How to Get My Child to Sleep Through the Night

Well, I'll share what I have done and you can take it or leave it....I have 6 kids and they have all pretty much slept through the night at 4 months with this method:

I allow my infants to stay up as long as I do so that when I sleep, they sleep too! When they get older and older, I gradually put them to bed a half hour earlier...then another half hour earlier.

Usually I put them on a 4 hour feeding schedule....6pm until 10 pm is rough, they are tired and I'm tired, but I stretch it out so that they are good and hungry and good and sleepy so that they can survive the night. After the 10pm feeding, I put the baby in her crib with a pacifier. During the night if she cries, I get up put the pacifier in her mouth, but DO NOT pick the baby up....baby learns that it is not time for all that, it's time for sleep which means staying in bed. I will rub her back for a few minutes to calm the baby down, but make sure the pacifier is in and the baby is comfortable. I leave and go back to bed. If she cries again, I will let her cry for about 5 minutes and then get up and repeat with pacifier and calming her down. Each time she gets up crying, let her cry longer...10 minutes, 20 minutes, etc.

I know, this is an agonizing process, but it should take a few nights for her to learn the process and for her to realize that it is time for sleep and quiet. If you have ever watch Super Nanny, she uses a similiar technique even with older children. You are the one who has to be consistant...if you relent, it WILL NOT WORK!!!You have to stand your ground on this and if you do it seriously should only take a few nights for the behavior to be learned and followed by your baby.

I think it is great that you are starting early...I have friends whose 10 yr. olds STILL don't sleep through the night because the parents never established routines and rules for bedtime, falling asleep on their own, and staying in their own bed!!! I would have died if I didn't start early with mine....can you imagine 6 kids in bed with me and my husband at various times of the night!!! No thanks!

Anyway, good luck! It is not easy, but soooooooo worth it!! Be Tough!

eating is not a habit, it is a necessity, especially for babies. let her eat, she is obviously hungry. I honestly do not understand a question: should you feed your baby or not?!

I don't see anything wrong with feeding your child. Yes it's true babies stomachs are supposed to be able to hold food for several hours at a certain age, but we all have different needs. I know me personally as a baby ate quite a bit. I was a rollie pollie baby until age 2, and now at 38 I'm quite thin, and still have a very large appetite. I have never denied any of my babies a feeding in the middle of the night or early morning. True, so far my children haven't slept thru the night until their 2nd birthday, but I also feel like this time in their little lives is so short, why torture them and ourselves making it harder? Just go with the flow and don't stress too much. The only thing that would have stressed me out was if any of them got bad teeth from it, but they didn't.

So, you question is "my daughter is hungry, should I feed her"?
Would you be able to sleep if you are hungry as a wolf? Many kids wakes up every 3-4 hours till they over 1 y.o. Specially if they are on breastfeeding. This is a normal thing - all kids are different. 8.30 to 12 give us 4 hours, 12 to 4 give us another 4 hours. That means that you baby needs to be fed every 4 hours. I bet you are trying some pattern that you got from someone else and you daughter just simply doesn't fit into that pattern. Honestly, I don't think that crying for 20 minutes is OK either... This is your baby but I feel bad for her :(

By 4 months babies stomachs are big enough to hold enough food to sustain them through the night. Unless she is going through a growth spurt she does not need to eat so frequently. Feed her all that is required for daily consumption during the day and be consistant at night with however you choose to get her to sleep.

A.

I know it is VERY hard to do this, but I recommend that you stop feeding her in the middle of the night. By this age she should get enough nutrients during the day that she should not need to eat in the middle of the night. The feeding before bed should be the last one until the morning. This may entail letting her cry (which is so hard), but she will probably get into a new routine within a week. Best of luck!

CIO is the only way to go. Certainly does not need to be
fed during the night at this age. Good luck. P.S. The
first few nights are rough, but then each night thereafter
gets better and better. You will all be happier.

I have an 8 month old daughter and my advice to you is to definately NOT feed her after that 8:00-8:30 bottle. Stop going in her room and after a few nights of screaming(I know its hard to listen to but if you stick it out it will be worth it)she should stop. She is old enough to sleep through the night but she is getting used to you coming in and picking her up. Try not to go in anymore after she is put down for the night and see if this changes after a few days.

If she is taking the entire bottle, then she is truly hungry and needs the bottles. I did it gradually. So I started given less and less every week, and increase it by the same amount during the day. It eventually got ot the point that he didn't want any when he woke up, and at that time I no longer had to worry about him being hungry. He was 7 1/2 or 8 months by the time he no longer needed milk in the middle of the night. I think the whole process took me about 1 month. Good luck

Hello M.
I read your letter about the baby getting up 3 time at night have you start feeding her solid food? or she is just on milk,
if she goes to bed at 8:30 try to give her some baby cereal, which in out time we use to call it Pablum,don't give her much to drink when she goes to bed so she won't wet maybe when she wet that how she wake up, I hope it's gonna help you, at her age she should be on solid food, mash banana,
GOOD LUCK

My daughter is just about 10 months old and she jusst started sleeping through the night this week. She was the same way. She took her last bottle at about 9:00pm and then she was up at 3:30 am for another feeding. Many people told me not to feed her and to just let her sooth herself. I found that by me letting her sooth herself she would carry on for almost and hour and then at that point I was not able to go back to sleep. I found it easier to take the 10 mintues to give her a bottle and she was back to sleep immediatly and slept until 7:30am. It is really best for you to do whatever is best for you and he baby!!! I know that feeding my daghter in the middle of the night was not always what I wanted to do, but if she was hungary I felt bad not feeding her. Good Luck!!

We just started doing this with my 11 month old DD. We put her to bed at 8pm after her last feeding. Instead of me going to put her back to sleep at 11pm my husband gos up, gives her back the pacifier that she lost and sits in a chair near the crib so she can see him. We do not talk to her or pick her up. She falls back to sleep after about 5 minutes. When she wake up again at 4 I figure it has been long enough since her last feeding at 8, so I nurse her and she goes back to sleep. She will sleep until 10 if I let her and her sister is quiet when she wakes up, (she shares a room with our almost 4 year old dd.) When my older 3 children were being transitioned like this, I never went into their room again after I put them to bed at 8. I would peak at them to make sure they were okay and then just let them cry themselves back to sleep. After a few days of this they stopped waking up and just slept through the night. I am not ready to do this yet with my baby. Hope this helps.

PS I know my dd is not hungry since I am nursing her and can tell the difference between her eating and her just using me as a pacifier. At the 11pm wake up time she was using me to pacify herself and not taking in any milk. She would also be asleep less then 5 minutes after latching on. Just wanted to add this since there are alot of people on here that seem to be upset by people not feeding their babies when they wake up in the middle of the night.

It sounds like you have changed her bedtime routine a tiny bit (stopped rocking). It may take her a week to get used to that.

My DD (5mo) has been sleeping through the night (she may not be asleep, but she's in bed: 7p - 7a) since about 3mo, with a RARE wake-up which requires us. We have a very specific bedtime routine, so she knows it's time to wind-down for the night. I agree with the other post about finding a "lovie" for her. Once I gave my DD the lovie, it really helped her calm herself down - I carry a spare in the diaper bag for emergencies. I also agree with the slowly cutting down of the amount in the bottle. I could see how that would work. I don't know how you feel about pacifiers, but DD gave her's up around 3 months. She uses it now for teeth pain relief, but I can see how for other kids it works wonders.

Speaking of which, she might be waking up for teeth pain. Is she trying to make teeth? Does she have some already? Have you tried any sort of gels?

This is our routine. It may or may not work for you, but it took me about a week to find out how she liked it. It took about a week of the "right" routine for her to help her through the night. If I try to rush or skip a step, she gets so ANGRY!

6p: start doing sponge bath or regular bath. allow for a little bit of play time.
6:20p: do all the stuff to get into PJs (dry-off, fresh diaper, lotion massage, hairbrushing, whatever)
6:40p: give a 4 ounce very warm bottle and slowly rock. (She's starting solids, so she has something about 4:30 or 5p, so she doesn't necessarily want a whole bottle before bed.)
6:50p: read "Good Night Moon" three times while slowly rock and hope for a burp (I have it memorized by now, so I don't actually use the book, which would wind her up.)
6:55p: in crib with duck/pony/butterfly lovie (whichever one is clean), turn on good night music CD (no repeat), walk out

Sometimes she fusses a bit right at 7p, so I'll go in, sit her up, try for a burp, then lay back down. She DOES NOT get to get out of bed or not touch the mattress. She will sometimes get a nightmare, but it's usually around 8 or 9p. For her, I can pick her up, hug her, stand up lightly bouncing for about 20 seconds, then back in bed with lovie - and she'll go back to sleep.

Good luck to you.
A.

Not all babies sleep through the night so your daughter maight be one of them. What helped my son was increasing his feedings during the day. A nurse friend told me they need a cerrtain amount of food so if they don't get it during the day they will wake up for it at night. Eespecially at the age were they want to explore and find new things, they are too busy during the day and forget to eat. Also my son sleeps horribly and wakes up a lot if I put him done right after he eats. He goes to sleep any where fron 1-2 hours after he eats.

Both of my kids did the same thing, and I found a suggestion in a book that said you need to start putting them to bed earlier. After a certain age, they need to get to bed at a reasonable hour as you start to get them on a real nighttime schedule. I started putting them to bed an hour earlier (like around 7), and it worked like a charm for both of them!
I read this in: Healthy SLeep Habits, healthy child. I read a lot of these books, but this was the only one that pulled a lot of theories together, and didn't make me feel like a bad mommy if I didn't do things THEIR way!

When my daughter was 7 months old, it was time for her sake and mine to sleep through the night. I followed the Ferber method and was lucky she never cried more than 10 minutes before putting herself to sleep and then by the third night she was falling right to sleep. At this point you should not be feeding your daughter during the night. If she wakes up give her a chance to figure out how to soothe herself and get back to sleep. She isn't waking up because she hungry as you know.

On another note once she sleeps through the night try to put her on a schedule, going to bed around the same time every night.

do you feed her more than a bottle before you put her down for the night my son when he was born he was up every 2 hours i started feeding him cereal before bed and he slept through the night my daughter the same thing she slept through the night when i brought her home from the hospital so try feeding her some cereal and giving her a nice warm bath then putting her down

Hi Manisha
My daughter is 8.5 mos, and we've just completed a week a solidifying a schedule so she can sleep through the night. In the past she was getting up at least 2x and as much as 4x. That means I was getting up 8x to get her from and put her back in her crib. It was not pretty. So here's what I did:
I increased her solid meals during the day from 2 meals to 4-5. She's a tiny girl, and she tears up her food which ranges from oatmeal and fruit, egg yolk with rice, fresh veggie and rice, fresh mixed fruit and quinoa, plus breast all throughout the day. I feed her her last meal around 7, give her some breast and by 8 she's in bed. She's been waking up once at night for a few mins, but i peek at her, and leave her in her crib. She cries a little and then falls right back to sleep. Last night, she didn't wake up at all! Plus, since she's not eating at night, her diapers don't get full, so there's no need to change.
She doesn't need to eat at night. She will, if you provide it. But try to up her meals during the day, and weening her off at night, and in a week, she should be fine. But remember, schedules are always works-in progress AND you have to do what's best for you! Good luck!

Hi M.,

By chance, is she strictly breastfed? With both my babies I was up every few hours all every night until I stopped breastfeeding them. With my oldest I tried rocking him, Ferberizing, giving him a bottle of warm water with a little Karo syrup and getting Dad in there to take over, but nothing ever worked! He just wanted boobies and nothing less would do. Eventually I learned to accept it and just be sleep-deprived. When my younger son started pulling the same routine during his first year, I went along with it. I don't think I ever slept more than four consecutive hours with either one of them during that first year (and four hours was a blessing!); I finally came to the conclusion that some babies just get hungrier at night than others, especially breast fed ones. Breast milk is so much lighter than formula that it just passes through their tiny tummies a lot quicker.

If that's not the case, or it really bothers you to feed her at night, try giving her a good solid food feeding, putting her in the tub with some of that Johnson and Johnson lavender scented bath gel (Love that stuff!), then getting her snuggled up and giving her a bottle/nursing her before you lay her down to sleep. If you are lucky that might help.

Good luck,

M.

Hi M.-

You are at the perfect time to let her cry it out. I did it eith both my boys and it worked like a charm. She cannot get used to feeding through the night. It is not normal for adults and as long as she is a healthy weight and your pediatrician has not ordered for her to eat at night, she is old enough to sleep all the way through. She may cry for a few minutes when you put her down initially, let her be. When she wakes up at night let her cry. It usually takes about 2 nights for them to get the picture. Be patient and brave! It's not easy to hear your baby cry, but know that she is fine and that it is for her own good. Try it this weekend and maybe you'll get a great nights sleep by Monday! Best of Luck!

I had similar problems with my son. He is a twin so I always ran in and picked him up because I was afraid he would wake his sister. I spoke to my pediatrician and he suggested I start watering down his bottle, because he DID NOT need to be fed at this age (6 1/2 months)After 3 nights he stopped waking up to be fed!! I also stopped picking him up. I would pat his butt a little but then I would leave the room b/c I made it worse when he saw me. I hope this helps so you can get some rest.

Manisha,
As my doctor recently told me of our 6 month daughter, she should be able to sleep through the night at this point. First question, are you feeding her solids yet? If not, I suggest starting there. She will be more satisfied when she goes to sleep. What we recently have done with our daughter to get her to sleep through the night is a technique called "Ferberizing." It worked for us in only 2 nights! It is tough at first, but it works and now we are all sleeping through the night. The way it worked for us: put your daughter down in her crib when she is really sleepy, not asleep, just sleepy. She will cry. Let her cry for 5 minutes (it will seem like eternity, but you can do it), then go in and sooth her, do not pick her up or feed her or anything, just sooth, talk to her pat her back or caress her head. Then walk away. Let her cry again, this time for 10 min. After 10 min, go in and sooth again. Repeat this, adding 5 min everytime. I know it sounds horrible and it is REALLY hard, but they do eventually fall asleep. The first night took about an hour. She started to wind down during the 20 min stretch. The second night it lasted 1/2 hour. She fell asleep during the 15 min stretch. The third night, she made it through the night!! You really have to be consistent, other wise you will have to start all over. And you should do it when you are putting her down for her naps as well. Those little episodes didn't last long for us. She would cry for 5 min then fall out on her own. The key is to put them down when you know they are really tired. This is what worked for us. If you want to read more about this technique, go to babycenter.com.

Good Luck!!
E.

This is a timely issue for me because we just got through our third night of CIO/Ferber after my 5-month old kept waking more and more frequently during the night to nurse. Like yours, he would NOT stop screaming until he was fed. What we decided to do was establish ONE feeding time during the night - if he woke after 1am and was hungry, I would nurse him, but then back to sleep (awake) and no other feedings before or after until morning. So far, like everyone says, it has really worked. He has cried less and less each night and is napping better than ever too. You might want to try some version of this so you don't have to cut out feedings so suddenly - but also setting limits.

I am a new parent with a 3 month old.
And I am just wondering, why you don't want to feed her in the middle of the night?
Also when they are ready won't they sleep through the night?
I want to know what I am in for.
I have followed my baby's lead so far and it seems to be working. Just wondering what your take on this is?

gosh you got alot of responses. everyone has different ideas of parenting so make sure you decide where you want to be as a mom before taking action.
imo, every baby is different. are you breastfeeding. if so she may actually be hungry as you never know how much she has eaten all day and if she doesnt get her quota, she will need to make it up. also, you rocked her and she misses that, so she may just want the comfort that you give her during these feedings. i wouldnt stop. first, you just started a big change as far as the sleeping with not rocking. 2nd, if you cannot comfort her any other way, i would say she is hungry. its one thing to wake up crying and fall back asleep after being fed OR rocked. but if nothing else comforts her, i would think she is hungry. to not feed her AND not rock her seems kinda cruel. she doesnt have any idea why this is all happening, but thats just my opinion.
i personally dont believe in letting a baby CIO. i think people read one article or book, and live by it like the bible, not bothering to find other ideas available. if a baby sleeps thru the night, it is no bearing on how good the parent or child is. its just the nature of that child, whereas another child has a completely different routine. it is quite normal for some children to not sleep well and others to sleep like a log, all are different.
please remember she is only a baby, and babies cry because they need something.

Try giving her something more filling than just formula or breastmilk for the midnight feeding. try cereal or something that will be heavier in her tummy. she may sleep better that way.

Hi, M.. I have three boys ages 3 yr old, 2 yr old and 6 month old. From experiences, every child is different, but one thing I believe is the same for every child is to feed them whenever they are hungry. My older two boys did not wake up in the middle of the night to eat and again, I fed them formula which I didn't want to, but had no more breastmilk for them. Formula is heavier and for my boys, it held them over longer. From finding out from my midwife that Fenugreek helps produce more breastmilk which has for me....my point here is that my third son is up once or twice through the night because he's hungry and I nurse him. You should always feed your babies whenever they're hungry. She'll eventually get out of it, but for now, she is still a baby who happens to be hungry. What are you feeding her? Are you nursing her whenever she gets up in the middle of the night or feeding her formula? Are you nursing or giving her cereal or baby food before going down the night at 8:30p?

Manisha,
My son is now 12 months and was waking up to nurse at night at least once until he was 10 months old. Sometimes he was hungry and I could tell by how frantically he nursed but I did feel that a lot of the time it had to do more with either illness or teething and he just wanted to be close but nothing but the breast would really console him. Now, at 12 months when I put him in his crib at around 8:30 he usually sleeps until 3 or 4 am and then wakes up. I bring him into bed with us, cuddle him and he falls back asleep until 7 or 8am. He gradually changed what he needed. I stressed out about the sleeping through the night in his crib without the need for food until I realized that it had more to do with the fact that I read babies are supposed to do that. One of the first questions people ask you when you have a baby is "is he/she sleeping through the night?" Which didn't help my worry that he didn't. Then I realized that I didn't mind feeding him, bringing him into bed or rocking him to sleep, in fact I love it and I know it is temporary because if I look back on the past year and how much he has adjusted or changed it is really remarkable. I really like what Dr. Sears has to say about babies and sleep. He has a great book but also a website if you would like a pediatricians perspective that says most babies wake up at least once and can up to the age of 2 or 3! (I think, I am only going off of memory here so I apologize if I am not being totally accurate.) He also talks a lot about sharing the responsibility with your partner at night so you can get some much needed rest.
Hope this helps and just know that my son made leaps and bounds in his sleep at @ 10 months so you may see some big changes very soon.

We just had this same question the other day. And right now I am going through the same thing as you with my 8 mo old. I tried this and it seems to be working. The first night I only let her have 2 oz. The second night it was about 1.5oz. She hasn't really woken during the night since. Last night she was up at 11:30 but she only drank 1 or 2 oz before bed and I know that if she eats at 11 or so she'll sleep til 5 which is when we get up anyway. But slowly decrease the amount that you give her at each night feeding. I would give her 2 oz a night or two then 1.5 oz a night or two. Until your down to nothing.

The only way to stop all the night time waking and prolonged crying is to take away the bottles. Its tough for a week or so but ultimately should work. Is your daughter getting enough solids to eat at dinner time? That is helpful. Good luck! N.

when you say you feed her in the middle of the night, you mean breastfeed or formula-feed?

It sounds like she is used to you for soothing in order for her to fall back to sleep which is totally normal(I love the newborn stage). My daughter did the same thing so I started putting a blankie(one that is nice and soft)right by her cheek and and in between her hands so that she associated the blankie with sleeping. It will probably take a few days for her to get used to it... she'll probably still wake up at 4:30pm but you won't have to pick her up anymore you just have to move the blankie closer to her so she can sooth herself back to sleep. When I had my second child i started him early with that and it was great.... we both got sleep.It will work... -M.

Hi!
Well my advice is to give your baby a nice soothing shower with bed time products by johnson and feed about 2 ounces more than usual. What I do with my 6 month old is give him his shower btn 8:30 and 9pm. I give him a bottle of 7 ounces which he will take completely sometimes and he does not wake up till about 7am but sometimes a bit earlier. Also since he is taking 7 ounces b4 going to bed what i do is take away an ounce the feeding time prior to his bedtime. He did try for two days to wake up in the middle of the night but I did not feed him so he doesnt make that connection that if he wakes and cries, his hero will come with a bottle. Also, i am sure your baby is of good weight so they are more than fine to go through the night without being fed. This is my experience and hope this may help out a bit.

S.

M.,

Is this a problem for you or are you worried about what others usually say should be happening? Some friends and I were laughing the other day about how we would just tell the doctors, "Yep, he puts himself to sleep." "Yep, he sleeps through the night." Even when they really weren't. For us, it wasn't a big deal. We knew that the time would come when they WERE putting themselves to sleep and they WERE sleeping through the night and our older children do. My 8 month old still nurses to go to sleep at night and still wakes up one to three times a night. It depends on if he is teething, how busy he day was, and a whole bunch of other things. To me, it just isn't a big deal because I know the night will come soon enough where he won't need me as much.

I wish you the best,
L.

hi M.;

it's great that you are asking for advice on this issue from experienced moms here on this chat. be very careful about the advice that you choose to take and only follow what really feels right in your heart.

i feel strongly that it is best to give a baby whatever they need especially food and especially at such a young age. at 7 and a half months babies can't follow a schedule and they can't be expected to sleep through the night, EVEN in your doctor, mother, or anyone else tells you otherwise. the babies need to eat very frequently at this age because they are growing so fast. so i would advise you to give the baby food whenever she needs it. don't worry, it's not possible to put 'bad habits' or 'spoiling' in place this early.

good luck to you.

J.

What I did was started to wean my child from the middle of the night feedings. For example, 6oz of formula to 2 oz of water. Then in a few days, 4oz of formula to 4 oz of water...2 oz of formula to 6 oz of water....then all water. Your child won't find it appetizing to wake up and just drink the water.
Don't feel bad about not feeding your child at night. If she is fed enough during the day, there is no need for her to eat at night. The late night feeding has just become part of her routine. So if you want to change that routine, there is nothing wrong with it.
Don't let people tell you that you are a horrible mother b/c you're not feeding your child at night. I'm sure she is adequately fed during the day.
Good luck!

First of all, I would start putting her to bed a bit earlier. More like seven/seven thirty. Then I would let her cry it out for the first waking and feed her for the second waking. Once she is out of the habit of waking around eleven thirty, I'd cry it out for the four am feeding.
A lot of my friends say that their babies didn't sleep through the night until they were nine months old. I cried it out with my son around six months to get him to sleep through the night, but I'm waiting to cry it out with my daughter until eight months.
Good luck, sounds like you are on the right path.

I have been having the same problem with my 7 1/2 month old. She is actually a worse sleeper now than when she was a newborn! I do notice she sleeps better on nights where she has had mor babyfood during the day.

Ekkk i am shocked at how many people let their children cry in the middle of the night. If she is waking up it is because she is hungry and you should feed her. Feberizing aka crying it out isn't reccomended until the child can comunicate their needs so starting at 8 months is way too young. I know it sucks not s;eeping through the night, i am in the same boat, but she is still just a baby and despite what others tell you MOST children don't sleep through the night until after their 1st birthday.

A few tips to try though that may work. With my first baby i would feed her and put her to bed in her normal style, then i'd wake her up an hour or so later, feed her again and put her back to bed. Most of the time that would eliminate the need for a middle of the night bottle. Or you could try increasing all her feedings during the day so she has more food in her system at night time. Maybe a sippy cup of water put in her crib after she falls asleep would help? She could be waking up thirsty and some water might sooth her needs and she wouldn't need to wake YOU up!

I personally think you guys have an awesome routine going and shouldn't mess with it though!

Hi M.,
I agree with the previous post from Christine...our daughter is almost 11 months old, and still from time to time will get up, I give her a bottle-she just quit nursing earlier this week :(
She is our last and I'm savoring every moment...and truthfully, with a 5 and 3 1/2 year old, I don't have the patience for Ava to self soothe and wake everyone in the house up!
I guess I would say just enjoy the extra alone time you have with baby...they grow so fast, before you know it, they'll be at a friends' house overnight!
HTH!
J.