How Much of a Difference Is There Really Between Having One and Two Children?

hahahahahaha, I would tell you but then you might opt out!!! I am so glad I had no concept of the difference and just went for it :) Simply put I will say, yes, it is a ton more work, but oh so worth it!! Cuddling a newborn baby again was so amazing and watching them play and laugh together now is amazing and gets me through the really tough moments. Now they are 3.5 and 1, so things are starting to flow more smoothly....kind of....or maybe I have just adjusted to the chaos....;) I am now wondering how much of a difference between two and three.....guess I will find out soon enough!! I say go for it!!!

I have 2 (2.5 years and 8 months), and it was hard at first - and still is sometimes. When they are both hungry at the same time or one has to pee when the other is screaming, it gets stressful. But when they are playing together or making each other laugh, it melts my heart. It also means twice as many hugs and snuggles.

I had a few different friends tell me that having two is the hardest because the oldest is used to getting all the attention and now she has to share. Once you have three, the older ones occupy each other, so you don't have as much of the sibling rivalry for attention.

I don't think there is much difference because you are already in "mommy mode." I actually think that the more you have, the easier it is. They entertain each other (after the initial infant stage). For me, going to 3 was the most difficult, but that was more my mind-set than anything else. Going to 4 was a piece of cake, and the rest that have come after that have been very easy as we have many arms to hold and help.

My boys are 5 and 4 (and my daughter is 2).
In the morning, the boys get up and play cars together for at least 15 minutes before one of them comes out to go potty. After my 5 year old comes home from school, I am guaranteed at least an hour of time with my 2 year old because they are so excited to see each other, they play uninterrupted for an hour or more. My 4 and 2 year olds will play together for 15-20 minutes at a time (this is new for them).

They all laugh, love, and talk constantly. My oldest reads to the youngest. My middle one tries to make the others laugh when they are sad. They play chase. They play cars. They play dolls and house.

Having more than one child is the best. :)

J.

Def a lot more work but worth it!! My daughter just turned one and my son is about to be 3. They are both still in diapers which can get expensive! I feel like we go thru a box a day! I like that they have a playmate, when they are being nice to each other, and they are really close. Leaving the house is hard unless I have my hubby with me. Going to the grocery store requires 2 buggies. If my son is sick and wants to be loved on and held all day it's hard with already having a little one who wants the same. We are excited that we are about to be free of all the baby stuff that takes up so much room, bouncers, swings, no more pacifiers, no more washing bottles every night!! There are tons of reasons why it's harder and more exhausting but it is totally worth it! At night time when they give each other a hug and kiss goodnight makes everyday worth it!!

OMG... there is such a difference! I honestly didn't feel like I had really come into my own as a mom until I had 2. Now, the difference between 2 and 3 isn't really anything at all. As long as you keep a schedule and a system for yourself, then you can do two, no big deal :) Good luck with your thinking!

I have 3! I and my hubby both work fulltime outside the home but work opisite shifts so we do not need daycare. my kids are about 3 years apart. I love having more kids! definatly more work, but sooooo worth it, and sometimes it's easier. With two they have playmates and do not need as much of your time. I say go for it! Just as there will be twice as much trouble, there will aslo be twice as much fun!

Not much difference really. Once you adjust to the second it's not much difference. I had my second and thought three isn't much different than two and then four isn't much difference than three and so on and ended up with 8 of them. :-) That's just me and yes I think the hardest adjustment is from one to two and then from then on it's easier.

I have a 3 yr 4 month old son and 5 week old daughter - YES, its a lot more work as babies are a lot of work no matter how you shake it (I also work mostly from home, only in my office 1 day/week, although right now I'm on maternity leave until mid-March) BUT from everything I hear from my friends with more than 1 child, its exponentially worth it once the baby gets a bit older. Personally, seeing my son want to say hello to his sister first thing in the morning, or try to share toys with her is worth all the exhaustion right now :) Its an individual choice though - good luck figuring out what is best for your family!!

my girls are 2 years apart and I am a stay at home mom. For me it was easier to have 2 than just one. Even when I first had the baby my 2 year old was such a big helper. I know that sounds dumb but she loved her little sister and would sit and talk to her or sing to her if I was doing something and couldn't get to my infant right away like in the shower or trying to make lunch etc. My infant would be totally content if her sister was by her so that made it way easier to get stuff done. Plus I felt like i was already in the whole baby mommy mode so it was easy to just keep going and add another. I'm actually 7 months pregnant now and I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and I'm not worried about this next baby at all.

There's a BIG difference! I had mine closer together, but it has been extremely intense. I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old -both boys. Two of my best friends who had their seconds after I did agree that I wasn't kidding about the difference. It's a LOT of work! I also work outside the home and from home, and if they're here, no work gets done. There has to be childcare involved. I think if you're child will be 4 by the time a new baby comes along, you'll be in a bit better shape -the oldest will be potty trained, probably in preschool, more self-sufficient, etc. It's just double (and often feels like triple) the work going places, etc. I wouldn't take anything for them, but it's exhausting -especially if you enjoy any type of "life of your own" or "alone time."

I have two boys 20 months apart. It is great but a lot of work. My husband and I joke that we had one more child and got three times the work. My kids are close together so I think you will have it easier. We just past the first year with both of them and it is getting a lot easier. I think the transition maybe rough but you'll learn to juggle it all. Good luck.

I have a 2 month old and a 3 year old, so it's pretty rough right now, but I can tell it will be easier when the baby is a little bigger. My son was just the right age to understand the basics, and he loves having a little sister. He tries to help with everything and he wants so badly to play with her. If your daughter is almost 4 when you have another child, it will probably be a while before they can play together, but she will enjoy getting to be mommy's little helper.

I was super worried that it would be soooo difficult with two little ones. Our son was right at 3 years old when our 2nd was born. But actually, other than it being a little rough the first couple months (when I was still sleep deprived and couldn't nap with the baby b/c of the older one who wasn't napping any more) it was actually quite a bit easier. And now.... I would go nuts if there was only one. They depend on each other SO much for playtime and silliness that I don't always feel like (or have time to) be a part of. They can ride bikes around the neighborhood together while I'm making dinner. Or play Wii games while I work on the computer or fold laundry or whatever. They play games in the back seat of the car together (DS download stuff) while I am driving. They really love each other.. and it is very sweet to hear one ask me if the other will be coming with us for this or that... not because they don't want them to but because they DO want them to. They are 12 and 9 years now. Boy and girl. And they are very different children, and occasionally argue/bicker like all siblings do, but they SO love each other too. I cannot imagine them not having each other to share childhood memories with in later years.
The juggling act isn't that much more juggle, lol. The older one will actually learn how to help you, and this is a great learning/maturing process for them also... learning to be a mentor in some ways.

If your children don't adhere to set bedtimes, it might be a lot harder. Or if you rear your children with no rules and allow them to be the one running the household, it might be chaotic to add another child into it. But in a home where the parents are training up their child to respect the family unit and be respectful little people, it is not that much more work and COMPLETELY worth every bit of that little extra effort.

having 2 kids is great. i'm expecting my 4th boy at the end of feb. so when i think about when i had a 2 yo and a newborn it was a breeze:) my oldest 2 are such good friends and have such fun together. they really learn to share well and speak to each other politely (not always but they learn). your oldest will be almost 4 if you were to have another anytime soon-so she would be a good helper and with lots of family support i think it would be fine. now don't get me started on having a third-that was much tougher:) good luck with your decision-i don't think you would ever regret another child.

HI Hilary,
For us it was exponentially harder for a few years, but our kids were 20 months apart. In your case, it may be much different because of the age gap you'll have.

Having two is definitely different though. Unless you're 3 year old is in preschool, you may not get much of a break because she will likely be grown out of naps and/ or the nap schedule won't match up with your infant. That can be a struggle if your sleep deprived and if you're trying to work at home too.

But as I said... it was hard for a few years and now it's much easier in a lot of ways. I love having my two close together because they play like friends, and for lots of other reasons that have shown up along the way.

Good luck in whatever you decide!!

you sound a lot like me actually. I only wanted and was fine with one child... however, we just had another one (bc failure)... they are almost exactly 5 years apart... and I am sooooo thankful for the age separation because my 5 year old goes to school which gives me time with the baby. She is much more independent, not in diapers, a wonderful "helper" (because she just likes to be, not because I make her...lol), absolutely loves her little brother. So, for me... the idea of two or more small children was completely overwhelming to me... I LOVE the age difference between my kids, and makes having two kids much more doable for my personality! It has been a blessing in disguise, and I'm glad our birth control decided not to work! lol

It is a big difference. It is a completely different dynamic. It is great! Since your first is already three and will be at least four if you have another, you will be completely starting over with a new infant. It just becomes a juggling act. But if you work at home and have a three yr. old - you probably already do a pretty good juggling act, so you should be pretty good at it. I am an only child, so I always encourage those that only have one child to have another - it stinks being an only 'adult' child :( I would love to have another sibling to help carry the load regarding parental care. Anyway, sorry got off topic, there is a big difference but not as big as I have been told to have three!

Yes there is more work for 2 kids. Somedays twice as much effort, somedays it seems like the same amount of work for 2 children. Just depends.
But the benefits learned by sharing with another and learning to take turns, to have a sibling, etc....far outweigh the work.

My oldest just went off to college and the youngest is in the "terrible 17's."
He is going thru peer stuff and teacher things that he doesn't want to talk to us about. So he'll call his older brother to share what is going on or to get advice. They have grown a lot closer since the oldest has gone off to school.

I am confused how you can be a stay-at-home mom who has a full-time job (unless you're talking about mothering as your job)...

but, I've got a daughter who's almost six and a daughter who is 8 months old. So, for the first five years of motherhood, I did only have one...and yes, it is so different having two.

Really, really think about it...and consider all the changes. So many are wonderful, but you can never "undo" another child!

With one, you can give them every ounce of love and attention you have. On the flip side, all your expectations also ride on them, and sometimes mothers of single children tend to have the "I'm your friend first" syndrome, which can be very unhealthy for a child.

With two, you are divided...no less love for either one, but you certainly have less time and energy to devote to each one as an individual.

Also consider the relationship THEY will have together...that's the longest lasting relationship in a person's life, the one they have with a sibling.

My girls are 7 years apart and I LOVE having two children opposed to one (which I did for 7 years). I find the toddler looking for big sister all over the house and my oldest asks for little sister as soon as I pick her up from school. they watch movies together, take baths together, play, fight, laugh. I could go on and on, I'm a stay-at-home mom too so while the oldest is at school I bond with my little one , but to be honest afternoons are more fun when we are all together in the house.
We are trying to conceive #3 right now so as you can see I didn't find it overwhelming to have two children :o)
Honestly I don't think you'll regret it and I'm sure you can make it work and your little one will fit right in.

It is fun with two kids. I love it. My kids are almost 4 years apart. I love the age diff. I was able to enjoy so much of my first child and then when she got older, she started preschool and I could enjoy the baby a bit each day. They are good friends and there has not been any major hardships.

I would definetly recommend you have a second. Its soo much easier because you won't have to entertain as much. They have each other. Your older one is going to want to help too! They make grea helpers. I have a 6, 2, y/o & 3 month old and they only get easier to manage. My only complaint is the nursing bit. It robs soo much attention. But it is my decision. Good luck and keep us posted!

While doing homework with your older one, you'll have a toddler trying to eat (or tear up) her papers, 3 more meals to make a day, two heads to watch for while you're out, and so much more. It's so fun having two though. My girls are 3 and 10 and of course they fight, but they love each other and play so well sometimes.

My son was just a little over 2 when the baby was born. It has been so much easier then I thought. At first it was tough because i was having alot of breast feeding challenges, but now its really not bad.

Managing two or more little people that cannot help themselves is work. The benefit of having them as company, to share things, to relieve you of being the one to entertain, to not worry about them being lonely is a plus.

You've gotten a lot of advice! I agree with a lot of what everyone else has says. My 2 boys entertain each other so well. I do not miss driving cars all hours of the day, lol. With 2 you have to deal with the fighting and sibling rivalry stuff, but I really think it's all a good learning experience for them. And the good moments far outweigh the bad. I also agree with some other moms that 3 was the big transition. Having 2 didn't seem near as hard to me as when we added our 3rd.

I have one child but I can just throw in... I was talking to my friend the other day and when we talk things that I do with my daughter she has trouble doing with her 2 sons. Her sons are 2 and 4 so maybe the ages are why, but when we talk it sounds like she has a lot more work and stress then I do and it sounds like entertaining two different aged kids is more complex than me trying to entertain my one little girl :P Sorry if this is useless, I read your question and it reminded me of my sort-of epiphany the other day about my friend.