How Long Should Baby Stay in Mom and Dads Room?

Updated on June 16, 2008
A.M. asks from Pueblo, CO
42 answers

I really have two questions. I have decided the past few days to switch our 6 month old son from his portable crib in our bedroom to his big crib in his own bedroom due to the fact that he’s starting to out grow the portable crib and he’s rolling around a lot more and I feel the big crib would be safer. I was nervous about it at first since his bedroom is on the opposite side of the house. But we have tested out his big crib the past few nights and I’m feeling ok with it. My husband on the other hand is freaking out about it. He has this fear that he will roll face down and not be able to breathe. Even though that fear is in the back of my head also I try to trust that our baby will fix himself if he needs to. After all, he did fine in his portable crib. My husband wants to move his big crib into our bedroom so that we can watch him better at night. I have mixed feelings on that. I don’t want him to think our room is the only place to sleep as he gets older and I want him to feel safe and comfortable in his own space. Plus I really don’t want to have to take apart his crib and try to find room for it in our bedroom. These past few nights of baby sleeping in his own room have worn me out. And not at the baby’s fault. My husband intently listens to the monitor for any sound and if he moves in his sleep he gets up and checks on him, or wakes me up and tells me to go check on him. And typically everything is fine. I thought my husband would have settled down about it by now but last night he went to check on him several times and twice he ended up waking our son up, and then passes him off to me so I can settle him back down to sleep. I got little to no sleep. I’m temped to give in to my husbands request to move the crib back into our room so he will feel more at ease and I can get better sleep. I’m at a loss at how to handle this? How do you know when its time to make the move? The baby is doing fine sleeping in another room. It’s my husband who feels like he’s not ready. Any thoughts?

My second questions is, our son has always slept on his back, but now that he is getting good at rolling we find him on his side or on his tummy when he sleeps. And when he is on his tummy he doesn’t always turn his head to make breathing easier. Which is probably why my husband is panicking about it. Is there anyway to keep him laying on his back or a way to teach him how to lay on his tummy the right way? Or should I just trust that baby will move himself if he has trouble breathing? And how do I get my husband to feel more at ease?

Thank you for your thoughts.

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J.L.

answers from Denver on

It sounds to me that this is your husband's issue. If your son is sleeping well in his crib and in a different room whats the problem. The problem is your husbands paranoia. My 2 were both in a crib at 6 months and did fine. There are more important things to worry about. Like choking on things or them learning to drive as teenagers. Make your husband put him back to sleep if he wakes up the baby. Again, his issue.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

First it is great your hubby is so concerned however allowing the baby to sleep in your room for much longer will set you up for a world of problems later. It is a habit later and a hard one to break. I am a firm believer that babies at first may need to be in the parents room but after that, they need their own space, the parents need their "kid free sanctuary" to reconnect and keep the relationship going.
I put my son in his own crib in his own room at 5 mos and it was a breeze, it is harder on the parents then the baby.
It may take a night or two to adjust but it is so important for all of you!
As far as him rolling over, as long as he can roll over then there isn't anything you need to worry about, make sure you have NO bumpers or loose plush animals or anything in his crib. My son rolled over at three mos and it freaked me out big time but he was strong and you have to let them be comfortable and cannot force them on their back if they are ready to flip over.
If he is strong enough to roll over he is fine. At six mos he should be holding his head up great and be able to lift his head if he needs to when he needs to.
Just have your Hubby talk to your Pediatrician, which will calm his concerns, go on places like Parentingcenter.com or things like that to help educate him on his worries.

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T.B.

answers from Denver on

A.
I would definetly NOT move your sons crib into your room with you. For one you guys are still pretty newly married and it's important to have your personal space!
Second your son will probably get a better night sleep(unless dad is waking him up =)in his own room. I know when we moved our son to his own room he started sleeping through the night!

*What about moving the port-a-crib into his room and letting him sleep in that for a week to help your husband adjust.

*You could also get a video moniter so he could SEE him without bothering him.

As far as moving around at night and ending up on his side or stomach this is totaly normal. Just make sure your not still swaddling him, that there are no blankets or plush toys in the crib with him.
If your really worried you could get one of thoes pillows that have two raised sides to them to keep him from rolling. My son eventually rolled over these too, and it would end up waking him up so I had to just remove it all together.
If your truly worried about him rolling over and not breathing right (I think a concern ALL parents have) you can also verbalize it to your pediatrician at your next visit to help give you piece of mind.

Good luck! I hope I was able to help!

T. B.
Team Leader
Bubble Goddess Bath Company
"Natural Bath Products For Your Inner Goddess"
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R.T.

answers from Denver on

Choosing where your baby sleeps is really up to you and your husband. There's no right or wrong answer. If your baby is sleeping well in his own room and isn't crying or anxious or waking more, then why not take this opportunity to let him have that independence and you your privacy? If your husband's really nervous about it, maybe you could create some sort of transition plan. Maybe he would like to sleep on a mattress on the floor of your baby's room for the first week or something, so that he feels ok, and you can all get some sleep. If it doesn't feel right to you both to have him across the house, than bring the crib in your room. If your husband feels strongly and you don't, then maybe yield to him on this. This is the norm in many cultures and many millions of baby's sleep that way in this world. Check askdrsears.com for more info on co-sleeping if you are leaning this way, but feel unsure of the logistics.

Go with what feels right and what works for all of you. The important thing is to teach your son that sleep is safe, secure and restful, so that he'll have good patterns for life. If he has them already, don't fix what's not broken.

Our son started rolling to his stomach to sleep at about that age, and there was no stopping it short of waking him up to roll him over. He's just going to do it. I stopped worrying after the first month or so. If he can roll back and forth, that's just what he'll do; some babies are more restless in their sleep. Good luck.

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S.B.

answers from Boise on

If he can roll over to his tummy, he's safe to sleep on his tummy. Both of my children have preferred tummy sleep as soon as they could get there on their own. When they're strong enough to get there, they're strong enough to move their head and adjust for better breathing.

If your baby's room is near enough for you to hear him crying, he's near enough to turn off that monitor! I would suggest nixing the monitor and coaxing your husband to relax. Your husband is keeping EVERYONE from getting enough sleep when he constantly checks on the baby. Maybe set a limit - he can only check on the baby once per night, then he needs to just relax and sleep. You'll all sleep better.

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J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I can completely understand the anxiety with this issue witha new child. How many of us haven't checked on our babies throughout the night to make sure they are still breathing? We have been trained to believe that a baby sleeping on their tummy may as well be a death sentence. While I agree that it is very important to always put our children to sleep on their backs, I think we tend to overdramatize the risk of them sleeping on their tummies. As others have said, once a child can roll, they are okay to sleep however they are comfortable - as long as they are on a firm mattress with no bumpers and a blanket that is tucked into the bottom of the mattress or no blanket, it really is safe for them to be in their own crib - wherever that may be.

As for having the crib in the parent's room or not, there is no right answer. It is something you & your husband should decide based on the facts (not fear or bias) and that you should negotiate. Here's what I know - There is no specific amount of time that the American Association of Pediatrics recommends for a child to be in your room as some have said. There is some evidence that sleeping in a parent's room reduces the chance of SIDS, but it is also true that the risk of SIDS drops dramatically at 4 months of age. I also think that it is overstating things to say that a child absolutely will or won't have trouble moving into their own room the older they get - but chances are they will. The majority of children get used to their sleeping environment and the older and more aware they become, the more difficult it is for them to change without trouble. Ironically, the better they are at sleeping & if they are pretty routined, the more likely they will have trouble moving later on. So take that for what it's worth and decide how important it is to you to have an independent sleeping child later on vs. how much anxiety you can deal with in the short term. If you're willing to risk sleepless nights ahead to relieve short term anxiety, have the baby in your room. If it's more important to establish independent sleeping habits that will have a higher chance of sticking and you can cope with the short-term anxiety by understanding that your baby really is safe on his own, keep him in his own room. He is definitely old enough to be on his own safely. Good luck!

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N.S.

answers from Provo on

Get a video monitor and e done, we loved it because we could see our daughter when she made noises and the one I got also has a sleep mode where it doesn't turn on unless the baby makes a significant sound. Your husband can check visually on the baby with this monitor. They were worth the money for the peace of mind.
N.

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L.T.

answers from Denver on

Hi A.,
I haven't read some of your other responses so I will probably repeat what some of the others have said.
Firstly, I was extra cautious when my son was a baby too. I was like your husband and listened all night long. You are lucky that your husband is so concerned and helpful. Firstly, if he is rolling over he should be fine if there are no blankets in the crib.
Secondly, I tried so hard to not let my child sleep in my room with me or otherwise. From four months until 20 months in his room. Unfortunately once those kids get their minds made up that they are scared or whatever, it becomes what it does and they end up sleeping with you despite all of your trying. So enjoy it while you can.
The good news about that is that you don't see many five year olds still regularly sleeping with their parents.
Good luck to you.

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J.S.

answers from Denver on

First - how long is totally subjective and up to you and your husband. Having said that, I'll share our experience.

Our little guy slept in our room in his pack 'n play for the first 4 months, and then we transitioned him to his crib in his room, which is also at the other end of the house. Once he figured out how to roll over, he only slept on his stomach - face planted into the mattress w/his little butt in the air.

Like your husband, mine worried incessantly. We partially solved that by getting a video monitor so we could see as well as hear the little guy. And my husband slept w/it on his side of the bed - volume cranked way up - so he could the little guy breathing. Now, at 19 months, I sleep w/the monitor (turned way down) and my husband sleeps like a log w/out worrying too much.

In my experience, the privacy of having our room back was liberating and our little guy sleeps better knowing he has a designated place to sleep.

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M.N.

answers from Pocatello on

I think it is great that you moved your son out of your room and he is doing so well. Count your lucky stars! I moved my daughter out of my room at 3 weeks. I could hear every noise she made in her sleep and was constantly checking on her. If I didn't hear her, I checked on her. I was not getting any sleep. I moved her to her room and prayed she would be alright. She is now a great sleeper at 3 1/2. We have never had her want to be in our room, something I am very greatful for, I do not want a child sleeping in my room.
If he can roll over, he will be fine. He can move himself to adjust so he can breathe. You need to relax and get some sleep. You will realize just how sleep deprived you are after a few nights good rest. As for your husband, he also needs to relax a little. Maybe he can sleep on the floor in the babies room for a night or two to see that everything is really fine. I would guess that after a few nights of this he will be ready for his own bed. Also, if he wakes the baby during the night, he should be resposible for getting him back to sleep.
Good luck to you!

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H.W.

answers from Boise on

I moved my daughter into her own crib at 6 or 7 weeks. She also is a stomach sleeper like me. But once they can roll around, it's really not that big of a deal. He's old enough to where he can move himself if need be. I'm not sure what to tell you with the husband thing, it's so sweet of him to be so involved, you're lucky that way. He sounds like a great dad. Maybe if you take it from the standpoint of him needing to trust your judgement as a parent? Or, what if you talked to a doctor about it? You've got to help him logic it out. I would strongly discourage putting the crib in your bedroom, I think you're right on on that one. Maybe have hubby sleep in the baby's room if he's that concerned. Good luck, and you're doing a great job! And remember that these are all our opinions, you're the mom and what you choose is going to be great.

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L.N.

answers from Providence on

I think you guys should try to stick it out. I think it will only get harder to move your baby out of your room when he's older and realizes that he wants to be in your room. I think you're doing all the right things and it's great that your baby is adjusting fine.

Maybe your husband could sleep on the floor in the nursery (on an air mattress) for a few nights to be close to the baby in his own room since he's so nervous about it. I know when we came home with our little guy I was SO nervous about him breathing and every little noise and didn't get any sleep, but after a little while I realized he would be okay and was able to sleep. So maybe you'll have a few restless nights and then your husband will realize he will be okay!?

My son started to roll in his crib in his sleep as well about 5 months old. I was SO nervous about it as well and asked about it on here. All of my responses said that once they can roll over, they can "hold their own" and know to turn their head or roll the other way (which my little guy wasn't doing either). I lost sleep over this one and would often check on him and have to turn his face to the side while he was on his tummy so he wasn't just breathing the mattress. After a little while of turning his head he finally realized that's how he was supposed to do it. It was pointless to turn him to his back as well because he would just wake up and roll to his tummy again.

Anyway, good luck and let me know if you have anymore questions.

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B.G.

answers from Billings on

A.-
My 6m/o son has been sleeping in his own crib in his brothers' bedroom since 4 months. And even though he always sleeps on his side, I have read that as soon as they're old enough to roll over and decide which way they want to sleep it's not as much of an issue with them not being able to breathe. Also, they have baby monitors that detect when the child is not breathing and it will go off, although they are very expensive- around $100. But I just want to give you some reassurance that my son sleeps in his crib in his own room since 4 months.

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H.C.

answers from Denver on

If he is able to roll himself over, he is fine to sleep on his stomach. My daughter moved to her own room at 7 months. I should have done it sooner. I slept so much better. She is still a stomach sleeper, she sleeps more sound on her tummy. Your husband needs to be stronger and relax he is making things worse for all of you, especially the baby. Also,if he is waking the baby it should be his responsibility to put him back to sleep. If he is going to be over paranoid, he should leave you out of it and deal with it himself. I would suggest turning off the monitor and only checking on him once in the night, just for peace of mind.

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M.R.

answers from Boise on

If your baby is doing fine in his own room please leave him there or you could be like us. My husband was the same and I don't think we've slept alone for more than a handful of days in the last 5 years. Although our daughter starts in her own bed about midnight every night she joins us. I am constantly tired and cranky and so is she. Our 4 year old son finally started sleeping in his own bed right next to his brothers about a year ago but he still sleeps with us sometimes as well. It might be reasonable when they are small but it's not so great when they are big. My 14 year old would love to continue sleeping with us as he did until he was about 3 and we finally just locked him our of our room where he slept snuggled up to the door for a year. Right now it's tempting to do the same with my daughter except that she screams for hours until we let her in.

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B.S.

answers from Denver on

Both of my boys were moved to their own rooms at 2 months. I planned to do it at 3months but both were too big for the bassinet. For us it made sleeping so much easier. When they are in the room you hear every movement and that kept me awake, not to mention I would constantly check on them because they were so close and I didn't have to get up to do it. We never used a monitor at night, partly because they were in the next room. But, that helped because we didn't hear everysound. As for worrying about sids. You aren't going to be able to do much if it is going to happen. Even if he is in your room your not going to hear it happen. Take all the precautions don't over dress him to sleep, put him to sleep on his back, etc. I'm sure you have read everything about sids and how to try and prevent. When they start rolling there is nothing you can do. My second son (10 1/2 months) loves to sleep on his tummy. I worried at first, but after waking him up to roll him over and having to stay for a couple of hours for doing it, I learned that it was my problem, not his. Let him sleep! You need to start that independence now because it will only get harder to let him do stuff for himself. It all starts with sleep. It's normal to be nervous and precautious, but don't be overly so. Good luck you can do. Give your husband ear plugs.

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S.H.

answers from Denver on

I moved my 1st to her room at 8 weeks and our 2nd to his room at 2 weeks. I am a very lite sleeper and I had a hard time sleeping in the same room with them because of all the noise they made.

I remember being scared the 1st time I saw my oldest had rolled on to her tummy in the middle of the night. I was scared of the same things as you that she would suffocate herself. I called the doctor because I was so scared. She told me that once a baby can get themselves rolled over there isn't much you can do to stop them. She suggested that devices designed to keep them on their back could actually do more harm than good...this is because if they do manage to roll themselves over when they have a sleep positioner in the bed they may not be able to roll themselves back with the positioner there. So I just made sure there was NOTHING in the crib and let her be. I will say that I slept in her room for a couple of nights on the floor to make sure...it took a few weeks for me to be comfortable with the situation...but eventually you need to do it.

One thing to remember...especially if you are breast feeding...if you have the baby in the room with you and the baby wakes up, you almost always have to feed him. The baby can hear you and smell you and he knows if he cries that he can alert you to feeding him for soothing purposes. If the baby is in his own room he will likely sleep more soundly and thus allowing you to sleep more soundly. He can't hear you or smell you if he wakes up and isn't really hungry he will self soothe himself back to sleep. If he is really hungry then he will cry and you have your monitor to let you know.

I know your husband is concerned and that is normal...you need to tell him that if he is that concerned that he can sleep in the baby's room for a few nights himself...

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K.D.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My daughter moved into her room at about 3 months, and she has ALWAYS been a tummy sleeper- I could never get her to sleep for more than 15 minutes on her back, and she got so irritable, but when I laid her down on her tummy, she slept for an hour or two at a time, easy. She's now 10 months old, and has slept on her tummy every one of those days for the last 7 months- and she's fine. Trust your baby's cluse- he's just about old enough to be past the SIDS fears, and as long as his neck muscles are strong, I wouldn't worry too much about it. My daughter used to worry me with the sticking-her-face-in-the-crib-matterss thing, but she always moved her face, so if he's been doing it for a while, I wouldn't worry- he's still breathing! ;-) As far as your husband goes- get him a sleeping bag and tell him have fun in the baby's room! LOL Seriously, though, tell him that if he's not comfortable trusting the baby's instincts, maybe he'd feel more comfortable sleeping in your son's room. If, without the interruptions from your husband, your baby sleeps fine in his crib in his room, then you are really lucky- and your husband could ruin that. If he's really that uncomfortable, they make this baby sensor/monitor that is like a mattress pad that goes under the baby and sets off an alarm when the baby stops breathing for longer than 5 seconds. It's kind of expensive (I think @ $100) but that is a small price to pay sometimes for piece of mind. But if you've already got your sone comfortable in his bed and his space, moving him back to your room might confuse him and make him uncomfortable in his crib and his room- and that will lead to problems later, when he's old enough to get OUT of bed and come to your room with the "mommy I'm scared"s.... good luck on whatever you decide!

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J.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Your husband needs to relax! Maybe get him a massage or something. Leave him in his own room. At six months you are almost out of the Sids stage. Make sure there are no bumpers in the crib and he will do fine. Put the monitor on your side of the bed. Babies move more than you realize. With the back and tummy thing, they all do this. There is no way to keep him on his back. Sleep positioners are only ment to be used when he was younger so do not use these. If everything is free and clear from the crib he will be fine. I knew a person whom let her daughter sleep in her room until she was 9 years old. Come on. Usualy at this age he will turn his head when he can not get air. They have the strength do do this. Good Luck! Make him stay in his room. And I am sorry, if your husband wakes him up, tell him he has to stay up with him.... otherwise tell him that you will listen and check on him when you think you should. Not fair to you at all! Hang in there.....Once he is used to it, things get better.

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H.D.

answers from Boise on

Hi A.,
Your story is close to my heart since we went through a similar situation. I moved my daughter to a bedroom across the house at 5 months old. We wanted to wait longer but she was getting too big for her bassinette. Anyway, we have a video baby monitor that has made all the difference for me. If we hear her, we can flip the picture on (the sound is on all the time) and I can see if she is okay. I suspect your hubby will calm down in time. Everyone has different fears about their baby and this just happens to be his. Just keep reminding him that in the long run you will all get better sleep and that means being a better parent all around. Also, even though it may be hard, you are teaching your son good sleep habits for life and that is sooooo important! So, don't go in there unless you absolutely have to! I know it's easy to say but just keep reminding yourself that good sleep=happiness! As for the rolling over...that always made me nervous too but if your little guy is strong and on track developmentally for his age you just have to trust that he will be okay. A video monitor really helps out for that. You can see where he is and if you absolutely have to go in there you can. Maybe your husband could talk to your pediatrician about his fears. I know that has helped us when we weren't sure about some things. If all else fails I know you can still buy those pillows that hold him in place, I think on his side. My sister used one for my nephew but I think they do not recommend them anymore but I have seen them at the store. Good luck to you and your husband. This is just one of those things you have to get through and life will slowly get more "normal"....if there is such a thing!

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M.B.

answers from Denver on

Give yourself a break! You need to take care of yourself, being exausted will not help that baby or your husband! The sooner you get thae baby out the better! This will just get harder and harder! It sounds like you might be worried about SIDS and I totally get that, I worries about that too! There are risk factors like cigareete smoke, and low birth weight. Assuming your baby is healthy try not to worry! He is fine! They need to be on their stmachs to develop coordination etc. They also need to learn to sooth themselves( and this will continue, it is a life skill!), if they are fed, dry etc, try the ferber mehods! Your husband sounds like a good father but moving the crib in your room is crazy! Maybe have him talk to the Pediatritian at your next appt. for some reassurance! You guys are just going to exaust yourselves waking at every peep! And besides, doesn't your husband want to be intimate with you again? Maybe you could use that as an incentive. You guys are good parents, try not to worry so much and enjoy the baby! And by the way, this is not good for the baby either, they need 12 hours of sleep a night, they will sleep much better on their own. When they see mom and dad they tend to wake more easily etc. and need to be soothed, not good!

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N.W.

answers from Denver on

Well to answer the first question our son was in his big crib by the time he was 8 weeks old... one when he was in my room I didn't sleep because I heard every movement, sneeze, cough and checked on him constantly. For my daughter she only slept in our room for the first 6 weeks. Your son is 6 months old if he can roll on to his belly that is when my doctor told me it was safe. At this point the majority of babies are also past the sleep apnia stage. If it was my husband I would tell him. If you are so worried you can sleep in his room with him and not to wake me up if he wakes up the baby. If he is willing to loose sleep over the inevitable (a child that grows up) then he can do it by himself. The monitor is there and your son is now old enough to push himself up and roll over. The longer he is in your room the tougher it will be down the road to get him to sleep in his own room and eventually his own bed.

Working mother of two beautiful children 21/2 yo boy and a 15m girl, married to the most wonderful father, husband and the family hero.

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S.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

If he is old enough to roll over on his tummy he is old enough to turn his head to breath when he needs to. Doctors freak parents out about this way too much! Put him to bed on his back, but he will sleep how he is most comfortable. My twins have slept on their stomachs from when they were first born. They never would sleep on their backs. Now my son rolls to his side and my daughter still sleeps on her tummy. They are 9 months and have never had problems being on their tummy.

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M.O.

answers from Denver on

I think that the video monitor is a really good idea. They can be really expensive (for a monitor) they run between $100-400. You could aslo consider a movement monitor which sounds an alarm if there is no movement for an unsafe amount of time. Those detect breathing and count that as movement, so they only go off if the baby stops breathing, but there is also a audio feature too.
http://www.toysrus.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=2256223
I also just wanted to say that SIDS deaths are low and dropping in the US. Especially among Caucasian babies. The woman who said that she knew or knew of 3 families whose kids died from SIDS, after 6mo. of age non the less is in the extreem minority. After 6 months the rate of SIDS deaths drop dramatically. Here are the SIDS stats to ease you and you DH mind.
http://www.sidscenter.org/Statistics.html

My 7 1/2 mo. old daughter did not sleep in out room for very long, maybe 10 weeks. She has been in her own room, in her own bed and sleeps well.

Although I would have loved to Co-sleep longer my DH can't sleep with our daughter in the room. If you son is sleeping in his own bed in your room, then I think it will be an easy transition to his own room.

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A.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

He is PLENTY old enough to be in his own room!! Tell your husband to just relax. My pediatrician says once they are old enough to roll over on their own, it is totally ok for them to sleep on their tummy. There really isn't anything you can do about it anyway, if he's good at rollng over, the sleep positioners won't be able to stop him.

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S.M.

answers from Casper on

This is such a controversial topic, it totally depends who you ask. How did they make it in one room cabins? There's pros and cons either way. My son is a year old and still sleeps in my room because we have a two bedroom apartment and my three year old is in the other room. Some days I wish he had his own room, but since he still wakes up at night to nurse it is kind of convenient to have him sleep with me.

I would bring the crib back in because I know when my husband wakes up my baby it ticks me off. Maybe that's because the last time he did it, it was on purpose because we were fighting and he wanted to do something mean to me. But either way it sucks to have baby's sleep disrupted.

I have my 1 year old sleeping in a baby rocking chair in our room because I can strap him in and he can't move and keep himself awake. If you really are concerned about breathing you could try that or a car seat. My first son slept in a car seat or in my bed for the first 9 months.

I would not personally sweat the breathing thing, but since your husband is so concerned it just sounds easier on you both to make adjustments so he is at ease.

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M.H.

answers from Boise on

After having my second I found that I overreacted on alot of things with my first. I believe this is what is happening. I didn't take my son out of our room until he was 9 mo., and I have regretted it ever since. He didn't sleep in our bed, he slept in his own. But he can not sleep unless he is near us. He may fall asleep in his bed, buthe always ends up on the floor by ours. We have struggled with him the whole time, he never sleeps in his room all night. (As a side note, this has had a deep negetive impact on the relationship I have with my husband.) He is almost 5 and we still can't get him to stay in his room. I took my daughter out of our room when she was 4 mo. and she doesn't have any problems sleeping in her room. In fact she prefers it that way. I see no problem with letting your kids in your room once in awhile, I think to make it a constant thing is doing more damage than good, unless of course you are still brestfeeding, then I think it is a need. I would keep him in his own room. There is nothing you can do to keep him from rolling over, and he will likely turn his head if he is having problem breathing. I would get a video monitor. Thisway you can still see and hear him, but you won't have to get out of bed unless you need to. Don't put too many blankets in his bed, and no stuffd animals, he isn't old enough to keep himself from suffocating on those. He will be fine. First time parents always get nervous about every transition. I still do with some of them. But the choice is yours, ot all kids end up like my son.

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J.L.

answers from Pocatello on

Six months is actually a really long time to wait to put the baby in a separate room. Also, the new consensus on having your baby sleep on their back is that if they are strong enough to roll over onto their stomach it is safe to leave them there. Just like adults, sometimes babies aren't in the optimal breathing position and they may breath louder or snore for a little bit. That is just fine. If your baby is really having trouble breathing he will adjust his head; at six months he definitely has the strength to do that. As far as your husband getting up with the baby and then waking him up, you need to put your foot down. If he is nervous, he needs to take the responsibility for it. He needs to do all of the checking and if he wakes the baby up he needs to comfort him. You need your sleep to be a good, safe mom. Remember that you slept while he was in your room so it's okay to sleep while he is in another room.

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K.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I understand your husband's concerns, but if he wakes the baby up, he should be putting him back to sleep.

As for the rolling over, our son did this and it freaked me out. Our doctor said that once a baby can roll over, he's likely to roll over or move his head if he's having trouble getting enough air and not to worry about it. Our son would roll onto his belly and sleep like that all night (he still does).

Have you considered a video monitor so your husband doesn't have to get up and go into his room, he can just look at the monitor and see if the baby is okay? I have no idea how expensive they are, but my neighbor has one and she loves that she can just look at the monitor screen and see her baby.

Oh, and we moved our son into his own room at 3-weeks and my daughter was in her own room from the day she got home from the hospital. It's really up to you how long your child sleeps in your room.

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C.B.

answers from Denver on

If your husband insists on waking your son, he should be to one to put him back to sleep! If he is so intent on listening to the monitor let him. He is the one looseing sleep. Has your son showed signs of SIDS? WE all roll when we sleep and maybe that is the most comfortable way for him to sleep.
C. B

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

Our ped told us that once a baby can roll over, they're usually going to wake up if they have problems breathing. Also, rather than moving him back in, since he's happy in his own room, why not get one of those movement monitors. They're sensitive enough to register breathing, so I hear you don't really get false alarms do to no movement. Babys 'R Us has them for a reasonable amount considering that you're both loosing sleep. I'd see if that worked before moving him back in. The older he is when you move him, the harder it will be for him.

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K.B.

answers from Provo on

Air circulation is something that is worried about with babies sleeping on their tummies. Put a box fan in the room, on during sleep, pointed away from the baby so that there is good circulation. Put your foot down with your husband. If he wakes the baby he puts him back to sleep. BUT if he keeps waking him he's going to totally mess up his schedule!!!

My babies both slept in our room only for the first 1-2 nights!! Keep a monitor and turn it up loud if you're/he's worried.

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A.P.

answers from Pocatello on

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies be in the same room with their parents for the first year. Since your husband seems intent on keeping the baby closer, I bet he'd be willing to take apart the crib and move the furniture for you, and perhaps you'll get better sleep then, too! :) As for feeling safe when he moves to his own room, the benefit will be that he is already used to his bed, so hopefully moving the bed out will still feel comfortable.
Sweet dreams! Amy

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

Okay, I have to jump in here, if it was the roles were reversed, no one would tell the mom she needs to relax a little, whether or not your husband is overreacting isn't really the point, the point is very simple, he has concerns and they don't appear to be over the top concerns, in about 6 months when your baby is a year old they will have lessoned and he won't have a problen with moving your son, wait and see. Room sharing and co-sleeping doesn't create needy dependant children, so long as your son is in his own bed at night, no matter where it is at, there should be no real issue with moving him to his own room later down the road. My concern with moving him to the other side of the house would be, hearing him, and I think monitors make it harder to sleep, cause every sound they make is magnafied, and your reaction time to him when he needs you.

As to the tummy, once they roll over on their own there is no stopping them, he will start to turn his head over as needed. Good luck and I hope you guys come to a solution so you ALL can get a goodnights rest.

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H.W.

answers from Denver on

In your husband's defense, my husband, too, WANTS our son in our room until he's two, because we've known three families (one firsthand, two secondhand) who lost kids to SIDS 4 months - 12 months old, and there is a less commonly known, but still possible type of SIDS for kids 12-24 months, and we've known one family who lost a 21 month old to this. My husband just wants our kiddo near so that we're there for any possibility. Since I'm still breastfeeding at 20 months, this is fine with me! :) You need to find what works for your family, but this perspective might help you find some perspective on your husband's preferences. He has a real concern for your son, and this should be acknowledged.

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P.H.

answers from Denver on

Here is a thought:

One of the *BEST* gifts I got at my baby shower was the Angelcare Movement Sensor with Sound Monitor (Babies 'R Us). It's the typical baby monitor that lets you listen to your baby... with an added bonus. If your baby does not breathe or move for 20 seconds, an alarm sounds. This has been priceless to me ~ I never worry about my baby when he sleeps on his side or tummy! The only time the alarm has sounded has been when my hubby or I forgot to turn of the sensor before picking baby up out of his crib :) It costs around $70 I believe ~ and should definitely put both you and your husband at ease!

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J.H.

answers from Billings on

Well, I may not have the answer that you want. My son is 21 months and is still in his own bed in our room. We are planning to move him soon, in a few weeks actually, to share a room with his sister. He has never been a good sleeper, which is mostly why he has stayed n our room so long--so he wouldn't wake his sister when he woke at night. Anyway, I don't see any problem with the baby staying in your room, especially because he is still so small. If your husband will sleep better, and you will sleep better, then move him back into your room. I liked having my kids in my room until they were at least one anyway, because I liked to be able to get to them quickly if needed. Also, as far as him not wanting to sleep anywhere besides your room in the future, I think as long as he has his own bed, it isn't a problem. In our old house, because it was so small, we shared a room with my son AND my daughter! When we moved into our current house, my daughter (she was 3 years old then) was THRILLED to have her own room! And she had shared with us since the day she was born. She has never once come into our room asking to sleep with us!

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R.M.

answers from Colorado Springs on

We never had our baby in our room. She was just across the hall where we could hear her. Both you and your son will sleep better when you're in seperate rooms.

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R.K.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I think you both need to relax.

Listen, even if your baby slept in your BED until he is three, he's not going to turn 19 thinking the ONLY place he can sleep is in your room.

There is no "should" or "right" in this regard. You have to judge the actual needs and appropriate actions for you're individual children based on individual merits.

Both, you and your husband are parents. His feelings, instincts, intuitions are just as keen and important as yours--it's so silly how women (not saying your are) deminish that and dismiss a father. Anyway, if he's not comfortable, perhaps he's tuning into something... Your son is very blessed to have such a concerned and committed daddy!

Babies move around, that's a fact of life. There is nothing you can do to prevent it. And, as harsh as this may sound, if something is meant to happen to your little guy, it will one way or another. So, your instinct to trust things will be ok, is also very beneficial to you and your son. Your little guy is blessed to have an insightful mommy. You can't protect him from everything and allowing him to live in experience is a good way to go.

Whether you choose to bag the crib and just put him in bed with you, you leave him in the port. crib, you bring the big crib into your room, you camp out in baby's room while he sleeps in his big crib down the hall, or you decide to hang from the ceilings...it's all fine.

You know, we've held close to the principle of if one parent says NO, the answer is NO...even if the YES person thinks the NO is utterly ridiculous and STUPID! (oh, and THAT has happened several time on both sides)

Just tune into your own rhythm as a couple, as parents, and make the best decision, the second best decision, the third best decision and work your way up the latter. And realized your top three may not be what your Mom, the Dr, the neighbor, your Father-in-law, the store keeper, or the bus driver may agree with, BUT this is YOUR baby, you're family, and YOU and your husband (PLEASE don't forget your husband)are the two people in this planet who get to receive full access to inspiration because your son is under YOUR stewardship, not ours.

It'll all be ok, you'll see.

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S.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I think you can keep your baby in your room as long as you need to. Our first was out around 5 months and our second about 8 months. The baby will have to be in his own room eventually and the older they are, the harder it will be. If your baby is rolling over on his own he is probably fine. Both of my boys were tummy sleepers from the start. My baby now will sometimes sleep face down. If he is uncomfortable he will move. Once they start moving on their own, i don't think there is much you can do. It is hard not to worry though. But you guys do need to get rest as well. I'm not sure how to get your husband to relax. But really, your baby is probably fine.

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K.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

have your husband talk to the pediatrician. my baby's doctor said we could move our boy out when he's two weeks old. we moved him out at three weeks. we went from 2 nights with the baby moniter, 2 weeks with out it and his and our door open, 2-3 months with his door shut and ours open, and now our doors shut, and he's almost 5 months old. as for rolling over, you're right. he will fix himself.

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L.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

When I raised my five children we were told to never put them to sleep on their backs. They all survived. (I bet your mom put you to sleep on your stomach.) I understand the link with SIDS and the change in attitude, but once your baby is rolling over he will pick the most comfortable position to sleep in and there isn't much you can do to control it. Have Dad sleep on the floor in his room or buy a monitor. But most of all relax and enjoy your baby!

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