How Do You Stop Bedwetting?

Updated on November 02, 2008
T.E. asks from Murfreesboro, TN
26 answers

My daughter recently turned 8 and is still wetting the bed. We have to wake her up at night to use the bathroom otherwise she usually will wet the bed. Everyone once in a while she will get up by herself. We've tried lots of things but I was wondering if there was something that any of you have done that worked well.

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much to everyone who responded. Reading your responses have relieved a lot of stress and frustration. I thank you on behalf of my daughter and my self.

We have decided to continue to allow her pediatrician to monitor her to make sure that there are no physical issues while we also try a few techniques suggested to help her stay dry at night.

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A.T.

answers from Wilmington on

I just came across this article in the newspaper today. Go to the website and see what Mr. Dad has to say at http://www.mrdad.com/ask/2008/10/07/overcoming-bedwetting/

Hope this helps!

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J.W.

answers from Lexington on

We used an alarm that went off at the first wetness. By the end of one week she never wet the bed again. There was a program that went with it with stars and such, but really did not need it. She really, badly, wanted to get out of needing pull-ups at night.

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S.B.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, This is such a tough situation, I know...we had the same thing with our 6 year old. I found a ton of information on the internet and used a company to help with the bedwetting issue(bedwettingsolution.com). However you don't need to use a company, just know the facts. Pediatricians and physicians don't know that much about the situation and will tell you that "she'll grow out of it" Here is a summary of what we discovered and how we dealt with it. She is now dry and sooo happy with herself. Bedwetting is genetic and it is a sleepdisorder. i know , you're thinking, What??? But these childremn are deep sleepers that don't wake up in the night to relieve themselves. another component is that the bladder sends a signal to the brain that the sphincter (muscle that closes the bladder off) needs to close and hold the urine in. Their brain is in such a deep sleep that it doesn't respond to the message and thus they wet the bed. It is kind of like a cycle. At night the bladder needs to get full in order to stretch it out and make the bladder able to hold more urine even by day, but these kids don't ever get such a full bladder and such have a tendency to have a smaller bladder and therfore urinate more frequently by day too.
To illustrate, my daughter would fall asleep within 5 minutes most nights and sleep so soundly that I could move her bed and she wouldn't wake up. She often woke up in the morning ina grumpy mood as if she didn't get enough sleep. (The deep sleep that they fall into is not a good sleep and leaves them sleep deprived. They do not get enough oxygen when they're in this state) She often had dark circles under her eyes, although she was in bed for 12 hours. It was also tough to wake her in the mornings. They talk about needing to change the sleep cycles to change the bedwetting and since we have done this with her, she has changed her sleep habits and wakes up refreshed in the mornings. As a genetic compnonent, her uncle also had the same things and wt the bed until he was10 years old. Many of these children also sleep walk, talk in their sleep and have nightmares. My daughter has had whole conversations in her sleep and it has appeared as if she was awake during them and the next morning she doesn't know a thing.
So that is some background What to know is that you shouldn't wake her up. She should drink plenty of water especially before bedtime (I know it seems weird, but it is to train the brain)
We used an alarm to wake her up,if she wet the bed. We did exercise for her bladder and "holding" exercises during the day to practise the sphincter muscle, she drank a whole glass of water and continues to , before going to sleep. ewe had to cut out all dairy for 3 hours befroe bedtime.
This is getting lenthy, but I do still have my inof and will share it with you if you like. It didn't take long and she was dry and remains so. It is importanat to let her know that she isn't doing this herself, that it is involuntary.
I started out by using the alarm and keeping a chart of when she wet and how big the spot was. She drank a whole glass of water before going to bed. She went to bed at a decent time. At least by 8pm. Everytime she wet the bed, she would be made to get up, go to the bathroom and try to empty her bladder further. Sometime these kids are still asleep and the key is to wkae them up fully ( it might appear that she is awake, but isn't really) I have "woken" my daughter up to use the toilet and she is like a "wet noodle" just kind of drapes off the toilet. the just after we "use" the toielt, which was usually unsuccessful, she would wet the bed. the next morning sahe wouldn't recall being woken up. So as partof the program you have to make sure she is totally awake, by wiping her face with wet washcloth or any other method. Eventually her bladder starts to send the signal to her brain to hold the urnie and when the bladder is full she gets the message to wake up and void. We also cut out dairy 3 hours before bedtime, only at first. Then during the day we did kegal exercises which I taught her on the toilet, showing her to start to void and then stop and hold and once she got the hang opf it she could do kegals at differne t times in the day. Later we would let her drink lot of water and then try hold her urine as long as she could stand it, during the day ...to help with stretching her bladder an to trigger to the signal her bladder should send to her brain.

If you need any mkore information or simply to talk, please contact me. I know how desparate a person can feel to help your child with this and how isolated you feel, since nobody talks about it.

ADDED: I've just read the other responses and I agree you need to rule out a medical reason, but most of the time there isn't a medical reason. One thing I know for sure is that it had something to do with her sleep. She had all the symptoms and in talking to an adult bedwetter who was also told she would outgrow the bedwetting, she did outgrow that but the sleepdisorder continues and she told me she wakes up over tired and is tired no matter how much she sleeps. I didn't use only an alarm and it was the way we used the alarm that made the difference as well as the adjunctive "treatments" she hasn't had another wetting problem and it is a year now.

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D.J.

answers from Greensboro on

It really just depends on the child. My husband and I laugh because if our kids (2 and 4) are anything like mom and dad, they'll be in high school before they stop wetting the bed! Seriously, I was 12 when I finally stopped, my husband was 11... My parents were very harsh with me, and it's something that, although I have a great relationship w/ my parents, I ALWAYS think they handled it wrong and really put a lot of unnecessary pressure on me. I HATED wetting the bed, but some kids just develop their bladders much slower, I could not help it and neither can your daughter. I know it's not fun AT ALL to deal with FOR ANYONE in the house, but if you keep calm and positive, in time it will stop.
A nurse I know puts the blue leak papers down on the mattress, then a sheet, then MORE blue leak catchers and then ANOTHER sheet and continues to make layers so her daughter can wake up in the middle of the night after an accident, remove the top layer (there's a laundry basket and trash can close by) and be back in bed in no time. good luck, for her sake, please remain patient, it will get better :)

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V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

Take comfort in the fact that it kind of seems as if MOST children who have extended bedwetting are of above average intelligence, (doesn't it?). I see you've gotten lots of informative responses (and the only one I disagreed with was the one who 'disagreed' with everyone else! LOL). I hope you've been helped! It all boils down to -- once you find out the source of the abberation, deciding which tactic(s) is (are) to your own liking, and following through, I guess. A lot depends on personal opinion with any childrearing issue (even among DOCTORS!!).

Be patient.
Keep positive.
Without turning it into 'punishment', make the child as responsible as possible for the work required regarding the wet bed (I really liked the 'layered' bedding idea!)

And God bless!

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M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

Chiropractic treatment helped our son. We tried many different things also. Look for a good chiropractor that spends alot of time with you. Muscle therapy with adjustments.

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P.B.

answers from Raleigh on

Be sure no matter what you do to help her you preserve her self esteem.

Let her know it is biological & she will out grow it sooner or later. It is not her fault and she has nothing to feel bad about.

:) P

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T.J.

answers from Nashville on

In my families experience and my personal research, "questions & answers" most kids stop between 8 to 10 yrs. It was explained to me that most kids who wet had one or both parents who did and usually will stop around the same age. A lot of times the bladder muscles just need time to strengthen. My parents took me to the doctor and he prescribed a placebo Rx and I thought it was working so it did for me and when my child had the same problem I took him to a urologist and he prescribed a real Rx and with in a 3 month period he was done and no more wetting. So I can't really give you a definite solution but time and growth, and if you feel like your family needs help I suggest you go see a peds urologist because there are meds out there to help. Good luck

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M.G.

answers from Parkersburg on

Have you had her in for a check up with her Peditrician? She could be going through a growing spurt, and her body is growing faster than her bladder. Or, she may be a very sound sleeper. My daughter had problems with bed wetting into the later years, but her problem was due to a seizure disorder. She is almost 12, and still has occasions where it happens. It is not realy a big deal now. She understands that there is nothing that she can do about it. I would start with a check up, and go from there. Good luck, and please do not take it that there is a physical "abnormality" with your daughter. It realy is a common situation.

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K.A.

answers from Nashville on

Dear T.,

I tried everything. My daugher wet the bed from birth to five years old. She started having bladder infections and I took her to a urologist. I got the answer for my daughter. He checked and she had a bladder infection that had backed up to her kidneys. He treated her and afterwards she still wet the bed. He told me that in some kids, both male and female, that their pituitary gland isn't maturing quite as fast as they are and that when we sleep, our pituitary tells our kidneys not to make urine. When we wake, the kidneys work fine. Her pituitary wasn't telling her kidneys to stop making urine during sleep. He said when she reached puberty, around ll for her and around 13 for boys, that the pituitary gland would catch up. I had my doubts but was willing to try anything. He gave us some nose spray. I thought, "nose spray?" It was DDAVP Nose Spray. Look it up on the web. I would spray her nose once on each side at bedtime and her bed was dry the next morning. Again, and again, she was dry. If we accidently missed a dose, she would wet the bed, so she would remind me to spray her nose. She started spending the night with friends and as long as she took her nose spray she was fine. When she turned 11 the doctor took her off of the spray. She didn't start her period until 13, so I'm guessing the pituitary caught up around ll. We had to go to the urologiest once in a while, but that was all. It was a God send. She never wet the bed again, except once when she was 23 years old. She was so embaressed and she was pregnant at the time. The doctor checked and she had a bladder infection. She's now 25 and doing great.

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S.B.

answers from Wheeling on

I had the same problem as a child! It went on until my mom took me into figure the problem out and it was allergies mainly milk but also cat, cow, horse hair. As soon as I cut milk almost completely out of my diet it quit! So maybe have her allergies checked!

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S.D.

answers from Nashville on

T.,
When you take your child to the pediatrician for a well child appointment talk to your doctor and make sure there is nothing medically wrong with your daughter. If there is nothing medically wrong I would put a plastic sheet on the bed and put her pajamas and sheets in the washer first thing in the morning so she is not embarassed by it. Give her a bath/shower in the morning instead of the evening before.

I had a brother who wet the bed until he was in high school. The pediatrician said that he was just a deep sleeper. I would not suggest waking a sleeping child. You don't want to wake your child up every night and disrupt her normal sleep patterns. I would not limit her fluid intake in the evening because she may get dehydrated.

I would treat it like a normal part of your day so that she does not feel any shame about wetting the bed. My mother's fear was that my brother would go to college wetting the bed, but that did not happen. My brother eventually outgrew it. Today he is a brilliant surgeon. So wetting the bed as a kid did not negatively affect him in any way. I think how my mom reacted to it made it not negatively affect him. She treated him like it was no big deal and told him that his body would eventually naturally wake him up when he had to go to the bathroom and sure enough eventually it did. Good luck with your daughter!
S.

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C.W.

answers from Nashville on

With my six year old, I just limit her liquid intake. She can't have anything to drink 1 1/2 hours before her bedtime. And she must use the bathroom before she goes to bed. She will usually wake up to go to the bathroom, but she waits too long and leaks a little in her panties/pjs.

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B.C.

answers from Nashville on

There may not be an answer to this question. Some children just wet the bed even on to adulthood. At 8 she should not normally be wetting the bed but sometimes it just happens. Have you had her to doctors and what is their take? Is she thriving in the homeschool? Sometimes the relaxed atmosphere of not having set times to do things such as going to school at a specifice time and taking breaks at a specific time may cause her not to go as often during the day. Good Luck!

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C.O.

answers from Greensboro on

A bedwetting alarm by Malem helped my son tremendously. I got it at thebedwettingstore.com. It will wake up everyone, (sometimes everyone but the bedwetter), but eventually it will wake up your daughter and she will learn to wake up to use the bathroom. My son is almost 11 and still has the occasional accident, but the alarm helped him to get up most of the time. Before the alarm he was wetting the bed every night, sometimes more than once, and even the Goodnights were getting soaked through. Good luck!

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E.M.

answers from Raleigh on

I have a son who is eight also, he does the same thing I stop fluids at a certian point, I wake him up I feel like I have tried everything. It is starting to even affect him he can't go to sleep over ect.... So I guess I am asking you if you find anything out could you let me know also please I would really like to help him with this problem.

Thanks
E.

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A.C.

answers from Wilmington on

Hi T.,
This is not a problem that we've experienced in our home, however there was a Mamasource thread a couple of weeks ago on bedwetting resolution. Check it out:
http://www.mamasource.com/request/15055633105501028353?de...
Good luck!

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J.D.

answers from Raleigh on

Try an enuresis alarm. You can research them at thebedwettingstore.com. We just started my six year old on it (2 nights now) and he is really excited. Unlike the medicine, which decreases urine production while they take it, the alarm retrains the brain to wake up when the bladder is full. I have been reading the book that I got with it (7 steps to nighttime dryness) and it has been encouraging. With my son he has only had 2 nights of dryness in his life because he is such a heavy sleeper. He wakes up with the alarm. Since your daughter seems to only need to go once in the night, I think it will work quickly for her. The first night my son woke up 4 times to urinate and change his underwear. Also the book says to discuss any family members stories about bedwetting since they are now finding out that it is genetic. The web site is very helpful at answering questions and you can buy the book without getting an alarm. The book gives several options with their pros and cons. It is geared to make you want to buy the alarm though.

Good Luck!!

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K.S.

answers from Hickory on

Go to a child clinical psychologist and ask for behavioral treatment using the "bell and pad" or "alarm" method. You can buy these kinds of things elsewhere, but like any tool, you need to know how to use them properly (with guidance) to get the best benefit from them.

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A.M.

answers from Asheville on

Please call your pediatrician. This is a condition called enuresis and it is not her fault and she has no control over it. Call your doctor so that you can be well informed about the condition and discuss realistic expectations regarding its resolution. Good luck

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L.B.

answers from Greensboro on

Your daughter may be sensitive to artificial colors and preservatives. Check out www.feingold.org. Feingold is a 30yr old non-profit organization whose purpose is to inform the public about petroleum-based artificial ingredients. These harmful additives cause ADD, ADHD, OCD, and many other emotional and physical side effects including ENURISES (Bedwetting). Good luck.

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T.B.

answers from Nashville on

Dear T., Both my kids wore pull-ups until they were 8 and 6 until I began using the alarm device. It has a battery and a device that is pinned in the underwear between the fabric. At the first drop of urine, it sets off the alarm and wakes up the child. Both my kids were dry in less than two weeks and have never had a problem since. Training their brain to recognize the need to empty their bladder in the toilet is much more appealing to me than giving them a medicine that has to go in the bloodstream and then to the brain. Using this device will take some effort especially if your kids get grumpy when woken, but well worth your persistence.

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B.R.

answers from Raleigh on

My DS just turned 5 and still wears a pull-up type diaper at night. I asked the ped about it sometime back, and he said that his son was 8 and was just getting out of the pull-ups at night. I asked about it again at his 5-year well visit a couple of weeks ago, and he said to just let him grow out of it. He is a heavy sleeper and just doesn't get the signal.

HTH,
B. (another homeschooling mom)

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C.R.

answers from Knoxville on

My children were younger but we cut off the liqueds about two and a half to three hours before bedtime. This worked well with my children. Hope this helps.

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S.M.

answers from Greensboro on

Try a Wet Stop alarm. A small alarm clips to the nightgown on one end and a sensor to the underwear at the other. The second it senses moisture, the alarm goes off, waking the child up. It trains kids to be conscious of the sensation of needing to pee and waking up enough to go do it in the bathroom. Just Google bedwetting or Wetstop to find it. Best wishes!

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S.H.

answers from Fayetteville on

My daughter wet the bed until she was 11 years old. We tried everything under the sun and nothing worked. The doctor said she it was due to REM( rapid eye movement) simply put she was to deep of a sleeper. We bought the large pull-up and used them at night. She just had to grow out of it.

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