How Do You Get Your Baby to Sleep at Night Within a Reasonable Amount of Time?

Good morning! Well, hate to be the one with the negative...but, I have a 14 month old that I am still rocking to sleep. It takes a good 20-30 minutes to get her to sleep. If she is not SOUND asleep in my arms for at least 15 minutes, she wakes up and is ready to play if I put her in her bed. The sleeping through the night just started 2 weeks ago when I switched her to whole milk (organic). She finally sleeps all night, with an occassional wake up in the middle, but not often. I tried the cry it out method too late also, and now I know that its just going to take some time and she will eventually work through this. Being the mother of 2 older children as well, you'd think I would have known, but I just wanted to rock this baby, and now I AM STILL ROCKING! lolol Its all good though, because they grow up faster than you realize and you will look back at this time as being very precious! Good luck to you!

I have a 7 month old son and am also a first time mommy! I have struggled with the same thing and I have found that it takes a tremendous amount of patience. I also breast fed and made it to my goal of six months and finally got him on formula just two days ago and he is a few days shy of 7 months. It took almost a month of wheening him. I found that once I got him on formula that it did make a difference with his sleeping because my son was waking up several times each night wanting to nurse. I also had to have a friend come stay with me for several nights so that way he got use to the idea that mommy was not going to come in each night to nurse him. She would get up with him because I could not let him cry. It is such a personal thing and my motto is whatever works best for you and your family to get you thru. She actually ended up giving him a pacifier because he was wanting to suckle and that is what finally broke him from breast feeding. Get this when he was born he would not take a pacifier even from my peditritian and was colicky up to 6 months this was the first time he took the pacifier. I had just given up but my friend kept trying it. My peditritian actually told me that he was a difficult baby and they all have their own personalities. Anyways I use to do the same thing nurse and then rock him and did the same routine, but now for the past few weeks I have been giving him the bottle of formula. Cuddle for a few minutes with the pacifier in his mouth turn out the lights and put him in his bed while he is still awake but drowsy and he ends up falling asleep on his own. I will also tell you that this was a baby that in the beginning it took me hours of rocking and patting to get him to go to sleep while he was screeming in my ear. Also one more tip make sure that if you do go into the room when she is awake. Don't make eye contact with her and try not to do anything that will stimulate her. Don't turn on any lights and whatever you do don't talk to her. Hang in there. If me and my son can do it. I know that you and your daughter can do it. Also, check with your doctor but at his 6 month check up. I was told that since my son was on solids that he was getting enough food during the day that he did not need to eat at night. Just check with your docotor to make sure. Good luck!!

when babies are getting their teeth, everything takes more time. my 2 cents: let her nurse as long as she wants, maybe even take her to bed with you. find a Dr Sears book or go to http://www.askdrsears.com/ and search there for answers on everything!!
also try chamomile teething pills (by Hylands, for example). those help calm baby down.

also child-led weaning is much less traumatic. you do not have to stop nursing because an age is reached. my dd is 24+ months and is still nursing!

contact La Leche League in your area or give a leader a call! they have answers!

we had to do the "cry-it-out" method with my first daughter at 6 months and then again at 9 months. with the teeth and learning how to do more things - like standing- we got off routine and that was the only way - and easiest way - we found to get her back to 'normal'....she was a great sleeper, figured out her own schedule by 3 months...but like i said, got off and the cry it out really worked for her! she slept, and still sleeps 7 to 7. i think you should try the cry it out thing if you've done it before and know it works.

good luck!

i needed to add this because of some of the comments from before. i believe, also, that there are many different ways to get your baby to sleep (my second daughter took almost a year to get on a sleep schedule - NOT FUN!! and no, i wasn't doing the cry-it-out for that long - i tried ALL of the methods;) but, my point is, that letting your baby cry it out does not make you a bad mother...it makes you a sane and happy mother for the rest of the next day so you can shower them with love - without being cranky because you are tired!! i think you do need to do the best thing for you, because if you are a happier person - you will be a better mother, and that will be the most important thing for your daughter in the end.

Get your hands on the book "Good Night Sleep Tight". It sounds similar to the one that the other L. on here told you. This book was a HUGE help to me, and it's sort of a happy medium between letting your child cry it out and at the same time not leaving her alone. It's about training them to put themselves to sleep. It's the only way I was able to get my munchkins into a routine. They will backtrack occasionally but let me tell you, if it wasnt for this book, I'd still be having miserable nights. If you dont want to purchase the book, you can poke around online and get the general idea about it, but it's really a great book and gives a lot of good information about babies. I really, really highly recommend it...this lady ought to give me proceeds from the sales because I recommend it to everyone! Ha!Ha!

She is at an age where she is experiencing object permanence ( the ability to know and remember whether or not something is present irregardless of the ability to see it), hence seperation anxiety. Always remember that the start of a habit takes place the first time that a child recieves the desired outcome from the parent...make sure that you only respond with a response you are willing to provide each and every time. Breathe as deeply and slowly as possible. Try patting her rhythmically to the beating of a heart. Place your face close to hers and breathe hot air onto her forehead just above her eyes, as you do this let out a breathy hum. When you lay her down, just place your previous night shirt near her face where she can smell your scent. Try waiting until her entire body is completely limp, and her nerves have long finished twitching before lying her down...she should be breathing deeply, and remember to place your mind at a state of ease and peace, as she can sense your emotions through your anatomical responses. If you are impatient she can sense it and she will recieve bio-chemicals that will further stimulate her to be awake. I also believe that a child will never starve themself, so if she is hungry then she should not be denied food. Sounds like you're doing a good job! Good luck and God Bless you and yours!

For my first child, I read and followed the suggestions from the book, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution", by Elizabeth Pantley.

It was very informative and helpful, but required some work on my part, like keeping a nap and routine journal. With only one child at the time, I had the time to do it, and it helped tremendously. It also helped me feel better about my decision not to listen to the doctor and let him "cry himself to sleep even if it takes hours- he'll learn!"

My 9-month-old daughter now does not require much sleep! She only naps for less than 2 hours during the day and she stays up at night until 11pm on most nights! My son, at this age, was in bed by 7pm. I don't try to control her or "put her on a tight schedule", I just let her be and it's working fine. She plays happily and crawls around the living room while I'm getting some of my paper work done and talking to her. Why fight it? She just doesn't need as much sleep as other babies.

Hope this helps!

Hi there,

This is totally the norm! And I agree with Billie Jo S on this one... Crying it out is not a good idea for your baby's well-being, and all the "might be" problems are not possible to figure out sometimes. It's just a matter of time before your little one will be able to communicate her needs and by then you can communicate to her about night time. I would recommend learning baby signs to speed up the communication.

For the teething, you might also try Hyland's teething tablets. They work very well and don't impact the system like Tylenol can. I get them at Publix but I know they are at CVS/Walgreens too. Good luck!

she will go through a couple phases like this during the next two years. My son would and we did just what you are doing even though it would take a long time. Then a couple weeks later, it would stop. I don't think you need anything drastic, just time and patience! If things are still like this for two more weeks, than you will need to try something else. At that age, my son would never just lay down and sleep. He is now 2.5 and is an absolute sleep angel!

There are people who believe in both ends of the spectrum-- either cry-it-out or rock her for as long as she needs it, so I know a lot of moms may disagree, but if you rock her to sleep, you will be rocking her to sleep not just for a few more months but possibly for a couple of years! I know it's difficult to listen to your baby cry, but the longer you continue to rock her to sleep, the harder it will be to break her of the "need" for it. You do NOT need to make her "cry it out". The method described in the book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" are basically that you need to rock her until she is sleepy, then put her in her crib while she is still awake. Expect her to cry- that's OK. Lay her back down and gently tell her it's time for sleep. She will continue to cry and sit up. Lay her back down. you may need to do this dozens and dozens of times in a row (for my son, it was only 30 times the first night-- your daughter is a bit older so it may take longer). If you give in and pick her up, you are not doing her any favors. If you give in, the only thing you're teaching her is that you have a breaking point and all she has to do is stick it out and you will give in eventually. If you have the patience to stick it out (even if you have to keep laying her down 100 times in a row!!) then eventually she will literally get too tired to continue to fight and she will fall asleep. You don't even need to leave the room if you don't want to until she is asleep. The next night, she will test you and try it again. It should take less time, but may still take a couple dozen times of laying her back down. Each night it should take less and less time and within a week or less you should be able to have a new routine for her that she will get it that you will only rock her for a couple of minutes and she'll go down without crying.

Have you read No Cry Sleep Solution? It's a good book.
My son went through a phase of not sleeping.
When my son turned 10months old we stopped rocking him and picking him up at night. We would rub his back and say "shh. go back to sleep" but not pick him up. It took a long week in a half but it worked. Also, is your daughter walking? I remember when my son would go through milestones like crawling,pulling up and learning to walk he would wake up often. I guess he wanted to play more than sleep.

Hello B.,

I am a mother of 3. I do understand what you are going through.

Everything is fine.

She might not be able to sleep well because her teeth hurt. She might be going through a growth spurt.
She might just miss mommy holding her and loving her.

There is going to be a lot of MIGHT BE"S.
It might be this or it might be that.
It is ok, go with the flow MOMMY, enjoy her while you can.
They grow up so fast and you will never get this time back with her.

Rest with her when she sleeps and play with her when she wants to play and hold her all you can.

Give her baby Tylenol for the pain with her teeth.
Buy some of those toys for her to chew on.

You are doing a great job mommy, keep up the good work.

Here is a great book that might help you.
WHAT TO EXPECT THE FIRST YEAR. (This book is great)
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=2234879
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and then soon you might want to get this one.
WHAT TO EXPECT THE TODDLER YEARS. (This book is also great)
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=224610
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I wish you and daddy and your princess the best and God Bless you all.

From one mother to another.

P.S. Rock her to sleep, or put her in your bed and lay down next to her and rub her back that will help as well. Sing or humm to her a song. Tell her how much you love her and that you will forever and ever.

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN LETTING A BABY CRY IT OUT! If you were her, what would you want? Would you want to feel alone and sad or would you want mommy or daddy to hold you and make you feel loved and wanted and warm and happy?

Think about it.

Children are a gift from GOD.

Hi B.,

Your daughter sounds a lot like my God-daughter a few months ago. If she doesn't want to take a nap, don't make her, then she will be sleepy when it's time for her to go to bed. If she does want to take a nap in the afternoon, then let her.

When my girls were that age, I would place them in their crib and turn off the lights and close the door. This is the way they knew it was time for bed. Some people say they don't like to leave their kids in a dark room by themselves but this method worked wonderful for my girls. Now, they are 8 and 6yo and they want the room door closed and the lights off when going to bed. I only leave a night light in their room now because my youngest gets up to go to the bathroom sometimes.

As long as you don't have anything that she can grab onto to make her crib come tumbling down and she isn't at the point of being able to climb over the railing...she is safe. Also once she has fallen asleep good and you take her into the room, turn the light off. A dark room is calming and it may keep her sleep.

Just my 2 cents!
V.

You may not see other teeth causing a disturbance but be assured they are right behind the 1st one growing through the gums. It does seem easy when they're very small, doesn't it! Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting. You'll sleep again eventually.