How Do I Get Him to Stop Geting Out of His Car Seat?

Updated on November 10, 2009
S.S. asks from Papillion, NE
14 answers

My son is very strong willed & does not like to sit in his car seat. He gets out of it while I am driving everytime we go somewhere. Any ideas on how to get him to stop?

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So What Happened?

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts & ideas. I should have noted in my request that my son is absolutely properly buckled in. He unbuckles himself & several times has even reached down & unbuckled the seatbelt itself that straps down the carseat (he is a 3 year old Houdini) and everytime he unbuckles I pull over & buckle him right back in. I am going to buy the Britax carseat that was suggested by Jess S & the Angel Guard from the link that Char K posted. Hopefully those work. Thanks again :)

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D.G.

answers from Lincoln on

When my daughter did that, I bought diaper pins and washcloths(a set for my car and a set for Grandmas) to cover the buckles and saftey pinned it over. It made her VERY mad but very safe!

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S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I hope I don't sound too "strict" on this subject, but I am funny about car seats :) I had my boys do this on several occasions and every time, I turned straight around back to the driveway and took them back in the house with the car seat. I put the car seat in the corner of the living room and they had to do a time out buckled in the car seat (1 min per year of age). It was a HUGE pain and I had to plan an extra 1/2 hour anytime we went anywhere for awhile in case we had to turn around. With one of the boys, it took longer for him to "get it" so before we would even leave the house, he had to show me that he could sit in the car seat in the living room like a good boy before we could leave. We also had the rule for a long time that a kid in a car seat could NEVER unbuckle themselves, even if it was time to get out of the car - an adult always had to do it. This stopped the unbuckling as we were pulling into the driveway before the car was stopped (another pet peeve of mine).

Car seat safety can turn into a power struggle, especially since it doesn't take long for our little ones to find out that it really freaks us moms out out when they get out of it when a vehicle is moving.

I hope this doesn't sound too harsh :) Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

S.,

What kind of car seat do you have? We have all 3 of our kids in the Britax, and there is no way they could undo the buckles (at least I can't imagine them doing it). The chest buckle is hard for me to even undo, and the lower one requires a pretty hard pressure. Maybe you need to invest in one he can't undo?

We recently bought the Britax that is good to 100 lbs for my four year old. My husband thought I was being ridiculous, but I don't want him in a booster than he could easily unbuckle to prevent the problem you are having.

Good luck!
Jessica

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yank the harness strap tight. Actually it should be tight enough that you can't pinch any slack.

If he is behaving like this he is nowhere ready for a booster seat anytime soon just letting you know.

Pull the car over and discipline...hmmm my kids would get a spanking but whatever you do let him know your serious. This is as serious as a child running out into a parking lot.

Car Crashes are the #1 reason for kids dying, more than cancer, or any other thing.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Is it a booster seat that is using your vehicles seat belt to fasten him in? If so, there are products available to prevent kids from unlocking them. Here are a couple I found, but I'm sure there are more. http://www.buckleboss.com/ http://www.angelguardbuynow.com/?cid=632988

Good luck!

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N.V.

answers from Green Bay on

Duct tape and lots of it!!!!! ;) No seriously, some people are saying they are finding it hard to believe he could do this. NO WAY, whoever says that must not have a boy! My son can undo the top, he's 3 and he's been able to for awhile. He can almost undo the bottom but not yet. I don't know the answer other than consequences. My son responded to that i.e. if you don't stop doing that, then you will not play with your trucks when we get home. Something like that.

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

Time has changed a lot since my kids were small and the car seats seem so much safer. If he is crawling out of the seat, he isn't buckled in correctly. If he is unbuckling I would be careful doing anything that ties him in like the zip ties idea. In case of going in the water, it could mean the difference of drowning or not...especially if you have to find clippers to cut the ties.

One thing I did when my kids would unbuckle was slam on the brakes hard enough to throw them forward off the seat but not hurt them. Watch to see that no cars are following to close. I would tell them that in case of an accident they would be thrown so fast and so hard they could go right through the front window. Then I would pull over and buckle them back in or when they were old enough, insist they buckle themselves back in.

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L.Z.

answers from Iowa City on

All 3 of my boys started to undo the top buckle on a 5-point harness at 2 or earlier - I couldn't find a buckle they couldn't open. We keep a bag of 6-8" zip ties in the car and a pair of snipe. After buckling them in, we add a zip-tie just above the chest buckle. It's been a fast solution for us -- I do worry that in a real emergency it would add time to get them out (finding the snips, and the extra cu before we can undo the carseat straps) but nothing else kept the boys in.

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L.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

There's a buckle that you can get at Burlington Coat Factory that my kids could never unbuckle like other ones and its only a couple bucks. You had to push hard and pull at same time. I had troubles getting it sometimes

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L.A.

answers from Lincoln on

I had problems with my daughter doing the same thing when she was 3 years old. It just so happened that a friend was driving our car and was stopped at railroad tracks in dense fog and was rear-ended at 55 mph. Everyone recovered, but I took my daughter to see our totaled car and explained to her what would have happened to her if she was not in her seat belt and would have been in the back seat at the time. I told her you never know when an accident will happen, that's why they call them accidents. She is 12 now and has never forgot it and she ALWAYS remembers to buckle her seat belt! Consider taking your son to a body shop or salvage yard and show him a wrecked vehicle.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I don't know how realistic this is for you in your home situation but I would tell him that if he won't stay in the car seat he has to stay home. Talk to a friend or trusted neighbor and explain the situation, ask if they would watch him for you. I would make the first couple of trips short ones. Go on quick ones and back home in about an hour or two. If you can take your daughter with you and stop and get a treat, ice cream etc. Tell him if you would stay in the car seat you could go too and they have some ice cream too. But since you won't stay in the car seat you don't get any. I know this sounds harsh but his safety is at stake here. Once you feel you can take him in the car again if he gets out of his seat take him right back home. He's is old enough and smart enough to get it.

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S.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

Padlock him in! Until he knows that he may never, never get out of his carseat without permission, and especially not when you are driving, you need to do whatever you need to do to keep him in it.

You can tell him what you are going to do and why, and you should expect some screaming and fighting - but that's tough. Tell him that he may make a choice - he may either choose to sit nicely in his carseat and stay in it, or he may choose to be padlocked in. End of discussion. Then, follow through. If he chooses to sit nicely, fabulous. But, if he gets out of his seat, then you pull over, stay calm and disconnected throughout the ensuing fight, and padlock him back in.
He'll figure it out pretty quickly.

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

this is a discipline issue, AND a safety issue. At 3, he knows better, and you should be able to stop the car, put him back in his car seat, and explain to him that being out of his car seat is dangerous, and in a crash he will be thrown out of the car if he's not strapped in right.

Be harsh with him, be graphic, get through to him.

The harness should be snug on him, you shouldn't be able to pinch any slack in it AT ALL. The harness should be at or above his shoulders for forward facing, and the chest buckle should be level with his armpits. Doing all htese things will help prevent him from getting out of hte car seat. IF hte harness is too loose, he can climb out no problem, imagine how fast he would fly out in a crash. also, if he's clming out of his seat, he is nowhere near mature enough for a booster with the adult belt only, keep him in a 5pt harness.

If he were younger I would suggest a few more things, but honestly at 3, he needs the discipline side of it.

And if all else fails, when you see him climb out of his seat, pull onto a small side road and hit the brakes. Not enough to throw him around of course, but enough to knock him off his feet or to fall over. then stop, put him back in his car seat ,and explain to him again what can happen. We had to do this with our oldest at 3... he never did it again. We were on our road in the country and I just tapped the brakes, he hit the passenger seat, I stopped and put him back in his seat and it wa the end of it.

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

hmm. i dont know a lot of details here, but i have seen a large percentage of children in car seats that are not properly buckled !!
i highy doubt that a 3 year old could unbuckle his car seat on his own, so im assuming that he is crawling out of the straps.

the harness that buckles in the front should be at armpit level. you should ONLY be able to fit 2 fingers inbetween your son's chest and the seat belt. you should NOT be able to fit more than 2 fingers, and you should NOT be able to pull the seat belt away from his body. think of what would happen in an accident; your sons body is supposed to be held in that seat by the seat belt, with the harness point down at his stomach, he would fly right out of the seat headfirst. even with the harness properly positioned, if its too loose, he isnt safely contained in the seat and could be seriously injured.

find the book for your car seat. most companies will send you one for free if you have lost it, or never had it. or look online for proper safe buckling. it might seem wierd, tight or uncomfortable, but its best to have them securly strapped in tight. the sooner you tighten it up, the quicker he will adjust to being strapped in. also, fire departments often have car seat clinics where they check and help teach you proper car seat buckling, typically buckling it into the car, but im sure they would know how to make sure your son was properly bucked as well.

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