How Did You Teach 'Gentle' to Your Rough and Tumble Boy?

It's not okay to hit and kick people no matter what age your child is. 16 months is plenty old enough to receive discipline when he is behaving badly. When my son was that age, if he ever hit me or was too rough with his sister (who is only 15 months older), he'd sit in time out. If your child gets out, pick him up without speaking, put him back in chair or corner and walk away. Keep doing it until he stays. If he is having big trouble staying in place, put him in his room, shut his door, and hold it shut for about 90 seconds. But, before you do so, explain to him that he hit you and therefore has to go to time out. If he's laughing at your lectures you're giving him about "soft touch" then it's time to try something else, and time out is very effective at that age if done correctly. If he does something to the pet, look at him and say "No hitting the cat, now you will have to sit in your room for a time out." Once the timeout is over though, if he's not still throwing a fit, open the door and smile at him and say "okay, let's go play". If he is in his room throwing a fit, you have to let him sit in there until he stops. After a couple seconds of him stopping, open the door and let him come out if he's been in there longer than his time out time. That way he learns that if he's screaming, mommy doesn't let him out, but if he stops, mommy opens the door and he's allowed to go play again. If I were you, I would get this under control now, because with a boy it is NOT a phase usually. Or with girls in my opinion. I have a cousin who always said "it's just a phase" and now she has a totally out of control 4 year old who I honestly get up and leave the table if he comes and eats at it when I'm at my grandma's house. He's horrible to just be in the same room with.

I hate suggesting this, but a quick pop on the diaper might be what he needs. From what you say he seems to be a very physical child and the sudden and startling sensation of the swat might get the message across that hitting isn't as fun on the receiving end. Now, he's probably still in diapers so the spanking won't really hurt him, mostly it would be an attention grabbing method. You may even have to physically move him away from the dangerous things. When he hits you or is about to, get a hold of his hand and tell him "no" right in his face, make sure he's looking at you, you have to looks angry and sound angry. I have a gate up to keep my daughter out of the kitchen and way from the table and chairs she likes. I even have to sometimes pop her on the rear, never to hurt her but she's just so into whatever she's doing that simply scolding her just doesn't work. I would much rather pop her on the diaper then have her fall off a chair and
really hurt herself.

I've even gently guided her hands since she was little when she would reach out for the cat. Controlling her as she pets and telling her she's being good and being gentle. Showing him the difference might help.

Good luck.

Discipline. He's not too young. When he hits, put him in time out. If he's mean to the cat, remove him from the cat and put him in time out. Then, hold the cat and take your little guys hand and pet the cat. Tell him "nice touch" "gentle" over and over again. Repetition is the key. He is also old enough to stay seated during a meal. He's pushing his boundaries to see how far he can go. You need to make sure he knows what is and is not ok.

I was always told to stay away from words like "don't (hit)" and NO unless very serious. I would really just say we are gentle and start to pet gently. "monkey see Monkey do." worked for us.
We also started time outs around this age. If he did something like hit or pull at the dog in a rough way he got a time out for one and half minutes. Then I would say we need to be gentle, or we need to do it this way....
Its hard when it comes to the table because you want to say No climbing, but try to stick to we sit at the table. Only Food goes on the table. Boys sit in chairs. Again a time out for a minute and half.
Sticking to your guns, not giving in even once. My son would dwell on that ONE time you gave in, then and now. If I decide it's a rule, then it is always a rule. If it's gentle with the cat, then it's gentle with the dog also. If there's no standing on table and chairs in the dinning room, there's no standing on tables and chairs in the living room. It took about a 3-5 days for him to figure out I was serious about the rules and then he was back to being happy and doing "good" rough and tough boy things!
As for meals, my son was out of his "strapped down high chair seat" at 15 months old. They are very capable of sitting while they eat. Maybe only 15 minutes, but they can do it. Just be stern with the rules and discipline! :)

What cartoons is he watching on TV? Some of the things that you are describing sound like some of the "situations" that you see on the cartoons on cartoon network. My youngest is 5, so they are old enough to know better when it comes to the difference between cartoon life and real life, but your little guy is still young. I had never paid to much attention to the content of the cartoons, but they are definitely not the Smurfs anymore. Even the more mild cartoons seem to have quite a bit of rough and tumble. My youngest son was broken from the habit of being so mean to his older sister by me making him give her a hug and kiss when he was mean. I also made him sit on my lap and hug me until he calmed down. It was like he just grew out of it after a few months.