Home Birth? - Arlington,TX

We had a homebirth with our son four years ago. It was lovely.

I do not, by the way, mean "flowing white nightgown and candles" lovely. I think what I meant is that the midwifery practice we worked with really helped to prepare us to be active participants in our birth. I did my own research on birthing techniques for relaxation/dilation/keeping labor going, and had researched midwifery and childbirth extensively on my own as a possible career for years before as a 'hobby' of sorts.

The labor went well. I had an acupuncture induction at four in the afternoon, as my son was already 10 days 'past due'. At 8 pm contractions started to pick up a little; at 10, they began to wane, so I took my husband out for a march around the neighborhood to keep them going. Went back to bed at 10:45 and my water broke around midnight. I felt awesome because I was able to slide off the bed before the big puddle. :) Then, it was just a lot of talking to myself, asking for 'more more more' contractions.The assistant midwife had checked me and left at around 2 a.m., saying that I was in 'light labor' and that I was only 2cm dialated and 75% effaced. 1.5 hours later, I didn't even know I'd hit transition until I could feel myself starting to push. At that point, the midwives were called-- she said she ran all the lights. It was a very unreal, strange and powerful place to be in, and at 4:16 in the morning, my beautiful boy was born in his own bed, in his own room. It was great.

The most vindicating thing, too, was that all my life I've had really terrible cramps and no one believed me. After having a baby with no meds, I can honestly say "I am NOT a wimp!" when it comes to cramps.:) I have a rather high pain threshold after all!

8 moms found this helpful

My first birth ended in a traumatic intervention induced cesarean - I've never gotten over emotionally or psychologically the trauma from that birth and still have physiological symptoms from that ceasrean and epidural from almost 6 years ago. I refuse to use an OB or go to a hospital for birth unless my Midwife says it is absolutely necessary.

My #2 will be in July - we (or maybe I should say *I*) opted for a Home Birth VBAC with a Midwife attending. My husband is European, but comes from a former communist country that most women went to hospitals for birth - tho their cesarean rate has always been very low. He was on the edge about my having a home birth and has had many doubts. Of course he is welcome to his opinion - but there is no way I'd allow HIS doubts to cause me to use a hospital again. I'm the one pregnant and having the baby - not him.

I am excitedly looking forward to my more normal birth in July - and am 98% sure that things will be fine. I'm aware some pain is to be expected, but it seems those women with homebirths or birthing center births has a less issue with pain - since you can move around, use a water tub, shower, etc than be forced to stay in a bed and not move due to being connected to too many things while at the hospital.

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Hazel, same!! I've had debilitating cramps all my life (when my irregular periods decided to show up) and wondered on more than one occasion if that was what labor felt like. Turns out, it was!

Mama, I had my son at the hospital, drug-free, assisted by nurse midwives. I dumped my OB at 20 weeks and the difference was amazing - my appts averaged 45 minutes rather than 15 and the midwives really cared about getting to know us. It was the best of both worlds, honestly. We were in a room that had a jacuzzi tub, birthing ball and we requested privacy, low lights and our own music. I labored at home for 7 hours, then went to the hospital. We were admitted at 3 am and E was born at 9:41.

I worked out to keep my body strong. I did so much reading and research on exactly what to expect in a typical labor so I wouldn't fear and fight the process (which results in a lot more pain). I taught my husband how to coach me and tell me affirming things to help me through. I tried not to be inhibited and moaned through the contractions, which actually helped tremendously, but I would have been a lot more self-conscious if people were in and out of my room, so I appreciated the privacy they gave us. Learning that words and thoughts have great power over our bodies and perceptions of pain, so the encouragement of my husband and midwife was invaluable.

In the end, things went well, although I lost my focus under the intensity of the rapid transition (I went from 5 - 9 in under 2 hours) but I never asked for the drugs. No regrets and now, if we're blessed with another LO, I will plan to do things the same way. I have the benefit of my own experience now to draw from and help me to prepare, mentally and physically.

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I wanted my first born at home like me, but hubby was not to comfortable with the idea, so we had him at the hospital drug free. The birth was great, but the hospital stay was pretty much the worst experience of my life and I will never go to LUH again.
Given that experience and the way the nurses treated us like we were too stupid to breathe, it was pretty easy to convince my hubby to try an at home midwife the second time around. My daughter's birth was perfect. It was just us, the midwife and her assistant. She was born at 10:30pm and we were all settled in with our new family by midnight.

I want to have this third one at home, but our insurance will not cover it. So it looks like McKee is where we are headed. Love our doctor, but I am not too happy about the hospital setting. I am going in with more experience this time though and it will be what it will be.

3 moms found this helpful

I have had one hospital birth and one homebirth (am planning second homebirth in august) and my "coping" was so much more effective and generally easier with my homebirth...I suspect some of it was due to already giving birth once. I had longer than average labors with both (24+ hrs and almost 4 hrs of pushing with an epidural with #1 and a good 12 hours but 25 minutes of pushing with #2). I was more confident and capable of asking/demanding what I needed with my second, which I know was partially due to being in my own home surrounded by people I knew intimately instead of surrounded by strangers. Nice though they may be, I didn't feel like I could tell the nurse I had just met to put counter pressure on my back for a couple of hours to deal with back labor during transtion but I had no problem letting my aunt know what I needed her to do :)

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I have my first in the hospital because I was not educated on my choices. It was horrible and emotionally draining. When I left the hospital I told my husband I was never doing that again. If I gave birth I would be at home even if I had to be myself in a closet. My second baby came nine years later. It was a beautiful homebirth. Long labor just like my first. Over 16 hours. I caught her myself in my bathroom. I had a wonderful midwife. My 3rd baby was born a year ago. Again, at home. Another long 17+ hour labor. I guess that is just how my body is. She was born after three pushes though with her big sisters looking on.
I truly believe in the power of women and the power and strength in a woman's body. Trust me I am a huge wimp too and I don't like pain but the pain of my hospital birth due in large part to the horrible care my baby and I received was much greater than any physical pain I had during my homebirths. And knowing that research has proven that for healthy low risk mothers, the best place to give birth for mom and baby is at home; I knew I was doing the best thing for my baby and that gave me tons of strength and will power.

Edit: As a former NICU Respiratory Therapist I have witnessed women and babies permanently damaged and some that lost their lives due to mistakes that happened in the hospital. Although no birth is without complete risk for a low risk mother the safest option is at home.

2 moms found this helpful

Same as Lesley, my husband was too uncomfortable with home birth to seriously consider it. I also had an unmedicated hospital birth with a midwife attending. Ten hours from water breaking to birth, with 3.5 hours pushing! Once I got into the swing of things, I didn't even consider any pain meds.

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My husband was VERY uncomfortable with the idea of a home birth - what if something went wrong? But I did have 3 unmedicated births in a hospital with supportive staff. My first was born after 16 hours of labour and 30 mins pushing; my second and third were both 6 hours of labour and 2 pushes.

Yes, labour is the most painful thing I've ever experienced, but I find it a managable pain and didn't even want to use drugs.

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I have a different take on home birth... I think if you want the empowerment and have the guts for natural, go for it, but in a sanitary, professional birthing center. The US has the highest infant AND mother death rate of any developed country, and the two extremes are to blame: women going too medical and having unnecessary C-sections too early just out of "convenience" and women having unsanitary unsupervised home births because they "want to." I bet they don't feel very empowered when their little baby is fighting for their life against a preventable infection.

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I had my first at a wonderful birthing center. Following this experience I became a bit of a natural birth "preacher." To me the drugs were everything. If you had them, your birth was not "natural". I would secretly judge women who chose drugs over the "natural" way. I had never been to a hospital birth (my sister birthed at home) and mine was drug free at the birthing center. (And it was a transformational experience)

Then my best friend got pregnant. She too was planning a birth at the birthing center. Then at 36 weeks her water broke...she was transferred to the hospital.

I watched in quiet admiration as this hospital birth (fully medicated...pitocin, epidural you name it) unfolded into the most incredible birth I had ever witnessed. After 38 hours of labor she brought her son courageously and consciously into the world. It was not easy but felt very "natural" to me. Even if it had been a cesarean, she gave it her best under very difficult circumstance and that is what matters. She had that intention.

I suppose what I am really about is women who inform themselves and make their own choices in a very overwhelming birthing world. I have learned that a woman can have a 'natural birth' no matter the details.

It's how it is all framed. My best friend came through a changed person not because of the drugs but because of her attitude.

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Just a word of caution because I think that homebirths are romanticized a bit much... I am totally for unmedicated births. I am totally for midwives. I am not a huge fan of hospitals or OB's. But what I do realize is that while most births are routine, every once in a while there is a problem. When a problem comes up, you want to be where the equipment and doctors are. The five minutes (at best) of driving to the hospital could be 5 minutes too long. This is not just my opinion. I have friends who opted for a homebirth. Things went south quickly and they needed an emergency c-section. It took too long to transfer to the hospital so now they have a brain damaged baby. The question you have to ask yourself is, while problems are rare, how would I feel if I was the one with the complication. Is it really worth the risk? I vote for a hospital birth with a midwife. Best of both worlds.

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