HELP...Single Moms, Meals, No Energy, Activities

Zucchini Spaghetti - Quick and easy.
Cut up one zucchini
Cut up a little onion
Cut up a little garlic (to taste)

saute everything in a skillet with a little olive oil while you cook noodles - I like angle hair but use what you have

Add a can of Italian style tomatoes
Mix everything together and serve

I like to add crab meat or my mom added leftover cooked chicken.

Hormel makes these meat trays that are awesome! You can find them in your grocery stores in the fresh meat section. They take about 4 minutes in the microwave. You can either make some instant potatoes, boil some egg noodles, or open a can of sweet potatoes for a starch. Get a bag of microwave frozen veggies or the canned kind and Voila, you have a meal in 10 minutes! Enjoy!

I'm in your shoes and it sounds like me reading your message. I have a 4.5 year old boy and he is very active. I am 42 with a full time job, No child support, or any other support for that matter.

I'm taking it one day at a time. When it comes to meals, I prepare for 2-3 nights and try to prepare things that freeze good. I am making sure to keep my son on a schedule especially bed time. I need that couple of hours in the evening to myself just to re-charge. I work on my bills and what I can at lunch time and spend about half a day on the weekend doing the laundry and clean up stuff. Each day it seems to get a little bit easier.

Take a deep breath and things will get better. I, Like You, didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel but you will. Being a single parent is hard but knowing that I'm doing my best everyday is so rewarding.

As far as activities, try to set up play dates with other kids in your area. I started doing that once a month and now we do it no less than every other weekend if not every weekend. It's been so much fun.

Sorry this is long, but I so remember this.
My mom was a single parent when she and my dad divorced. She had the same schedule as you.

She made us very organized. She did a load of laundry every day or every other day She popped it in the washer in the morning and then put it in the dryer when she got home. The dry clothes were always on one end of the TV room sofa. If you wanted to watch TV, you had to fold and then place the clothes in the correct places during commercials. Even your 3 year old can help separate clothing into colors. He can help fold small pieces of clothing and he can place the clothes in the correct rooms. If your son has a wagon he can pull them around the house. He can also take the clothes to the washing machine using the wagon.

When she made a meal, she made enough for 2 meals, so we ate leftovers every other day. We always had sandwich stuff in the fridge, so we could just have a sandwiches. New price specials come out on Wed, but the stores are packed. So went shopping on Thursdays we went straight to the grocery store for grocery shopping. We would get something to eat from the deli and then we would shop. This left less running around for the weekends. We would clean in the morning and then we could play at the park or go to free activities around town or play with our friends.

Sharing cooking with your mom is a great idea. In the beginning, you could purchase "mostly cooked" items like frozen lasagna that can be microwaved. Serve it with a salad and rolls. Bertolli pasta in the freezer is very tasty, look for coupons.

Also here on mamasource go the "Request" Page. On the left hand side there is a list of topics, push on "meals" and you will find a ton of previous requests for easy meals. Check out the responses. There are tons..

3 year olds love to be outside and running. Have "races" with him. Set up obstacle courses in the back yard. Do Simon says with lots of hopping, skipping, jumping. Let him be Simon sometimes get your mom out there to play too.

Find giant cardboard boxes and have him crawl through them. In the dark, give him a flashlight and let him crawl through them. Get liqueur sized boxes and tape them closed. Let him stack them like giant blocks.

We have a long driveway. I would park the car across the end of the driveway to block the street and use sidewalk chalk to mark off traffic lanes on the drive way. We would draw stop signs, cross walks, intersections and parking spaces. Then we would pull out every trike, wagon, hobby horses, skates whatever and have our daughter and neighborhood kids play "Traffic". If you have sidewalks, it would be awesome.

Make a deal with your son, that he can watch a video on Sunday morning if he will let you sleep late. Leave out some breakfast bars, fruit and a sippy cup of milk in the fridge where he can reach it to serve himself.

If your mom will watch your son one afternoon. Ask a single friend if you could go over to her house and take a nap every once in a while.

The crock pot is a life saver. Just throw in a roast, with carrots, potatos (really any veggies you like), salt, pepper and a little water and turn it on low. When you get home you'll have a yummy smelling house and meal. Just add a salad and you're done.

You can find great crock pot/slow cooker recipes online.

Well, as a fellow single mom with two kids and living with my mom too, I KNOW what you feel!!
First, LOOSE the high expectations!! 3 year olds just don't care about that stuff. If you want to cook quick and easy, you are going to have to start thinking "quick and easy"!! Mac and CHEESE (nuf said). You can get a 1 lb bit of hamburger and cook well while the noodles are cooking. Make according to instructions and add in some peas, corn, diced carrots, any veggie and have a one plate meal. Boy did that get me through some LONG days! You can do the same with a pack of ramen noodles (chopped ham, peas, corn, etc.) Hamburger helper works too. Remember that quick and easy should still include veggies with every meal, even if it's not a lot. Cereal works in a pinch. Pancakes for dinner are wonderful. HEB sells this "Sweet Potato" pancake mix that is endorsed my the American Heart Association!! AND, it's all veggies!! Tuna salad on ritz crackers! When and IF you have time, and if you have extra casserole dishes to spare, you can also do things like make up a dish of enchiladas, taco casserole, tuna casserole, etc and cover them with tinfoil and freeze them. Then, when you get home, get one out, pop it straight into the oven and while it's cooking, go get into the bath with your son and get clean. When your bath is done, so is dinner and you still have time for stories!! Whoo Hoo!
As for me, my schedule was like this:
Get home around 6:30p, quick dinner, then off to the showers. (we did and still do group showers, saves TONS of time, don't get phobic about being naked, I promise they don't even think about that stuff at that age)Then, it's stories (3) and bed time about 7:30pm-8pm. We do EVERYTHING as a group when we get home. If I put them in the bath, I get sidetracked and we are off schedule again! This also makes me get to bed early too. As a single mom, you NEED your rest too. Make it a point to put yourself to bed too. If it means putting a TV in your room so you can lay down and watch T.V. instead of going back out to the living room. If you are in the living room, you are putting too much pressure on yourself to stay up and out of bed. Even if you dont' go to sleep in your room, you are laying down and resting, something you desperately need after a long day.
And how do we do it? It now a matter of HOW, we do it because if we don't it wont get done!! That's why guys call us WOMAN!!! WO, MAN I can't work like that!!!

We do it because we have too. Good luck and get some rest.

PS. a roll of cheap tin foil makes REALLY COOL roads for toy cars and you can see the tire tracks!! PLUS, you can reuse the road and it's recyclable.

I too am a single mother of 2 little boys ages 4 and 6. I am faced with the same delimma. I love my Crock-Pot(but it stopped working this weekend) I like to make large meals on the weekends and then freeze them. You can always come back and microwave them later for a nice hot meal. I work 2 jobs, go to school full-time and receive almost no support from my ex-husband other than the weekends his mother takes the kids for me. My mother passed away 2 yrs ago and most of my family lives in different cities. Luckily, I have a strong group of friends who are also single mothers that help me out tremendously. Look into finding some playgroups for your weekends...Meet some women like you. You'll be surprised of how many of us there are who need the comradery.

First I highly recommend you watching or recording Rachael Ray's 30 minute meals on the food network. I myself hate to cook. I work 32 hours a week, and although I am not a single mom, I feel like one most of the time because my husband works weird hours and I end up doing everything else!

So Rachael Ray has some great, mostly healthy recipes that are so easy, and use real ingredients that you probably have or at least recognize and can buy at any store.

Her baked ziti, and not sagna pasta toss are our favorites!!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/30-minute-meals/index.html

Next all in one meals at the supermarket can really help. Banquet makes crock pot meals that you just throw in the crock pot. With packaged meals you really have to look at the salt and fat content, but there are some that are good out there

I also love old standbys like sloppy joes made with 97% lean ground beef and whole grain buns, mac and cheese, and all beef hot dogs with baked beans.

Also you can find frozen chicken strips and make home made fajitas or soft tacos with flour tortillas. My family loves these!

I'm sure you will find some recipes that work for you. Sometimes I will make a bunch of something on Sunday and have lunches or meals for the week.

Wow!! What type of work do you do?
Vitamins only work if your body can absorb them. Your diet through out the day might also have something to do with your energy and short fuse. I am home-school my children and work from home, but the evenings are always busy because we have dance 4 nights a week, so cooking dinner is not always the easiest. On top of that I really don't enjoy cooking so it makes it even harder. I try to keep fresh veg. and fruits on hand. I also cook enough chicken breast for the week,so I can warm and add a veg. I also pre brown 2lbs of ground beef on Sat. or Sunday that way when I come home I can make spig. tacos, beef rice a roni mix. Hope this helps a little.
If you want to know which vitamins work best just ask and I can give you the scientific information that backs it up. Don't worry they are not expensive, they just work.

How great that you have your parents to help you...and you have no idea how much joy your child is bringing into their lives. As for food, goodness, you can do wonders with a pound of ground meat and a bottle of spaghetti sauce, a few slices of garlic toast and a salad. Salads are even premade now. There are several different precooked meat meals in the deli dept at the grocery store. These usually run between $5.00 and $7.00 and will easily feed three persons. Look at the idesa on boxes of Hamberger Helper and Stovetop Dressing. You'll find some good ideas there that don't take long to make. Cottage cheese and fruit salads are quick. A can of chile, a package of Fritoes and a handful of cheese makes a great, quick meal. There are several good cook books out with good ideas for easy meals.
If he's in childcare all day he has plenty of kids to play with so read to him and teach him to love books. He's old enough to learn about puzzles. Get him a little golf club and let him hit the ball around the backyard while you just relax.

Hi N.,

This is just a note of appreciation for how well you are doing -- everything you are struggling with, I have struggled with too as a working mother WITH a father on the premises, and you frankly sound like you are putting your shoulder into a lot of things that I really haven't, like getting outdoors with your child and doing crafts. So, I just wanted to tell you that it sounds like your doing a wonderful job as a Mom. As far as the short fuse at inappropriate moments, I do think this will get better -- it is a very difficult side effect of our over-stretched lives. I can share a couple of things that have helped me. First, if I really lose my cool, I separate myself from my daughter -- I've locked the door to my bedroom and beaten the hell out of the bed with a push broom, for instance. That's a really happy memory for me and I think it was reassuring to my duaghter as well -- it let her see that no matter how angry I got, i wouldn't take it out on her. If I or my husband do act out toward our kid in anger, and we do sometimes, I apologize, if it was me, or bring my daughter to her father to tell him how his actions affected her and let him apologize. I don't apologize for yelling if I am not yelling mean things, although maybe I should. But meanness or hitting are parental mistakes which i own as mistakes and apologize for. I also occasionally, in calm moments, point out to my child that even the nicest, calmest dog may bite if you stress it out enough. I want her to be able to learn that she too has a part in pushing me over the top, but that as the adult, and not a dog, it is my responsibility not to let that happen. It does get better.

All the best!
M.

My advice is use your freezer!! Cook a casseroll and double it. Put it away in the freezer for another time. Also, you can go to savingdinner.com. She gives you lots of different meals to choose from. Then you take the grocery list provided and prep the meals all in one day. Again, freeze them and take them out when you want to cook them. Most only take about 30 min on the stove to cook and you have already done the prep so it saves big time. If you don't have a croc pot you might want to look into that. I love mine. I just throw it all in the pot and turn it on in the morning and by dinner we have a good meal. Good luck.

Hi N.,

Being a parent is never easy and when there is just one its even tougher. I was a single parent for awhile and I worked full time and I always felt stressed and I was always tired. Then I went back to school as a R.M.T. and realized it didn't have to be this way. I decided that I needed a little time for my self whether it was 5mins or 15mins. Sometimes you need to get to know yourself so you can recoup for the week and for your kids. I was always snapping at somebody and I didn't like myself I didn't like who I was becoming and where I was going. So here is what I did. I took my bathroom and made it into my place to get a way. You spend half your life in one you mine as well put it to good use lol..so I put some books and a radio in it. That way when I went in there I was surrounded by good books and some relaxing music. Each time I was in there it helped me through out my day and each day it gave me what I needed and to this day and I still do it to this day. Sometimes we just need to let go of the stress and slow down. What we have no control over we need to just let it go and focus on what we do have control over. You will gain not only rest because you were able to sleep better but you will feel rejuvenated and you will feel better because you can last longer when your hanging out with the kido. Its starts within you can eat healthy and exercise but there is more to it. Just spending time where it counts will make a world of a difference. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of who we are so we know where were going. There are many activities you can do with your son. Spending time is the best activity whether its watching sesame street, dancing and laughing to a fun song, or just playing in the back yard and your the horse and he's the cowboy, get a box build a space ship, or even a cave with the box and get some flash lights, my youngest who is 12 still loves his flashlight and I have bought many over the years lol. I wish you the best N., just remember the best activity you can do is just being yourself and having fun and leaving the stress full world at the doorstep.

Hi - I'm not a single mom and often wonder, how you can do it all - I applaud you for trying! Just thought I'd offer you a few suggestions: Menu --> ask the school, or your son, what his favorite meals are and put them on the dinner menu! I would have NEVER made fish sticks, steak fingers or cocktail sausages before I found out they are some of my kids FAVS. I have a microwave streamer (that I love!) and use it to steam any and all frozen veggies (just put water in the steamer, dump the bag and microwave - lil' corn cobs and broccoli are my kids favs) ... plus HEB has wonderful frozen meatballs that you can also steam -- my kids also LOVE them! Feel free to email me if you want a copy of my calendar. To keep everything straight I make a monthly calendar in Microsoft Word and make my menu and note important days, birthday parties, etc. I print out one for the fridge and then have the original on my computer to refer to while at work.

Energy - that's a good one - I can sleep 8 hours and still feel tired. Exercise, eating right and vitamins are all great, if you still feel tired though - you many want to have a physical. I've had mono before and that does make you always feel exhausted!

Things to do w/ your son ... at 3 you're starting to enter the age of sports. Introduce him to t-ball, soccer, football, ride bikes/scooters, tennis, etc - he'll enjoy it and you'll get additional excersie.

Feel free to email me if you want to chat more - good luck!

Hi N.,
You really have your challenges cut out for you. Thank goodness you have your mom to fill in the gaps at times. It is very difficult these days to raise a little one alone especially when you work at many hours as you do. But, there are some quickie meals you can do- do you have a crock pot- if not you should have one. There are some really great things you can do with a crockpot- simple- put it on in the am before youleave for work and dinner is done when you get home. Also, you can prepare things ahead of time like on the week ends- cook up some chicken, roast, ribs etc, for your main meals during the week- then all you have to do is throw in some veggies or salad and you have dinner- also- have you tried the skillet meals? Our favorite is the Stouffer Skillet meals- depending on the number in your family- say 3 or 4 one meal will feed that many- they take only 15 minutes max and you are done. throw in a salad and you have dinner- These meals have things that your little one would eat- lots of pasta, pot roast- spagetti- etc- and they are very economical-
Now, if you are taking vitamins over the counter they are not doing you any good. Most are chemically produced and your body rejext most of them- so you ae not getting your money's worth. -escentially just throwing your money away- you need some naturally produced vitamins that are all inclusive- some that meet all the deficiaencies in your body- minerals, etc-
I can introduce you to some if you want- just PM me and I will send you to the link of the ones that my hubby and I take.............he is 75 and I am 71 and we have the energy of those 35sh not trying to sell you anything- just giving you the information about the nutrition you may be needing.
Good luck and blessings

I raised my daughter by my self until she was 5 when I got remarried. This may seem irresponsible but I just didn't knock my self out over dinner. She ate well at breakfast and at lunch so most nights we just snacked on fresh fruit and cheese or maybe soup and crackers. I really didn't see why I should waste my quality time with my daughter slaving over a dinner she probably wouldn't eat much of any way. Once a week I would do something in the Crock pot and we might eat off of that for a few days. It was only the two of us so I could really stretch out food budget out a long time. I might buy one of those rotisserie chickens and a bag of salad and make that last for 3 days. You have to set your priorities. Your time is precious, and you don't get these days back. Don't waste your time trying to be super mom. Enjoy your son! Have fun!
One thing that I would do was to involve my daughter in chores and tried to make them as fun as possible. She would help me do laundry or make beds. They weren't perfect but like I said, who cares! Its hard being a mom, Its even hard when its just you! But I look back at those days with my daughter and I wouldn't trade them for any thing!

I feel your pain. I am a single parent of a very active 12 year old and we are constanly on the go!! The last thing I want to do when we drag ourselves home is to figure out what to cook for dinner. I found Dream Dinners about a year ago and that keeps us up and running with healthy meals. You basically go in and put meals together and put them in the freezer. Pull them out, cook them, eat!! It is really easy and alot of it is healthy. I don't know where you live, but you might check it out.

HI N.!! First of all, you need to know that you are an AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, LOVING WOMAN! I may be a little biased because I know you, but it is so true!! I promise that your life will get better. Mainly because you are working on it to be that way. It will not stay the way it is forever. I also think that you put A LOT of pressure on yourself to be perfect. Quit judging yourself on what other people think of you and quit trying to live up to standards that are unreal. Allow yourself to JUST BE YOU! Being a single mom is EXHAUSTING and HARD! You are doing a FANTASTIC job raising your son! He is so smart and so loving and he is a pleasure to be around. I am sure the wonderful momma's will give you some recipes to help you out. But I wanted to tell you I am proud of you! I Love you!!! D.

Hi N.,

First of all- you have a full plate- and it would be easy to be stressed with all that you have going. Don't be too h*** o* yourself. You are doing a wonderful job! I have a little man also- but I am not a single Mom- so I am sure you are just exhausted. As another poster said- little boys love to play outside so any time that he can be outside he will love you to pieces for.
One thing I did while I worked was walked on my lunch break. I do not know if that is available for you- but if it is- a quick 15 minute stroll after lunch could really help your energy level. When you are doing things for yourself it just makes you feel better.
Now for the dinner. I didn't see if anyone said this- but get a crockpot if you do not have one. You can make some awesome meals that people would swear that you slaved over all day. You just drop your ingredients and go. One of my favorites makes enough food to last 3-4 days- you can make barbeque sandwiches, or serve it up with vegetables.

From Flylady.com

5-6 lb pork roast butt (don't worry- not the butt :) )
1/3 cup of worchester sauce
1/3 cup of brown sugar.

Put the meat in the crockpot (do not put water in or it will overflow-) add the worchester sauce and brown sugar- set on low to 11-12 hours and VIOLA! It is awesome!

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Red beans and Rice
You or your friend requested the www.cooks.com recipe below:

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RED BEAN 'N RICE
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1 lb. red kidney beans, rinsed & drained
1 slice of salt pork
1 or 2 med. sized onions, chopped
2 or 3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp. coarsely ground black pepper
3 qt. water
1 tbsp. salt
1/2 tsp. red pepper
1 lb. smoked sausage (or Kielbasa), sliced, sauteed &
drained

I modified it a bit by putting 3 cut up slices of bacon instead of salt pork and crushed red pepper instead of red pepper. Also I would boil your beans in the 3 quarts of water and add a can of coke/diet coke to release the gas. It seems like alot of trouble but it really isnt and it makes a ton!

In a large cast iron Dutch oven or crock pot, bring all
ingredients except sausage to a boil. Simmer until beans
are soft and liquid is thick. (If using a crock pot, set on
high for 4 to 5 hours.) Stir in sausage and cook an
additional 30 minutes. Serve over hot rice. Top with
chopped green onions. Serve with hot corn bread.

These are just a couple of recipes- I have a few more if you are interested.

Hang in there- you are doing great!

God Bless!

K.

http://www.RogersUnitedRealty.com

If you are tired with no reason get your thyroid levels checked.

As far as meal plans:
1. Fresh veggies. Chop them up as soon as you get home from the store, then they will be ready for you to eat any night. I do celery, carrots, cucumber, green pepper and lettuce. Dip in peanut butter. I put these out like appetizers while I cook and am always surprised by how much they eat.
2. Don't underestimate yogurt. It has LOTS of protein and is cheap and delicious. My toddlers love to put frozen blueberries and bananas in theirs. Add some crackers and it is pretty much a whole meal. (Frozen blueberries last forever and taste like candy to toddlers. FYI)
3. Try to cook up a bunch of chicken (or beef) on Sunday (or whatever your day off is). I use a crock pot to do it. Then you can chop it up and use it for meals throughout the week.
4. When in doubt, pizza. The fresh crust from HEB is pretty cheap and kids LOVE to help make pizza. I use olive oil or spaghetti sauce for sauce, but whatever works. That and some cheese, meat, and veg. They cook in about 12 minutes.
5. Quesadillas in the microwave. Easy and quick. Beans, cheese and some of that meat you made earlier in the week. Avocado if your kid will eat it. Mine won't. More for me.

It sounds boring for meals to always be like this, but remember that your kid will only be this small and sweet for a little while. It's ok to be exhausted and you are doing your BEST. Good luck.

Well, I have to say - you are not alone! I am a 35 year old single Mom with an 18month old boy. I must say that exhaustion seems to be part of the game. I am fortunate enough to have working hours that allow me to work nights so I have more time with my little guy. However, I find if I can't nap when he does, I am tired all the time. I imagine that is happening to you! I sometimes look at this website http://www.grumpymoms.com/bb/articlelist.cfm?articlecateg...
because I think the grumpy moms applies when you haven't slept enough or eaten well. Maybe that will give you some ideas.
I know that when I worked days, I tried to work out the grumpies before I arrived home but easier said than done. My son is very active and loves sensory activities. When I just need a rest, I drag out a big bin of dried beans with some measuring spoons for scooping and then I hide little toys in there. It can be messy but can also gives me about 10 or so minutes just to sit while he is enjoying himself. Just an idea!
Hope that you find some good recipes. There are a ton of books out there.
T.

Hi N.,

First off, wow! I have always admired single mothers--I just don't know how you do it and it seems like you are really trying hard to make a great life for you and your son. Others have touched on many good ideas. I also agree with the one poster about how you need to be organized. When it comes to food you need to have a plan. I had to teach myself how to do that (not naturally born organized) and found the www.organizedhome.com website to be very valuable.

I've also got a blog myself now (because in this journey to become more organized and feed my family more healthy foods, I wanted to share it with others). You can check out my blog at www.mealplanningmagic.blogspot.com Hopefully you will find some tips there that will help you too.

One thing I suggest is to sit down each week (or monthly or whenever works for you--I do my meal plans monthly) and come up with a basic plan of what to have on hand and what you can make each week. Sounds like some good healthy snacks might be great for you all too since you said your son sometimes eats at daycare but sometimes not. Just be sure to WRTIE IT DOWN otherwise you will fall back on the same old things time after time--usually what's easiest but not always the most healthy. If you search the archives at my blog you will find last week I posted a form that you can print out and use to keep track of your monthly meal plan.

If it all seems overwhelming (and it definitely can be!) just try to make gradual changes and you will begin to see the differences before too long in terms of your energy too.

One last thing as far as your energy--some of it just comes from having an active 3 year old! But I also try to take at least 10-15 minutes at the end of the day to just wind down and relax. Sometimes that means just watching a bit of t.v., surfing online or reading a magazine. I usually make a cup of green tea and that seems to really calm me down from a long, stressful day. Even just those few minutes to stop everything else has made a big difference for me--it even helps me fall to sleep easier so I wake up feeling a bit better in the mornign (than on days where I don't do that, you know).

Hope this helps and good luck!