HELP....Need Advice on Potty Trianing...

Potty training was too long ago. I am 84 years old, and there are some things that I am content to forget. Potty training being high on the list.
D.

1 mom found this helpful

well, what i did is start on a weekend and then asked a whoever was taking care of my daughter to make sure she tried the potty at least every hour. I brought her pott wit hme everywhere, now they have little seats to go on the big potty. My nephew uses that.

You have to ask for help and most people would rather have them potty in a pot then a diaper. My daughter Potty trained herself at 18 months. 16 months is pretty young unless she shouws interest. My daughter was young for it but was always really independent and determined.

It always seems harder then it is. So good luck

Stay positive and really don't "Train"
Let her lead the way and reward, reward, reward!
I see so many people having frustrations because they need to be the one to train when it comes down to it nature will take it's place.
If you want to have fun with the early process check out some potty videos from the library and start reading books on learning to use the potty.
I guess you can call it "planting a seed".
Good luck and most of all stay patient, it will happen when she is ready.

HI M.,
Is your daughter showing signs that she is ready to start potty training, and that is the reason you are considering trying to begin potty training? Our daughter was a "late" learner with this. (We think she was able to, but she's a very independent child who likes everything to be her idea.) Also our only bathroom was upstairs and she didn't get the opportunity to see use using the toilet, which is something that has really helped our son learn. We got her some books about going on the potty and Elmo's Pottytime video and started talking a lot about going on the potty without putting pressure on her to use it. Eventually se decided that she wanted to go on the potty. Every time she went on the potty we made a HUGE deal about it, and even when she sat on the potty and tried to go we praised her for that. I think if everyone is consistent with her and uses positive reinforcement she'll get the hang of it no matter who cares for her. And remember that all kids learn at a different pace, so watch for the signs that she is ready vesus when the books or friends say she should be ready. You know your child better than anyone else! Good luck!

My daughter and niece trained there girls (they were about 22months) by giving them a couple of M&M's everytime they would go on the pot. They now rotate giving M&M's and a High five so they are not getting M&M's constantly. It took only 3weeks for my grand daughter to be completely trained and waring big girl panties.

The first thing to consider is when she is ready. I have only known two mom's whose daughter's were ready to start potty training so early. The child will let you know when he or she is ready.

The important thing to remember is not to force the issue. What happens many times is that the child will show interest early. Then stave off for awhile until they are truly ready to potty train. There are also two parts to the training. Sometimes children potty train just #1 at first, and hold on to the pooping in the diaper thing for a couple more months.
The best thing to take from all this advice is this: every child is different and therefore every child potty trains differently. You just have to be guided by your child.

Once your child is really ready to take the full step of potty training, then there are a few options. A friend of mine who is in the same situation chose their family vacation to potty train. Both parents are available and you can give your daughter the attention she needs to focus on the goal.
Other children just potty train with the other care givers. If you can get a commitment from the other caregivers to follow the same training routine that you follow at home, then no problem.

Your child s WAY to young to be even thing about potty training - there is not way to force your child into it unless she is ready. The more you push full time potty training, the less inclined she will be to cooperate. Dont worry about it, she is still essentially a baby - most, if not all, pediatricians you will speak to dont recommend even starting potty training at all until a child is 2 (unless they show and extreme interest in it, an interest that goes beyond a child wanting to watch her parents go potty). You child must develop certain skills before she is capable:
1. She must be able to tell you when she needs to go pee or poop: one putting her on the potty all day every few hours is MOMMY trained, not potty trained. At her age, she most likely has no conscious control of her bladder or bowels. She needs to be able to hold and release those muscles to either hold in or release waste before potty training is even physically possible.
2. She needs to be able to keep her diaper dry for 2-4hrs at a time, which exhibits readiness for training as she then will obviously have learned how to control those muscles.
3. She should be able to take her own pants up and down, and be mature enough to pat herself dry when she pees.
4. She needs to be able to express her need for use of the bathroom clearly - she is not yet old enough to comprehend "my bladder is full, I need to pee" and therefore doesn't yet have the words to express a need to urinate or poop.

Im a special ed teacher and child psychologist. You are really jumping the gun on this one - it is a rare occurence that a 16 month old has the maturity of mind and body to begin potty training. Wait awhile, and don't push her. Try when she is close to two and is exhibiting the signs I mentioned above.

My unconventional method works well for girls because they wear dresses and can go without panties!!! When they find that something is 'coming out of them' you simply make it a game of putting it in the pot! When it is in their panties it is like a diaper but without that it is a new world and at NO time should an accident cause any other reaction than,"you missed"! Both my daughter's were trained in three weeks and it worked like a charm on my grandaughters as well, good luck!

I recommend reading a book called Diaper Free Baby. It is about EC (ellimination communication) which can begin at birth, but has helpful tips to start usuing the potty at any age. We love EC!!
L. and Ava (6mos)

Hello M., I have a background in Early Childhood Ed. and research has found that childrens readiness for potty-training coinsides with language development. If she is on again/ off agin with using the potty, she might not quite be ready. If she has the language to tell you when she needs to go, and if you think she can recognize the feeling of having to "go," then keep on it. I used M&M's for bribbing. 2 for #1, and 3 for #2. It seemed to work well. My Children were all between 22-25 months old when they potty-trained. Good Luck!!
A. W.

I'm no expert, but in my experience, potty training is easiest when initiated by the child. Since your child is still young, be sure they want to start and show readiness before starting the process or it will be very disappointing for all as you will find that YOU will be potty trained not them. For example, you will need to keep asking them if they need to go vs. the child just going by themselves. When mine were ready to potty train, they understood when and where they needed to go and even in situations I wasn't there, they could take care of themselves. They were much older than 16 mos. though. I tried potty training my 16 month old and that was a disaster when the new baby came and only I was potty trained then. He was more ready after 2 1/2. Best of luck.

C.

I think you might be a little early. I've got a 26 month old and she's just now really getting it figured out. At 16 months she wasn't anywhere near ready. With my daughter we tried every month or so with pull-ups or big girl panties until it seemed like she really understood the concept...and we're now just about 50/50 for going in the potty. Good luck. K.

I have read all the advice that you've gotten. I am not an expert, I have one son who will be three in two days. He's been completely potty trained for over a year. My sister's daughter is almost five months older than my son. She is just potty training now. She's very independant and did not want to train. Now she's doing very well. I have heard people say that it takes longer for boys. In my case it wasn't so. I think it was before he was 15 months, he was standing in the bath and peed. He thought it was the coolest thing. So after that whenever he was in the bath, he pushed to try and pee. I was concerned at first. I even asked the doctor if it was ok that he was pushing so hard to try and pee. He said it was fine. After awhile I got him a potty, just to get him familiar-I wasn't "training". Then it just seemed time for him to be trained, because he was already peeing. So we did it. I bought him underwear. For two days he wanted to wear diapers when he pooped. We made the rule that if he wanted to wear a diaper, he had to do it in the bathroom. If he left the bathroom, he had to wear his underwear. After two days (two times pooping) he never wore diapers again. At first I took him to the bathroom every half hour. But he knew how to pee, so it was more of him feeling it before hand. Before long we were running to the bathroom because he "had" to go. He LOVES peeing standing up! He doesn't even use the wee potty anymore. And on occasion, I will walk past the bathroom and see my son, and my husband standing-peeing at the same time! Now that's something! He has had some mistakes, mostly at night. But it's not a big deal. He's learning-even now that he's completely trained, he's still learning, you know? And when changes happen with him or in the family-with anything:it'll show in their potty training. It's a day by day thing. And the big thing is to be consistant and keep it positive-no big deal. I don't know. It was easy for my son and hard for my sister's daughter. This is the third time she'd tried, and now it's working. She tried to listen to everyone's advice and had a hard time. I think you'll know. I would just get her familiar, but not really try, you know? When she get's interested she'll show it-then you can really train. Kids are so different and there are so many theories. There's no rule book that works for everyone. So just go with what feels right to you. You won't ruin her, I promise! Good luck!

Here is a fantastic link to 3 days of potty training! Take one long weekend when you will be home with your daughter. It is a great way
to potty train. Hope this helps!
www.easypottytraining.com

-M.

children's bodies technically don't start giving them that regular signal for controlling the urge to go to the bathroom until 18 months. I would wait until at least then so you don't have any set backs with it. we are going through those with my 34 month old son. THEY have to be ready. if she is, great! I don't know about the working mom and dad part though. sorry.

Hi M.,

The best thing that you can do is to set up a plan and share it with your childs caregivers. To be successful, all four of you will need to be on the same page. And remember not to push it too hard. 16 months is pretty young, and in the end it's going to be your child who determines when and how she'll do it.

Good luck!

she's too young now, but I put a little potty out in the backyard during the summer months that my little ones could sit on anytime they needed to. Just let her practice til she gets it. You can't force these things.

Hi M.:

Our pediatrican says to not even begin to potty train until the age of two. She says that many parents start early and the child may do it for a while but then they regress. I have had three kids go through this process and i started with both my girls between 24 and 28 months. both girls caught on pretty quickly. We got sticker books and each time they did number 1, they got to pick a small priness sticker to put in the book and if they went number 2, they got a HUGE princess sticker in the book.(they are now 6 and 4 and they still have their sticker books and like me to tell them the pottry training story). My son is 3 and he is still not fully trained, but boys are completley different! Good luck

Hi M.,

Start on a Friday night or Saturday when you (as parents) are going to be home all weekend. Start setting her on the potty just to get her familiar with it. This will tell you if she is ready. Try to do it 30-90 minutes after she eats. Nothing may happen at first but she will let you know if she wants to do this or not. I have one son who wasn't interested until 2 1/2 and another who started at 18 months. Neither are completely trained but boys are typically slower in the process.

It is really important for you to get all involved with her care on board with helping you in the process. Consistency and patience is key. Remember, most kids entering kindergarten are trained so it is okay if she doesn't get it right away.

My advice would be to wait until she's older is less likely to be confused (and she will have the verbal skills herself) by the various people in her life helping her train. There's lots of time--and she's really young still--not even 1 1/2 yet! I'm the mother of three, and wouldn't even begin to think about this until age 2. Relax!

Wait - what is the rush? My daughter was trained at 2 1/2 when she was talking and communicating very well. She decided when she was ready. We had tried 4 - 5 months earlier at 2 and she was not having it which resulted in frustration and resistance. She has never had an accident and has never wet her bed.

Hi M... on starting to potty train your 16 month old daughter, it may be too early yet. It also depends on her maturity level. Some toddlers won't start to even comprehend potty training until almost two, or until they show a distinct interest in not wanting dirty pants. Some toddlers will train if allowed to accompany other potty trained friends to the bathroom. So request the mother of the 2 year old to have your daughter accompany her child to the bathroom . My 2 daughters trained by 2, whereas my son closer to 2 and a half. Hope this helps you...CJ

Hello, First of all, is she showing interest in being ready to potty train? She is a little young. You should get a potty chair and let her get familiar and comfortable with it. I let my son put stickers on his. Sometimes a doll that goes potty can be helpful. You should have the nanny and yourself put her on the potty at least 30 mins after a drink and read stories or sing songs to take the pressure off. When she does use the potty, reward her (stickers, stamps, etc..). Most important you, nanny and other caregiver should be consistent. Do not punish for accidents. I hope this helps.

It looks like you've had a lot of great advice here. Be sure to listen especially to "Kirstin L" as it seems she has the most professional view. I am an assistant director of a local preschool and have worked with children ages 3 mo - 12 yrs (as well as have two of my own) for over 15 years. I am constantly supporting families who are interested in getting their children out of diapers. And believe me, if you try too early, you will get frustrated. Not you only, of course, but those who are watching your baby while you are at work, too! Diapers are frustrating, true, but potty-learning is even more frustrating when the parent is pushing the issue before the child is ready. The best thing you can do right now is read, read, read to your child, and buy her a little training potty to sit on (fully clothed) so she can get used to the idea. When she's ready, you'll know. Good luck, what ever you decide! :)

I only recently stopped working full-time, and we potty trained our daughter back when both of us were working full-time, so I see where you're coming from. You didn't mention who your other nanny is, but it sounds like the mom with the potty trained 2 year old may be able to help you quite a lot. I'd talk with her, establish a potty training plan, then make sure your other nanny is on board with that plan. This worked so well for us that basically, her care provider ended up doing most of the training. :) Also, a great book to read is "Parenting Guide to Toilet Training" by "Parenting" Magazine and Anne Krueger. Good luck!

Hi M.,
The first thing I need to tell you is she is too young. Training her now will only bring stress to you and her. Wait until after she is 2 or closer to 3. ONce she is very close to 3, you can actually do it over a long weekend. Depending on when her birthday is, if there is a 3 day weekend just before her 3rd b-day, have her run around in underwear as you teach her what to do. Another thing to do as you are leading up to this, is whenever she is getting into the bath and going to bed, have her sit on the toilet. She will get into that habit and then it will be easier for her to transition her to doing it all the time. However, I stress to you that it is too early! Wait until she is almost 3.
I have a 7 year old boy and 4 year old boy/girl twins.
Good luck!

I have read that a babys bladder muscles are fully devloped until they are about 3 years old. I waited until 2 1/2 and started the potty training. My oldest daughter pottied trained at 3 with in two weeks. My son took longer and wasnt fully trained until he was alittle past 3 1/2. You might have more success if you waited a little longer.

I wanted to try Dr. Phil's idea but I don't find the doll.
http://drphil.com/articles/article/264/
My son moved very slowly down the potty training tracks but we hit goals and moved along. First thing in the summer we would go out and play in just underwear and pants. If he made a mistake, no scolding just change and continue. We had the potty out with us. This took a few weekends and soon my son didn't want diapers during the day. Night time was different. He ware diapers almost another year before he got bedtime bladder control.
E.

Dear M.,
This is a great age to start potty training, but she may not be physically ready to be completely trained (no accidents overnight etc.) so just ask everyone to take her often to sit and try and get excited when something happens...she may then work on it herself, depending on her personality...but the important thing is that you work on it. even what you do in the early am and evening will get it going..so many moms wait until 3 and even 4 that is a year later than they should have been done. So many little ones are afraid and stressed at the idea of using the chair, so starting to get her used to it is where to begin. Show her the new chair let her check it out and sit on it with or without pants and when she is comfortable there then start. Also if she has a regular time for her bm then try to get everyone to put her on the potty then. She will begin to ask to go later, so expose her to the program as much as possible and in a few months she will be ready and it should go smoothly. When she begins to wake up dry that is a great time to look for results to happen. Hope that helps a bit....my son was done at 17 months but we started the bm potty thing at 9 months...he did that at 10 every morning and I didn't want to change him when I didn't have to....we used cloth diapers...couldn't afford the paper ones and if I could they could not be undone once attatched...diapers have changed a lot in 30 years....I started taking him every hour or two at first and at 17 months if he wet his diaper he would take it off, paper ones he would pull the stuffing out, so we went to undies and he was done, and woke up dry. My daughter was 2 and that was hard, though I started early as well she prefered to pee somewhere other than the potty and it took more work. Relax and here a little there a little and it will happen, but make it a fun activity and not a get it done job now when she is so little... When she becomes ready you will see results and she will let you know, and then when it is your days off this spring you can put undies on her when you are outside and she can get the idea quickly. congrats to you for starting now so it will be easier for her.

Hi M.-

You seem to have gotten plenty of responses and I'm not sure that mine will be much different. I am also the mother of a 16 month old and a nanny to a 17 month old. I was also a former preschool teacher for 5 years.

I think the best thing to do at this age is bring your daughter to the potty with you, using key words for her to catch on to what your doing. Maybe eventually getting a potty for her to sit on and explore also.

But really, children "potty trained" at this age have their parents trained more than anything. The don't have the physical ability to control the flow of their urine. So if you can train yourself to put your daughter on the toilet every hour that may work but really children are best potty trained between 2 and 3 years of age when they are physically capable and mentally capable to understand the process.

As a preschool teacher, with children as young as two, we began changing their diapers in the bathroom standing up and having them try sitting on the potty at every regular diaper change. We never experienced a child that entered class fully potty trained by two, and also had very few not trained by three.

I'd give it a little while, and just begin introducing the words and actions now. Being around another little one, already potty trained will probably be a plus in the learning department.

Good luck!

Unless she has already shown significant signs of interest and readiness for potty training, 16 months is awfully young. Are you sure this is the right time?

I work full time and my son is at day care half the day. I am lucky to work from home and pick him up at lunch time - then he goes down for a nap. But, to me bottom line is consistency. You need to have your sitter and Nanny on the same page and willing to be consistent. Take your daughter to the toilet every hour. We have both the little porta potty and the a seat that fits over the regular toilet with a foot stool. In the begining our son was more comfortable on the lower potty chair and now he only wants to use the big toilet.

I agree with some other moms that your daughter's too young. If you start too early, it will take FOREVER, and will be very frustrating. When she's ready to do it, you'll know, and then it could take just a few days.