Help with Teaching "Proper" Use of a Carseat to the Inlaws

no one seemed to agree with my choice to leave my son rear facing (he is 2 now) and i tried to ignore it as i was the only one that usually took him out anywhere. but when we flew out of state to visit family and they said they had a car seat for my son i was very uneasy to discover that it was not a rear facing seat nor was it installed properly and they were getting upset at me for reinstalling it at the airport. i ignored them at the time and when we got back to their home i got on the Internet and looked up some of the pro-rear facing videos on your tube. i showed them what could happen to a young child if not rear facing or if the seat was not installed properly and asked if it was worth it to risk the child's life. no one said much in response but they left me alone about my choice. send your in laws some videos like that maybe it will click a switch in their head. Good luck and # 1 importance is the child's safety i love my mom but she doesn't think about the safety of my son so i try to not leave him alone with her. price we have to pay to keep our kids safe

I agree -it's incredibly important. Explain to them how carseats can make injuries even WORSE if the seat isn't installed properly and the child isn't in it correctly. Let them know you're not scared of their driving, but of everyone else's! Also remind them that they can be ticketed for failure to properly install and use the child seat if they're pulled over! Unfortunately if they refuse to be worried about safety, then maybe they'll be worried about money! They can got to any firestation and make sure it's in there correctly and the child is in correctly.

I say just put your foot down and stick to your guns on this one. This is your child and his safety comes first. Sometimes the only thing people understand is bluntness. Tell them that they don't do the carseat right and therefore you can't trust them in this one area. If they are willing to learn and take it seriously then cool, if not, they will just have to go places with your son when you are there. You are doing them a favor, if something happened to your son in their care they would be devastated. In this case I would even put my foot down with my hubby. If he doesn't think it is that big of a deal, then just tell him you do and that is the end of it. I only put my foot down on a few really serious issues, and this would qualify for me. Best wishes, you are definitely doing the right thing by putting your son's life above uncomfortable family dealings. Take care!:)

I am 100% in agreement with you. I had a similar problem with my own parents. They refused to install seat properly. I had to be blunt with them. I told them they needed to take it to get professionally installed and practice with the installer. I made them understand that their moments of laziness is not worth risking my child's health. They now always install carseat correctly.
You need to have your significant other talk to his mom and dad and be firm about this. If he is too much of a chicken and cares more about his mom's feelings than he does about the well-being of his children then you will have to be honest with in-laws and tell them exactly what you wrote above. Why would they so blatantly disregard the health and welfare of their grandson? Do they want him to get hurt? When they get in the car themselves to they put their own seat belts on wrong? NO! Putting a seat belt on is NOT rocket science. Their refusal to buckle belt correctly is effectively saying they don't care about the safety of your son. I would not entrust these people with your child. If you do and they get lazy about belt and get in an accident you will hate yourself and them FOREVER.

You should print this off and just hand it to them,

Gotta love in-laws, huh?
I don't have any great advice, just some encouragement for you to stand your ground and not to let your son in the car with anyone you don't feel safe about him riding with. Ever. You are totally right here, and while some things are worth compromising over to keep peace in the family, this is not one of them.
My local hospital, fire department and police/sheriff's department will schedule appointments to teach you how to properly install a child safety seat into your car and then to install the child into the seat. Is anything like that available where you live? Maybe your in-laws would "get it" if it came from someone else like that.
Best of luck to you!

Stick to your guns. If they wont use the car seat properly, its not safe for your son to go with them. If they fight it, get your husband involed. have HIM explain to htem that the car seat cannot do its job if they cannot use it properly. They may not see it as a big deal, but its your sons life, and if they care about him taht much, they will at least take hte time to use the car seat properly.

Good for you for knowing what is safest for your son.

I am usually not very confrontational with family, I have a really hard time with it. But for this one, I would totally stand my ground. I would absolutely forbid them to take my child anywhere, period. This is too important. I usually say to stand up for yourself and your desires as a mom, but do it tactfully, but in this case, tact obviously isn't working. I would do some googling, and find as many personal stories about carseat safety as you can stomach reading. I would print them all out and hand them to your in-laws, pictures included. They are being so disrespectful and endangering your child's life. Would they drop him from a 3 story building just for kicks? This is the equivalent of the damage that can be done to a child not properly restrained in an accident. And your husband needs to step up and back you up on this, forcefully. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, this is completely unacceptable on their part. Good for you for defending your child, he cant defend himself. Good luck.

In our community the police department has an officer who will come to your house and explain the use of car seats and how to install, etc. That might have some impact.
Another idea, instead of the hassle of uninstalling/reinstalling the car seat (which if done properly, takes some work), why don't you have them use your car? I trade with my mom instead of messing around with the seat. Then it is all set for him.

What is itt about inlaws and carseats, anyway? We had just been in an accident and my inlaws came to pick us up. My FIL buckled my son and I checked it as I always do...sure enough, the the straps were just buckled but not tightened. They were so loose! Later that week when we were leaving town my MIL buckled my daughter in and her bottom straps were not buckled! YOu would think that especially after just being in an accident they would pay more attention. Not properly buckling my children and doing other things like running around in a parking lot as a game...and my inlaws just don't understand why my kids can't stay with them without me.

Good ideas about showing them youtube videos and having them listen to a professional about buckling car seats. I'm going to try that on mine.

I would advise you to check out www.seatcheck.org and find a certified cars seat check person in your area. Then tell your inlaws when they have done the seat check and PASSED, they are allowed to take the baby. They will not let them leave until they know how to properly install and use the car seat!
This is NOT to be messed with and these seat check professionals will put the fear of God into them.
I think with the older generation, that didn't use car seats, and just laid their kids on the front seat, they tend to think all this "carseat hullaballoo" is overkill. They need to be educated! Stand firm on this decision. I think your husband also needs to verbalize this to them.