OK ladys I turn to you for help and advice agin! Ever since my hubby and I started dating he always talked in his sleep. It dose not happen all the time but about once a month. I always kinda thought it was funny. We would have a conversation that makes no sence and I ould tell him about it in teh morning to see if he could rember. He couldnt' and we would ahve a good laugh about the silly things he would say. My hubby is in the air force and so we did not live togather our first year of marrage, as he was in Korea. when I joined him after that in Italy I notced that some times when he wes falling asleep he would do a kinda tick thig where he kinda jurck his legs and arms. I tolled him about at adn thought maybe he should go see a doc about it (but he wont).
When we move here he started sleep walking. I found him one night just standing in out son room and I almost had to yell at him to get his attion to get him back in bed (he didnt rember that eather). Well last night I think he was having a bad dream or somthing because He started hitting and kicking me. I said owe and somthign like what the H---! he said sorry and snugglend me. Aginwhen I talked to him about it he dosnt rember. H feels bad about it 'cause there is no way he would ever hurt me. So I dont know what to do I have never delt with this kinda thing. I dont know if I should try to wake him up or not. I am scard that he'll fall down the stares. or hit me agin in his sleep. I know he wount go see a doc about it. So how do I deal with this. Is there any good books out there I can read. how have ya'll delt with things like this. aI could use any help here
Hi S.,
My mom began sleepwalking about ten years ago. She eventually was diagnosed with narcolepsy but it took many years before they finally diagnosed her.
If your worried that he might fall down the stairs then you may want to encourage him to see a doctor.
Warmly,
A.
No advice about sleepwalking, but the full-body jerk as he falls asleep is pretty common. I get the same thing sometimes. As I'm falling asleep, it suddenly feels like I'm falling and my body jerks. Then I fall asleep. It doesn't really seem to mean anything, and probably isn't connected to his sleepwalking. You can read about it on Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnic_jerk).
Everyone jerks when they fall asleep, we just don't realize it because we're asleep.
With the walking and hitting, why don't you go see a doctor yourself and ask him what to do? I've had to go to the doctor for my husband before because he won't go unless he thinks he's dying. Seriously, the only time he has gone voluntarily is when he had skin cancer, when he had a giant cyst on his arm that looked really scary (and required minor surgery), and once when he ended up diagnosed with shingles (his chest hurt so bad they thought his lung had collapsed). The doctor can give you tips on how to deal with it when it happens, and if it's really important that he gets checked out, he can maybe give you some info that will "scare" your husband into going in himself (like that sleepwalkers sometimes go for a drive, jump out windows, etc. and may never know that they even sleepwalk).
Also, try reading up on Web MD.
First off... I'm sorry you are having to try and deal with this I know it's a real struggle. I am a poster child for sleep disorders exactly as you have described your husband has So i really appiciate the true struggle it is to deal with someone with these behaviors. I do have the advantage that my husband is bigger than me and can therefore pin me down and wake me up when i'm having 'episodes'. The most effective thing for me is to be woken up so I strongly suggest that you wake him up when he's having a hard time.
The other things that help me is relaxation exercises. Different breathing exercises and such as that before bed makes a big difference. For me I have more episodes when i'm stressed so trying to keep my mental stress down makes a big difference.
Also I know he's not interested in going to the dr. and I don't know what he was doing in korea or italy but could PTSD be an issue?
good luck and remember that he really has NO control over this but you do need to feel safe being with him so talk to him and see what he is willing to do to help you feel safe.
He may need to see a sleep specialist. Even if he doesn't want to go to the doctor, there may be an underlying problem that needs to be addressed.
I have night terrors of the violent kind and sleep walk as well. For me, I experience these episodes more frequently when I am especially stressed or hormonal - like postpartum - so my doctors feel it is linked to hormones. My husband has had to soothe me back to sleep many times and I usually have no recollection. Most of the time I'm looking for a baby in the bed when there isn't one but sometimes I have attacked my husband thinking he was a stranger or monster or alien or something else that is just ridiculous - he tells me I yell at him "get away from me you scary monster/alien/ghost/etc"! It's totally irrational and thankfully my husband is able to laugh it off - apparently my attack skills are very lacking! Even though I usually do not remember what happened, I do remember the fear that I felt when the night terror is happening. It is very real and very gripping.
When he is sleep walking, it is best not to wake him as its is very disorienting. It is better to let him wake up on his own or gently guide him back to bed. For the night terrors, my hubby has had success in talking to me very calmly and telling me that the baby is in his own bed (our son is now 2) or that he has scared the bad guy away. It sounds so silly in the daytime, but I swear when they are happening I believe that there is SOMETHING trying to hurt me or get to my family. Maybe you could use these techniques if your husband starts to be violent again.
Anyway, since there are some cases where a partner has severely beaten or even raped (meaning sex that wasn't consensual) their loved one while asleep and have no memory of the act, I would encourage you to have your hubby seek help immediately out of concern for your safety and for the overall health of your relationship - I'm sure neither of you want to face each night wondering what will happen.
One thing that may help convince him to go and would also help the doctors is to keep a log of when he walks or thrashes out in his sleep. Since there are so many things that can lead to sleep disturbances I think it is very important to have it checked out - it's a very common problem and is nothing to be ashamed about :)
Best of luck to you and your family!
I dont know about the hitting while sleeping or sleep walking thing (though unless it starts happening every night then it was probably a fluke thing) but my hubby does the same thing while he is falling asleep - his body will twitch or jerk sometimes. That is nothing to worry about, its just your body's muscles relaxing while your brain is shutting down for sleep. I have noticed myself do it sometimes too. Its funny because if we are talking at night or something and I see/feel him twitch, I always know when he is falling asleep and I can either wake him back up or just let him go. Don't worry about that one, its normal, and he shouldn't have to see a doctor about it. For the other issues, if they keep happening often, a sleep specialist would be better to go see than a regular doctor. Good luck!!
I have the same thing, but I don't get violent. I wouldn't worry about him falling down the stairs or anything. I would appeal to his love your you and your family and try to get him in to a phsyciatrist or something to see if they can try some hypnosis on him. If you don't want to do that, maybe try seeing a kinesiologist or talk to a chiropractor about some accupuncture or accupressure. It's amazing what those types of things will do to help. You could also maybe try NAET. They usually try to help with any "weird" thing that is going on. They focus on Allergy Elimination, but I know a girl who goes in for depression and anxiety, they help people with brain fog and ADD, or ADHD, too. It may be worth a shot. Here's a website to find a practitioner. http://naet.com/ Usually docs that practice that are Chiropractors.
Good luck!
