Help with Potty Training

Updated on July 01, 2008
C.G. asks from Clovis, CA
15 answers

Hello, My two year seven month old daughter made great progress about two months ago with potty training. She no longer has "pees" in her pants, even through the night. This has been pretty consistent with no accidents even through the night. She pooped a few times (2 or 3)on the potty but has made no progress in this area. Even when I know that she has to go, she will not go on the potty (kicks and screams). I have asked her why and she says that she went poop in her underwear. I have been very positive and she showed all the signs of being ready when we started. At this point my patience are wearing out and I need a new approach. It is frustrating when we are on the potty one minute and won't stay on it and then poop 30 seconds later. I should mention that I also have 3 month old baby but overall adjusting has gone very well. Any suggestions???

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M.G.

answers from Redding on

If I understand correctly, she may be a bit impatient. Try reading some books while she potties and give her some time to go poop and something she enjoys while doing it! She, like my son, is probley anxious to get back to playing and wants to speed up the potty process. We sometimes read 6 books at one sitting to finish business and sometimes he goes poop and 5 minutes later has to go again because he didnt finish because he was too anxious to go play! Good Luck

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C.C.

answers from Fresno on

I think that's pretty normal, really. My solution was that I made my girls go around wearing a dress and no underwear on. And then I told them they didn't want to go poo-poo on their feet, so they'd better make it to the potty! With my youngest, I did have to hold her there on the potty at first. She would try to climb down and was so mad that I made her sit on the potty, but once she had pooped in the potty a couple of times, she "got it" and I didn't have any more issues. The other thing you might try is if she's sitting on the regular toilet, try sitting her on a little potty on the floor, or vice versa. You never know what might work with kids this age! Good luck!

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C.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi, my daughter was the same way, she took to potty training very well except did not want to sit on the potty to poop.

I bought a little potty, and when I can tell she needs to go poop, I put in in her bedroom and she goes in there and will poop in that potty. I have no idea why (maybe it is easier with a potty that is lower to the ground?) but it works...

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C.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I went through the same thing (my girls are 2 years and 5 days apart). My oldest would go #1 in the bathroom just fine, but would only do #2 in a pull-up. I never made an issue of it and she transitioned fine.

Another option would be to offer a reward (buy a book, stickers, choosing what to have for dinner, etc) for going #2 in the toilet. Don't underestimate small rewards. My girls got hyped up on stickers.

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B.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Since you know she can control her bowel movements, it is time to get tough...really tough. Here goes. Make her clean up her own messy panties. Have her take them off, dump it in the toilet, rinse out her panties in a little bucket, and clean up her own bottom and change her own clothes.

Even though she is less than 3, she will get the message loud and clear. She is clearly trying to control this situation and you should not have to play this game with her.

I know this sounds tough for such a little one, but I guarantee it will work and quickly.

Good Luck!

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J.G.

answers from San Francisco on

I think it's normal. My friend told me the other day the same thing happened with her daughter. Everything was going well and they thought they were done, but she refused to go poop in the potty and only in the diaper. She said it took a few more months before she started to use her potty. I would just give her time and not pressure her. It will happen!!! Best of luck!!

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Z.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi C.,
Don't underestimate the influence your second child is having on your first-- regression often occurs when a new baby comes, and I'm impressed your daughter is doing so well with peeing in the potty. I would recommend talking to your older daughter about how frustrating it can be to have a baby sibling, how she must feel jealous sometimes-- just let her know that all her feelings are to be expected. Also, a stash of her favorite (cheap) toys to be awarded when she poops in the potty would not hurt.

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T.S.

answers from Sacramento on

If you are using a potty chair or ring try letting her sit right on the big potty. This worked great for my son's friend and then for my son (both 2 years old). Let her hang her little bottom into the toilet with her legs over the stides and her hands holding the bowl (she figrue it out). It think its a more natural squat-like position and (not to be gross) helps them push it out.

Good luck.
T.

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A.G.

answers from San Francisco on

REWARD, REWARD, REWARD. I am a firm beliver in positive reinforcement, and for us, because we had the same issue with Maddie, it took one month and the reward of a trip to the Monterey Aquarium as her motivation. We tracked her progress on a calendar with stars and she did not get her trip until she had pooped in the potty with no accidents for 2 weeks. We gave her m&m's (she doesn't get much sugar on the day to day, so this was like gold for her) as a motivator while she was working toward her goal. What would totally jazz your little one? Make a game or star chart out of it. She'll get there!!!!! Hang in there.

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A.P.

answers from San Francisco on

My son loves to blow out candles. So when we were potty training, everytime he went he got to blow out a candle. It worked great! If there's someting else she may really like that can work too. But reward only when she uses the potty.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Dear C.,
My niece had a terrible time going #2 on the toilet. She would kick and scream and freak out. I used to get upset because they even spanked her for going in her pants. Never pee-pee....only poop. She was afraid if she went on the toilet, the poop would get on her, which made no sense since she was going in her pants and it was TOTALLY on her. Anyway....little kids see things in their own little ways and it turns out, she was afraid if she went in the toilet, it would splash back up and try to get her. As if it had a life of it's own. Once they got that part figured out, they had her watch as they put the poop from her panties in the toilet and flush it bye-bye. But, they didn't let her flush with the handle unless she pooped in the toilet after sitting on it. I guess seeing that putting poop in the toilet and it didn't jump out like it was gonna attack anybody did the trick. She wasn't afraid of it anymore. Give it a whirl. Stick with it!

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My older daughter backslid on potty training when the baby was born. She would stand & look at me & pee on the floor! We started a reward chart. She picked the stickers. She got a sticker on the chart every time she peed or pooped in the toilet. She was able to earn small rewards for a smaller number of stickers & larger rewards for a larger number of atickers. Smaller rewards were things like a trip to the ice cream store or a local park. Larger rewards were things like a ride-on toy she wanted, & a trip to an amusement park for younger children. She had to get a lot of stickers for the amusement park! We counted how many stickers she had each day & talked about how many more she needed for her goals. We just ignored accidents & cleaned them up quietly. This worked in a relatively short period of time, a month or two. She got positive attention for doing soemthing that big girls do. I also let her help get diapers for the baby & help as much as possible, which also made her feel like a big girl.

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R.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi C.
My son did the same thing. What worked like a charm for us is to give him strawberry syrup in his milk if he went 'big potty' in the toilet. That kid was soooo motivated he would go in the bathroom 2 or 3 times a day to 'try'. After he got the hang of it I would only allow him to have strawberry milk once a day regardless of how many times he actually went poop. But to this day he will tell me that he's going to go big potty and will I please make him strawberry milk. The added benefit is his little brother (21 months apart) has always known what the key to getting strawberry syrup in your cup is and has never had a problem with pooping in the toilet. Hope this helps.
R.

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L.R.

answers from San Francisco on

My son loves it when I read on the potty. He will often sit there until he poops. Maybe it would help to take the focus off the pooping and get her relaxed enough to go.

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A.T.

answers from San Francisco on

I have the same problem, but my daughter is 4 1/2!! I don't know what to do myself. My cousin had mentioned her daughter did the same thing and she took her daughter to by pick out her own special underwear. My cousin told her if she pooped in them they would go in the garbage. Well it worked for her. Her special underwear were being tossed out. By the 3rd time she stopped. It didn't work for me, maybe it can work for you.

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