Help with Naps for My 4 Month Old

My son is now almost 2 years old. We napped together until he was about 1 1/2 an only stopped then because it was summer an just too hot for him to sleep on me. It seemed that when he was reay he just gave it up on his own and now naps alone, in his bed, with no crying or protests. And now that he's an active toddler, I actually really miss those days when he would cuddle up on me and nap. My advice is, enjoy it while it lasts.

I was the same way w/my daughter. The only thing I did was hold her until she fell asleep. She's three years old now, and still likes the comfort of mom so I'll allow her to sleep in my bed until she falls asleep. She still gets up in the middle of the night and crawls in my bed and holds on to me. I think it's a comfort thing and there's nothing wrong w/it. Also, my daugter was breast-fed, so I think there's a correllation with that as well. Hope that helps.

Hi, My son is now 10 months old and was THE WORST SLEEPER EVER!, so I understand and wanted to share what worked for us.

Basically, once he was good sleeping on his own at night, the naps just followed suit. That didn't happen until last month, though. So, because there is some scientific evidence that letting a little baby "cry it out" isn't good for him, I sucked it up, and rocked and nursed and did whatever, until he was about 6 mos old.

At that age, my son at least suddenly seemed more able to fall asleep and stay asleep and was just a little more developmentally ready to be on his own more.

If your mom-in-law is there to help, I'd take it. If she wants to rock him for his naps, great. Again, for us, the main thing was getting him to go to sleep at night on his own--once he could do that, the ability to nap well just followed.

Whatever you end up doing, just remember that this too shall pass. It's crazy how they get big so fast. You won't believe it but you'll miss the helpless and fussy phase.

Good Luck.

If he has a swing and likes it, I would try putting him in his swing for napping. All 4 of my kids took atleast 90% of their naps in their swings. And then if they were sleeping in it when I was ready for bed at night, I would just pick them up and put them in their bassinet/crib. And then as they grew out of their swing, I never had a problem getting them to nap in their beds, which was usually around 6 months. Hope this helps.

Have you try putting him in a baby swing? That worked for me.

Hi T. -

Looks like you already have some great ideas from others here. Thought I'd add my .02

My littlest one isn't quite as old as your boy, so maybe this won't apply at this point but I'm finding that he really still likes to be swaddled then rocked / swung / vibrated to sleep.

So if that means using the stroller or driving him around the block in the car and letting him nap in his car seat or using the swing or a vibrating bouncy seat or carrying him .... it's all about the same thing for him -- movement and feeling contained.

I'm sure that living with a Grandma who overrides your choices from time to time must be difficult. See if one of these other ideas resonates with her -- finding a way to cooperate with each other is a gift of a lifetime you can give him starting now.

hth,
A.

How about the stroller? We roll it right in our house.
Good Luck,
N.

Hi there,

I can emphathize. My girls are now almost 10 and 15 and when they were little I had to rock them to sleep (my choice) and then after I settled them into their crib, I would pat their backs until they were truly asleep. I wasn't much of a "let them cry" mom, so I guess I pampered them way too much - but I was the mom and I made that decision. You can try that, as well as nicely talk to your mother (or MIL) and simply state that you are the mother and you want to be able to make the choices in your child's life, whether good or bad. They cannot save you from making mistakes, no matter how much they want to or try. I hope this works. I know it sounds harsh, but it does work.

BTW - I lived with my mother when my first daugther was born because I was divorcing her father - so I really can empathize.

My son was the same way. He came to a point where he did not want to be held. I promise, you are almost at that point. I tried and tried to get him to sleep alone, but we both ended up crying. Then all of a sudden, somewhere in that 4th month, he was fine being alone to nap!!! There is a lot of research about this, about the fourth trimester as they call it. I have learned that when my son is ready, he will let me know and it is not worth the fight and heartache involved! I had a moby-type wrap and a kangaroo korner sling, so when he slept, I just wore him until he hit the point when he wanted to sleep alone!

In my opinion, four months is a little early to let him cry it out - I would wait until he is closer to 6 months. It is a gradual process of teaching a baby to put themselves to sleep, but once the process has been a success everyone benefits. I recommend reading "The Baby Whisperer". That book has a lot of great advice about how to get a baby to go to sleep. I am also a fan of Weisbluth's (?sp?) "Healthy Sleep Habits" book.

You may also want to let grandma know (or have your husband talk to her since she is his mom) why you are letting the baby cry, if that it what you choose, and ask her to respect your techninque with your child.

Try to establish a routine for nap and bed time. Read a book, put on soft music and rock him before putting him down. If he cries, sooth him by either picking him up and rocking him for another minute or rubbing his back. He needs to know that you are there. If you make him feel secure, he will start to learn the routine. Also, let the soft music continue to play while he falls asleep and only use that CD for nap and bedtime so that he begin to associate it with sleeping.

I agree with alot of the others that you should establish a routine. My son liked to read a book, listen to music, etc. I also had one of those little aquariums that played music, it worked like a charm. When he is still awake but a little sleepy is the best time to put him in the bassinet/crib for nap/bedtime. Although I didn't let my son cry it out until about 6 mos. we did allow him to cry a little to fall asleep at nap/bedtime. We wouldn't let him cry for more than a few minutes (maybe 5-10) but it wasn't wailing it was more like wimpering. The first time I did the bed/naptime routine I
read to him for 45 minutes before he was sleepy enough to put him down. By day four it only took about 15-20 minutes of reading.

I had similar problems with my in-laws and naptime. They thought that if my son was tired he would just fall asleep. My son needed to be put down and he would go to sleep, if they held him he would eventually fall asleep but he wouldn't sleep as long or as soundly. He would wake up either early or several times throughout the nap. They really do need to learn to fall asleep on their own. I know so many parents that thought it was cruel to let their child cry at all and now they regret it because their children have horrible sleeping habits. My son sleeps through the night without a problem, he doesn't come into our bed unless he is sick. He had a bedtime routine at about 4 mos and has had a set bedtime ever since. Of course, we change it as we see the need. But I know of alot of parents whose children are up until 10 or 11:00 every night and they go crazy trying to get them to bed. I couldn't deal with that.

One other thing I think you should know is that you are going to have many problems with your husband's mother if he doesn't set things straight now. She will interfere with everything you do. I didn't live with my in-laws but I lived very close by. I can almost guarantee that you won't have the same belief on many things (sleeping, eating habits, etc.). There are so many things, you should just let her know now that you are the parents and she needs to respect your wishes. It's only going to get worse and it's not worth losing a good relationship over. Don't let it get to the point of no return. Good luck to you.

Have you ever seen the papasan swing they make? I don't own the swing only the chair but I was reading the reviews on the toys r us website on the swing because I am due again in June and considering buying it. Anyways, about 90 percent of the reviews raved about this swing, it goes side to side and front to back depending on what your baby likes. Many people said it was a lifesaver and the only way they could get their baby to sleep. Might be something to look into, you can just go to toys r us website and look at it and read all the reviews. Good luck.

My daughter has been sleeping through the night (apart from feedings) since 2 weeks and it is because we let her cry. She got it quickly that she was ok and she stoped crying after the 2 weeks. Anytime she did, we knew she was hungry or needed changing. So, all that to say I don't think letting him cry will harm him. As for not working with grandma, if you choose to let him cry, she needs to abide by that. He is your son so she will need to just work with you. If you choose not to let him cry, you can work that out. Hope that helps a little.

T. :)

I have the papasan swing and I think it was the best purchase I could have made. My baby is now 7 months and napping in his crib, but when he was a newborn and up until about a month ago he napped in his swing, he even fell asleep for the evening in the swing, then we would put him in his crib when we went to bed. So many people told me that the way I was doing it was a no no because he would become dependent on the swing, but one mother told me to just do it if it works now, and he will let me know when he doesn't want the swing anymore. Sure enough, she was right. I noticed that once he could roll over and was sleeping at night on his stomach, he couldn't really get comfortable in the swing, so that's when I started putting him in the crib, and now he falls asleep on his own, no hassles. I did this gradually though, I started taking the swing away at bedtime first, then 2 weeks later I started putting him in the crib for his afternoon nap, then a week later in his crib for his morning nap. Now he naps in the crib as well, but on occasion when he's beyond tired and won't settle, I put him in the swing to nap and it works like a charm. Also, try a pacifier so he can suck himself to sleep. I only give my son the pacifier at nap/bed time and he sucks away as he falls asleep.

I wouldnt let him cry it out just yet.He still depends on you at this point.At 6 months it is ok to let them cry a bit.Now when I say,"Cry it out a bit", that doesnt mean for hours.Tell your hubby that he needs to talk to his mom about the way you want to parent your child.Try to get a routine down....sing, music(soft), and or bath....one hour before bed.Lay him down tired, but awake.Dont wait till he is asleep to put him in his place to sleep.Also, once he is asleep, is he sleeping well?

My son seemed to fall asleep and sleep well in his car seat. I know some worry about them becoming dependent on it and not sleeping in their bed. I would put the car seat in the bed to get him familiar with the view, but he just seemed happier all snuggled in the "bucket." He easily weaned out of it as soon as he gained some minor mobility like rolling and productive wiggling. I think at that point he was just able to move around enough to get himself into a move comfortable spot if necessary and didn't need the car seat to hold him there.