Help with a Bedtime??

I understand your frustration. My daughther is a terrible sleeper- she has been from day one and still is at 2 years old. It is so stressful, but know you are not alone.

First of all, he's definitely not getting enough sleep. My 2 year old still naps every day and gets more than a total of 8-10 hours of sleep- a 10 month old requires much more sleep than that. He is probably so overtired that he simply can't settle down. It sounds totally counter-intuitive, but sleep begets sleep. When my daughter has a great night's sleep (like 12-13 hours), she will turn around and have a fantastic nap the next day (2-3 hours); when she gets a bad night's sleep (like 8 or 9 hours), she is miserable the entire next day and takes a short nap if she even naps at all. Now, the trick is to get him on a routine so that he's gets to that point.

I would absolutely re-introduce the naps. Most 10 month olds still take 2 naps every day. When my daughter was 10 months old she was taking a morning and afternoon nap every day. She would go down for a nap about 2 1/2 - 3 hours after waking up. I would also give him an earlier bedtime. You don't want to just suddenly start putting him to bed at like 7, but every day push his bedtime back about 15 minutes. At 10 months my daughter went to bed really early (like 6-7 PM). She did better going to bed early because she would get a good night's sleep- if I kept her up later, she would wake up even earlier in the morning and be miserable and it just starts the vicious cycle over again.

My daughter has always taken forever to fall asleep (it is completely usual for her to take 2 + hours to fall asleep!!) This does not mean she's not tired- it just means she takes a long time to settle down. Your son might be the same way. For almost the first year of her life I rocked her to sleep. Around a year I had to resort to CIO because I couldn't sit and rock her for hours and hours every time she needed to sleep. She still takes an extremely long time to fall asleep, but now she usually plays quietly and happily in her crib to settle herself down. I leave board books and stuffed animals in her crib so she play while she's settling down. And if she's in her crib, even if she's not asleep, I will go to bed myself with the monitor so I can hear her if she really starts crying.

Hang in there! Sleep difficulties are truly some of the most frustrating and stressful parts of parenting. I can't tell you how much sleep I've lost over my daughter's lack of sleep! Good luck!!

I cannot even imagine....

Did you check for teeth? If it is not something like teeth or illness, it may just be becoming a habit. The singing and playing also could be too much stimulation right before bedtime. It is counterintuitive, but cutting the naps make him overtired and less likely to sleep at night. My son had similar sleep issues, so I feel your pain. I sent him to day care for one week when he was 14 months, and that cured him of his napping problems. He followed what the other kids did, and napped when they napped. (I have to add that I was SURE he would not nap at daycare, and the teachers assured me that he probably would....they were right!) It cost me $250 to send him to daycare for a week, but it was more than worth the money! After that he napped like a champ. He still has stretches of bad sleep and naps, but overall, he generally sleeps pretty well. You really need to fix this behavior before he becomes a toddler. Also if he is constantly over-tired, his daytime behavior will just get worse and worse (ie. tantrums etc. starting in a few months). A 10 month old should be sleeping more than 8-10 hours.

This sounds like my daughter, who is 3, and still doesn't sleep. She will also stay up for 15-16 hours and I am usually exhausted. You sound like you are doing a great job of having a bedtime routine and as long as your consistent maybe he will get the idea. :) Mine never did, but maybe one day she will. Good luck and I will be checking back to get some ideas.

I always found it was far harder to get my daughter to go to sleep if she was overtired or had missed a nap than if she was well rested. I think they are too wound up and agitated if they have not had enough sleep. I would not let your son sleep past 7 am, try to get him to take at least one 2-hour nap in the middle of the day, and try to get him in bed no later than 7:30. Good luck, I'm sure you are very frustrated.

You could also try patting his back, that encourages him to stay laying down and may help him unwind. I don't know if I still felt this way when my daughter was 10 months, but I know when she was a little baby, I couldn't make eye contact with her if I wanted her to relax and go to sleep, so I would keep my eyes mostly closed, open just enough to peek at her progress once in awhile.

Hi, Single:
How is your routine during the day?
Just want to know. D.

I'd skip the leap frog toy and read a story instead. The visual stimulation is the same as a TV or video game.
He might need more exercise during the day. Does he have a walker or and exercircle thing he likes to be in. Take him for a walk in the stroller and get him some fresh air.
If he wants to stay awake - let him. Just leave him be. As long as he's in his crib, I'd head to bed.
Get some sleep.

You didn't mention if he is home with you or in daycare. I think he is young to not nap and could possibly be so overtired that he can't relax himself. My children always fell asleep to music and that seemed to soothe them. I would do a nap after lunch and then make sure he has plenty of fresh air and activity. Try implementing story time maybe that will relax him. Some children just have a difficult time settling themselves down and need some help. Good luck, you must be exhausted.

I really feel for you! Obviously if he's not napping, and then staying up past midnight, he' severely sleep deprived.
Anywhere in the first year of life, the MAIN cause of not sleeping is hunger. I learned that the hard way getting up with my 1st-who I thought was full twice a night until she was 1. My aunt (mother of 12) taught me that trick and my next 2 slept thru by 3 months, and my daughter slept thru 3 days after I increased her food and never woke up at night again.

Even if you're sure he's eating enough during the day, believe me, he could eat more. You need to add a couple of snacks and meals to his diet. Offer him food non stop, if he's hungry, he'll eat. If he's not, he won't, so don't worry about over feeding him. It will take a few days for his body to register the change and sleep longer at night.
Meanwhile, make sure he is getting enough exercise and fresh air in the day, let him doze at least once for a nap mid day.
Food is the key issue, and make sure it doesn't have sugar! More veggies, whole grains, and milk than fruit, and make sure the fruit is natural and use plain water, not juice (unless EXTREMELY watered down) at this point.
CIO should never be a battle of the wills hours long. He should need to sleep and has learned you will give in. Don't try it until he's been eating more for several days, then put him down, walk away, and do not come back in.

Oops-just noticed your fruit in the night routine-big NO NO! Lots of natural sugar-my kids are batty after a few grapes after dinner.

I agree with the other moms who suggested that he is probably really overtired. At 10 months many kids still need 2 naps a day, so I think not doing a nap at all is a bad idea. Additionally, at 10 months they still need 13-14 hours of sleep a day and there is no way your son is getting anywhere near that. You didn't give us much of an idea of what his daytime routine is like. We went through a bad sleeping period with my son and I found that if he missed his afternoon nap bedtime was a nightmare. I made sure he got a nap by whatever means I could, for us it usually meant an hour walk in the stroller. Some experts don't recommend that you do that, but for me I had to work on one issue at a time and bedtime isn't going to improve if the naps don't. I also don't know what time you attempt bedtime or when your son wakes for the day. We aim to have our son sleep for 11-12 hours and since I work and he gets up around 6:30 that means he goes to bed around 7. That may seem really early to some people, but I also know that on rare occasion when his schedule is off and he's up past 7:30 it's impossible to get him to sleep. It takes at least twice as long. I would say try an earlier bedtime and the bedtime routine you have sounds pretty good, but I would try reading instead of the toy.

Just a side note, I read a recent study that said kids who sleep best have parents who are attentive to their needs during the bedtime routine, rather than ones who stick to a strict routine (http://gantdaily.com/2010/08/11/for-infant-sleep-receptiv.... Good luck, I know it's really challenging to be a good mom when you are so low on sleep.

I think you should re-introduce a day time nap. I think at 18months he is too young not to nap never mind 10 mths.My son is three and still naps for an hour during the day.
We tried to cut this nap a few months ago and it had the oppositive effect,he was wide awake at 11pm,his behaviour drastically decreased.So we quickly re-introduced the nap
Maybe this is the case with your son,you are in a negative cycle,where he is not getting enough sleep and then been overtried.
What advise to give?-stict with routine,maybe lie down with him until he gets used to going to sleep and then you could tranfer him to his cot.I personally don't agree with cry it out method.Maybe take him out in his pram during the day and he might nap.Leave him sleeping in the pram on your return.Try to really stict with it for a few days,of napping during the day,night time routine and bed at the latest 9pm
Hopefully it will get better
Best of luck
B.

I bet he's hungry or teething. Try feeding him more in the dinner/evening time, and giving him some Tylenol, then 2 hours later, give him Ibuprofen. Around 10 months old, he could be getting some molars in. It's really painful, but it's been explained to me as like a dull pain that babies can be distracted from while awake and playing, but it hits hard once they settle down to try to sleep. I bet this helps. (Obviously, talk to your doc about medicine, and proper dosing, yadda yadda...but you can "cycle" the tylenol and ibuprofen like I recommended, so that it lasts longer, and they're always covered by one or the other pain killer. With pain killers, they work best when taken Before the pain is bad.)

Three thoughts –

First, an overtired baby will probably have an even harder time going to sleep. I have this problem myself sometimes if I don't take care of myself. I get into kind of a nervous buzz, and can not relax mentally or physically.

Babies often respond well to being worn in a carrier while you work, and can relax and sleep even if they can't let go when laid down. They like the rocking motion, warmth, and vibration as you move around. The scent of mommy is soothing. If you can get your son to nap more and longer during the day, his nighttime sleeping may improve, too.

Also, we live in a much more toxic home environment than we're designed for. Common household cleaners, toiletries and soaps, all things scented, contain chemicals that can become airborne. I've been in group testing situations where young children, who might be sitting quietly and coloring, for instance, get a couple of drops of some extremely diluted chemical squirted under their tongues, and in a couple of minutes curl into a wailing ball of misery, or start raging and bouncing off walls. It can be quite dramatic. Many of the parents report that their kids can't sleep.

If you want to test whether a cleaner environment makes a difference for your little guy, you could try bagging up all your normal cleaners, air fresheners and scented candles, fabric softeners and household cleaners for a few weeks, and use only unscented detergent for dishes and clothing, baking soda and vinegar for cleaning. If there's no noticeable difference in a month, that's probably not the trouble.

Finally, do whatever you can to take care of yourself. A very wise pediatrician pointed out early in my daughter's life, when she had colic for hours every night, that if I became tense about the situation, it would only make her experience worse, because babies are very sensitive to "emotional brittleness" in their nurturers. Would it be possible for you to get a family member, a neighbor, or even a hired babysitter once in awhile to give yourself a little down time, a soak in the tub, a yoga class, a walk in nature? You would do well to find some form of relief so you don't feel so fed up.