Help Please!!! My Adhd Son Yells at Me All the Time. Nothing Has Worked!

Is he on medication? Does it need to be adjusted if he is? Are there any activities he likes to do outside the house?

This summer I had mostly the same stuff with my 7 year old. ADHD- inattentiveness not hyperactivity. What I did find is when I started talking to the doctor and adjusting the meds, he stopped yelling so much. My boy loves baseball and art. When enrolled in a program that keeps him away from me and happy and enjoying other kids company (as much as is possible for him)he's happier.

I've also been reading parenting books for tips and suggestions. I really like "Scream free Parenting"...I think you can find it at Target.

Lastly, be careful of his diet. I know my boy is much worse when he has had a lot of high fructose corn syrup and red and blue dyes. Nutrasweet also tends to send him into rages. My boy like yours I'm sure is bright and funny, but these challenges are just exhausting. Keep up the good work!
C.

I'm sure you know what it is but I thought this site was interesting.

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/children_...

On this web-site it suggests to get involved in parent training programs. I hope you and your husband have done this because I have witnessed this behavior, firsthand, with one of my good friend's and her son. The saddest thing that I see is not the aggressive behavior that her son exhibits but the way her and her husband are inconsistent when disciplining and dealing with him and this has really become a huge challenge in their marriage. You and your husband need to be a team otherwise your son will drive a wedge between you. Patience, consistent routine, positive reinforcement and teaching him how to handle his frustrations the correct way, can help. (i.e. use your words....not your fists!). The program 1-2-3 magic program has helped my friend. She has had to learn to take a step back and speak in a softer voice when her son is in a rage. (RESPOND don't REACT.) I'm guessing your son may qualify for help in school and you probably have an IEP in place in school. Discussing these concerns with the school counselors and teachers and getting feedback from them will be very helpful for you. Through your school district's special education program, you may find support groups, guest speakers and parenting seminars that are offered free of charge or at a nominal price.

As for you, make sure you have an outlet too....regular exercise and a good network of friends and relatives will keep you focused and sane because I am sure you get the brunt of his frustrations. You can burn out easily and it's good you're recognizing that you are overwhelmed. This isn't your fault....don't blame yourself but recognize that you can't and shouldn't do it all yourself. Just continue to glean as much information about his condition as you can (knowledge is power) so that you can get the guidance and support that your family needs. Hang in there....he really does need Mom! My heart goes out to you!

hi J.,

I have a 19 yr old with ADHD, and recent onset of severe bipolar. As others mentioned here, it is critical to balance his medications - you will likely be changing and adjusting his meds over the years as your son changes and grows.

Being argumentive, angry, explosive and not recognizing boundaries is part of ADHD (as you know), I am not familiar with ODD, but it seems to be more common recently - keep in mind without the right medication your son is fighting World War III on the inside and you are likely his only safe outlet.

It is critical to nip this behavior quickly - you will likely be getting calls from the school soon. Also (trust me on this one) as I mentioned to someone else yesterday, don't just turn away because he is hard to be around (been there, understand) -- otherwise, he will very soon be a teenager with a nasty temper who is bigger and stronger than you are. He will then become a young man with a nasty temper who is bigger and stronger than the women he will date and marry.

Step back, strengthen yourself first so you can take this on, get out a baby picture of him and look at the picture while you pray for him - then get him back to the Doc (or another Doc if needed).

Getting him into outside physical activity is a great idea as well (martial arts is great for kids with ADHD and ODD - self control is part of what is taught). Wish you all the best.

hugs,

W.

PS...don't know if you've tried this, but positive reward for good behavior with a chart worked great for my son at age 7. Make a real simple 'chart' with things like 'I didn't yell at Mom all morning', or 'I didn't kick the cat all afternoon' - break the days into mornings and afternoons. After so many stickers he gets a reward - you might be surprised how much he takes to it. My son (still) loves checklists, charts and schedules ;-)

My 3 year old daughter is very hyper and i have wondered if she is a little adhd sometimes. It runs in the family on her bio fathers side. She used to do this same thing to me as well. She would hit , bite , yell, throw toys at me, etc. and i tried everything i knew to make her understand that she was hurting my feelings. I tried ignoring it which made her even angrier, but one day when our home life changed and her bio dad wasn't in and out of her life anymore confusing her, it just stopped. I think it was all about attention and being angry because she was confused. Now that she has a male figure in her life that is consistent she is more respectful than she was and always tells us she loves us and gives us hugs and kisses. Maybe your son is reacting that way because he misses his father, and dosen't know how to tell you that. He might just be taking out his anger and frustration about that on you. I would say whenever your husband has free time talk to him about making a regular time every week to have one on one time with your son and him and see if his attitude or anger changes at all. I'm sure you are doing everything that you can to solve this,keep your head up,let your son know you are the boss, and let your husband take a step in and try. Good luck i hope everything works out.

Only thing I can think of is to ignore it. The SECOND he yells get up and walk away. Do this EVERY time he does it. Explain to him the first time that people do not respond to yelling and that you will leave every time he does it. This will at least tell you if it is an attention seeking behavior because he will hate that you leave. Attention seeking behavior can even be negative attention. So in the past if you have talked to him, yelled at him, etc he was getting some type of feedback. This way he will get NOTHING out of it. That is about all I can think of. Whatever you choose to do make sure you are consistent and do it for several weeks. You don't always see results right away.