Help! Our Toddler Will NOT Stay in His Bed.

We put one of those child locks on the inside knob of his room. That way he can't get out but we can still get in quickly to get him. Other people put up gates. Basically I treated it like when he was learning to sleep the whole night in his crib on his own. We let him cry it out a little and then go in and lay down next to him for a bit then let him cry it out for a bit then lay down with him. After about a week he got it. He actually didn't really cry at all - he yelled a little but he wasn't crying. Sometimes he'll play on his own for a bit in his room before he lays down and takes a nap. That's fine with me too- it actually extends his naptime some.

Hi there L.,
How do you put him back into his bed? I always see Super Nanny deal with this problem by putting the child back into the bed without any words, or eye contact. You just put them back in the bed every time quickly. In and out. Every time. They get tired of this eventually and give in. My sister actually had to do this with her 2 year old. For some reason he was getting out of his bed and my sister used this method. It worked for her, even though she said it was the hardest thing to do because her son was screaming and hiding in his closet. He finally stayed in his bed and from then on (with the occasionally problem) he sleeps all night in his big boy bed.
I have a 20 month old who doesn't like her crib, so I am considering putting her in the toddler bed. So, I will most likely have to implement this method myself.....fun fun!
Good luck to you.....

You got some good advice so far, and I justa want to add some food for thought.

Did you build up to the transition or go cold turkey? Did you explain to your little dude that his routine would be changing?

If he is getting up as much as 18 times then, in my opinion I have to say he doesn't get it. His bed has changed, and his comfort zone is gone. Therefore, he's looking for it in you...the one place he is secure.

This transition can happen smoothly or take time, but it mostly requires readiness and patience on everyone's part. My son is 28 months, and not ready, and so the big boy bed sits and we nap in it sometimes but I refuse to push it. With anything in my opinion timelines and guidelines are nowhere near as important as my little dudes needs...

I have heard from Ped's and friends that it is best to wait until the toddler is climbing out of the crib or too big for it. My Godson slept in his crib until well into his third year, and only after they couldn't keep him in it anymore. He loved the room his big boy bed gave him, and it took him a couple of nights to get used to it.

You can try gates, crying and all the other stuff...just make sure he's ready and that he understands the transition and what's expected of him.

Kids flourish and thrive on consistency and communication.

Best of luck!!

Everyone is different on what they do and when they do it. My daughter who is 3 is still in a crib and never ever is standing up-so I figure if she is happy there so be it for now-mind you her crib is a huge convertible crib so room is not a problem.Do what works for you. L.

Hello L., we have an baby gate at my daughters door. When she would get out of bed she would at least be safe in her room. She would call to us a lot and I would get out of bed until I finally realize this has to stop. We would just let her cry as long as I know there was nothing really wrong with her I would not go in her room. About 4 nights of this she realized that everyone is sleeping and she would put herself back in her bed. Best of luck I know this very hard. Everyone needs there sleep.

Hi L.,
My husband and I just went through the same thing with our 2 year old. What we had to do (like some other mom's already said) was carry her back to bed with no words, and just lay her down. After 35 minutes of this we decided to hold the door closed. She did not like that at all. We had to keep going back into the room because we would hear things crashing to the floor. It got to the point where we had to empty her room of everything, (even the closet doors) only leaving her bed. The first night this whole ordeal lasted over an hour, but we were trying to comfort her through the transition. The second night we let her cry it out after removing more items from her room. After the 3rd night of letting her cry it out for only 5 minutes, she went to sleep just like she did when she had her crib. We are slowly moving her things back into her room every night she sleeps in her big girl bed without incident. Good luck!

Hi L., Your son is young to be in a bed. At his age he has no impulse control. If you can bring back the crib, then do it, if he was climbing out there are mesh tents you can get to put over the crib to extend your use of it. If you need to keep him in the bed then my advice is to put up a baby gate on his door( I don't like locked doors for kids), and then when he gets out of bed you ignore his requests. You can go and tell him one time that he needs to sleep and that you are not coming back until the morning, after nap etc... then don't. It's ok if he falls asleep on the floor or wherever, eventually he will learn that you mean what you say and he will stay in his bed. If you keep going to him then he will keep getting rewarded for this negative behavior.
Good luck and best wishes,
K. Smith
Sleep Consultant and Parenting ooach
www.theindependentchild.com

My son is two and was crawling out of his crib, making that a hazard. If, for whatever reason, you feel he needs to be in a big boy bed then you do it! Don't let people criticize you for your decision. What has been working best for my son is letting him take a car or two to bed with him. I FIRMLY instruct him to stay in bed. I tell him he doesn't have to go to sleep as long as he stays in bed and is quiet (so he doesn't wake his brother.) He plays with his cars for a few minutes...sometimes up to an hour and then falls asleep. This gives him a sense of control over the situation. Usually he doesn't realize how tired he is until he sits in the dark on his bed. It doesn't usually take long before he's asleep. I don't leave lights on for him...so he plays on his bed in the dark. I know sometimes it's hard for me to go to sleep, so I don't imagine it's any less hard for him to settle down and relax after a long day.

We've also done the baby gate thing...but I tend to be a worry wart and think if there was a fire then he couldn't get out. That is another personal choice tho! We also have a cheap video monitor so I can go about my stuff and see if he's out of bed and catch him in the act! It holds some mystery to him how I know he's out of bed without being in the room. LOL....best of luck!

L.,
I have been going through the same transition with my 2 year old. After 2 weeks of 3-4 hours of trying to get him to go to sleep by laying in the room with him, I decided I needed to try something different. I put a gate up outside his bedroom door and let him "cry it out" just like you would if it were a crib. It worked like a charm the first night. The first 2 nights I took the gate down after he fell asleep. The first time, my husband woke up thinking he was kicking the cats off the bed, only to discover it was our son. The second time, we woke up to a thud when he fell off our bed. Now the crib stays up all night and he calls to us when he's ready to get up in the morning. Occasionally, we find him asleep on the floor, but we just put him back in his bed. Good luck!

my son would not stay in bed either, it was the fact he could get up and did not like sleeping alone in a room, plus the bed was to open for him, we first bought a rail that slides under the mattress, this puts up a rail about 2 -3 feet higher on one side, it worked for a bit until he fiqured out how to climb over it.. then it was us sitting next to him until he went to sleep.. bad choice I do not reccomend this as it took us 2 yrs of doing this, bad bad mistake, once I was fed up with that, and knew this kid is not going to stay in bed I cut his bedroom door in half, removing the top half of it, turned the lock around to the other side, and locked it, if he wanted to get out of bed fine, but he is staying put in his room, now he doesn't feel afraid behind a closed door, and we could see in, this took him two weeks to finally learn when it is bed time its bed time, finally after about 2 yrs with the door like this we bought a new door toput on costs us about $ 40.00 best forty bucks I ever spent on a problem.

Hi L.,
Consistency is the key. If you give in once, he will always think there is a chance. Super nanny's method really works. The first time he gets up you say 'time for bed Sean, love you' and tuck him back in. The second time 'time for bed' and tuck him back in. After that you don't speak but just keep tucking him back in. It may take a few nights if he is used to you giving in in the past but once he sees there is no pay off he will eventually get it.
God bless you as you go through this... it will be worth it in the end.
C. :-)
www.guardiansleeper.com

Place him in his bed with clear instructins to stay in bed. Walk out of his room and leave the door slightly ajar so that you can see him, but he can't see you. The moment his foot is about to touch the floor walk in and say "Stay in bed. Put your head on your pillow. It's nap/bedtime." Gently place him in bed and kindly insist that he put his head on his pillow. Use no other words than repeating a few key phrases. Making my children put their head on their pillow cues them to sleep and makes it hard for them to easily get out of bed. Leave the bedroom and then stand by the door again so that he can't see you. This might happen 15-20 times the first day, 10-15 times the next day, and so on and so forth. The key is to frustrate his efforts at even getting his foot on the floor - that's very important. Be patient, consistent and calm. Repeat yourself like a broken record and hang in there! It will pay off. I have 6 kids and this works every time.

I saw some people's posts and just wanted to say that my son is 3 yrs and 3 months old and I recently put him in the bottom bunk bed. My daughter is on the top. I fall asleep with him and he cries whenever he wakes up and doesn't see me there even if it's just going to the bathroom. I am having the same problem as you so waiting till they are older, will not necessarily help. Also, I always read that the way they fall asleep is the way they will stay asleep so sleeping with your child till they fall asleep will not necessarily help. In my case, it hasn't. It's actually made it worse. SOOOO I will need to take the same advice as you, keep putting them to bed. But I think I will have my husband do it when I finally get up the energy to do it!

This is an easy fix if you stick with it.
Every time he gets out of bed, just take him by the hand and lead him back to bed. The key is this: go thru the bedtime ritual at your house only once..........then if he gets out of bed you cannot reward him with anything, that means no more kisses, no talking to him, no water, no reading to him again, no nothing every time he gets out of bed after putting him to sleep. Be firm with him and just put him back into bed each time. With no reward of any kind, he will soon stay in bed...............

My oldest son was getting out of bed too the first couple of nights. First we put up a pressure gate on front of his door so that when he opened the door he couldn't get out. That lasted about five minutes of him kicking it until it just popped out. I eventually had to hold the bedroom door shut while he cried on the other side trying to open the door. He fell asleep crying on the floor and I had to reach around the door to role him away to open the door! He never did it again though! My other boys did well in bed with a couple of toys. If they got out of bed for any reason, I took one toy away. After the second toy they got the message and stayed in bed. Now my third son is 4 1/2 and never gets out of bed. He loves sleeping with his animals and cars. Sometimes he is up for over an hour, but at least he stays in bed in the dark (with a blue nightlight) without any problems. Good luck!

Would love to see all the responses!

try putting a baby gate up in his room and leave the door mostly closed so you can hear him and it stays dark in the room. i know when my 18 month old got put in to her toddler bed she got up a few times here and there once she realized that she wasnt in a crib (and she still gets ups time to time). what i so is take her back to bed and tell her that i dont want to see or hear her up again. if she gets up again i will tell her the same thing and take her back to bed. if she gets up a 3rd time then i give her a firm (not hard) swat on the rearend and take her back to bed (that usually does it). this will pass your son is realizing that poeple are still p when hes sleeping. good luck!

When I transitioned each of my kids into a big bed at about the same age, I always stayed with them until after they were asleep. It was part of our routine. Usually I just sat there listening to music until they drifted off, patting or rubbing their backs when they were wiggly.

At first you're probably looking at sitting there a long time. But after awhile you can cut down your wait time to 15 minutes of sitting with them. Once he's a bit older you can start leaving the room for short periods while he's awake(excusing yourself to the bathroom, into the living room to check on his dad, up to get a drink) and progress into leaving for a longer time. Its two steps forward and one step back pretty often when they are small like that, it takes time.

Now each of my kids (9,7 and 4yo) will pretty much tuck themselves into bed and stay put. Even my oldest will stay put if she doesn't fall asleep immediately. And I always check on them before I go to bed - so i know where they are at. I never did like the whole idea of closing the door to keep kids in thier room. I once babysat a little boy who learned how to climb out of his crib and then would curl up in his closet. One day his mother found him sleeping on the top shelf of the closet. If you can't see them, you don't know what they are doing.

best of everything.

Hi L.,
this too shall pass. We were going crazy and dreading nap time and sleep time. My daughter was the same way. We decided to make her room an extension of her new bed. We really safety proofed her room and put a baby gate at the door. She just roamed around and eventually fell asleep somewhere around the room. She soon figured out that her room was not that exciting and her bed was much more comfortable than the floor. She decided to stay in her bed after a week or two of roaming. I hope that helps.

Is this a new behavior for him since he's been in his own bed? If it's just started because it was a transition from a crib to a "big boy bed" then..... If so- then I'm sure that you are doing a nice ritual- e.g bath time, reading time ( no more than a couple of stories) snuggled together. If not, then begin it. Then "It's time for bed sweetie." Kiss him- leave the room. When he gets up the first time, say something like "It's time to sleep in your bed"- and take him back to bed. After that when he gets up- don't say anything, just take him back to bed. Try not to make it a battle, just a fact of life.

I'm assuming that he is active enough during the day so he's tired at rest time ( but not overly active, where it would be hard to wind down).

If you've recently transitioned him from sleeping in a "family bed", then I don't have an answer for that. We didn't use one, and I think that the issues there are different.

Good luck L.!

do u still have his crib? i would go back to that..my son is 34 months..still in his crib..keeping him in there til he turns 3.