Help on Night Wakings on 13 Months baby...and Co sleeping...some Advice?

The only question I could ask before giving advice is why are these children not on cups, and 3 regular meals a day, instead of keeping the parents awake at night. I had my 3 sleeping through the night from 6 weeks on, in their own bed (crib/bassent) and was never sleep deprived with any of my three children. if she is crying at 13 months in her bed she is rebelling against bed time, they problem is the children are weaned so late in life that everything before that has become habit.. I've been a mom for 26 years and honestly I don't remember anyone having these issues when my kids were baby's/toddlers. J. and Connie

I think this is a sleep cycle issue. My son (now 6) sleeps in his own room and still wakes every night. He comes into our room sometimes (2 or 3 times a week) and I take him back to bed and tuck him in. He co-slept with us til he was 3. This is just the way he is . His sister (8 now ) also co-slept with us til she was 2.5. She sleeps like a rock all night and always has. Bright side for the mid night waker... He never had an accident or wet his bed at night. His sis had to struggle with bed wetting til just recently. Anyway, when my son was about your baby's age, I would just gently rock him back to sleep and eventually he learned to self soothe. Also, weening is a HUGE step, so I would take sleeping alone slow. My 3 year old is now sleeping in a toddler bed in my room. She weened several months ago and then just about a month ago we moved her to the toddler bed. Next step, her own room (I am a big time believer in extended breast feeding!) Take it slow and every one will be happy and well adjusted.

Everyone has sleep cycles through the night when they briefly wake up and then go back to sleep - most of the times, adults don't even remember waking up because we roll over and go back to sleep. The best way to let your little one learn to self sooth is to ignore her in the night (not as easy with co-sleeping but it can be done)! Perhaps you can "play possum" and pretend to sleep through her wake up periods - the more attention you pay to her when she does these wake ups the more she will learn that you are OPEN ALL NIGHT - either for breast feeding or fetching water or whatever else.

Good luck.
blessings,
Stacy

Hi I went through this, she will start sleeping longer stretches w/o waking. My son is superactive and bf until 27 months and it was hard weaning but I still cosleep with him. Now I lie down with him and he sleeps on his own and when he does wake up at night (rarely), I would gently say "mommie's here" cuddle him a bit, touch his arm and he falls right back to sleep, in the beginning after weaning he would wake up every 2 hrs and we had to rock him back to sleep then the time he would wake up got further and further apart and now he sleeps through the night, send me a message if you want more tips and I'll try to think back what else we did for him but it will get better, pls trust this, my son seems to be the most active toddler in the world and if he got better at this, yours will too. God Bless you and your family

We cosleep and I nightweaned number one at 18 months when I was pregnant and exhausted with number 2!

My son never slept through the night until he was two. And he is now 33 months and sometimes sleeps through the night. We put him in his own bed right around 2.

One thing to remember is that some adults don't sleep through the night, so I can't expect my children to. They don't have the tools to self-soothe at that age, whereas I do. I can get water, go to the bathroom, adjust my bedding, think through thoughts, etc....they can't.

The good news is that my second son, at 9months, sleeps like a champ. Well, he nurses a lot at night, but we cosleep, so half the time I don't even notice!

Good luck. Hang in! this too shall pass. I am just not a proponent of Cry It Out. I personally think it is cruel and teaches children to learn that you aren't there for them. I am bracing myself for the responses from the pro CIO crowd....they don't like to hear that, but I really do feel as strongly anti-CIO as some feel pro-CIO!

Well, my little one is almost 16 months and still sleeps with us. She generally sleeps through the night, but there's the occasional awakening. We'll have to start weaning her soon, but I'm pretty sure it's not going to be easy. Every child is different. Don't beat yourself up, things will fall into place. Do what you feel is best to comfort your child.

I have a similar prob. and my LO is 19 mo old, nursing still and cosleeping. night weaning is a huge step I agree w/ first post, so congrats! I do not nurse my LO at night (just started maybe two mo ago) and she is sleeping better. I offer her nuk, water, or cows milk she will usually take the water and go back to sleep....but she does wake a lot still. she will sleep about 5-6 hours then wake up for a drink then after that she will wake up every hour or two till she is up for good. it is very annoying to my sleep bc I cant settle down again. I also wonder if it is bc we co sleep and she just has closer 'access' to the milk so she wants it more. what has been working right now for us is having her nap in her 'big girl bed' in her own room (I tried in our room but she cried so much and just climbed in my bed that i had better success in her own room as my bed was a bit more out of sight out of mind) it was all BABY STEPS. It is not easy to get her to sleep still for nap: nurse, rock, read, rub till asleep then I get 1 hr 30 min. but she is in her own bed that to me is step one (we started this around 15 mo in a small toddler bed walmart $50 bc it is low to the bed and she was walking already and we adapted the rails to be longer so no falling out) anyways sorry this is getting too long. just wanted to say that I think that maybe it is just our kids, that is how they sleep some are better than others or maybe it really is the co sleeping and being close to the milk. I really dont know, I am working SLOWLY on getting her in her own bed and I will let you know if that works....check back w/ me at the end of Aug bc we are going to try in Aug. LOL

I don't know how people can go so long without a full night's sleep. My son was easy and slept through the night on his own at just a few months of age. My daughter was not so easy. She did not want to ever go to sleep. No naps during the day after a couple months and wanted to be entertained or loved at all times. Once we realized that she didn't need to eat anymore at night, we knew we needed to train her to sleep more and get out of the habit of seeing us during the night.

The method we used didn't have a name at the time. It may be the Cry It Out method but we did not just ignore our baby. Instead, we would let her cry for 5 min. and then go in and physically lay her down and in a soothing, soft voice, one of us would tell her we loved her and to go to sleep and that we will be in our bedroom. Then we would let her cry 10 min. (torture for us, so we would have to take turns holding each other back) and after a full 10 min. we would go in and tell her again softly that it is time to go to bed and we would lay her down. Again, telling her the exact same thing. No long winded discourse on why, just simple and sweet, the same boring monologue. Then we would wait 15 min. and repeat the 5, 10, 15 if she woke again during the night. After 2 nights of her waking in the middle of the night and doing the same routine, she learned to put herself back to sleep. It took a 3rd night for her to go to bed without crying more than a minute or two, but we always made sure she knew we were there, we just weren't going to entertain her all night.

She learned that it wasn't worth waking us up as we weren't going to hold her, sing to her, rock her, etc. She was always one who needed her sleep, especially in high school, so I was glad she learned at a young age how to put herself back to sleep.

Of course, when our kids were sick or had a bad dream, one of us would go in and sleep with them. But kids were never allowed in our bed, unless it was a morning snuggle. That was for my husband to know that his needs were always important to me.

we did not cosleep, for several reasons it would not work for our family. but our son woke several times a night for a bottle. after a year our pedi told us he no longer needed the night feedings. our son was on formula (congrats for being able to breast feed) and he was in the 90% in weight. he ate cereal and baby food durring the day. it took us three nights for him to get use to it. we put him down, gave him 10-15 mins and went back the first night. he got so mad that we did not pick him up and get him out the second night we gave him 15-20 mins and he was sleeping. if he woke durring the night we gave him 20 mins. most every single time he went back to sleep. now if after about 5-10 mins if his cry becomes a screaming cry we would go calm him down. my hubby was best at this for some reason. a few other things we did were put black out shades in the windows, have white noise playing, make sure the room was cool with only enough light to walk around in, our daughter likes to be in long sleeve footed p.j.'s she will sleep all night while in one..if its a onesie she wakes up and her little legs are cold :(. my husband and i both snore and i toss and turn i would think these things would wake a baby because it wakes us up. if your still going to cosleep perhaps having white noise in the room will help with little sounds. with my second not being able to rock her to sleep because my son would make lound noises startle her awake. i would lay her in her crib and if after five mins (because she is sooo young) i would go get her. I felt so bad for her because she was tired and coulnt get rest. i realize that babies need there sleep too.

There are a lot of good points from the other moms...
Having your breasts too close at night is bound to wake her up- you need some space.
I moved my daughter in to her own room at 3 months, and we all slept better. It took 3 nights to wean her, and it will take 3 nights to get her used to her crib. And, once you get her sleeping through the night, there will be stretches where she starts waking up again. Then you have to do it all over again...
I found that each time we had to break habits (waking up, pacifier, bottles, sippy cups, etc...) it took 3 days. If you keep that in mind, it helps knowing that the misery will end shortly.
I hope that helps.

Congrats! I did not night wean until 18 months and that remains as a defining moment in my life :)

We tried the separation of breast and baby by placing my husband between me and my little one. I think it may have helped some, but I have been so sleep deprived the whole time (my daughter had severe allergies and needed the comfort through the night, and hence kept waking up) that I cannot remember clearly any more.

With our second little one, dad brings her over for her meals through the night and then takes her away ( we did this because we were having trouble getting every body asleep and staying asleep since it was suddenly a 2.5 year old and a new born), and this little one sleeps through the night. She is a better sleeper overall, but I think the separation of church and state must be helping too. It's hard to stay asleep through the lighter phases of sleep when you have the smell of goodies right in your face. Also, if I sleep with the baby, I instinctively put her to the breast if she so much as grunts in her sleep. With dad, he rocks her, soothes her and every single time she falls back asleep. Dr. Sears also recommends getting dad to help baby sleep through the night.

Best of luck! Let's hope something works soon. Sleep deprivation is so hard to deal with.

I had an 11-month old when I had my twins. I started giving him cream of wheat right after his bath at night, and he almost immediately started sleeping all the way through the night, usually going down around 8 p.m. and waking at 6:00 a.m. That was with a 2-hour nap in the morning! We never did let our kids sleep in our bed because we've always had a water bed and I was afraid they might suffocate, but if you can get her to start sleeping because she's had a bath and her tummy is full, maybe you can transition by staying in her room with her the first few nights, and then trying to let her stay by herself and just see how it goes.

Good luck!

Well all babies are different. Some breastfeed babies sleep through the night at any early age and some not until they are weaned. It sounds to me like she is one of the babies that really likes to nurse which isn't a bad thing but with you are right next to her all night in bed it's gotta be really hard for her to see you there are not be able to nurse. I would start putting her in her own room. It is a skill for babies to learn to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own. She needs to learn this in order to develop good sleeping habits. I'm sure she will cry and you can do different things to transition her into her own room. Like if your not comfortable with just putting her in her own room and walking out you can start with a bedtime routine and rock her to sleep then when she wakes at night give a good 10 or 15 min. and if she doesn't go back to sleep go in and rub her back for a few min. or until she goes back to sleep then once she is used to her room and bed you can start just letting her cry it out and after a few nights she should be sleeping through the night. Good luck I know it can be really hard.

Here's some info by Dr. Pruett regarding sleep and a link with more details:
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2010/01/09/...

Children’s sleep issues are among the more challenging developmental stages for parents to master.  But biology is on the parents’ side in this one, because sleep patterns mature over time just like other developmental skills.

* Polls tell us that one-third of American children and their parents sleep together some or most of the time before children start school. Co-sleeping varies hugely by culture and ethnicity. So think about what you want to do, and discuss the pros and cons with your pediatrician.
* Make sure your crib is safe (locking rails), that your older child’s ‘big bed’ has side rails, and if you are co-sleeping, that there is plenty of room.