HELP - NOT A Cat Person to Begin With!

Updated on May 03, 2008
C.B. asks from Oskaloosa, KS
26 answers

sometimes i really hate cats. ok so 8 years ago my hubby was working over the road and travelling a lot, so i got a kitty to keep me company, who turned out to be the best kitty in the entire world. she is sweet, well behaved, not too needy, etc. since then we've gotten married, moved across the country, and started a family. i have been feeling like she needs company because we hardly have time for her, so over the years we have tried three times to find her a companion, and ALWAYS end up with schitzo cats. i'm not even a cat person - i MUCH prefer dogs. i only got her to begin with because our apartment didn't allow dogs. SO cat #1 was completely psycho, and we had to put her down. cat #2 wasn't much better, and we found him a new home with my brother. i thought we were done with it but my husband has a bleeding heart and brought home cat #3 a few weeks ago. we immediately got him fixed, so he's ready to go. NOW. i just had to clean up POOP from under my dining room set. (we have one of those corner nook sets, with the bench, you know? so it was NOT an easy thing pulling the entire thing away from the wall and cleaning it up.) i did not lose it on the cat, however he is grounded to the bathroom until further notice. and i have now filled the gap in the corner with boxes so tight there's NO way he can get back there. so since it seems every few days it's SOMETHING...cat puke, cat pee, or cat poop, what am i supposed to do? i'm not hateful or mean towards this cat, my son and husband and i treat it well. but i've about had it with "cats" in general. (although i did tell it while i was cleaning it's poop up -and it's a male - it smells WAY WORSE than our female cat ever has! -that i'd be okay with it being homeless.) but i'm not heartless. i just don't know what to do. i'm telling my dear hubby that if he ever brings home another cat i'll throttle him...but what do i do with the one we have??

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A.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Have you taken the cat to the vet? It could be sick! My cat requires a special diet to keep him healthy. It costs some extra money, but it's worth it because of how much my kids love him!

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A.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I am feeling for you right now. Two things. One-my cats were throwing up every other day until I switched cat food. Seems Cat Chow is just too rough on their tummies. Iams worked for me. Since Iams is so expensive I buy it at Sam's and that lowers the price a little and I still buy Cat Chow and just mix them half and half. That seems to do it.
Two- we have had good luck with Manx cats. They are born with no tail typically and they are called "Cats for dog people". Very laid back and loving. Not too many problems. They were from the pound. Not expensive. Good luck.

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R.K.

answers from St. Louis on

Well, you have a few things working against you. Adult cats don't normally like other adult cats that they haven't grown up with. An adult cat will generally accept a kitten, though. So if your new cat came to you as an adult, there may be some secret warfare going on betweem them. Also cats are very territorial, and your older can owns the house - has for a long time. Even if the cats are not fighting there may be territory issues, and that includes the litterbox. Your older cat may have laid claim to it, not allowing the other cat to use it. In multiple cat households, the general litterbox rule is one litter box per cat, plus an extra one. This allows territorial cats to have their own box and submissive cats to have their own. The extra one is just case one or both cats has their own quirks. One cat may pee in one box and poop in the other. Or the dominant cat may own two of them while the submissive cat gets one. Also, some cats will not use their litter box if they feel it is not clean enough (just like we refuse to use a toilet in a public restroom when the previous person did not flush!)

The fact that your first cat had plenty of time to mark the house as her own has left your new cat in a very vulnerable position. This is probably very stressful for him - he knows he is intruding on another cat's territory and there is nothing he can do about it. That could be why he's puking, and definitely why he's peeing and pooping everywhere.

So, if you want to keep this cat, you need to make him feel welcome. Get him his own kitty bed or hideout, make sure he has his own food and water bowls, and definitely his own litter box. Make sure he gets his own love and affection and playtime. Make sure his food and water are not next to the litterbox - cats hate that as much as we'd hate to eat next to our toilet.

Cats are also sensitive to human emotions and it's possible your cat is picking up on the fact that you really don't want him there. Since you're the momcat, you need to let this cat know you're ok with him.

And if your first cat was really happy being the only cat and newbie cat is stressing everyone out, both your family and the kitty would probably be happier if you found a loving home for him elsewhere.

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B.C.

answers from Kansas City on

Maybe your cat is having a difficult time getting used to his new surroundings or the other cat. And, depending on the age and where you got him from he may have had some previous traumatic experience. I have two indoor cats (which I have had both since kittens) and I have two litter boxes...one for each of them. I've never had any problems with my cats not using them and leaving me special "surprises" around the house. There are a few things you should do if this continues, before giving up on the cats though...
1. Take them to the vet to have them checked out.
2. Try switching their food.
3. Give him some time to adjust to his new family and surroundings.

Good luck.

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L.B.

answers from Wichita on

First of all one cat will always be top cat. S., I find it is best to only have one gender at a time. Male cats spray when around a female cat. 3rd, bringing home a sick cat could get your other cat sick, and possibly your kids. Maybe you should get a dog. If you start with it as a puppy, it will grow to like your cat,. We have 2 boy cats(brothers) and a dog. They all play together and are very amuzing! Good luck!

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

Put a Free Cat in the newspaper

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H.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Does your cat have a litter box? Some are picky too and want them scooped out everyday. We got our cat from a farm and it wasn't an inside cat so I had to train it how to use the litter box which took about a week. We kept him in the bathroom until he learned how to use the box. He would pee in it at first but wouldn't poop in it so I scooped the poop off the floor and put it in the litter box and did that for a few days and I guess by him seeing it in there he started using it for both and is litter trained but still have those hair balls to clean up once in a while. All of my previous cats I had trained to go potty outside but they would have a litter box for back-up when we weren't home to let them out. This crazy cat now won't go outside. He will paw at the door to come inside and run for the litterbox when he comes in. I was hoping he would be easier to train to use the outdoors since he was born outside and had that part down but no luck with that but it's my daughters cat so she is the one that has to scoop his box everyday as he will also make messes on the floor if the box isn't cleaned often, plus I always hated the smell of the litter box so I can't stand it after a day either. We put a pet door in the door that goes to the garage from the house and his litterbox is in the garage so we don't have to smell it in the house but I still don't like to get in the car and have to smell it either so it gets scooped at least every other day but most of the time everyday and totally cleaned every 2 weeks. I would prefer no animals as they shed and cause more housework but he is a very friendly cat so I caved and let the kids have one. Cats are easier to take care of than dogs so the cat was their test before they can get a dog which they really want but so far I don't think they are ready to take the responsibility of a dog yet. I still have to remind my daughter to feed the cat and give him water and scoop the box everyday and they don't give the cat much attention and dogs require a lot of attention and we have a very busy life and can't be running home every 4-8 hours to let the dog out so the cat is what we have right now until our lives slow down. Also if you have 2 cats they need their own litter boxes. Some cats are territorial and will not share. My brothers cats are like that and he has to have 2 litter boxes- 1 for each cat.

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S.G.

answers from Kansas City on

Check with your local animal shelter, they should be able to give you the name of someone or an organization that takes in cats(but won't distroy) and find them a new home. My husband also brought in a cat. Surprise as he was not a cat lover. He found it homeless and thought we could find it a new home. Four years later we still had the cat. Lucky for us she turned out to be a good cat that kept to herself. Good luck. If you do look for another cat ask you vet, you can sometimes find older ones whos owners needed to move or have passed away.

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M.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

If it makes you feel any better, I have the same issue with my dog, Oliver. 5 years ago we got a puppy dachshund (Duke), at a flea market, who turned out to be the best dog EVER. I couldn't love this dog more, he's that good. So, a few years ago I thought about getting another dog, like a brother, so Duke would have a friend. My husband was happy with 1 dog but reluctantly agreed. That's where Oliver (the bad dog) fits in. He's a terrorist, except that he LOVES me. We talk all the time about having the Dog Whisperer over, b/c he's dog aggressive (except with Duke). Oliver uses everything as his toilet: the carpet, the tile kitchen floor, even the wall (I don't even know how; but I took a picture). Oliver is alpha male in that he bullies Duke: steals his food, attacks him, takes his toys/bones away no matter what we do to change him. I was worried when I got pregnant b/c Oliver is that bad. So what happened? Oliver LOVES the baby. Who would have guessed!? So in the end, the good dog, Duke, is my husband's dog, and the bad dog, Oliver, is my dog.

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I agree that the first thing is the cat needs to be seen and treated for parasites which is highly likely. I also agree that each cat should have their own litter box. Even if they share each others litter box, it's easier to keep up with the scopping. The litter should be of a high quality.

When a cat has diahrea, they sometimes don't make it to the bathroom. So we have 4 litter boxes in our home and have no problems. We also have 4 cats and still have no problems.

I also agree that your attitude is probably coming through. The cat should be given to someone that will love him and make him feel special.

Suzi

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S.T.

answers from St. Louis on

Take the cat to the vet to rule any medical issues out. Then give the cat some time to acclimate to the new house and baby. It might take some time. The last cat I adopted took 6 months to become used to my home. Cats are very senstive animals, and he can probably tell he isn't wanted. The cat deserves a home where he is loved, not one where he is resented.

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M.F.

answers from Kansas City on

i had the same deal. the one my ex brougt me had kitties bout 3 days later on my couch i had gotten 1 week before! i say get rid of it, responsibly, but if you think you're not loving the cat as it deserves, which is code for it's ruining my home.... get rid of it. i've been going through this crud with my in laws. i don't understand why people get animals, let then run the house and ruin it!!! it makes me crazy! i have groomed dogs for years, i'm all about taking care responsibly, but i can't stand the thought of my babies being raised in a house smelling like pet urine. i might be the fanatic. idk. good luck

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L.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Try two litter boxes. It may not be used to being around an 18 month old either.

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J.S.

answers from Topeka on

If you need a companion for your cat a really good one would a small dog. A puppy at first so your cat can be acustom to it and they will have alot of fun, and being around each other. I myself have a cat an dog who play an keep each other company while we are gone during the day. you'll see the change in yourself and the cats additutde and the rest of your famliy. J.

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J.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Why do you think your older cat needs a companion so badly? Is she showing behavior problems?

Honestly, the only time I've had two cats work together is if I got them both at the same time. Anytime I've tried to introduce a new cat into a home with an established cat, there was always tons of behavior issues.

Perhaps your kitty is just fine by herself.

Or perhaps you should consider adopting an older cat that is more laid back.

Good luck... I wish I had better advice.

J.
www.MindBodyBabyStL.com

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J.P.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi,
Not a cat person either. How about a little dog to keep the cat company. But beware...We had a lab before kids and she was our baby. Then when I got pregnant I thought she'd be lonesome and need a pal. So, we got another dog. Now I have TWO needy dogs. Sure they keep each other company but it is twice the work and I regret the day I got the other dog. He's such a love so don't get me wrong but I was crazy to add more work to my already busy house - now mother of two, with two dogs...ugh!

Good luck.

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J.L.

answers from St. Joseph on

This is a simple one. Cats are SOLITARY animals. They only want to hang out with their litter-mates or (Male cats only) need that 5min sex time (last longer that most men of our species :) LOL) Females would rather die than get humped at times. So there is really no need for "a companion". That is lap competition!!!
Another fact is also the smell of the male poop (potency) releases stuff into the air that could give your child mental probs down the road. Pregnant women should NEVER scoop a cat litter box. Young children really shouldn't be around the "fumes" either. One kitty is fine but two in my opinion is a no-no, especially with "Pepe La Peau's" reputation.

And this is coming from a cat person :) Good Luck!!!

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Carri, Good Morning. I love cats ( independent etc, cuddly sometimes) but dogs are more for me also. My first thought was to get a puppy. Most cats will welcome a tiny puppy into the family and sometimes even play and nurture them. Of course then you have to house break them and clean up the mess's they make until they can go out. I think Cat urine is the foulest smell around. Does it not have a litter box or just refuses to use it. Male cats will mark their territory, even if they are fixed. Sammi (female)our cat we got when our boys were about 7-9, they are 33 & 31 now and I had to have Sammi put to sleep about 4 yrs ago. Was one of the hardest things for me to do. I bawled all the way to the Vet with her on my lap, praying a cop would stop me for something and I would ask him to take her for me. :) Didn't happen.
I have never had a male cat in my home. Females dogs and cats in my mind are the best. I do have a male Shu tze (Bubba) he was the brother of my first little Shu tze Molly. She was about 18 when she passed away two yrs ago. I still miss that little girl, she was my shadow. Bubba is outside now as he took to wetting on the carpet under the table. He does come in alot though. He is about 16 yrs old now. He is still playfull and grandkids love him. I paid for Molly, Bubba was given to me. I would go to a animal rescue center now if I ever want another pet.

Good Luck with your Kitty Capper, I would get a puppy. *smile*

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K.K.

answers from St. Louis on

When we first got our S. cat, we had trouble with her pooping outside the litter box for quite a while until we figured out that she was just really skittish with things that smelled like other animals (our litter box was a hand-me-down that didn't bug our first cat at all). So maybe starting from scratch with new litter boxes (one per cat at least) would help with the poop.

As far as the puke goes, try keep an eye on what, and how, the cat is eating. Our S. cat also has puking problems, primarily from scarfing her food down too fast. Our vet told us to put a couple of decent-sized rocks on top of her food bowl (big enough that she can't eat them, but small enough that she can still get to the food) to slow her down. It's worked pretty well.

Good luck!

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H.B.

answers from Kansas City on

The biggest thing about this S. cat is that you don't know the history behind it. Cats do this type of thing for 2 specific reasons. 1. Sick or 2. Stressed out. You have given him 3 weeks to try to adjust but sometimes the adjusting can take a few months. My sister got a cat and her old cat actually is the one now starting to do the acting out. It is her way of showing her displeasure in the new cat. She would clean the poop up, tell the cat no, then take the cat back to the litter box and say good kitty. Now the cat only does it when she goes on trips. BUT it took a YEAR to get that adjustment in.
The thing to realize about cats is they aren't dependent on people. Being able to spend 30-45 minutes with you a day is enough for them. REalize they are still loved. If you don't think you can handle the adjustment stage (which I find irritating on the responses because they tell you to get a puppy which you will have to housebreak and that can take 6 MONTHS), then maybe just not let another animal in the door. Tell them thank you but you have changed your mind.

A.S.

answers from Kansas City on

It's possible the cat has an infection or maybe worms which can cause it to have accidents and throw up. Take it to the vet to make sure all is well.

You need to tell your husband that you don't want any more cats. While your husband's heart is in the right place, it's really not fair to the animal to adopt it and then decide it's not going to work, or to live in a house where it can feel it's not wanted. I'm the kind of person that believes when you adopt a pet you adopt it for life, and it's your responsibility to take care of it no matter what. I don't mean to be harsh, but there are other people out there who LOVE cats and and are able to provide a good home.

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J.C.

answers from St. Louis on

First off, I'm missing some info to properly help you. One is how old is the cat? Two is where did the cat come from? I'm assuming it wasn't a shelter since you said you had to get it fixed. Three is, long hair or short hair?
Okay, there could be several things here...
1. Cats don't always like other cats.
2. Cats don't always like to share litter boxes and food dishes.
3. Puke - could be hairballs - you can by "treat remedies" at your local store or if he will eat butter, that will usually work.
4. Puke could also be sign of urinary tract infection.
5. Not using the litter box could be sign of infection.
6. Fleas can spread worms, which can cause problems.
7. Depending on age - could need time to learn to use box.
8. Could need time to adjust to new living arrangements.
9. He may not like your brand of litter. My cats will only use the cheapest stuff I can buy, 'cept they do not like the Dollar General brand.

I do feel your pain because I do love cats & I had problems with mine & was also tired of the puke & the pee & the expense at the vets. Mine are on prescription cat food, now. Good luck!

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R.P.

answers from St. Louis on

Do your best to find a home for your cat. Put out flyers, tell everyone you know, add in the paper. Sounds like you don't need a cat at all....that's your choice. Do not take it to the pound or area animal shelter. These places are over crowded and have to put animals to sleep everyday for that reason. I'm not sure where you live, so try to find a no-kill shelter...look in the phone book, call an area animal shelter (like a Humane Society) and ask them to refer you to a no-kill facility. Your kitty deserves the best and if it can't be from you then do the right thing.

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M.T.

answers from Springfield on

In my experience cats are loners and don't like other cats in their territory. Our cat wouldn't let us bring another cat home even if we had to. I've had many cats in my life and they have all been that way. Are you sure that you need another cat? Maybe that's why you're having problems.

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L.J.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm really sad to hear that you euthanized a cat because you thought it was "psycho" Maybe you should consider adopting out the cat you own to another family that loves kitties and has others for yours to play with. If you don't have time for one cat, the answer probably isn't to get another. There are numerous oulets available to find good homes. Please don't put down any more cats for behavior problems. I would be glad to pass on info for you to get your cat a nice home.

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Carrie,
While I am a cat person, this male (the cat, not the husband) needs to go now! If not, your other cat may smell his doings (their sense of smell better than ours, so even if you think it's cleaned up-eh, maybe not), she may start following in his footsteps. It's a natural thing. If it smells like pee or poop, must be the place to go.

You have a young child. If the WRONG person comes in your house and smells cat deposits anywhere but the litter box, they could call family services and create all kinds of headaches.

Either make male an OUTSIDE cat, find him a home where he can be an outside cat or take him to a shelter if you have to. You may be able to find a No Kill Shelter, but they're not as easy to find as you might hope.

Remember, your child and your sanity come first.

If you need to drive point home to hubby. Save the next cleanup for him.

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