Hi moms please help me i am at my wits end and i don't know what else to do. Any suggestions will be taken and tried. Well my 4 year old daughter has out of no where developed a sever bug fobia. She has never been afraid of bugs before and It isn't any specific kind of bug its all bugs. I can't figure out where it came from all i can figure out is when it started (march). She wasn't around anyone at that time that would have said anything to scare her about bugs, and i can't remember anything that happened that it could have came from. It is so bad that when she starts to have a meltdown she will scream at that top of her lungs like she is being hurt and she starts crying and yelling and there is no calming her down. Everyone including myself, and my husband have all tried to calm her by telling her they are everywhere, and they are not trying to hurt her, they are scared of her because she is so much bigger than them, and we have all even went as far as trying to be silly about it by saying "look how dumb they are, see how they keep running into the wall, what a dumb bug" nothing has worked!! She has woke me up 8 times a night screaming saying there was a lady bug in her room (which there was not, It was a piece of fuzz on the carpet!) and even after i showed it to her she still was crying. She won't go play on her swingset because she saw a bug on her slide 3 days ago. And today was the final straw for me, we were at a restaurant and she saw a fly on the window next to her and started screaming at the top of her lungs, so i tried to take her to the bathroom to calm her down. I told her its ok the fly was just trying to get back outside and wasn't going to bother her, so we went back to the table to finish our breakfast and she saw that it was still there and she started screaming again. Everyone in there was staring at us and no matter what i said she wouldn't stop so we had to get up and leave after only taking a few bites of our food. I was so embarrassed!!! I was so angry and i am so fed up with this whole bug thing. We can't go anywhere or enjoy a day outside and i feel like a horrible mother because i cant calm my child, and i cant help her to get over this fear. Please help me moms!!!
Thanks to all you moms that gave advice about the bug phobia problem. I don't know what exactly worked but something did. We took a plastic bottle and filled it with lightning bugs for her one night and let her see they couldn't get out so she could touch it if she wanted and after about 5 minuets of crying she was carrying the bottle around the house watching them blink. We also got her a fly swatter so she could kill the bugs herself and she has taken control. She might cry whle she is doing it but instead of crying hysterically now she goes and gets a kleenex and squishes the bug and flushes it down the toilet and comes to tell me afterwards so that i can tell her good job. I hope that this was just a phase. Thanks again moms.
There is an episode of "Elmo's World" that features Bugs. It's on the "Elmo's World: Springtime" DVD (it has 3 episodes, including the Bugs). I have my daughter watch it periodically and I think it has helped in my overall effort to get her calmer around bugs. Good luck.
R.,
I haven't had to deal with this, however I think it's fortunate for you that there are TONS of "friendly" bug books and movies out there that might help. What about going to the library (by yourself) and finding some "fun" ones - cartoonish, with friendly bugs as the main characters. There is the BUG movie, The BEE Movie, even WorldWorld DVDs and morning t.v. show that has a few little friendly bugs in it (they are not the main characters but are often in the show flying around and helping). Maybe if you can work on "desensitizing her" through controlled experiences and "kid-friendly" shows it would help.
Also, keep pointing out to her ALL the times you see a bug and NOTHING happened to her. Take her on a walk. Look for birds, squirrels, butterflies, ants, etc. Make it HAPPY. Make it fun to see how many you can find (from a distance). You could even eventually giver her a little notebook to "write down" all the animals you find. I wouldn't make it ABOUT bugs, but more likely than not, you'll see more bugs than anything else. She can sit in a stroller or on a bike and just point them out, not go near them or catch them...just realize 'everyone' who lives outside.
I don't know why this phobia has grasped your daughter so strongly, perhaps ONCE someone was afraid of a bee and she has translated that into all bugs?
In addition to trying to find friendly and funny things to start exposing her to, I would try to work on her reaction. Let her know that screaming and crying is not appropriate. She is a "big girl" who can use her words and simply walk away from them. Also, start "rewarding" her when she DOES act appropriately - like a sticker.
I hope this helps! Let us know what happens.
I had a similar request last year (when my daughter was 4). The same thing happened to her--out of nowhere she became completely terrified of bugs. It was really bad because she loved the sandbox at our neighborhood playground, but naturally there were ants every now and then. She would completely freak out. I do not know where it started, but we just kept explaining to her that it's summer time, the bugs want to play with their bug friends too. They want/need to be outside. Then the same as you, explaining how insects are scared of her and how silly they are. At the moment, it didn't seem to work, but little by little, the phobia went away. She still won't let an insect crawl on her, but she's not terrified either. Give her time, try your best to be patient, and she will get over it.
My daughter is still terrified of bees, but I can accept that fear. I'm not fond of them myself, so who am I to be bothered by her fear, when I'm a s quick to get in the house. =0) Good luck!
Recently I saw a lecture about how to desensitize kids with phobias. Since this behavior is fairly new, I hope that it's a phase that will pass quickly. Until it passes, you can work on desensitizing her. Expose her to bugs in controlled environments... put ants in a closed container and let her hold the container... eventually have the ants crawl on her arm or something. It will be difficult at first.
Does she get scared with pictures of bugs? If not, start even slower with the exposure by reading her books that have bugs, especially when there are kids in the stories.
How you talk about bugs may help over time, too. You might mention that bugs help us have flowers and vegetables. Be honest about how some bugs bite, like bees, but we just need to leave them alone.
There are such things as social stories that have helped kids in the past get through a phase like this. The internet will help out there, but you can write your own. PM me if you want some help on this.
