Help! How to Get My 1 Year Old to Sleep in His Crib but I Live in an Apartment.

He's all warm with you when he's sleeping and then you put him on a cold mattress.
It wakes them every time.
He needs to learn to fall asleep in his crib (for naps, too).
It's going to take awhile.
Most kids will eventually learn to climb out the crib and he'll come to you anyway for a long time.
Co sleeping / family bed does work for some people.

I am not necessarily recommending this, but for a while, I had to get in the crib with my baby! For a while, after he got used to that, I could put him in the crib and sing him to sleep. But after we traveled, that all got messed up and I got too heavy from pregnancy to get back in the crib with him. So he's back to cosleeping. But if you are light enough, you could try my trick. Just test the springs after each time you get in. :)

You've got some great advice already but I just wanted to add that a little warning with your neighbors can go a long way. Go and talk to them and let them know what's going on. Give them your # and tell them to call you if they are bothered. I do this with my new neighbors concerning my dog and her barking. We've never had a call, most likely because I had the consideration of letting them know in the first place.

When we were training my daughter to sleep on her own - and also retraining when she regressed ( since that happens too! ) this worked for us :

1 - Keep her bedroom pitch dark at bed time
2 - We lay her down ( with binky) and lay down on the floor next to her
3 - She would stand up but then lie down to be closer to us
4 - We'd stick a hand through the slats so she could hold our hand
5 - We would basically stay there till she fell asleep
6 - Gradually we would spend less and less time waiting for her to sleep.

This went on for about 2 weeks until I noticed that her head would drop on my shoulder when I walked her into her room at night. Soon she started leaning towards the crib. After that I was able to put her down fully awake.

I can tell you now at 18 months - she sometimes throws those pitiful wails when we put her down - but I have a 120 second rule. If she's serious - her cries will last more than a minute or two. After 2 minutes I pick up her, check her diaper, rock her a bit and put her back down. And then I wait again to see if she cries. This will make for some sleepless nights for you - but if you are consistent you can break the habit.

Tks for the update!

He has learned to use you as his crutch to get to sleep. He is not a newborn, so you don't have those issues to deal with. Laura is right for how to deal with him first off. Sit down beside him ON THE FLOOR and put your hand through the slats of the crib and touch his leg, C.. If you sit in a chair or stand beside the crib, he will just stand up and cry, reaching out to you. If you sit in the floor, he will end up laying down in order to be closer to you.

Do it every single night until he is going to sleep fairly quickly. He might always cry a little, but that's okay. Once he has learned to SELF-SOOTHE (that's what it's called when a baby falls asleep on his own), then you can lay him down, say nighty-night and walk out of the room. It might take a while to get to that point.

If someone in the apartment complex asks why baby is crying at night, tell them that you are helping him learn not to sleep in mommy's bed and that you are with him in his room helping him. That way they will not think that you are abandoning baby.

You are doing the right thing - the longer you wait, the harder it is to get baby out of your bed. If you wait too long, he will start climbing out of the crib to get to you, and then you'll have to treat his ROOM as a crib. Or you'll end up with him in your bed until he's a very big boy.

Good luck,
Dawn

I live in an apartment too. Babies cry, it's a part of life.
Put him down, hold his hand, rub his hair, sing him songs. Stay with him until he falls asleep the first couple of times.
Does he have a lovey or binky or something that comforts him?
If he doesn't maybe get him something along those lines.
If you are worried about the neighbors I would maybe go down and talk with them (or over, or behind....wherever they are) and let them know what's going to happen. Cookies may help.
He may be upset with you the first couple of times you do it....keep with it! Don't start unless you plan on following through.
Good luck.
L.

Put him down in his crib and sit in the room with him reassuring him that you are there. Each night gradually move further and further away from the crib towards the door. Eventually he will be able to put himself down without crying. This may take some time but if you are concerned about neighbors it is an option to the crying out method. Also playing the same music when he goes to sleep each night will let him know it is time for sleep.

I am just going to give a public kudos to Bethyskids. I was going to suggest the same thing. I believe that a little warning to your neighbors does go a long way. :)
Maybe even distribute those foam earplugs people use when hunting. Joke, but could come in handy.

Try warming up the crib sheet before you put him in. You are taking him from the warmth of your arms and putting him down on a cold sheet. I'd cry too!

We live in an apartment. We used the ferber method. We did it early, when baby was 4 months old. He was colicky and crying all the time anyway, so we felt we had nothing to loose.

We spoke with our neighbors and advised we would be sleep training, and to please be tolerant of any additional noise. Our neighbors were all sympathetic, and encouraging.

It took less than 1 week of cry it out, and bedtime hasn't been a problem since.

It can be done. Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

you are doing just fine, you just have to relax and go with it. there is no problem with him sleeping next to you (unless you have sleep apnea, are on prescription drugs or he's a newborn).

my son did this - and at 9 months I decided I was done with trying to reach over the bassinet to get him in there each and every time he cried for milk - and he was a slow nurser so he nursed often!

Try a co-sleeper, or taking one side of the crib off if it allows, and pushing it next to your bed. or putting his bed - sans crib - in the corner and pushing yours next to it so that he's between you and the wall. he will be safe, he will be near you, and he will be quiet for your neighbors.

you are a wonderful Mama to see to his needs - a crib just isn't one of them.

Good luck, and PM if you need more ideas/suggestions.
M.

You've been given some great advise already, so I'll only add this: Don't get anxious when he does start to cry. It's inevitable that he will cry. And if he senses your worry and axiety about the neighbors, it'll only make the situation worse.

Nothing wrong with him sleeping in your bed. If you both get to sleep, sounds like a win/win to me.

We moved into a 2nd floor apt when our only child (at the time was 3) and I was a nervous wreck about every noise she made. Bottom line is....people who live in apts should expect noise & believe me, for as quite as we kept our 3 yo they sure as heck didn't consider the little one upstairs!

Try to do things as gradually as you can but realize that whether or not you were in a small village or a mansion on 30 acres, your baby will cry :) Good luck!

Updated

We moved into a 2nd floor apt when our only child (at the time was 3) and I was a nervous wreck about every noise she made. Bottom line is....people who live in apts should expect noise & believe me, for as quite as we kept our 3 yo they sure as heck didn't consider the little one upstairs!

Try to do things as gradually as you can but realize that whether or not you were in a small village or a mansion on 30 acres, your baby will cry :) Good luck!

Do exactly what Dawn says. That is what I had to do when my first moved to his crib. I first put his crib next to our bed so that I could lay in bed while doing this. Then once he slept much better I slowly moved it back into his room.

I had the same thing with both my kids. I was also breast feeding forever it seems and it was just easier to keep them in my bed. People told me that was wrong but my kids are 10 and 8 and sleep fine on there own and have no seperation issues. How does the husband feel about it? The baby years are gone so fast. Those r the precious connective times. I could never let my kids cry it out but they ended up perfect! Good luck!

Get him a toddler bed. Toddler beds are closer to the ground, so you don't have to worry about them falling out. Toddler beds can also come in cool shapes and designs and still give him a little freedom to get out and come to you if he has a nightmare. You don't want to keep a toddler in a crib too long. My mom did that with me and I became too heavy for the crib and the bottom fell out while I was in it. Luckily I didn't get hurt too bad, but it was scarey!