HELP! Bed Time Routine

Updated on March 02, 2008
G.M. asks from Watertown, MA
9 answers

Hi all. I have another sleep question. HELP!!!!!

First off, my daughter is 15 weeks old.

She is getting pretty good now and going down for naps, and if she gets up in the middle of the night for a feed, she usually can put herself back to sleep.

The one problem we are having is bedtime. My husband usually does it as I work Sun-Thurs nights. I express breast milk and he feeds her.

Here is the routine:

Takes a nap and get up around 3:30pm (this is just the way her day works out. usually naps late afternoon and wakes somewhere between 3 and 4).
Feed immediately.
4-4:30 play time.
4:30 - bath, baby massage, cuddle time, and then we stroll her slowly around the house in her stroller (she loves it)
5:15 - my husband feeds her in her room in the rocking chair

Then the screaming begins! If I am home I will then go and help out - and nurse her and then put her to sleep.

I have 3 theories:

1. She wants mommy

2. we are not giving her enough to eat in the bottle (we give her 5 ounces). I do not want to overfeed her, but if I do give her the breast when he is done, she eats and does not throw up, but I am not sure how many more ounces to give her!

3. she is overtired as by time the feed is done she has been awake for over 2.5 hours (If this is it I am not sure what to do as I feed her at 3:30 - takes about 30 min, and maybe we should just start the bedtime routine right away and feed her again by 4:45? Is that enough digestion time?

This is extremely h*** o* my husband, and it makes ME feel like I can never leave the house. I need to work at night to make ends meet.

I would love some advice!!!

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K.V.

answers from Boston on

Feed her more in the bottle and she should be happier. Babies do not overeat, so do not ever worry about that.

More Answers

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R.H.

answers from Portland on

G.,

Great job for returning to work and continuing the nursing. I had to do it with my last child and we were successful for 18 months.

Now, try napping earlier, 10 and 2, this will make it easier to start bedtime at 6:30 with the bath time. How to get there from here. change the times by 15 min increments each day or 10 if that works and in a week or so you should be on a different time schedule.

Another idea has been mentioned that she may be going through a growth spurt. When I worked maternity I used to tell the new moms to expect growth spurts at 3 6 9 12 15 18 wks months and I guess it even goes out into years too. So if she was fussy at 12 weeks and because of your schedule you didn't have an opportunity to spend time increasing your milk then maybe you need to take a day or two to do that and let her nurse and nurse and nurse ON DEMAND meaning every time she wakes fusses poops squeaks because our milk is produced because it is taken. The more she nurses the more you will produce. If she is on and just sucking occasionally she is building your supply. Some moms think they are done cuz she isn't nursing all the time. I was able to nurse all day if I wanted with my first two. But as they continue to suck even occasionally they are helping to make new milk. There is more to making milk than just nursing, the emotional attachment causes the hormones to be released to produce more milk also so the more time you spend next to her the stronger the bond the more hormones you will release to make more milk. Good luck!

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S.J.

answers from Boston on

yes i feel your pain. i too have a 4month old daughter and i would love to get her on a schedule. HOWEVER---she is just not a schedule kind of baby. My hubby and i have tried everything and now we are just letting her 'take the wheel' so to speak. we find ourselves moving our routines to fit her needs. i realize that is not possible for everyone, but it has made all the difference for her. As far as the food goes..my little one takes 6-7oz at each feeding so id offer more food to her if you can.
good luck!

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

hi G.,she could be going through a growth spurt.whenbabies do this,they canbe irritable andmore excessively hungry.they eat alot more and sleep as well.do you have a swing? maybeyoucan start to introduce her to a soft blanket that she will get usedtohaving or a stuffed animal. sounds likeyou are doing things right.if she wants to eat more let her and just love her.

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L.Z.

answers from Boston on

I know how tough the nightly routine can be, especially when you are new at parenting! Sounds like you are really on top of things and you are committed to a working schedule for your baby, even if that is trial and error right now. Just realize that she is going to go through many changes in the next few months and the schedule will keep changing with her. I never tried to get either of my girls ready for bed (the sleeping part of bed) much before 7 p.m. or later when they were 15 weeks old because I wanted them to eat right before bed in the hopes that they'd sleep longer overnight, and it did work out that way. I would try to feed her as close as possible to her bedtime, even if that means an hour or so after what you now consider the last feeding. Babies get VERY fussy right before bed because they are tired and can't express it - my 8 month old does that every night at the exact same time, which happens to be a few minutes before we put her down! The schedule that will work best for all of you will be the one you end up sticking to - watch for patterns over the next few weeks and take your cues from the baby as to how much to feed her and when. It's not uncommon for babies to cluster feed at night, especially when breastfed because it digests faster.

Good luck and don't worry, you will work it all out!

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K.P.

answers from Burlington on

Well, one thing I do know for sure, is that this phase will pass, and then there will be something new that comes along! I don't know much to suggest, but I don't think there is any such thing as overfeeding an infant, they will drink as much as they need. You could try giving her more in her bottle. She will stop when she if full. Also, with breastmilk, they don't need time to digest between feedings, again I believe they will eat when they need to and only what they need to. I know how hard it is to have to try to please a screaming baby. I always tell my friends that if infant crying is really getting to you, it is ok to put the baby down in their crib, and take a time out for yourself for 5-10 minutes, then go back and try again after you've gotten a bit of a breather. Also, with the bottle, she may be getting more bubbles, which may give her some gas. If you touch her tummy and it is rock hard, chances are she is having some gas. We used to do a massage by rubbing fingers up the left side of her tummy, straight over the top of the belly button and back straight down, with just a bit of pressure. Do this a number of times. Also laying the baby on its belly across your lap and rubbing her back may help her move some gas out. Not sure if that is it, but may be worth checking out.

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S.S.

answers from New London on

Hi G.!
I would have to agree with one of the other comments and say that it might just be too early to start the bedtime routine at 4:30. Of course every baby is different so I can't say for sure, but I know that was way too early for my daughter. She never went to bed before 7. I would get home from work around 6 and immediately breastfeed her, then relax a little, then bath, another feeding and bed. Again, that's just worked for us, but it might help you out. You might want to start out slowly spacing out her feedings and giving her a little more in each one (when she gets a bottle that is). It also occurs to me that maybe she is getting confused by the routine. If she takes a bath and the gets all relaxed by a massage and cuddle time, she might just want to fall asleep right after, but instead she takes a few strolls around the house which might get her excited and want to play again. I wouldn't say completely change her routine, just tweak it a little at a time until you get something where you're all happy.

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C.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

Hi G.,
I'm a mom of 6, soon to be 7, and have gone through a lot of what you are talking about. Here's what I've found:
Most babies won't stay on a regular sleep schedule until about 5 months, and even then, some of them really need to be trained. A lifesaver book for me was, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, which walks you step by step through the whole process. As far as the crying in the evening, almost all my babies had a fussy time in the evening, even though they were not truly colicky babies for the most part. I found my swing to be invaluable for this, as not much else seemed to help. Also, they tended to have a longer wakeful period in the evening, so that sounds pretty normal to me, too. And finally, with the amount to feed your baby, the beautiful thing about babies is that they'll stop eating when they're full, so you're not going to overfeed her, and when she hits a growth spurt, she'll drink more, so I would recommend offering more if she still seems hungry, because if she's not, she won't take it. Good luck, and hang in there. Even after this many, they can still throw me for a loop -- what an adventure! I agree, being a mom is hard, but there's nothing else that is a bigger blessing, and it certainly helps us become better people in the process! God bless.

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C.H.

answers from Boston on

5oz for a 15wk old sounds like it is not enough? I could be totally wrong and I know every baby is different but I am currently watching a BF 8wk old full time and he drinks 5oz at a feeding. My nephew is 7wks old and he is also taking 5oz...just a thought.
I also think it may be a tad too young to start a sleep routine. Then again; this is coming from a mommy of two colic reflux babies who never slept! LOL

Good Luck with your little cutie!
C.

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