Help Avoiding "Getting Dressed" Tantrums?

My son was an extremely sensitive kid, to things that touched him. Some children are really hyper-sensitive to touch, although they don't know it or cannot express it at this young age. What helped us was toning down any other sensory experiences that were going on at the same time - music, food, visual, etc, and also letting him shop for clothing. I didn't care if he wore the same three shirts every week, because I can wash them, and he found things that didn't irritate him. Sometimes it was a tag, sometimes it was a synthetic fabric, sometimes he could "feel the colors!" So we did a few short shopping trips at some secondhand stores, where everything is a little softer because it's been worn before. You might also try switching laundry detergents, because that may be irritating but you might not know it. I still use Dreft or Baby Ivory for my son's clothes, so there's no perfumes or fabric softeners to irritate him.
I also had "naked time" where it was a designated time to be naked, sort of like an activity. He is five now and doesn't have any more issues (they stopped around three) but he still is very particular about clothing, and can only wear socks that are seamless, and a few quirky things. But he was allowed to choose his clothing, and change it when he wanted to, and we eventually got over the struggles. Patience is definitely helpful, but it will subside. Good Luck!

I have to agree with another poster that said try the reward method. Kids usually respond to rewards. My 4 yr old LOVES putting money in his piggy bank. So everytime she puts clothes on give her a penny for her bank? Or what ever it is she likes best. Chapstick maybe? Since she is a girl. I have 2 boys so i'm not so good at the girl stuff. Maybe a fun new necklace or something? Or if you tell her "we're going for a walk if you get dressed" would she respond to that? Kids can be so frustrating at time especially when you can't really understand the behavior. Ah the learning experience!
W.

my daughter did that for awhile, I figured it was because she was grumpy in the morning and maybe she needed more sleep but sometimes it would be later in the day too even after she has been up fow awhile.
I started putting her to bed earlier making sure she got at least twelve hours of sleep and in the morning I would put her on the couch with a blankie and pillow. She would lay there with her juice or water cup until she was ready to get up. Meanwhile I would start getting ready to go outside. As soon as she would see me put my coat on she would so lets go and start heading for the door. I would tell her grab your coat which she had just got that I let her pick out and she would grab it and her shoes and I would tell her to go sit on the couch and I would put her outfit on and make her help me the whole time. It has been working really well. She just wanted to be involved. SHe opens the drawers to get her clothes now and always grabs her coat and boots.
I hoped that made sense and was helpful I am typing with her in my lap right now

I dont know of any suggestions but when you find this out please let us know. I had the same problem with my daughter-she would even strip in the car on our way to places. She is going on 4 and she still hates clothing.

A few thoughts. She might be tactilely hypersensitive. Does she dislike touching things that feel a certain way? There is a book out there that talks about handling kids like this, I think it is something about raising an out of sync child. Clothes are not life or death, make this problem hers, not yours - continue to allow choices, maybe try a timer - she picks the time and when it goes off, it is getting dressed time. If she doesn't cooperate, let her feel a natural consequence, express without emotion that mean she'll be leaving in her onesie/nude. Shrug your shoulders, (say oh well to yourself, put some slip on shoes on her, pack her clothes and coat in the diaper bag and head out. I would bet you only have to do this a few times before she picks a different choice.
other ideas - would you like to get dressed now or in 5 minutes?
Really pay attention to textures of clothes and notice if anything works better/worse. Is it the tags?
Know that her power struggle with you is a compliment, she feels soooooo safe with you, that she can push the envelope and express her deepest, strongest feelings. Remember this in the throughs of a power struggle. Avoid the power struggle and let her feel her power as much as possible.
Does she associate getting dressed with the thought that Mommy will be leaving me soon? Could this be a smidgen of abandonment?
My kids love naked/nearly naked time. Make sure she gets this as often as possible. It represent freedom and power and fun in her mind. Isn't it hilarious to see mommy get soo worked up about this! Tee hee

Hopefully some of these ideas will work. You change the dynamic and the problem will change. Motherhood is a mind trip.

She may be sensitive to synthetic fabrics, laundry detergents, and even seams. Try organic natural fibers, can even put on inside out if necessary. I know this sounds crazy, but wearing the same colors as you may help too. and try not to think that she is going to struggle. If you want some great laundry products and other green home care stuff for you sensitive ones:
http://www.shaklee.net/build/prodHou
You might want to read The Care and Feeding of Indigo Children too. Good luck!

I have a sweet 18 year old daughter that is the same way. We found out about when she was five and could really speak well that the clothes were itchy, and for some she was allergic to them!
She was ok if it was cotton. no elastic anywhere. Never polyester. She still can't where it. Since she keeps the onesie on I am thinking it may be similar. The zip-ups are almost always some kind of man made material. Try to find something that is cotton and not binding. my daughter couldn't wear the elastic waist. She didn't mind dresses. NO tights she would scream for hours.
Hope you can figure it out!
=0)

Check out Love and Logic.com,There are also books.

Give only 2 choices, red outfit or blue dress. Your 2 year old is at the age of wanting some independence. Try giving 2 item choices as often as possible. Do you want the red cup or the blue? Do you want to get up on this side of the bed or the other? Would you like one bow in your hair or 2? Would you like to take a nap now or in 15 minutes?

Another thing that will help is saying would you like to get dressed to go for a walk or have a babysitter while we go for a walk. They will learn fast.

Good luck,
K. Mother of 6

Hi, J., I was wondering if maybe the feel of the clothing, maybe some types of fabric feel better than others, and my friend had a little girl with the same problem and it turned out that it was the feel of the fabric, and it was a real nightmare for them.
In the long run it worked they changed the type of clothing,and fabric, and the clothing had to be lose, and very soft.
Good luck, P. B

She's at the age where she's attempting to exert some control over her environment (aren't we all?) and I found that the getting dressed battle was one not worth fighting with my 3 kids (12, 9, and 6). Early on, I discovered that if I let them pick out what they're wearing (within parameters for warmth) they were quite happy to express themselves, flamboyantly at times, in this venue rather than struggling with me about other things. I had to let go of my own "thing" about socks matching and patterns going together, and they've actually surprised me with the artistic taste they show at times.
And straight out of the pages of a friend of mine's book, if your child is refusing to wear clothes when it's cold out, take the clothes with you and head out of the house. When she gets cold, she'll ask for the clothes and you can happily help her get dressed and gently remind her that this is why we wear clothes, so we don't get cold.

Me? I'm 32, work full-time for a non-profit, and have 3 delightful children ages 12, 9 and 6.

try putting her clothes in the dryer to warm them up - who could resist putting on some realy warm soft clothes. mama mona

I have a similar issue with my 2.5 year old. I can tell you what I do and see if it helps. I don't ask her what she wants to wear, rather, I offer her a choice of two shirts so she feels like she has a say in the decision. If she still is flipping out then I ask her if she wants to go to whatever activity we're doing. And I tell her that if she doesn't get dressed now that I'm leaving without her. I've gone to the extent of picking up my jacket and walking to our garage door. She usually snaps out of it and lets me get her dressed directly. You're daughter is the same age that mine started doin this so I'm fairly sure than she'd understand all of this. Good luck ! E.

Hi J.,

You could try making a game out of it.

Have her go help you pick out your clothes. Ask her to help *you* get dressed, and take turns. Tell her "you put on mommy's shirt, and then I'll put on *your* shirt." Give her a reward when each stage is done, so she sees getting dressed as something fun AND profitable lol.

That's my only suggestion. All my kids were easy once they were out of the wriggly little baby stage.

OH! One thing my "baby(she's 9 now lol)" LOVED LOVED LOVED, was putting on perfume. She wasn't hard to keep dressed, but she was slow(I'm talkin' 10 minutes to put on a shirt slow), so when we finished getting dressed, and if she did it fast enough, I'd spray her with perfume. I don't wear really heavy, musky, flowery stuff, so she didn't go around smelling like a, um, well, you know....

Light, fruity scents would be good, and I don't know if they do, but maybe Bath and Body Works has something for the little ones? A body spray, perhaps? http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/product/index.jsp?product... (pricey, but it's baby perfume! :o)

I read an article yesterday that says the average parent argues with their toddler 20 times an HOUR!!! No wonder we're all soooooo tired during the toddler years. But ah, then there's all the rest lol. :-P

Good luck!

K. W.

Is she tactile sensitive? My son is and he hates tags in shirts, anything constricting or itchy. The doesn't like sweatshirts, sweaters, or coats because of the added pressure. We cut out all the tags in his shirts and I let him pick the clothes out of his drawer.

I have made it a 'race' in our house because my 4 year old is exactly the same way. We see who can get dressed first. Some days she isn't into that, but it helps on other days.

-Kathryns response made me think of my daughter having the exact same problem. She can't have tags touching her skin, she can't wear jeans - she doesn't like the feeling of them. Now that she is 4 I just let her pick out what she is going to wear, but your daughter is too young for that yet.

She sounds very strong willed and yet she knows that she is in control so since she thinks she in control ask her what she wants to wear and if she doesn't pick anything or starts fighting it then walk away from her start getting dressed get ur coat on and take that morning walk with her in that onsie...She will finally realize after that short walk down the road that the walk will get longer and she will get colder...Let her go outside with just that onsie on and I heard that it will take maybe a day or 2 but she will want to start getting dressed don't let her know that she is running ur life...Be in control....

Hi J.! I have 2 grown daughters, but when my oldest was 2 she went through a similar issue. What I found, was that she had very sensitive skin, and a lot of fabric felt like sand paper! I took her to the fabric store, and we felt everything we could, she found a few she liked so I tryed to find clothes made of those fabrics. She would not wear pants, always dresses, and is today a beautiful 22 year old princess!!LOL I would try it, she will fell that she is having control over what she wears, it worked for me! Good Luck, R.

i started giving my daughter two outfit choices in the mornings when she was giving me grief about getting dressed (she was right around 2 then). she didn't always like the choices, but getting to choose was very important to her.

she'll be 3 in june and is now getting her diaper, socks and pants (whatever she picks) out of the drawers now in the morning and i help her out with a shirt from the closet. she loves being able to pick out her own clothes and is much more reasonable if i suggest something different (b/c of weather or if something's too nice for what we're doing that day).

looks like you've got a lot of great suggestions so far. hope something works out for you. :)

have you tried having her dress herself?