Having a Very Hard Time with Our 20 m.o. Adjusting to New Home

Updated on April 02, 2009
J.C. asks from Hebron, CT
4 answers

We just moved into our new apartment today, and it seems my 20 m.o. son just HATES it. He refuses to be left alone in his room at all and will scream and scream. When we came back to my mother's house today (where he has lived since birth) he flew in the door SO happy like, " YAY I'M HOME!!!!!!!". He wouldn't take a nap all day, and has been up since 6:30 a.m.... just NOW getting to sleep at 10 pm. The only reason he even fell asleep is because we are back at my moms for the night, him back in his old room, us on the couch... There's nothing in his old room but a Pack N Play, yet he still passed out within 20 minutes. He's been running around just screaming at out new home, so badly his voice was hoarse. This is the last night at my mom's, and we're only here because we have no food at the new place and my lil one was too upset to go shopping. He wouldn't let me rock him, change his diaper, snuggle...anything.

Any advice on how to help him adjust?? I feel so bad, like i took him away from his home. But i can't live with my mother forever. How long should this normally last? Please help?!

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M.D.

answers from Burlington on

Hi J.,

Can his grandmother come over to play hide-n-seek? I would play it with more than just the two of you so that he isn't left alone looking for the hider or is by himself when seeking. That way he'll explore the new home with people he loves and he'll be having fun in his new home instead of, as I imagine, watching you unpack and put away things.

Good luck,
: ) Maureen

1 mom found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Boston on

We will soon be in your shoes. We are moving into our house at the end of this month and I'm sure that my 2yr old won't be happy about it. My 7yr old isn't taking it too well either he stopped doing his class work. We were at the pediatrician yesterday so I mentioned and he said that moving or knowing they are moving is a very stressful thing that children don't like change even when its for the better and to give them plenty of time to adjust and they will get over the move. My oldest doesn't like the idea of having his own room so I'm sure he will be camping out in my youngest's room for a few nights when we move. Good luck. I look forward to reading the responses you get maybe some will help me make the move less stressful for my little guys.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Kids don't like change, and this is a big one. That said, they are also adaptable and will adjust. Give him time; its only been one day. If he doesn't want to be alone in his room, don't make him for now. I know we slept on the floor of my daughter's room for a couple of months after we moved into our new house. Not fun, but seemed like the right thing to do for her. Also, remember that moving days are stressful for everyone (including you) and he's probably picking up on that stress. When his toys are back out, there's food in the house, and there's other stuff to make it feel like "home" he'll get better. He's still so young he probably won't ever consciously remember living with your mom. The first few weeks might be a little rough, but then your apartment will be just as much home as anyplace else and he'll be fine. Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from New London on

Do you think your mom would stay at your house a couple of nights, perhaps he misses the comforts of home (his grandmother being close by.) maybe you could take him to pick out some special toys for his room? Kids will adjust it will just take a few days to a week. Is there anything you can take from your moms house to your house? You need to assure him that he is going to be okay and that you are there for him. Make the home fun. play fun music, decorate, bake some cookies, etc. Good luck.

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