Having a Vegetarian Child When...

Updated on August 14, 2012
J.S. asks from Hartford, CT
19 answers

My 7 yr old has decided after much thought and discussion that she wants to try vegetarianism. My question isn't completely formed, but it relates to being concerned to having a vegetarian child when no one else in the house is vegetarian.

My husband and eldest daughter (almost 12) would never get on board with completely eliminating meat from their diets. They like it twice a week and sometimes push for three. My middle daughter (9 1/2) has such a self-restricting diet and medically restricted diet that I'll feed her whatever she asks for. She doesn't have a lot on her menu, but one of her staples is pork. I'm a fruit, veggie and grain girl at heart but do enjoy meat if it's prepared well on occasion.

I'm very supportive of Anna on this, but I'm not entirely sure how to go about this. I know that not everyone in the extended family will be on board. In theory everyone in our house is supportive but when it comes to our current budget what's realistic? She's only moderately adventurous with trying new foods, but she's pretty good compared to other children her age.

I guess I'm looking for ideas and thoughts. Should I join her and go full out veggie myself?

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

You're a nicer mom than I am! My oldest (14) goes on vegetarian kicks every now and again. I have very little patience for this and make her responsible for her own meals. She'll last about a week or two before deciding that it's just easier to eat what the rest of us eat. I'll take her seriously when she learns that being vegetarian requires expanding her diet somewhat to include things like beans.

I don't know what I would do with a younger child. She has only done this in the past couple of years when she was old enough to have to fix her own meals if she chose to not eat what we prepared.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.F.

answers from Boston on

My daughter became a veggie in 10th grade. I supported her and tried it myself for 10 years. I did not change a thing. I cooked like I have always cooked and just did not eat the meat. My other children ate meat so I made more veggies and ate more fruit. But basically everything stayed the same.

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S.L.

answers from Savannah on

Mix things up without catering to any one specific diet. On the nights you serve meat, serve enough vegetarian friendly sides to fill up your veggie child. On the nights you serve no meat, make sure there is enough carbs to fill up the meat eaters. That's fair to both sides. I'm the only vegan in my family, my boys are 75% vegetarian at home, and hubby eats everything. It can be a balancing trick, yet well worth it when my 8 year old asks for broccoli and asparagus.

12 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I became a vegetarian at 12. I grew up with meat eaters and I am the only non-meat eater in my household.

You get creative with cooking. Mexican and Italian are your best friends, same with Asian. Meals where you can just add the protein after the fact, or use the same ingredients to make multiple meals. Hubby and kids had shrimp tacos last night, I had bean tostadas.

My mom also took me to a nutritionist so I understood how to have a balanced diet, especially since protein is a building block and essential to young peoples growth.
I also eat a lot of veggie burgers, and when hubby makes stew, I have lasagna. They have chichen soup and sandwiches, I have mushroom. It's no big deal.

6 moms found this helpful

J.O.

answers from Boise on

My DD decide the same thing when she was 14. We are a meat eating house and live in a meat eating state. I had a few of the same concerns...only I didn't really change my cooking all of that much.

If I was making a soup, it wasn't that hard to throw a smaller pan of almost the same thing on the stove for her. Only instead using a vegetable broth. some things were adapted a little but not so much that the other family members cared.

There are also meat alternatives, which are great.... I love the chicken nuggets. If they weren't so pricey for a family of ten I would by them for every one. Oh and the 'facon' (bacon) isn't half bad either.

As for family and friends. I was concerned a little also, but they have been great. If we are going to a bbq, they make sure to have her alternative and will even cook it first so it doesn't mix with the actual meat. We have learned over the years that there is almost always something she can eat, maybe not a huge variety, but she won't starve.

Good luck to her, like I said you'll notice it won't be hugely different then what you are doing now.

5 moms found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Redding on

I'd just do what it takes to make sure she's getting enough protein, vitamins and minerals. I'm sure there are some great cookbooks out there for vegetarians.
Why you feel the "need" to tell family she's vegetarian is kind of curious... I don't think I'd bother with that just to skip their judgement.... it's really not anyone's business. I'd always make sure that I would have things on hand for her to eat for "just in case" there is ONLY meat available.
I believe being a vegetarian is a healthy choice. Wish I could stick to that regimen myself :)

4 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

This is my take on it (and I've been a lactose-intolerant pescatarian for quite some time)...

You can allow her going veg with the understanding that she must work with you to maintain a nutritious diet. This will mean trying new things. Be glad she's not going vegan, because that would be a mindblowing amount of adjustment... :)

It took me a while before I decided to try Tofurkey products, because my palate was accustomed to meat tasting like meat. Meat substitutes don't have the same texture or flavor, so she needs to know that some of her alternatives will take some getting used to.

My suggestion would be that when you make up a veggie entree--say, a tray of black bean enchiladas--have her get involved as much as possible. Teach her how to rinse the canned black beans (not so expensive and beans are a great protein) and how to season them to her taste. Make a tray of them and then after she's had her dinner, have her help to freeze the rest in containers so that you have an instant meal for her on some of the meat-heavier nights.

Help her to learn which foods offer healthy proteins. Also, be wary of her consuming too much soy. This isn't good for developing girls, just as dairy with hormones can cause precocious puberty... balance is important. I say this because a lot of the frozen meat alternatives are very soy-heavy.

Help her learn how to make scrambled eggs/hard boiled eggs. This is a better protein than just eating lots of cheese/milk options.

One family I nannied for had a child who began being a vegetarian when she was about nine. They had quite a journey in figuring out how to ensure good eating and nutrition for her, and this eventually included making her responsible for educating herself on the subject. She's going off to college this month and has been strictly veg for the past 9 years, and is a very healthy young lady. So it is possible-- but you may need to hold her feet to the fire from time to time to ensure that she's doing this properly.

Here are a couple articles:
http://parentables.howstuffworks.com/chow/vegetarian-nurt...

http://www.amazon.com/How-Cook-Everything-Vegetarian-Meat...

And I'd say this: if you do join her and go veg, remember that your stomach will stop producing the enzymes necessary to digest meat at some point. Which means that you will have to endure getting sick (basically) to get your "meat-stomach" back, so that your body will produce those enzymes again. I love my buddy's ribs, but now realize that more than small bite or two and I'm going to be feeling pretty bad later on. Just a caution...

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S.C.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would see a nutrionist. When I was a kid I wanted to be a vegetarian. My dad took me to see a nutrionist because he wanted to make sure I was getting all the protein and other things I'd miss from meat.

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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I gave up red meat when I was 14, then other meat when I was 19 and out of the house. It has never been a huge problem for me, even with my totally carnivorous husband! We make meals like tacos where we have a meat pan and a non-meat pan and me and the boys eat one filling, DH eats the other, the toppings are all the same. My husband is also learning to like a lot of flavorful foods that are vegetarian, like Indian and Thai dishes. I would definitely try to get her turned on to some Indian dishes. There are some great microwave-able dishes that are full of protein, like Tasty Bite. Trader Joe's has some great options, too- veggie gyoza, polenta with peas, goat cheese pizza...OK, now I'm hungry...
For kid-friendly, yes I know they are processed but kids will eat them without a fight evenings, Morningstar farms has tasty corn dogs, chik'n nuggets, and veggie burgers.
You can always try going veggie for a while. There's no contract or anything, you can quit whenever you want :)

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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

I think you should support her on this. I am not a vegetarian, but I do respect it and understand why people don't eat meat. Creating a separate meal for our daughter will be a pain in the butt, but I'm guessing that your daughter will really appreciate it. It can be as simple as spending an hour or two on a Sunday with your daughter helping you fry up some tofu and making meatless chili so she can have it throughout the week. Will she eat eggs? Giving her a stash of hard boiled eggs to supplement her meals will help too. Morning Star veggie burgers are delicious too!

Maybe she'll decide that she doesn't like being a vegetarian. But she can have a perfectly healthy diet without meat, and she is old enough to participate in food choices and preparation. As she gets older, she can make her own meals while the rest of the family eats meat. Good luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Houston on

If you're on Facebook, 'Like' "Go Kaleo" and "This is not a diet, it's your life". They are always posting delicious meals :)
I agree with the mom who was taken to a nutritionist by her mom when she decided to become vegetarian; very important!

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

You don't have to go completely vegetarian unless you really want to. The only meat my 6 yo son will eat is hot dogs, and only a certain brand. He is a very picky eater due to food allergies. He will go days and days with eating no meat whatsoever. I just make rice or pasta, and he eats that along with fruits, breads, and dairy, like yogurt and cheeses. Occasionally, I feel like a short order cook, but most of the time he chooses what he wants to eat out of what's for dinner that night.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

I became a pescatarian when I was 15, and still am, 15 years later. My mother did not make me separate meals, but she always made sure I had enough nutritional side-dishes that I would be full at the end of each meal. The main message was that my mother said she was not a restaurant, and she didn't make different meals for different people. But she really went out of her way, on days that she served meat, to make sure that there were lots of other foods on the table for everyone.

Don't worry about the extended family. It's not up to them. And if you know someone will not be supportive, make sure you have some veggie burgers on hand when going to eat at that person's house.

This is also a great opportunity to get your daughter involved in the cooking. If she wants a protein and it's a meat day, she can make it (with your help). Occasionally, have her make a vegetarian meal for the whole family (with a lot of supervision). This could be a phase or it could be a lifestyle change, but more than anything, it's an opportunity. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm mostly veggie but cook for a lot of meat eaters. I like to make things that are assemble yourself so people can leave out or put on what they want.
mexican is the best for this (burritos, tacos, taco salad...) and beans are a great vegetarian protein. For nights when you feature meat, have frozen veggie burgers and have her eat those with the sides you make. I also love frozen bean and cheese burritos for those days you just don't want to cook. She can always heat up on of those if the meal is not veggie.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

My daughter went away to college and decided to become vegetarian. It has been three years later and she is still going strong. It is a lot more detailed then most people realize. I had no idea when she tells me some of the things. It is usually a gradual process. Start slowly and see how she reacts to some of the changes. My daughter is also lactose intolerant. She has a pretty strict diet and I give her all my support. She shows us new recipes every time she comes home. I am very proud of her conviction.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I Ditto Grandma T.

My daughter is now 9. She went through stages of not wanting to eat meat.
Per anything I cooked, there was always something there that she could/wanted to eat.
Then before I knew it, she was back just eating meat again.
Kids are fickle. Or they see how other kids eat at school.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from New London on

Most meat that people eat is factory farmed. Your daughter is only 7...So, please take the time to watch meatrix.com by yourself. It's an award-winning film about the meat we are eating.

After you watch it, you will see why I go out of my way to get grass-fed beef !!!!

Most of the soy in the US is genetically engineered. It's not safe...we are human experiments !

Europe does not eat our beef because of Mad Cow disease. Europeans do not eat genetically modified foods, either ! Hmmmm !!!

Your daughter may or may not become a vegetarian for long. My brother is a vegan (raw) foods and is extremely healthy as he is a holistic nutritionist. Raw, organic nuts are great for protein !

I eat very, very little meat because the "stuff" in the grocery store is factory farmed ! It's so cheap, unhealthy and sad that we have to eat poor grade meat.

When you serve baked potatoes and broccoli for the rest of the family, she can eat that !

If you have farms by your house, that's a great place to get your veggies, etc !

I went to a doctor last wk. It was my first visit w/ her. We talked about medical issues...and, then, food. She has been a vegetarian for 30 years. Her skin was beautiful, her hair looked great and she she had very nice muscular arms. She told me not to eat corn or soy unless it was organic. I agreed.

I hope this helps !

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E.G.

answers from Boston on

I think every little girl goes through this! My oldest daughter would become a vegetarian every so often and I would accommodate her. It was as simple as preparing all meals the same way except eliminating meat when possible, then cooking it separately and adding it back in for meat-eaters. For example, I would make quesadillas with tons of veggies, but stirfry the chicken in a different pan. I would then add the chicken into some of the tortillas, and keep some purely veggie. I would do the same with chili. I would make a big pot of veggie/bean chili, take out a small portion for her, then add in fully cooked ground turkey for the rest of the family. Just takes a little more planning ahead of time, but not that difficult to do.

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K.G.

answers from Burlington on

Can she take more of a lead role in this? She should learn some nutritional values, get some recipes to incorporate her choices, and encourage the family to try the dishes. This may not "stick", but nice and healthy to try other options. Side dishes for some, larger portions for the non-meat eaters. Not for me, but I know other families that have made this work. You're a good mom for supporting her and seeking out more info :)

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