February 25, 2010,
L.P. asks from Algonquin, IL on February 23, 2010
Hard Working Husband
My husband has been working really hard at work lately. He doesn't love his job and the people can be very frustrating. There is not much organization so it's hard to be efficient which means long hours. He's also in school, working on a career change. He has quite a work load for school which just adds to his already busy schedule. He's been doing a very good job of spending time with me and our daughter despite everything going on. Yesterday he told me he was getting burned out. I want to do something to show how much I appreciate him and to lift his spirits. He is very money-conscious so I don't want to spend any money on this...that might just defeat the purpose! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Oh, and please don't suggest that I give him more sex...we are fine in this area! :)
B.S. answers from El Paso on February 23, 2010
Bake him a cake make some cookies, Back rub like the other....Nice Meal, coupons good for one............Whatever or. Just a great big hug and kiss and I love you....It's free don't forget to mention you apprectiate him men like that
K.S. answers from Minneapolis on February 23, 2010
I have been there!
I told the world every chance I got (even strangers) how amazing my husband was for going to work, school, major career change AND being such an awesome father to our young son. Often, I told my stories right in front of him. He might have been 20% embarrassed but 80% proud. To be honest, I still do this and this was 5 years ago. Every time he gets an award at work, every time a friend wonders if they can handle such a change...I brag on my husband. I get downright choked up about it.
Some of the things I remember doing to help us get thru the 2 years:
*Offer to drive him to and from school. No matter how late or how snowy.
*Take his car out to the gas station to fill it up and vaccum it out and run it thru the car wash.
*Became super awesome at stuff that used to be "his jobs" like snowblowing, taking out the garbage, unclogging drains, mowing the lawn.
*Scheduled regular very one-on-one activities w/son while dad was at school. We had a baking night, arts-n-crafts night, flashlight walk night, boardgame night. All so that the more time-intensive attention was taken care of my my husband could take over the easy stuff like cuddling, reading, etc.
*Special meals...The way to a man's heart may truly be thru his stomach
2 moms found this helpful
D.W. answers from Indianapolis on February 23, 2010
Probably the best thing you can do is to verbally recognize all he's doing, how hard he's working, and how proud you are of him - it's amazing how far feeling appreciated can go.
1. make his favorite meal
2. if you split household chores, surprise him by doing his so he doesn't have to worry about it.
3. give him a massage - my husband and I both work long hours and carry our stress in our shoulders/backs. Massages are one of my favorite gifts.
4. Write a love-letter telling him how important he is and sneak it into his items for work/school
Continue to support and encourage him in everything he's doing to better all of your lives! He sounds like a keeper.
2 moms found this helpful
K.K. answers from Chicago on February 24, 2010
Here are some things I do for my husband who is always working so I can stay home with our son.
I make him his favorite dinner, even if I don't like it and I don't complain.
I give him some extra alone time when he comes home from work.
I check the listing for sports programs that he likes for a couple of nights and sit and watch it with him, and I don't "talk" to him.
I let him sleep in on the weekend, and then make him breakfast.
Put special notes in his books.
You can make a daddy t-shirts with hand prints and foot prints and after they dry write in what you love about him(funny, big hugs, etc.) Or put a cute saying like, thanks for all the extra step(by footprints) you take for us.
Card party at your house or game night with his buddies.
Tell him to go out with the guys, because he deserves it
family night, like bowling or a movie.
D.W. answers from Chicago on February 25, 2010
I completely understand your husband's worries about finances, since I'm the sole breadwinner in our home (my husband is a full-time dad). The best thing to give me some psychological comfort and feel like whether we sink or swim isn't resting wholly on my shoulders is for my husband to contribute financially. It doesn't have to be a lot, but just the fact he walks a few dogs in the neighborhood and uses the proceeds to fund his own IRA account makes me feel a lot better. In reality, his financial contribution is a drop in the bucket compared to my compensation, but it makes me feel like he's willing to pull some of the financial weight too.
You don't mention whether you work outside the home, but taking on a job or starting a small business on the side to help out financially could be attractive to your husband.
C.S. answers from Chicago on February 24, 2010
Kaye S's response was perfect! Especially the part about taking over some of his typical duties.
L., you sound like a very supportive and caring wife already, just based on what you wrote. Not once did you mention how your schedule is probably hectic, too, based on the fact that he's rarely home. It's admirable and I really respect you for that. :)
Just remember: this too shall pass.
K.N. answers from Boston on February 23, 2010
how about a nice dinner and relaxing evening. a soak in the tub, candlelight dinner soft music maybe wine. do you two dance?
M.B. answers from Springfield on February 23, 2010
How about make it His Day. Go all out....Use construction paper to make a "official" sign (made with love by you and your daughter) and hang in the hallway so he can see first thing, make all his favorites for breakfast, get him a "comfy outfit"(or just make sure they are clean and setting on the dresser) so he can spend his day off lounging around, if he reads get a book he has been wanting to read, a sports guy - tape a event he is going to miss while he is at school/work, if he has missed hanging out with his buddies too, you could invite them over for "guy time" and prepare all the things they like to eat. If he isn't a guy that does that you can make all nice sit down dinner with your daughter decorating place mats that list all the things that make him such a great dad/husband. When your daughter goes to bed you could rent a couple movies he has been wanting to see.
Also, if you make his lunch you could put notes in his lunch box.
J.R. answers from Phoenix on February 23, 2010
Sounds like he needs either more sleep or better quality sleep so he is recharged to take on the day. Make the bedroom environment very relaxing for him to facilitate unwinding. What recharges HIM? What specifically makes him feel rejuvenated? I would try to do things that free up what little personal time he has: run errands that he normally is responsible for, perhaps the bank, cleaners, car service, yard work, home maintenance issues. Then make a favorite dinner a few times a week, rent a movie he's been wanting to see. Keep your home environment simple, clean and inviting. The more emotionally centered you are the quicker he will feel recharged too. And I would not expect any big projects to be started at this time. Does he work out? I would encourage him to enjoy some sort of activity / sport where he can sweat and play. The most important tip to ask yourselves? What do you do for fun together?....Stop whatever you're doing when he arrives home and make time for a big welcome home kiss/hug/squeeze.