Guidelines for 'Quiet Time' for 4 Year Old

We had them in their rooms, depended on their mood and what the requirements would be. Most of the time, they were required to sit on their bed with either a few of their favorite books or sometimes they were allowed to listen to music. They weren't allowed to run around and jump around. They each had special chairs in their rooms (comfy) ones that were used as well to have quiet time, a place to sit and just chill. The time we had started at 1/2 hour, but before we knew it they were doing an hour on their own. Later as they got used to it, they were allowed quiet play time (magnet things, felt boards, puzzles, etc.) It was good for all. Barbies and polly's didn't work, it because play with too much involvement.

For my son, he quit napping at 3 1/2 and it sound quite similar--he was staying up so late at night when he still had an afternoon nap- 9:30, 10:00 or even later. Now, with no nap he is in bed by 7:45 or 8:00 pm and sleeps until 6:45 am.

For guidelines we initially tried him in his room resting in bed but it turned out that it worked better when he rested on the couch. He got restless i his room alone and had trouble following the stay in bed rule (he's pretty well behaved typically). We limited it to 1 hour and the first 10-15 minutes was reading to him.

We used to not allow TV but we found that sometimes it helped him relax so we do allow it for part of the time.

A.

A little about me: work out of home office mom with 4 yr old son and 1 yr old daughter

We have quiet time for our 3 year old. He must stay in his room for at least one hour. He needs to play quietly anywhere in his room by reading books or doing puzzles or playing with his cars or trains. As long as I can't hear him upstairs, he can do anything in his room. Right now, he falls asleep in his bed half the time while playing. I do leave his light on, but if he is too loud, after a warning, I go in and turn out the light, so then he can only use the very little sunlight that comes in his windows at that time of day. Hope this helps!

When my son was 4, and having quiet times, we would shoot for an hour. He never fell asleep but he had to do quiet play, in his room with the door closed. Sometimes he would watch a DVD or look at books or play with his animals, etc.

Quiet time can be anything quiet...and that will compliment or work with your child.
it can be playing a Leapster, or reading, or just daydreaming, or watching a video, or doing puzzles or simply nothing and just lounging.
And the length of time should be do-able and age appropriate. BUT if he falls asleep because he is tired, then he should still be able to do that or allowed to.
Even in Kindergarten... they still have nap time, and these are 5 & 6 year olds.

For me, I don't make nor require my kids to just "stay" in their room as a "must." Main thing is that they are content and in "quiet" mode....but you also need to have a "wind-down" time... so that they can flow into it too. IF expecting quiet-time to be RIGHT after some active activity...then don't expect quiet-time to be immediately after that. A child would need to "segue" into it, and allowed to calm down, first.

Lots of times, a quiet-time also will make a child fall asleep. So if your child happens to fall asleep during "quiet time".... then what? What is the plan? Is it okay or not?

If your goal is to make your child sleep earlier at night... then you don't necessarily have to eliminate his naps, completely. Some days a kid still may need a nap. But you can still put him to bed at the same time as you usually do.

One thing that will not work with quiet time... is to make it highly rigid and controlled. Sure have a ROUTINE about it everyday, regularly... but meaning, I allow my kids to choose what they want to do, and allow them to naturally find their place to hang out. So that it is fun for them too... and rested/peaceful, ie: quiet. THEN during that time... I ALSO tell my kids that it is "quiet time" for Mommy TOO. And that is when I read my magazines that are piling up or do desk work that has to get done etc. Or I even get a 10-minute cat nap. Quiet things for me too.

But, my kids still nap. My 7 year old will nap about twice a week now at her age... and my 3 year old still naps every day in the afternoon. I don't force it. They get tired and will actually tell me they are. And they go to bed by 8-8:30 at night and are able to, even with their naps.
But for "quiet times".... what I do is what I rambled on about above.

MAIN thing is to do what will work with YOUR child.... without it having to be a "battle." Quiet-time should be a cool calm mellow time... not something the child will think of as "banishment" or with dread.

Good luck,
Susan

sleep begets sleep and in my experience the best way to get a kid to have an earlier bedtime is to put them to bed. Even with a solid 2 hour nap, a four year old can easily go to sleep at 7 to 8. If you are putting them down past 8 you lost the battle. I bet if you put them down at 7, they will still nap for you and go to sleep as well.

Oh the loss of a nap-- bittersweet! I personally have a 5Yo and 2 1/2 YO, boys, with adjoining rooms. Is started FIRM (you can always loosen up when you and your child are ready, but as a former teacher, it is much harder to get firmer later!) We started with a set amount of time (30min-1hour depending on the day), keep the lights low with just a little light from the window (but not streaming sunlight) and let him look at books in his bed. I didn't want him out and around fearing that him walking around would wake his brother. As he's older, I also allow him to play his leapster or TAG reader or even listen to his iPod, all with earphones on to minimize noise travelling. Many times when he "reads" he ends us falling asleep.

I think most of all, any activity needs to be stationary, and quiet. If coloring is great for your kiddo, then do that, or give the child a choice (kids love choices, just make sure you are 100% OK with all of the options).

Best of luck!

KW