Grieving--nightmares

I'm sorry Cindy.

I think it is not unusual. In fact to me, it makes perfect sense to me. Of everyone I know, including my faithful and adoring husband, my Mom is the

one I know would drop everything for me...for anything. Not having her there to have my back...... Losing Mom is tough stuff. If these nightmares continue don't wait to find that grief counselor or grief support group. Let them help you move through the grief process with support.

In regard to the dreams. I believe the departed can visit in a dream. If the dream is very clear and not easy to forget you Mom may be trying to let you know she is okay. :)

Cindy, I'm so sorry for your loss! It is not easy to loose a parent. I think the dreams are based on your grief. It is a release. Does this have anything to do with the way she passed away? Guilt, grief, loss can affect our thoughts and our dreams. Since it was your Mom, you could feel that you aren't protected, that the line of defense is shorter than before. Sometimes we feel nothing can happen to our parents because they are bigger than life. So when something does happen there is a shock to our systems and we then realize our own mortality.

If you could talk with a support group or a trusted friend that might help. Unfortunately, each person grieves differently. I don't know the answer. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss. Hugs!

I lost my Mom 5 months ago, she was also only 70. I was very sudden and unexpected. I also had/have dream and nightmares about her death. It just takes time. I don't have them as often now, and when I do, they are not as bad. I'm sorry for your loss, noone can ever replace your mother!

I'm surprised that no one has suggested prayer. Pray for your mom. Pray for yourself. Tell God how you feel, ask for what you need. Pray and then pray some more.

It takes time, Cindy. I'm so sorry about your mom. I lost my dad and I still dream about him, but my dreams now are very benign and it's a welcome thing.

Give yourself a lot of time and get that support group. It should help.

Dawn

I've been there, and I am so sorry for your loss. No matter how old you are, you feel like an orphan. The loss is there always, but it becomes something you can live with. A book that really helped my sister and me was Hello from Heaven: A New Field of Research-After-Death Communication Confirms That Life and Love Are Eternal by Bill Guggenheim, Judy Guggenheim available on Amazon. She & I have given it to friends who are grieving. We each have to go through it, and if you have a good friend who will go through it with you, it helps.

I lost my Mom in December 2011, she was 94. I took care of her at home on hospice for 8 months. I do miss her, so many times I want to ask her something and she is no longer here but I know in my heart she is happier. My Mom had congestive heart failure and had not felt well for many years. She died slowly over a 10 yr period. The last 5 yrs she lived with me and never did anything to care for herself. She couldn't even put a cup of coffee in the microwave. So everything fell on me and my kids. She honestly wanted to die.

As far as your situation goes think of your Mom as your own special guardian angel. She is still with you in spirit and the love she has for you is still with you. She is now in spirit form. You can talk to her, just tell her how you feel.
She may be coming to you in your dreams as a way of letting you know she is watching over you and family, protecting you from above.

As far as the nightmares go, get a dream catcher, they honestly work. You can also place a bowl of water next to your bed to absorb the nightmares.

If the nightmares continue, keep a pad and pencil/pen next to your bed and write down what you remember as soon as you can after waking up. Look for repeating patterns and symbols. Are you being chased? Are you running away from something or toward something? Are you being attacked, by what or whom. By documenting what is in your dreams or nightmares you will have a better chance to understand what they are trying to tell you.

I know a little about dream analysis PM me if you want to.

Hi Cindy,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad when he was 51 and my mother when she was just 57 three years ago. It is a process. I have experienced dreams about my mom and dad. I think the grief is creating these nightmares and counseling will help. I still have dreams about both and now find comfort in them. Just talking to someone and time does help. I still go see a therapist from time to time to talk about my grief. Losing a parent is very traumatic and a lot to deal with. Hugs and prayers!

I wonder if you're not sleeping deeply because you are hoping to see your mom in your dreams. We have nightmares almost every night, that's how our bodies/minds work out our stress and other issues. Plus what we hear on the news, what is going on around us, etc...we usually don't remember our dreams/nightmares due to the chemicals in the brain that make us sleep.

If you are subconsciously wanting to see her, visit with her one more time, enjoy seeing her then it's possible you are just keeping yourself out of deep REM sleep but are still going through the entire dream cycle.

I suggest you get some over the counter sleep aid medication that you talk about with the pharmacist to make sure what it is, what it might do, if there are any side effects...then take that for the next couple of nights to get your body back on an even sleep pattern.

It is hard losing a parent that a person is close to. It is also pretty normal to actually see them at least once after they are gone. I do believe that the veil between the worlds can be quite thin sometimes.

I saw my dad one time after he was gone, a glimpse at a peaceful wooded setting. I was out hiking at a sightseeing place and turned a corner in the path and there he was, crouching down with one knee on the ground and his arm across the other knee. Then he was gone.

My mom said he came to her night after night for weeks. I was very glad he didn't visit me like that. I would have had a hard time sleeping too.

My friend said her grandmother kept having nightmares night after night after night. She begged my friend to change beds with her for at least one night so she could get some sleep. She said okay and went in, went to bed, and went to sleep. She woke up suddenly and knew he was there. She turned over and he was standing by the bed in his jammies looking at her as if trying to figure out who she was. She looked at him and told him "Grandpa, you need to leave Grandma alone, she needs to sleep at night". He never visited her grandmother again.

So all in all, you need to go fully to sleep so you won't remember your nightmares and get your body back on a regular sleep pattern. If the otc medication is not something you want to try then google Melatonin. Many people take it since it is the natural occurring chemical that normally puts us to sleep. They sell it at health food stores. Most of my friends that use it say they don't feel the effect the first night they take it but if they take it the second night they sleep all night very solidly.

Hi. I am not sure if this is the best advice, but I'll try.
I also experienced a traumatic loss in my past...but the dreams and nightmares didn't flare up until years later. It drove me nuts. I tried praying to God, I went to church....I did not understand for a while. But it was happening so much, I came to the conclusion that God was trying to tell me something. The dreams wouldn't stop no matter what. So I did what I had to do...in my case the person was still alive so I saught him out and did what my dreams and subconscious were telling me to do.
The dreams stopped.

It was unfinished or unresolved until I got out of my mind what I needed to get out. Then all the feelings that my subconscious held back came out...took some time but now they are gone.

My thoughts for you, is that perhaps you have feelings you are holding back...whether it be anger that she died, regret that you should have done more, didn't get to say things you wanted to say, or it is just that you miss your mom. Nightmares I don't understand why you are having them...what happens in the nightmares if I may ask?

It could be a number of thibgs....maybe it was such a tragic, painful loss and you're just mourning. You need to let yourself go through the mourning phase as long as it takes. Write your tgoughts and feelings on paper. Write letters to your mom what you feel. Anything to get the craziness out and nightmares to stop.

Other ideas are: go to a counselor, or seek out a psychic who specializes in dream interpretations....or a medium psychic that can communicatewith a lost loves one....but they will need specifics so they can channel in with the right person. Like the date when your mom passed away, her name, etc. It is worth a shot. If these dreams are bothering you so much, those are my suggestions. Your subconscious is telling you something. Or just don't do anything and see if the dreams go away. But getting it out is best. Good luck and I hope the dreams stop for you too. <3

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my mom last October. She was 56. I still miss her and dream about her once in a while, but no nightmares.
Being able to talk about it with my family and friends and pastors helped a lot. Give yourself time. It's a hard thing, and it will take time to heal. And let yourself cry as much as you need to.

My parents have been gone for several years and they're still in my dreams from time to time. I feel comforted by the dreams.

As for the nightmares, I suggest that they're your mind trying to work thru your fears and anxiety. They will stop once you're further along in the grieving process and feel less stressed. I suggest that you write down an outline of the nightmare and see if you can connect the content with a fear or anxiety about something. Once you confront your fears, accept them, and work thru them the nightmares should stop.

I've found that when I don't acknowledge my fears that they come out in my dreams. Often the dream doesn't seem to have anything to do with what I fear but when I focus on the dream and allow my mind to know my fear I eventually figure out what the fear is all about and how it's related to the dream.

For example, one bad dream that I have is of being in situations in which I'm alone. The situations are rarely related to being afraid because my parents are gone but when I think about the dream and the theme I remember how, as a child, I was afraid my parents would leave. (family history there) Then I would remind myself that I'm now an adult and have been "alone" for years and am able to take care of myself.

I've also found that relating my dreams out loud to a friend helps to lesson the fear and eventually to lessen the amount of times I have bad dreams. Get someone else involved with you and the dreams.

Hospitals have grief support groups that I've found very helpful. They usually meet every week and are free. I'd make a connection with a support group right away.

I just lost my brother pretty suddenly recently. The stress made me have nightmares, also. Now, I more or less dream of my brother calling on the phone. This dream is recurring. At first, in my dream, I was mad at him for not calling. Now, in my dreams, he calls and asks me questions about family or friends. Just chit-chat. It does make me feel better, even if they are only dreams.
Anyway, it will just take time, as everything with grieving does. My advice is to keep a dream journal. It will help work some of those emotions out. Nightmares are scary sometimes, but like my mom always said "Your dreams can't hurt you".

I second PRAYER! It works every time.