Good Program for ADHD Daughter

Hi Mama Llama,
My youngest daughter has ADHD, and we tried everything before medicating her. Absolutely everything. Up to and including homeschooling her.

In speaking with several nationally-renowned experts in the field (we are lucky enough to have UC Davis' Mind Institute near us), I learned that ADHD occurs because the brain processes information differently. Whereas those of us with "normal" brains will prune out unnecessary pathways for each experience/task, those with ADHD brains never prune those pathways out. So instead of the brain being able to focus on one task, it continues to process unnecessarily ALL of the information coming its way, rather than simply ignoring unnecessary information/sensations. At this time, even the top researchers have not found a proven way to re-train the brain. And frankly, I'm not sure you'd want to. ADHD can be a strength later in life (see ER doctors, firefighters, soldiers, construction workers, just to name a few professions where you'll find a LOT of ADHD folks).

All that being said, our pediatrician also pointed out that while it's fine for ADHD kids to be unmedicated when they're very young (since most kids that age are spazzy anyway), as they become adolescents, almost without exception, the unmedicated ADHD kids will choose to self-medicate to gain some control over themselves. That could mean self-medication with food, or it could mean drugs or alcohol. She also pointed out to us that ADHD medication is a stimulant, not unlike most adults would use caffeine. :) The medication is 100% out of the child's bloodstream about 8 hours after they take it (if it's extended release... or 4 hours after if it's not extended-release).

Reluctantly, we decided to try medication. Well. I'm kicking myself for not having done this YEARS ago. Truly, it has been life-changing for my daughter. She's able to connect with other kids her age, read books, follow directions, keep her desk and her room organized, all kinds of things that never happened before. She looked up at me about a week after we started on Adderall, and said, "Mommy, is this how normal people feel? I like it!"

Anyway, I know that that is not the answer you were looking for, and I am not trying to push you toward doing something you don't want to do. I am merely letting you know of our experience, for whatever it's worth. Good luck to you. I know what it's like parenting a child who moves through life like a tornado.

I understand you want to try other things but I have to say my side too.

If your child was diabetic and the doc said she needed to be on insulin would you say no, that you want to try reading books to fix this chemical imbalance in her body?

If she had seizures would you read books about it and research a lot of stuff then try home remedies to try and fix her brain?

If your child was schizophrenic would you simply say they just need to do what some book says and they won't have that problem any more?

Of course you wouldn't. So for any parent to say they don't want to give a medication that fixes a chemical issue in the brain is.....just odd to me. Don't they want their kids to be better? To feel normal? To be able to think and process thoughts and it not be like playing in the middle of a tornado full of debris swirling around distracting them?

So please, take your child to a doc that is qualified to diagnose a mental issue such as ADHD and stop trying to fix this by reading books and stuff.

ADHD is a chemical problem in the brain. It's like getting in an old beater car that jiggles and drives horrible at 35 mph but once you get over 40 mph it drives like a dream.

An ADHD brain is firing all the information it's receiving but the pathway to where it needs to go is...disrupted, disconnected, not getting the information because it's bouncing all over and not going to the right place.

The medications for ADHD speed the brain function up. Suddenly it's like that old beater car that is out of sync until it hits 40 mph and above. The brain suddenly syncs up and starts working.

They can suddenly understand all that information they are receiving. Their world suddenly makes sense and they are able to look around and see outside their bubble and function.

The meds are a God send to those of us who've chosen to give medication to treat a medical issue.

Ritalin makes my grandson, who started taking it at age 4, able to do school work, listen, he can focus and watch a TV show, he can help cook, he can do everything he puts his mind to. Because the meds make his brain work right.

Ritalin is a short term med. That may not be the right wording. The pill stays in his system about 4 hours, usually at about 3 1/2 hours I can see him starting to bounce a little or starting to lose focus. Then the medication is gone. It does NOT build up in his system or stay in there. It's GONE after 4 hours. We chose to not do the extended version. The short time pill works fine for our guy.

He takes a whole pill in the morning, a half after he eats lunch, then IF IF IF he has something where he needs to pay special attention he can have another half by 4pm. If he has a performance or a game or something that he needs to be focused and settled down then we give him that second half. That happens, at MOST ever, once per week. He was taking a class that he needed to pay attention for a couple of months.

Otherwise he gets no other Ritalin. It helps him through the day so his brain can work right.

Updated

I understand you want to try other things but I have to say my side too.

If your child was diabetic and the doc said she needed to be on insulin would you say no, that you want to try reading books to fix this chemical imbalance in her body?

If she had seizures would you read books about it and research a lot of stuff then try home remedies to try and fix her brain?

If your child was schizophrenic would you simply say they just need to do what some book says and they won't have that problem any more?

Of course you wouldn't. So for any parent to say they don't want to give a medication that fixes a chemical issue in the brain is.....just odd to me. Don't they want their kids to be better? To feel normal? To be able to think and process thoughts and it not be like playing in the middle of a tornado full of debris swirling around distracting them?

So please, take your child to a doc that is qualified to diagnose a mental issue such as ADHD and stop trying to fix this by reading books and stuff.

ADHD is a chemical problem in the brain. It's like getting in an old beater car that jiggles and drives horrible at 35 mph but once you get over 40 mph it drives like a dream.

An ADHD brain is firing all the information it's receiving but the pathway to where it needs to go is...disrupted, disconnected, not getting the information because it's bouncing all over and not going to the right place.

The medications for ADHD speed the brain function up. Suddenly it's like that old beater car that is out of sync until it hits 40 mph and above. The brain suddenly syncs up and starts working.

They can suddenly understand all that information they are receiving. Their world suddenly makes sense and they are able to look around and see outside their bubble and function.

The meds are a God send to those of us who've chosen to give medication to treat a medical issue.

Ritalin makes my grandson, who started taking it at age 4, able to do school work, listen, he can focus and watch a TV show, he can help cook, he can do everything he puts his mind to. Because the meds make his brain work right.

Ritalin is a short term med. That may not be the right wording. The pill stays in his system about 4 hours, usually at about 3 1/2 hours I can see him starting to bounce a little or starting to lose focus. Then the medication is gone. It does NOT build up in his system or stay in there. It's GONE after 4 hours. We chose to not do the extended version. The short time pill works fine for our guy.

He takes a whole pill in the morning, a half after he eats lunch, then IF IF IF he has something where he needs to pay special attention he can have another half by 4pm. If he has a performance or a game or something that he needs to be focused and settled down then we give him that second half. That happens, at MOST ever, once per week. He was taking a class that he needed to pay attention for a couple of months.

Otherwise he gets no other Ritalin. It helps him through the day so his brain can work right.

Ditto Gamma G. Avoid the scammy places preying on fears about medications. There are no chain programs out there miraculously fixing brain disorders through play, nor are there magic vitamins (the other big scam). That's just not how brain disorders work. This is serious stuff and I personally wouldn't let a franchise in a strip mall mess around with my child's brain disorder.

I'm not sure what kind of doctors you'd talking to about medications (pediatricians, BTW, are not specialists and shouldn't be advising on this condition). You want to talk to a board certified child psychiatrist or neuropsychologist for medical advice on brain disorders. The medication advice you're being given is outdated and garbage. There's a lot of research into ADHD medication, so make sure you're reading reputable sources. Join CHADD and subscribe to ADDitude magazine for accurate information.

If you're not willing to consider the best option (research shows medication combined with therapy tops everything else by a mile in helping treat ADHD), look into neurofeedback. It's an experimental ADHD treatment that has about a 50/50 success rate. It didn't work one bit for our son after a year of 2x/weekly appointments, but I talked to people in the waiting room who saw results. It's very expensive, but it sounds like you're willing to spend a lot anyway to avoid the medical experts, so go with what is showing promise. There are no chains out there offering neurofeedback. You'll want to research independent providers very carefully to make sure they have medical backgrounds. Any old yahoo can open up shop, just like Brain Balance's franchisees, and claim whatever they want. You want to find providers who are experienced with neurofeedback and have medical experience.

Good luck! And I do encourage you to bring your child to someone specializing in brain disorders for better advice. Please book an appt. with a child psychiatrist or neuropsychologist. You haven't met with anyone yet who's an expert in ADHD and that's so, so critical to long-term success in managing this condition.

ETA: My son went from having one friend and being kicked out of preschool to thriving, having a group of friends and making honor roll and Principal's List on medication. The medication decision was agonizing but it's the best thing we ever did for our son. He leads a very normal life now, seven years on medication.

My daughter's friend also has ADHD and her mom put her in dance, theater and music lessons to help her blow off some steam.

Try alternatives but if none of them work please consider how her life will be affected if she's not making/keeping any friends and is always struggling.
Please consider meds as a last resort.
For some people nothing else works.