Going on Cruise and Husband Is Having Nightmares of Our Son Falling Over-boat!

Updated on July 20, 2009
T.M. asks from Fort Worth, TX
20 answers

My father has graciously offered to take the entire family on a cruise. Everyone is going, my brother and sister their spouses and 5 kiddos + me and my son. My husband can't go because it will be in school. He really wants us to go and have fun with everyone, but has recently been having nightmares of our son falling over-boat. He's really getting scared about the whole vacation. They've already bought our tickets, so we can't back out. He knows that I would not let anything happen to our son. My questions is, how do I compfort before we leave and while we're gone? It's extremly expensive to phone from the ship (like $20 a call!) Any ideas are greatly appreciated.

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L.H.

answers from Dallas on

Text messages are free from home and each one from you cost fifty cents. Much better than the cost of calling, I just got back in June and it was so much better than the last years 350.00 phone bill. Good luck and have fun

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E.H.

answers from Dallas on

Hi T.,

If I remember correctly, the walls around the cruise ship are tall enough to prevent children from going over. Hope this helps.

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L.P.

answers from Amarillo on

Do you have a lap top that has a speaker and camera on it? The ship should have wifi check on that. If you have yahoo messenger and he has a computer available you can call computer to computer and even if he does not have video if you download yahoo messenger 9 you can call him and let him see your son and hear his voice.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

Interesting responses thus far :)

I have cruised each since 2001...and this past march we had twin 10.5 month olds - and then in December, they will be 20 months old on the next cruise!

Like others have said, the railing is like 4 feet tall and your child would need to be a monkey to come close to falling over on his own. The staff is so sweet - they LOVE kids because they miss their own! We used in-room babysitting on RCCL and we really loved our sitter.

I'm thinking about taking harnesses for our December trip. I'm also thinking about using a little wristband or bracelet (maybe something like a label) for them to wear in case they get away from us (please call cabin 1111 if you find my child ;)

Hopefully your child is potty trained - otherwise he won't be able to get in the pools (I think Disney makes an exception). There are kid programs for 3 and up though.

My mother had a fear of people going missing and falling overboard, but she just went on her first cruise with us, and I don't hear anymore about that...she's going again in December. Too bad your hubby can't go.

Check to see if your phone will even work internationally and then check your phone plan. Email is reasonable. The ship has a camera, so your hubby can log on to see where you are.

Also check http://www.cruisecritic.com/ for more info and you can post on forums there as well.

Bad things can happen no matter where you are. You can have bad babysitters at home, get in a car accident, etc. I don't think your chances are that much higher by being on a cruise. Do you have any friends with personal experience, maybe go out with them so they can give him first hand experience? I hope you all have a great time!!!

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S.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hey, I am not sure how old your son is, but if he is old enough to walk, you could start to give him some relief by buying one of those back pack things the kids wear that is like a leash. At least that way you have a hand on him at all times.

I will say that I just went on a cruise in May with my 16 month old (he was 14 months at the time). There are really no spots for them to fall off the ship (unless someone throws them). However, that is not likely. They crew on the ship watches out for everyone. They are ALL very friendly with children. You will also find that most of the other cruise members are also friendly with the children.

If he wants communication while you are on the cruise, you could use your cell phone. I am not sure of your port destinations, but if you port in the US then you can call him from there. If you do not, you can use your cell phone on the ship. However, BEWARE that they will charge you as if you are calling from the farthest place that you port and it can get pretty pricey. They even charge you if your phone just rings and you don't answer it (I speak from experience). I have been on 2 cruises so far. One with my baby and one before the baby.

I will also say that before we went on our cruise with my son, I had those same dreams. I will say they are really freaky and heartbreaking. I was scared to death every time I woke up and for the first few days. It is hard for him to not be there. I'm sorry he can't make it. I will just say, that your son will be safe and secure.

I hope this helps. Sorry for the forever long message. Please feel free to ask me any questions you might have on the issue or the cruise questions. I will do my best to answer them. Have a blast!

S.

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

We've been on multiple cruises and I would have to say that it would be very hard for a 3 year old to fall overboard. Pay attention, tell your child he can't climb on the rails, and have fun.

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I'm sorry your hubby can't go. He sounds loving and caring and protective. He knows you will take care of your son. It probably bothers him that he can't go along as well.

Don't you have cell phones to use? I am not one for cruises myself but my brother and his family go all the time. They stay in contact via cell phones.

I have ATT and when we head out of the country, just before we go, we add the international service which is about $5 a month with very reasonable rates on calls. Then after we get home, and it cycles through 1 time to clear out all the calls, we cancel it. The ATT rep is the one who suggested this way to stay in touch and save money.

Good luck.

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

Have you been on a cruise before? It is not likely your child will fall overboard, just make sure you tal tp him about the raiing well in advance and set a rule that hw will know when asked about when he can go beside the railing. Work on the boundaries now, Let your husband hear, and hear the respponse of your child. He will feel better knowing your son won't be wondering off alone bŸ the railings. And call your cell company, most phones now are international. Make sure you have that coveragw added to your plan and ask the minute price for the area you are traveling. My last cruise i used my cell on the boat and also in ports and is cost me $2 a minute instead of $25! Have a wonderful vacation

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

The ship usually has a internet cafe. You can email from there fairly inexpensively. That might be a good way to stay in touch without phone. You might also check your cell phone plan. We could call from parts of the carribean for free with our plan. Good luck!

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G.M.

answers from Dallas on

Buy an international phone card before you leave and when you get to the shore you find a phone center and use it to call him. I Called my husband from Cozumel at a phone center near where our ship docked and it was near the shopping area and it cost much less than calling from the ship. Or call your cell company and ask how much to use it from the shore and/or send a text message to him. Have fun on your vacation, cruises are awesome.

G. M.

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T.W.

answers from Dallas on

T.,
We too are going on a cruise in a couple of weeks for the 4th time and I have nightmares of the ship as well before every trip. Cruising is great and the ships are totally safe for everyone. Even though calls are expensive you can buy min so you can email him periodically throughout the day. If he has email I am sure he will enjoy hearing from you more than once a day. Hope this helps. Is this your first cruise and are you guys going on Carnival? Carnival has a great kids program!

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

Sometimes information can quiet a fear. Maybe you can call the travel agent or cruise line and ask about safety features.
For keeping in touch the inexpensive way is to email from the ship. There will be a per mi ite charge for time online. Also you can get prepaid phone cards for the countries you will be visiting so you can call when off the ship.
Cruising is great fun! Enjoy!

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D.W.

answers from Dallas on

I think you can send e-mail much easier from the boat. You can send him a message that way, but phone calls are very expensive. Only call for an emergency. I should tell you that the worst thing that can happen is that my son (who was 2 1//2 yrs old) ran off the elevator on the ship, and I couldn't find him for what seemed like a while. It was rather scary, but there's really no where he could go. I wished I had brought his harness with a strap to keep track of him better. I learned the hard way to always bring it even if you don't think you will need it. Just having it as an option can be used as leverage for better behavior about not running off since he hated it. Also the mandatory life jacket drill at the beginning of the trip made a big impression on my kids so they understand how important it is to have a life jacket on. As for your husband, the nightmares are probably his anxiety of taking his exams compounded by being away from you all as well. I think e-mail is the way to communicate and reassure him you're all fine. Good luck! Try to have fun on your trip.

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L.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hi there,

My husband and I went on a cruise without our son last December. Our son stayed with relatives. This was the first time we did not take him with us. So we called our cell phone company and got a temporary international plan so that we had a flat rate for the entire week to make and receive calls. It cost $20 for the whole week. We also took our laptop and schedule two days that we talked to him via Webcam. This help with our fears and my sons. It might help your husband as well.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

Have you ever been on a cruise boat? We've been twice, once with kids, once without. They were 3 & 5 at the time, but once I got on the boat, I had NO worries about them going overboard. I would say it is virtually impossible. Is there any way you could tour a cruise boat nearby so he could see how they are set up? Maybe that would help him see that it's not like a regular boat where there are just little ropes around the edges, the sides are probably 4 ft. high and solid.

Good luck.

Maybe you could set up notes for him around the house for him to find while you are gone, or mail him some notes that he'll receive while you are gone (maybe a friend could put a note in the mailbox each day?)

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

Anyway he can get off school and go? Can you leave your son home? He's only 3 and won't remember much of it anyway.

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

T.,

First of all, I'd like to know how your husband STILL gives you butterfies after 8 years of marriage??? What on earth is your secret??? Good for you!!!!

I have to say, I completely relate, sympathize and empathize with your husband about this cruise. My MIL just told me she wants to take the whole family on a cruise for my FIL's 70th, and I told her it scares me! I told her I have nightmares of our kids falling overboard! I also don't love the idea of our kids being "stuck at sea," if they get sick or something. I know there is a doctor on the ship, but how good can he be? What if your son gets an ear infection? Is the cruiseship doctor going to give him anti-biotics? (I am against anti-biotics, by the way - I take my kids to the chiroprator and treat w/ holistic stuff). The whole thing freaks me out! Also, will you be going out at night? If so, the ship provides sitters, but will you be able to trust them? I have nightmares that the sitter will throw my kids overboard. I feel bad for your husband that he will be suffering all week long when you and your son are on the ship. It is a shame that it has to be this way. I wish you or your husband would have spoken up to your father and explained your husband's concerns, and maybe the family trip should be on land. I guess it's too late now. Be safe!!!!! P.S. I read a few responses, and I really like what someone else suggested - that your husband goes with!! I know he has school, but is there a way he can miss school for that week? I am wondering why this cruise was booked when everyone knew your husband had school? Why couldn't the cruise have been booked when your husband has a break from school? That wasn't so nice.

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D.G.

answers from Dallas on

As you said, using ship-to-shore phone calls will be VERY expensive. Unless rates have come down recently, it's more like $10 per MINUTE & not $20 per call. Most ships have an internet cafe nowadays. It's not a speedy connection like most of us are used to at home & work but it's better than nothing when you need to keep in touch with someone at home. There is a fee but it's not bad. You can usually pay a flat fee for the whole time you're on the ship. But prepare your husband for the possibility that on one or more days, the internet connection may be down so he won't panic if he doesn't hear from you everday. If you have a cell phone you can also ask your cell service provider for a temporary international calling plan to use while you're gone. Hope this helps & have fun on the cruise!

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

There are no absolute guarantees that your son won't fling into the ocean. However,if by some remote chance that happened, an immediate dive team would rescue him. Also, mommies, very much like daddies, have an instinctive protective trait to watch their children; you will too, right? Remind your husband that your family will also be extra eyes on your child. Ships are built aesthetically with safety in mind, your child will be fine and this will be an incredible memory for your family. Your parents need this time with your children too! Take the trip and enjoy!

As for communication. There is a rule we use while on a ship:

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS!

You shouldn't have to worry about communicating while on this boat. You should tell your husband that you will only be calling if there is an emergency, so no news means you are all safe and having fun! A week will go by quickly and you can fill him in on all that you wrote in your travel diary.

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

Talk together about your safety plans and precautions together so he'll know that you've thought of everything imaginable. Or, if you use an on-board babysitting/ activities director for children, what you will check on with them before you trust them to watch your child. Did your husband ever have a bad water experience that is instigating this dream? Perhaps you could engage your child in some private water safety lessons beforehand. (I saw a video of a baby floating in the water who was trained to do so. Amazing!!!)

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