Going Away on Vacation with Friends or Without Friends

Look into a cruise. My husband and I went on a cruise with 2 other couples and there were times we couldn't find them if we wanted to. We had some nice alone time but got to hang with friends too. As long as he will take the alone time and won't constantly nag you to find the others.
:)

Ouch! After being together for over 20 years I too find my husband a bit boring but I wouldn't come out and say it (I'm sure he feels the same way!)

I actually love the idea of taking a trip with friends. My husband loves to golf and ski and I don't do that stuff at all, so yes, I think it would be great to have a girlfriend or two to hang out with by the pool, get massages, go shopping, etc. while the guys do their thing. Then everyone gets together for dinner, drinks, maybe dancing...sounds fun!

Whatever you decide, go someplace with lots of fun activities for your husband, and plenty of things to keep yourself entertained/relaxed as well :)

We have gone on vacation a couple of times with friends. We had a blast. However, be sure that you have the same ideas. When we went to London and Paris, we all wanted to be on the go go go. If we hadn't wanted that, it could have been a problem. We have friends that love to gamble. I don't. Can't stand it. So, I wouldn't be too quick to go on vacation with them. Just be sure your traveling style and objectives are the same.

Well, I don't think he should have told you that you're boring, but maybe he's getting a lot more adventurous as he ages. You know, kind of a "bucket list" sort of thing.
It seems to me that you being afraid to do these things shouldn't preclude him from doing them anymore than you'd want to be forced when you aren't comfortable.
Do you know a couple that's fun, but the wife isn't necessarily into the daring things? You gals could spend a day doing things you like (like shopping, for instance) and the guys could do the daredevil stuff. Then, you could do some of the tamer stuff like water skiing and boating, all four of you.
I think you can find a way to compromise so it doesn't have to be either his way or your way or separate vacations.

Just a suggestion.

We love vacationing with 2 particular couples. We get along well, have a ton of fun together and know how to give each other space without hurt feelings. I vote going with friends...it still allows for romantic time. In Hawaii, my hubby was able to snorkel out further than I cared to do in the ocean with one of the buddies and go cliff jumping..then he came running back to me as I was all oiled up and sun bathing on the beach,reading a book...then we had OUR romantic time. A win win for both of us!

I don't know if I'd take offense to what your hubby said. I have no idea how it was said. My husband and I sometimes joke around and it could be misinterpreted by outsiders as rude or insensitive. There are times, in jest, I might say to my husband, "C'mon...don't be such weenie." Or he might say it to me. We just joke around that way and it makes a point. But if we were in the throws of intimacy and he told me I am boring...well...then it would be out of line...and my panties would get in a knot.(well not really cuz we were in the throws of intimacy so they weren't even on...hee...hee.. you get my drift!)

Soooo, don't take it personally. He is looking for an exciting trip with some activities you particularly don't care for. Make a compromise....go with some friends and do some activities he wants to do and then some more intimate&romantic activities you want to do. If you accommodate each other without hurt feelings then it is a win win.

Good luck and best wishes at having the most exhilarating and romantic vacation ever!! Way to go on 24 years...that is awesome!!

Has he hit mid life crisis mode? I'd be hurt (more pissed) too! I mean I understand him wanting to do these things, wanting some excitement or whatever but that shouldn't mean NOT wanting to have a nice vacation with just you. I would encourage him to grab a buddy and go jump out of a plane! And while he is gone, enjoy a nice weekend at home, maybe go see family or have a friend over. And then after hubby has got some of this out of his system, plan a nice vacation together. Maybe think of something a little more adventurous that you're willing to try and surprise him! What about Niagara Falls? They have a speed boat tour that sounds awesome!

Dang, what a harsh thing to say! From your "knight in shining armor" no less. :(

I understand, people drift apart, but that should be a reality couples address together and fix, not use as an excuse.

I have been on a few vacations/weekend getaways w/other couple friends and I highly suggest going w/people who pursue you as their friend, not the other way around (someone you like and think you'll have a good time with).

Congratulations on 24 years of marriage.

Why is it so wrong for your husband who is getting older and may need some extra chills and thrills in his life to get the blood pumping to want that for your anniversary? While you may be frightened to death of doing some things, figure out which one of those things you would be willing to do and go for it. You will be surprized just how much excitement that will add to you as a person. You will discover many things about yourself, your husband and your marriage.

It is refreshing for me to hear that your husband has no problem after 24 years of being married expressing his desires.

If you are not too thrill about spending and entire vacation on pursuing this endeavors, then I would recommend setting up a once a month outting of chills and thrills for your husband. Sometimes you come with him while other times you send him with one of his friends.

Don't be all weepy over past vacations which you enjoyed but he may have not. Men age differently than women. At least he isn't looking for that midlife crisis mobile and a twentysomething wifey replacement.

I say do your research and do your homework and get that man's adreneline pumping with some excitement.

Because he says he wants to include friends because you are boring, it does NOT mean he's been bored all these years. He's wanting something new and more exciting now. Ask him what he means before feeling betrayed.

I enjoy doing things with a group. It's often "the more the merrier." Could you spend some time with friends and some time alone. Explore ways to make the time alone both romantic for you and more exciting for him. Talk together to find ways to meet both of your needs.

Perhaps if he sky dives with a friend during the day, he'd be willing to have a romantic evening and night with you.

You have a right to be hurt, if he actually said that you are boring. That was a terrible comment to make. I think it's fine for him to have some time on his own to do other activities if you are on vacation. There's also nothing wrong with taking friends if you have an agreement that each couple will have some private couple time, and it would have to be a couple where DH will have someone to do these adventure activities with and you will have someone to hang out with while he's doing them. Just because you are afraid of those activities does not mean that he shouldn't do them. It's also okay for him to have a weekend away with a dude friend to go sky diving and zip lining. It's okay for him to want to do different things than you on vacation and to each have time apart for those activities, but it's not okay for him to be hurtful about it. If my husband said that to me, I'd probably book a vacation with my sisters and leave him home

Just make sure that you vacation with a similar-style couple. If you are on vacation with an adverturous couple, you will be left by yourself on the beach. That may not be a bad thing, but just be aware that you may end-up with "separate" vacations together!

Be happy that he's telling you this and not going on your version of a fun trip and then being a pain the whole time you're there!

he might just now be getting board with the old ways and just now wanting to spice things up. like going to the movies every time you go out and even though both of you love the movies after several years of just going to the movies he might want to spice it up. he realizes that you do not enjoy jet skis, or sky diving, zip lines but wants to do them perhaps he is thinking that if yall get another couple to go with you he can still do these things with a friend. or even relax you more into trying it. have you ever been on a jet ski? they are like a bike on the water. its not bad at all. i suggest you get one for yourself and drive it by yourself. perhaps they can use the jet skis and you can get one of those water bikes. i am with you about sky diving- but perhaps you could go up in the plane or even do the class training but not actually go up in the plane and jump. i personally would love to do a zip line but my hubby would hate it. i would go with out him...on the zip line. there really isnt an alternative - out of danger - compermise to the zip line as you would be able to figure out a fun save way to join in the EXTREAM fun.