Getting Rid of Pacifier... Help???

I don't think that 1 is too young to get rid of the paci. You've done a good thing in already keeping it just for nap and sleep times. That's how we started out with my son was reducing it down to that. Then after several weeks of only having it at that time then I took the scissors and snipped abt 1/2 inch off the end of the nipple. That takes away the suction and they can no longer suck on it. When I put him in his crib and he asked for it I gave it to him. He put it in his mouth and immediately knew something was different. He took it out and looked at it. I told him it was broke. He put it back in and tried again and again I told him it was broke. There was about 3 times of this and I told him it was broke and we didn't have another one. He laid down and whined for a few minutes and just held it. I left the room with him holding it and he went to sleep. At sleep time, the same thing. I just kept telling him it was broke. He finally threw it in the floor and said "boke" and laid down. It was about 3 days of it being "boke" before it was over. Even if she wants to hold it after it being broke that is fine because she can't suck on it. This really was the easiest method to use. Good luck with this.

Have you tried making her really tired before she takes a nap or goes to sleep at night. My son was the same way, but I would wear him out which he was very active so it was hard to do. He was 14 months. Then If she still cries after 30 min, I would think she is not ready. She is probably really strong willed like my son and it may take a little longer than you planned.

I don't think she's too young or that it's too late. I personally took my children off around 15 - 18 months. I started letting them have it less and less. When they would be awake and walking around, I didn't give them the pacifier. I eventually substituted the pacifier for their bottle and eventually sippy cup. You just have to do it gradually not overnight. But what ever you do pleas have her off of it before she's 2 and definitely before she's 3.

Your daughter is obviously attached to the paci and is how she is soothing herself to sleep. Personally, I think to take it away "cold turkey" is not really fair or healthy...she is obviously too young to really understand you explaining it to her and if she cried for that long it is obviously a big comfort. Obviously it is a personal choice, but there is a lot of research against the cry-it-out method that you may want to look at. I personally would be waiting until she is older and able to understand why you are needing to make a change...if it is only at nap and bedtime I think you are fine to wait awhile - even past 2 if she doesn't seem ready! As she gets older you will be able to explain things better and she will be a lot happier for it. The argument doctors give about teeth doesn't hold a lot of water with me on the basis that 95% of people seem to need some kind of orthodontic treatment whether they sucked their thumb or used a paci.

Goood Luck,

W.

We just went through this last week. One of my twins (age 2 and 4 mos.) was VERY attached. I gave her the "broken" paci the first night and was determined to start right then and there. She screamed for 5 nights in a row (from 1 3/4 hr. the first night to 5 mins the last night), and learned how to climb over her gate, which is about doorknob level. For the past two nights, she just says, "goodnight Mommy," and rolls over and falls asleep. I essentially went cold turkey by cutting all her pacys up, just the tip, but that was enough for her not to want it again. The nice thing about waiting until they're older is that you can reason with them. I just told her that after a certain age, her pacys become broken with overuse. The only other problem is that she's smart enough to know where pacys come from, and that we can just go to the grocery store to get more! Hang in there, it was a rough week, but we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Tonight we are going to Build-a-Bear to put her pacy in the bear so she can still sleep with it.

I had twin girls that were both attached to their "pappys". At 12 months I thought I would try to take them away-so I did but at the same time I was trying to get them to stop taking bottles as well. I felt as though it was too much and gave up on taking their pacifer away at that point. Once I had them fully off their bottles which didn't take long I decided at 18 months to try again.
I first of all threw away every single passy away in the trash except for two. Those were the only two in the household and every week I would take scissors and clip away at the nipple. They would stick it in their mouth and take it back out to examine it, stick it back in and then eventually it would end up on the floor and they didn't even ask for it. At naptime I would give it to them and they basically ended up throwing it on the floor. It wasn't difficult this way for me at all. When I tried at 12 months old I didn't know about the trimming thing and it was a lot more difficult combined with me trying to get them off the bottle. Good luck!
Oh and just so that you know too...my girls are now severe thumb suckers.....so in a way I feel as though taking a passy away was pointless and I have tried everything to get them to quit. I myself sucked my thumb until I was about 8 so I know they will just eventually grow out of it and my dentist already suggested we purchase a device for 500 bucks a pop to get them to quit but we have a genetic history of bad teeth anyways so the chances of them NOT having braces would have been slight regardless if they had sucked their thumbs or not. Maybe I should be a little more concerned or proactive about getting them to stop but they are 6 and the only times they do it is when they are going to bed or really tired in the car, watching t.v., etc. its not like an all day thing. I figure they will eventually quit all on their own just as I did as a kid. There is so much bigger things to worry about in my opinion.....Good luck!

You gotta stick with it for 3-4 days without giving in. That's just kind of my general rule when making any sort of adjustment with my kids. She'll be ok. Its definetly harder on the parents as we don't like hearing our kids scream. You can even try praising her after she wakes from a nap or at night without the paci. Let her know how good she has done.

Let me know how it goes though. I am about to tackle the paci giving up. My daughter has had hers way longer than I ever planned. But I didn't want her to go from paci to thumb - because you can't get rid of those!

Good luck!

I am really interested in reading these responses too! We JUST took the paci away from our 27 month old daughter two weeks ago. Although she was only using it at bedtime she was very attached to it as a sleep aid, first thing out of her mouth was paci and it was usually her incentive to go to bed. We had tried many times over the last year without success…too much screaming and a plain refusal to sleep and my hubby like yours was not convinced about taking it away. Our Ped told us that because we had overcome the “big girl” bed and potty training issues rather young that he would give her leniency letting go of the paci so we waited until recently.
She willing gave it up to be “recycled for another baby”, by her own choice even. We put a sound machine/ceiling light show in her room to help take her mind off it…transference really. Well, two weeks later…she still cries for it at night and is having a hard time sleeping. This has been one of our largest hurdles. Good luck to you!

Oh the battle of the paci. We have tried several attempts at taking the paci away from my now 3 year old with no success. I wanted her to give it up last year but her attachment was so strong she ended up winning the battle. She didn't sleep for two days and would cry for hours. It's not worth it! It was just too important to her and not such a big deal to me. She only uses it for naps and bed time and we are okay with that. My feeling is when she's ready to give it up she will. As far as her teeth are concerned, they are perfectly healthy and straight. I say let this one go until she's old enough to reason with her or she just grows out of it.

I don't know what the "right" age is to take the paci away. For us, it was when she got old enough to talk and was trying to talk with it in her mouth. That was it for me. I think she was around 15 or 18 months? I can't remember exactly. But we were very lucky, I just tried putting her down for a nap without it (just to see what would happen) and she was fine. Then I thought I would try bedtime and she was fine with that too. I never really had to go any further than that so I don't have a lot of advice. Good luck! :-)

C.,

My son also only used his paci at nap time and bedtime. We got rid of his paci when he was 2 years old. We never attempted to get rid of the paci prior to him turning 2 but I have to say....it was fairly easy when he was 2. We let him throw it away and explained that he couldn't have it anymore because big boys don't have pacies. I was really worried and like you I'm a cold turkey kind of person. He surprised us. Yes he had his moments at nap time and bedtime but for the most part if we reminded him that he was too old for his paci, he was fine. I hope this helps. Every kid is different but it just seems to me at this point you might be better off waiting until your daughter is closer to 2 where you can communicate more effectively.

Good luck!!
S.

Don't do this to a one year old! Obviously she is attached. Babies form attachments to loveys, pacis and other objects of comfort from about 8 months on. If a paci has been a comfort object for her, she's been attached to it for far longer. Sometime after the age of 2 when she understands that "pacis no longer work for 3 year olds" or "we need to feed the pacis to the birds" or some other way to work up to getting rid of them. You said it yourself -if she's too young to understand something cognitively, then why are you doing something to upset her that she can't understand? I also think you need to re-address the fact that you let her scream for half an hour. IF you're trying to get a hard-to- sleep baby to soothe herself and put herself to sleep, then maybe 15 minutes, but since she can't cognitively understand what you're doing, just letting her scream for 30 minutes isn't fair either. Remember, she's your BABY -your daughter.

Is there some reason you don't want to have to explain getting rid of the paci at some point or "playing any games"? I hate to be the one to break the news, but your life from here on out is going to include A LOT of explaining many different things, and possibly playing some games along the way -after all she is a CHILD. You should endeavor to enjoy her childhood because you'll be dealing with far grittier issues in about 12 years.

Remember this -your children are babies for an EXTREMELY short amount of time. Enjoy the babyhood! My son gave up his paci a few months before his 3rd birthday. Before that he only had it at naptime and bedtime and sometimes in the car. We had talked to him for awhile about giving it up, telling him that pacis didn't work after your 3rd birthday because you're a big boy/girl. When he lost his last one, he was resigned to it and said he knew he didn't need it because he is a big boy. It was actually quite sad for me even though I was happy to see him give it up!

I have 2 boys and they both LOVED their paci!!! They def. comforted them and I let them have it until they were 3. I did not worry what others said. At 3 I told them they were big boys and they had to throw them away in the garbage because they were big now and only little kids needed them. Seriously they only cried for about a day. I think because they were older they really didn't care that much. I read something that said pacifiers cut down on sids and their teeth are perfectly straight! hope this helps!!!

Start running pacifier under hot water. Then give it to her. After running pacifier under hot water a few times, it gets sticky and she won't like it. I did that with my son - they give it up faster.

I did it at age 2yo. It's easier to explain it to a 2yo who really doesn't need it as much as a little one that is your age who still needs it. Good luck!

Hey C..
I am a cold turkey kind of Mom and my hubby on the other hand is the nice one. I have two boys a 2 and a half yr old and a 1 yr old that turned 1 in June and for the both of them what I did that day when they turned 1 after the party and all the fun, I take them to the trash and I tell them look all these people came here to celebrate your growing up today and your now a big boy only babies use paci and ask them if they want to be a big boy and both said yes then I tell them the first part of being big is throwing away your paci and I make them throw it in the trash and the first few nights was rough but trust me after the 3rd night they never even missed it at all. so I don't think 1 is too young or she might be attached. just encourage her and remind her that paci's are for babies and she is a big girl now. I think she'll get the concept soon.
Good Luck

Hi, We have a 21 year old, 18 year old and a three year old, so I can kinda speak from experience. Our first child we now joke was "practice", poor thing. We took his bottle away at a year and his paci, that he loved, at one and a half. Our second child, we took her bottle at a year and a half and her paci at 3 1/2 years old. Our second child has been very well adjusted all of her life and very secure with or without us and with who she is, our first child, really struggled in those departments. Also, our first child needed braces and our second child (who had her paci until 3 1/2 years old)has perfect teeth. Having done this all already, we realize with the third, who never wanted a paci, that you do whatever works for the child and that rushing them through everything is not necessarily a good idea. Childhood is sooo short, why not relax and let them, and you, enjoy it. She's not gonna want to give that paci up whenever you decide to take it.

I also think she's to young if that's her attachment object. The fact she only has it for sleeping is fine. (I'm totally against toddlers walking around with pacifiers in their mouths.)
Whenever you do want to get rid of it, make sure nothing else is going on like teething, being sick, vacation, move, etc.
We got rid of it around 2 by snipping the end of it with scissors. then slowly cutting more of it off. She got to the point where she didn't sleep with it in her mouth anymore, but held it in her hand. I saw no harm in that because it was her attachment item. We kept it in a dresser drawer until bed and one night she just stopped asking for it.

Remember: Sucking is a very natural way for a baby to soothe herself.

Hey C.,

I have a 7 month old boy and he has used the paci since birth. I too am in the process of weaning him now before he gets too attached. I am taking the more baby step approach. I only give it to him if he is really fussy and I never put him to sleep with it in his mouth. Did this from the start. I would always take it out of his mouth before I put him in him to bed. Ocassionally if he wakes crying and doesn't go back to sleep I will give it to him.
You may want to just start your naptime/bedtime routine with the paci and then try taking it out of her mouth before she goes down. Let her get sleepy but not asleep. If she is already too used to going down with it, you may have to do cold turkey approach. I now can rock my baby without it and put him down. This has been a slow way of getting him away from it more and more. I am also a CIO mom. It only took a few days of crying for a few minutes at a time during naps to go to sleep on his own. You will have to be the judge of that for your baby. Every baby is different in that manner and that may not be the best way for yours.

Best of luck... I know I may not have helped but keep me posted....

T.

C.,

I went through the same thing with my daughter. She always wanted the paci at nap time and bed time and my hubby always gave in also. Well one day she messed up and threw the paci in the trash and that's were it stayed and til this day she don't suck a paci. She was just a little over 12 months when this happened and sometimes I catch her with my babies in her mouth and I have to get on to her. I say just wait a little longer and slowly start hiding it at naps and bedtime then eventually she won't think about it. I really hope this helps.

Thank you,
V. Davis
The Freedom United Team
www.vickiedavis.freedomunitedteam.com

I am a cold turkey mom too. One of my twins sucked a paci but we just stop giving it to him and he would whine a little but then he would fall asleep. I would just let her cry... she will eventually get over it. Every child is different but think of it this way... if you keep pacifying her you will never get rid of it (no punn intended). Good luck and God Bless!

I have gone through the same thing. With my first, we started only having the paci in her crib or toddler bed, she was very responsible. My pediatrician said this was ok bc she just needed something else as a comfort item- her blankie. So, we started talking about giving her pacis to Santa so he could give them to the little babies who needed them. We talked about it different times--- no pressure. Then, I was going to do this whole-- envelope and place it in the mail with her with a picture of santa and a baby. I told her Santa would bring her something special at Christmas. So, I can't remember what month this was-- anyway- I just decided one day to take them and then at naptime I told her that Santa had come to take them. That day she did not nap. She did sleep. We talked about how exciting it was that she made a lot of babies happy. She was 2ish.
I have a 2nd child under 2 who still loves her paci. I am going to limit it to the crib. and who knows. I am ready to not have them but just realize it is ok.

Hope this helps. Let her have it. I would also take them on long trips before she gave them away. I have them saved to one day give to her.

I agree with Julie B.

Hi C.:

So, just my story - my daughter would not give up the paci until she was 4, threw sippy cups as fast as you could hand them because she wanted the bottle until she was well past two (despite my tough love efforts) and has gorgeous, perfectly formed mouth. My son, who I promptly removed the bottle and the paci, will be getting braces soon. There is the irony of killing yourself to "do the right parenting thing" instead of following what your child is telling you.

What do you gain by each side of the action?

Pro: You perhaps (and that is a big perhaps) get away without braces if you are successful.

What are the cons? Could you accidently teach your daughter that you are the one that removes the thing that gives them comfort and peace?

There is also research (my sons Nanny was a speech therapy grad) that indicates the sippy cup is more problematic that the paci. So, be careful jumping to listen to the standard lines and go with what is best for your child - in the long run.

I know that is not that helpful, but just food for thought. Maybe transitioning to cups that have straws instead of sippys and let her keep the paci for now. She is obviously old enough to be attached.

One idea that did work for removing it from my son, was that I clipped a tiny hole in the end of each paci one at a time(causes the suction not to work right). He questioned it and I said "You are such a big strong boy, the paci's are not quite strong enough". Then a week or so later, I made the holes a tiny bit bigger (all the while praying I could get through the grocery without replacing them!). As the holes got bigger, he begin to slowly lose interest, and begin holding them in his hand instead.

Maybe that would work for you. J.

She is not too young, it's not too late... but she may be too attached. I'm a cold turkey kind of mom and nanny too. But I'm not a paci mom or nanny at all. I think it's gross. They fall all over the place and carry germs, most people don't properly wash them (not saying that's you), and I just don't see the point. They shut up your baby... they are like baby gags if you really think about it. Not to mention, they mess up their teeth.

I nannied for a girl named Ava. She had bad teeth and a lisp when she talked. She was 3yrs old. Waaaay too old for a paci in my opinion.

My first 2 or 3 days I let her have it until she got used to me. The first day of no paci, I put her down for her nap, she cried. She cried. And she cried. This went on for about 45 minutes. She was quiet for a bit, snuggled up, and eventually went to bed. I didn't go in there once to cuddle her.

The next day it went on for about 30 minutes. The next day it went on for about 15, then 5, then she was good. It's not an overnight process. It will take a couple days. If you don't want her to have it, don't give it to her. It's that simple. Yeah, I know the crying sucks. But she will get over it.

The day you decide to cut it, how about you take her to the store and buy her a quiet, but cute cuddly thing to go in the crib and she can ONLY have it for naps and bed time. Read her a book, put her down, and give her the cuddly thing. When she wakes up, put it away. She'll probably cry for that too, lol. But you have to be strong. She won't understand, but after 2 days she'll get the idea and the cuddly thing is for sleeping.

We had the same problem with my daughter. You have already confined it to nap and be time which is a plus. My daughter was closer to 2 when we got rid of it. We waited to she was old enough to reason with and convinced her that our pet goats really needed it, so she willingly gave it to them. I don't think there is really any right or wrong way to do it, except to not do it at all. I can't stand seeing 3 or 4 yr. olds with them. Really it depends on what you can handle. Can you stand hearing her scream? If that's not working for you give up, wait a while, and try something else. Otherwise keep in mind that it will get better. She will eventually stop screaming and each day it will get easier. Good luck!