Getting over the Pooping in Underpants Stage of Toilet Training

I had a very easy time potty training my two kids but I had a friend whose son had a very difficult time pooping on the potty. She said that she would have him go around the house bare bottomed. Evidently he felt that pooping in his underpants was okay, but there was no way he was going to poop on the floor. It clearly sounds disgusting and a bit nutty but it worked for her.

I would also suggest putting a little potty in the spot where he likes to hide to poop?

Good luck!

poop is usually the last thing, well beside night time, to get into the potty. pee is usally a lot easier for many reasons mostly fear. I know the dirty undies are awful, but he will of course get it soon enough. does he go better at home then out? if it is a toliet issue maybe if he uses a little potty at home you can bring one and keep it in the trunk and have him use it when you are out. I know it is a bit nutty but I have one in my trunk (for if we are at a park or something) and if my DD (19 mo) has to go she just sits in the trunk and goes and she thinks it is great. lol. she is young so not really going all the time of course but we are starting. Oddly she poops on the potty not pees. I think it might have to do w/ the potty talk we do. I talk a lot to her about how it FEELS to go potty so I think she can feel the urge to poop not pee in time as she usually tells me pee after the fact, or during. maybe if you talk about feelings of poop tuning him into the cues that might help him 'get it' faster. I also tell her that the characters on her diapers say please dont poop on me plz poop in the potty in a silly voice and she likes this: yes I realize all this sounds nutty but it is working out pretty well for us. lol good luck, it will come, do what works for you. xo

potty training is a step toward independence. When a child is independent he is responsible to clean up after himself. At some point, when they accidentally turn over a bucket of legos, they have to clean them up. When they turn over a glass of milk, they need to clean it up. If they get water on their pants they need to go change them. It's a process toward independence. What I did with all 4 of my kids is become non-emotional about it. Yes, it IS frustrating when they pee or poo. I would take the approach of "oh my, I'm sorry you had an accident. Since you are such a big girl/boy, you need to clean up your accident". Then they had to take off their own wet/messy pants and underwear, wipe themselves down (if it was poo, I would clean after they cleaned) - and put their wet/messy clothes in a predetermined spot, and then go get their own clothing and put it on themselves. When it was poo, I would stand them in the bathtub to do it so no poo got on the floor. They HATED it. they HATED stopping what they were doing and the whole having to do it themselves. And know what? They didn't have to do it very many times. I was non angry, not confrontive, just shrugging and "oh my goodness" about it. It really helped with my frustration level too when I took myself out of the situation and made it THEIR responsibility and problem. And yes, it was MORE work for me, but not for very long.

If he poops at a regular time, try to catch him before an remind him to go potty. Maybe he is so busy playing that he forgets or goes last minute (= too late)?
I had a problem with my son (he was holding it) and the pediatrician recommended me to sit my son on the potty for a few minutes (the time to read a book together for example) just after each meal. Our body at this time has a natural need to go. And, it worked!
Now, just after lunch, before nap, I remind my son to go potty and he goes. If for some reason, the lunch takes longer (at a restaurant for example), I make him go before dessert, otherwise the window of opportunity is lost.
His body is also used to this routine now, so this has been working very well.
At 3, many kids live for long periods of time in their imaginary worlds and games. They need to be reminded and even told to go.
Good luck!

He will get it.
Just not yet.
Pooping is often the last 'stage' in toileting.
It can be an 'anxiety' and a physical thing....

When my daughter was that age, although we did not force her to poop... she got anxiety/stress about it. She then got constipated and started 'withholding' her poop. This then causes PAIN and the poop to get harder. It then gets harder to come out. It then causes pain, to come out. It then causes the child to NOT want to poop. Then a vicious cycle ensues.
We had to take our girl to a Pediatric Gastroenterologist. He said he see's this all the time, everyday. A child he said, should not be pressured to poop. They will get it. On their own. If not, they can get medical problems, like my daughter, and not want to poop... then constipation and/or "Encopresis" can occur... and then, they have to be treated, medically. Meanwhile, it is ALSO an 'emotion based' issue for the child. For my daughter's case... it took about 3 months, to overcome.. and to get her stool to a proper consistency and NOT be constipated.

Withholding poop... is uncomfortable, causes pain, blocks up the bowels, can distend the bowels and other things. Which requires medical help.

So now, with my son... I do not pressure him.

MANY kids, poop... later.

all the best,
Susan

Its good to hear your at a good start on the poop I have potty trained lots of kids but my main all day train was my hubby's nephew he lived with us and I potty trained him they usely have a set time and or place they poop at as you may already see try to catch him when its that time and or that place right after he gets to it and say its time to try to go poopy in the potty leave him there for a few mins and even walk out of the bathroom just peek around the corner to make sure he is not playing but if he still dont go in 10 to 15 mins take him again keep going every 15 to 20 mins after that if he goes in his pants in the process make him wipe his own butty with a wet wipe try this for a week or so he should get it my husbands nephew got it in 3 days he did not like cleaning that up at all and within a month he was totally potty trained total of 2 months to potty train him and no stay with the underwear it is a mess and all but its worth it we did the same thing you will think he will never get it just hang in there mama he will get it!!
best wishes!!
take care and God Bless!!

Discipline, Discipline Discipline, A healthy normal child at this age should not be pooping on himself, In the 13 years i have done daycare and have been potty training children, I never had a 3 year old not pooping in the regular toilet.
You started him late, so you are going to finish late, "Please try and poop in the potty" you are begging and pleading, instead of being the parent and, I don't want to use the word demanding obedience from your child, but i don't know another word to use. I made potty training fun and rewarding, for my 3 and all the many, many children over the past 13 years. I've had a couple parents tell me their pediatrician raved about how i potty train these kids. it does not have to be a battle. I'm sorry if I sounded harsh, I have read more potty training issues than anything else on this site, i have shared with so many moms over the last 2 years on how I trained my children and my daycare children but the same issue always arises. With your son, daddy should be involved if he is not, my husband was total hands on in working with me potty training our sons. at the age of 2 he was teaching them how to stand up and go, and like me he made it rewarding. Hope this helps a little. J.

I am with Robyn, let him clean it himself and remain non-emotional. My oldest and I battled with it for years until I found out that he had clogged the pre-school toilet when he was three and it scared him when it overflowed (he had gi-normous poops!) Then it became a control issue. I started making him clean it himself when he was 6 and it finally stopped. Good luck!

We are in the exact same place as you! Our son will be 3 in October as well, we also had a failed attempt at 2.5 and he is much more on board this time. Except my son spent the first few days holding his poop in and got terribly constipated. I surely don't have all the answers but we have been getting more regular poops on the potty from #1 keeping him full of fiber so he has to go more often and #2 "catching" him when he starts. I can almost always tell his "poop face" or stance and can catch him and get him on the potty in time. Obviously if he's hiding from you that won't work but maybe spend a day or two where you clear your schedule and have more time to watch him. I feel like every time we have a successful bm on the potty he gets a little more relaxed about the whole thing.
One other thing we've done is let him go pick out a "poo poo treat" at 7-11 or somewhere like that and he knows when he goes he gets it. It seems a little more immediate than having to earn stickers (which he does as well).
Just some ideas! Good luck! Funny that I thought at the beginning I could be writing this right now!

just hang in there!

I can totally relate to this as I just went through this with my son. He wasn't ready for potty training until after he turned three (in March) and he caught on to peeing in the potting fairly quickly once we moved from pull-ups to regular underwear - even wanted to pee standing up just like dad. But the BMs were another story - it didn't matter the incentives, the punishments, etc. - he wouldn't go in the potty, only in his underwear. This was a frustrating time for myself, my husband, and his teachers at daycare - but a couple of weeks ago, without any prompting from any of us he announced he wanted to use the potty and needed to go poop. Since then, he's been using it everyday without an accident and enjoys looking forward to his rewards on the potty chart we have.

I know this can be a frustrating time - there were days where I wanted to pull my hair out and scream - but this is an area where they have total control. It's hard, but try to stay calm, make him clean up his own BM (i.e., he needs to take off his underwear, put the poop in the toilet, flush, get the new underwear on, etc.) and eventually you and he will get there. As my mom always tells me, it's not like there are adults out there who aren't potty trained - everyone gets there in his/her own time.

Hi Kristine-
I went through this last year, My son is now 4 1/2... I do not agree with the Disipline, Disipline method, even though I did try it. I tried everything, from rewards, disipline, washing out his own undies. He would cry with such a broken heart He had to wait until he was ready. There was nothing I could do, and then one day to the next HE DECIDED HE WAS READY, it didnt take long. But Maybe it was when I laid off and showed him I still loved him??? All I can say is your so not alone and it will get better!!!
Good Luck Mama!!

Ask him why he doesn't want to use the potty. Ask him what he needs to make it work better for him. You may get some useful information. Does it feel weird to balance on the big seat while doing something so effortful? (My grandson's legs get pins and needles by the time he's done pooping – not too pleasant.) Would it help if he had a little potty on the floor? Does he have any fears, and ideas about how to feel better about those? And how would he like to celebrate when he figures it all out?

Get him involved in finding the solution, and he'll be more inclined in making "his" ideas work.

An idea for you would be to use a diaper liner in his underpants to simplify cleanup. (A dried baby wipe will work as well, and is reportedly cheaper). Double-stick tape might help hold it in place. If he has a usual time of day, so much the better – maybe one liner per day will do the job.

He will eventually get this. Possibly very soon, from all you describe. The less you can lean on him, the more quickly it's likely to happen. If you can just express cheerful confidence that he'll get it just as soon as he's ready, he'll know you're on his team, and may try harder to be on yours.