Getting 8 Month Old to Sleep Longer

Hi A.,
I am in the same kind of situation, except my daughter is 6 months and does not sleep with us. But she does the same, sleep for about 3 hours and then wakes up about every hour after that. If you get any good advice. Please send it on to me also. Thanks, G.

My son is 51/2 months old, I am a first time mother so by no means am I an expert. However, My son did the same thing. After tears I decided, I cannot function anymore with the sleeping routine, or lack of. I do not do the cry it out method either. What worked for me is I at around 9 I nurse him, feed him his solids, and nurse him agaain to sleep. I know the dr. says not too, but I just learned that he sleeps better on his tummy. So, I lay him on his tummy and he stays asleep for about 2 hours, I nurse him again at 11 and then he is out till about 2:45, Then awake again around 5:30 at that point I have my husband bring my son into bed with me since he is getting ready for work anyway. I know it's hard, but you just have to get up in the night and nurse him, he will eventually adjust to it. The bright side is that you get to co-sleep each morning. I would say the hardest part of the whole thing, is doing it. It's easier to say get up 3 times a night then actually doing it. Good luck and I hope this helps.

Dear Amiee,

I am the mother of three (age 3 1/2, 5 and 8) I never co-slept, so I'm no expert, but I did nurse all three of mine for 12-15 months each. If you want to try and ween him to his crib, you could try and sleep with the crib sheet tucked in close to you one night then put it on his crib mattress so it smells like you. Also this is the age they can start to find an attachment object like a blanket or small stuffed animal (you could do the same with that - sleep with it close to you and give it to him before his goes to sleep.)

I know it's tough, but if you can, try not to nurse him to sleep, as he sees you as his transition object and will want that everytime he wakes up. Having said all that my kids never consistently slept through the night until they were a year old. It's just hard that first year, teeth, growth spurts, colds etc. I wish you luck and hope you get some sleep soon.

L.

Try a routine every night, more than just eating and food, maybe a special book or song that lets him know it's bed time, my son is only 4 and a half months and he's sleeping through the night now with food, a bath, and then his bottle for bed (i was nursing but he started eating more than i could make) he slept about 10 hours a night, even with the breastmilk...it takes a little patience to start a routine like that, you have to learn what works for your family but it's well worth the time.

I had a similar problem. My daugther slept through the night from 3 months on....until she got really sick after her first birthday. Then she was up every so many hours. It drove me nuts, having been used to getting a good nights sleep. I read in a Parenting magazine an article called "Make any child a good sleeper". Well it said to set up a bedtime routine and do this routine every night. So I did and since day one it worked. Her routine is at 8pm I change her diaper, put her pj's on, brush her teeth, read her a story and then rock her for like 10-15minutes. She usually falls alseep quick but if she hasn't by 15 minutes then I put her in her crib to fall asleep on her own. It has worked wonderfully. It also said if she were to wake up, wait five minutes before you respond and then to gradually extend the time until he/she realizes that they need to work it out themselves. And when you respond don't talk to him/her just tuck them back in and say good night and then leave the room. That way they know you are there and they are not alone.

I think also maybe you should try him in his own crib. That is a really hard habit to break when they get older. I let my son occasionally sleep with me so that wasn't too big of a problem to break. But that is just my opinion. I hope you find something that works for you and your family. Best of luck:)

J. B.

Hi A.,
My son is 17 mos and I nursed him until he was 14 mos and we had the same problem. We did the family bed but I was up and down all night nursing him. We put the toddler bed in our room right next to the bed and he sleeps longer. I promise you it is for comfort that your son continues to wake up during the night. When I finally weened my son it took about three days, we stopped the daytime feedings first and then cut out the night time feedings. We did it during the time my husband was on leave. We didn't let him cry it out, we walked him and talked to him until he went back to sleep. I think my son still could sleep longer but we are working on that.
Make sure you do what is best for you and your family and watch out for people telling you what and what not to do. You could also try going in the living room with him for a few days not to disturb your husband but you son is still under 12 mos so I would keep nursing him if I was you.

I hope this helps, take care!!!

You might try cereal in a bottle before you put him to bed. Also, if you try putting in his crib at night, try bright colors or animals where he can see, also something w/your sent on it like a soft shirt (w/out buttons of course). I'm also a stay at home now, mostly since being in Germany, with a 6 and 16 year old. You also might try starting him napping in his crib first so he gets used to it. Good luck.

have your husband snuggle with him. My son is the same way If he snuggles near me he wants to nurse but if he snuggles with Dh he sleeps straight through the night. You can start trying to get him to sleep in the crib, I put him down when he seems tired but not totally asleep. I hate Cry It Out it never works for me.

I think getting him out of your bed might help. Being so close to you is like sleeping next to a big yummy pizza. It might be too tempting. Also, you and your husbands small movements may be waking him up.
I never slept with my son, but he was right next to our bed for his first 4 months and I ended up having to move him because we were waking each other up. He slept much better in his own room, although he still woke up and wanted to nurse much more than I wanted him to!
Have you tried giving him a bottle with water? Sometimes that helps, although for my breastfed son, it seemed to make him more angry!
The only thing that really worked with my son was to just say no. I started offering him the bottle of water while rocking him in our rocking chair and then once I realized that that didn't help at all (for him, it might for another baby) I just stopped picking him up at all and started just trying to soothe him from his bedside. I would leave for about a minute or two and then come back and then gradually just stretch out the time in between. When he got really upset, I would pick him up, although it didn't seem to help him it made me feel a little better!
My holding him seemed to make him more angry because then he was so close to my breasts that it REALLY frustrated him. He would just stretch, pull, and wiggle around screaming trying to get to them.
It took about a week for him to totally get it. Although, he didn't stop waking up at all until much later. His pacifier began to soothe him back to sleep instead of me! That was a BEAUTIFUL day!!
If he gets sick, it's only because he's so riled up. There is nothing pysically wrong with him so try not to let that alarm you too much.
It's a tough thing to wean a baby at night! I feel for you. Just know that he will survive and it is just the first of many disagreements the two of you will have in the years to come! ;)
If you can't handle him crying, you may just have to wait until he gives it up on his own. I did buy a book called The No Cry Sleep Solution. The basic advice was to give your child what he wants (nurse him) but try to cut him short before he falls asleep. If he cries, then let him nurse a little more and keep doing that until he falls asleep without your breast in his mouth. This advice sounds great, but it didn't work for me. In the middle of the night, I just didn't have the patience and would end up letting him fall asleep because I was so tired I just wanted to go back to bed. (It dragged on for quite a while because my son would get very annoyed every time I would stop him from nursing before he was asleep.) When he was in the bed with me, I almost always fell back asleep before he was done nursing so it would have been even more difficult for me to use that method in my bed!
GOOD LUCK! :)

A.,
Do you plan to always cosleep with your son? If so, I would just try to get used to this. If you are in the same room as your baby, he will want you every time he wakes up. If you are ready to sleep train your baby, you need to be tough. I sleep trained both of my children around 9 months after I got tired of waking up multiple times during the night. It takes about three nights of crying, but after that you're good to go. Check with the doctor first and make sure he isn't sick. You ablsolutely can NOT go in there or you are going to have to start all over. If he vomits, he will be OK. If he cries himself to sleep, he will be OK. This is just my method. But I've heard that Healthy Sleep, Happy Child is a good book.

I have four children .. and we have enjoyed co-sleeping with all of them. Two of them have done what your son is doing. And I agree with you that it is a combination of comfort and routine, etc.
I have found that (when baby is 6 mos+ and big enough for Daddy to feel he won't roll on) if I put the baby closer to Daddy, he sleeps longer. If he is closest to me, I think the natural thing if he wakes a little is to seek comfort and nurse ... If he wakes, my husband rubs and pats his back a little.
I have literally inched over to the edge before .. but it worked! I am still close and able to open my eyes or put my hand over and check on baby ..... and if Daddy can't comfort him enough, he scoots baby over to me and I nurse him back to sleep (I don't even have to fully wake up). You can try it on the weekend first so your husband can afford to sleep late or be a bit groggy.
If your baby is easy to transition into a crib .. that might be the thing for you. We are horrible with a crib.

There are surely people that will tell you it is time to transition baby out of your bed ..... please remember to be true to yourself and what is right for you and your family!!! What is great for one family might just be wrong for another...

Good luck!

GLerner

Look into swaddling your baby. It's worked wonders for my friend's two children and I've heard it's a very successful sleeping technique.

Hi A. M.
My names is C. R. we are stationed in England until 2010. Me and my husband have a two 1/2 year old little girl by the name of Emily. I did not breast feed but bottle feed her and the way we got her to sleep thru the night at 4 months old was we put ceral in her bottle and she slept thru the night til the next morning. Hope this helps.

C. R.

I found when I put my son in the crib he slept through the night!

I just got to Korea with my husband and 18 month old son. We co-sleep and breastfeed. Between the time change, lack of routine and space, he is waking up multiple times each night. My son is very stubborn and the cry-it-out is not for us, either. We are going to try the Elizabeth Pantley solution described above once we get settled into our apartment and our furniture comes. Whether you do Pantley or Ferber, it takes consistency. I also think the patting is good. If he stirs, don't offer him the breast right away just pat him and see if he settles. Sometimes that works.

get the book, "help solve your child's sleep problems" by Dr. Ferber...It will take some tough action, but it really works. Start gradually..I think your son is associating sleep with you and eating..that unfortunalty will have to be broken if you are to establish a regual sleep patern. Yes it is tough, but I can tell you worth it in the end. It worked for my son and our family. You will enjoy your time with your child more when everyone gets a good night's rest. Good luck

I coslept for the first six months out of sheer laziness, and after that it seemed that DS slept better (I know DH and I did) if DS stayed in his crib right next to the bed. He did not mind that transition at all, especially because I brought him to bed with me for the last couple of hours every morning. I also nursed DS for 18 months. Here's what I did:

First, I quit nursing DS to sleep between 6 and 8 months. It was a little rough, but when I combined Elizabeth Pantley's method and Dr. Jay Gordon's method (taking each step waaay slower than he recommends), we found a system that worked. I only let him fuss for 5 minutes at a time, which helped us both keep from losing it.
Second, I quit nursing him during the night at around a year (anytime after 4 was ok, but before that I'd just comfort him and offer water in a cup). It only took about a week of long nights before DS was sleeping for many hours at a time. DH and I shared the responsibilities of comforting DS when he woke up, but if you're cosleeping I've heard it might work better if you sleep elsewhere for a week and let DH take the nighttime reigns, and come back when DS is accustomed to not nursing at night. Perhaps when he has a long weekend off you could try?

OH, the website is: <http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp&gt;

good luck!

Hi! I am a SAHM and just went through a similar situation. I have a 4 year old and a 15 month old.

My first was so easy because we had a structured environment. But, my son was a little different. I had no choice but to have him in the bed with us from the start due to the fact that we were either at parents house or in temporary lodging while my husband went through some training for 9 months. He would wake every 2-3 hours and like you the reason was the same....he wanted to nurse not for nutrition, but for comfort. My mother pointed out that my son's sense of smell is so keen especially for breast milk. So naturally when he rustles around and smells it he wants a taste and it also provides comfort. Kind of like adults are when they smell their favorite food or coffee:) I had never thought about it like that before.

To make a long story short as soon we arrived to Germany and got settled into our home I decided that as much as I loved having him close it was time to transition him to his crib (he was 10 months old). I started with naps when my husband was at work. At night, I still got up and went to his room for the first couple of weeks 4-6 times a night sometimes to breastfeed when patting and cuddling did not work, but I established the fact that he was returning to his crib and starting limiting when I breastfed. He finally started sleeping through the night after about a month and I can honestly say that both of us are more rested and happy in the morning.

I stopped breastfeedinig completely around 13 months and now we lay hime down after his bath, give him kisses, cut off the light, and he puts himself to sleep without a problem. It is wonderful:)

Just remember, each situation is different and you know what you and your son need. It will take a lot of effort, a lot of patience and unsterstanding, and most of all you making up your mind on what is best for the both of you. Talk to your husband and decide together....whatever you decide, stick to it and do not waiver. The worst thing is to have him in a crib one night, your bed the next, and so forth. He will get so confused.

I don't know if this will work, but try holding him like you are nursing and giving him a pacifier. Gradually, move him away from you while he has the pacifier. Co-sleeping is a hard thing to break, but if you gradually try to move him into his own bed, you and your husband will feel much better with a good night's sleep.