Friend Experiancing Post Partum

Is she nursing him or not? That might affect whether or not she can try my answer...
A little over a year ago, my husband basically lost his job, we couldn't afford rent so we started moving into my in-law's basement, AND I was having a miscarriage! None the less, my doctor said I was suffering from a very understandable case of "situational depression"!! She tried me on antidepressant (Effrexor XR) but I seem to be allergic to it- I got severe headaches and insomnia. Since my depression wasn't too bad, she then recommended I take some OTC St. John's Wort. Maybe that would be an idea for your friend, too? (as long as she's not nursing, that is!)

Hi,

I had postpardum depression a little over a year ago. It is awful what your friend is going through. I waited too long to get help and actually ended up in the hospital. I would really encourage the whole family and her friends to be there for her and strongly urge her to seek professional help. I understand about the money which is why I tried to do it on my own but it actually costed me more.

If you are in Milwaukee I would recommend the Counceling Center of Milwaukee. It is located on the East Side. Phone: ###-###-####. The councelors are mostly students/recent-graduates who are getting experience. Their rate is, I think 10/session. Friends have had some good experiences there.

Alternately, spending the $20 to see an experienced professional is not the worst thing either. Your friend may find, in a short time, that the councelor/therapist has helped her find ways to cope. Being able to make it through the day without guilt, fear, depression, worry, anxiety, etc. is INVALUABLE. Don't I know that!

All you can do is offer the information. It must be her choice to seek help. You can help her to understand that asking for professional help is not selfish, that she may be a better wife and mother if she takes care of herself. Otherwise, the best thing you can do for your friend is to help her accomplish the things she worries about -- the house never seems clean enough, perhaps you could help her pick up, or offer to watch the baby while she gets some things done.

Hi M.!

Does someone in the household have an Employee Assistance Program? A lot of times they will offer a certain amount of free counselling sessions each year. I know mine offers 6 a year.

Next, she could look into support groups. A hospital would have a list of them. I am sure somewhere there is one for post-partum.

Last, I also have a friend that suffers with depression. One of the things she does to cope is she takes a significant amount of B-12. It is a natural way to combat sad feelings and bad moods.

I hope this helps! Good luck!

Have her talk to her Ob/gyn or family doctor to have them refer her to a service, or have her look through her husband's health benefits book to find someone or if she's in school to go to the counseling center or to her Pastor or to her job's EAP program. She must talk to someone other than her friends and family. I had post partum and it lasted so long that it turned into a mild depression. By that time, nothing would make me happy. Only by doing something drastic, like divorce, did I feel I had any control in my life. Only my re-newed faith and time got me through a 1 1/2 years of hell.

Dear M.: I have two children. My son is 5 years old and my daughter is 7 years old. When I had my son I went through a horrible time in my life. I had post partum depression/anxiety attacks. My Mom had died 6 weeks after the birth of my son and then my son was in the ICU for Asthma attacks and I almost lost him. It became overwhelming for me so I went to see a pychiatrist and many doctors. I became there guinea pig with all different meds and therapy. The thing that helped me was the therapy. I was a good Mom and I needed to hear it. It makes me so angry to read things that say they are concerned about woman with post partum depression because of that one basket case woman drowning her children in a bath tub and then they blamed it on post partum depression.I dont believe for one second that it was post partum depression. I honestly believe woman with depression are woman that put to much stress on themselves to be perfect until it becomes overwhelming and like you stated she is a good Mom with good kids. I have received the same compliments. She is lucky to have the husband she does because now my ex husband was not there for me. More people felt sorry for him in his family than caring for me. Im telling you right now M. the best thing you can do is just be their as her friend. She needs you probably more than anyone else. Therapy is a good thing to get into also and I know all about the copays but, there comes a time when if Mom isnt happy no one is and she needs to realize that this is helping the whole family by helping herself. If she wants she can email me personally. I have got through a whole lot of rough patches of depression/anxiety and Im no longer on meds or in therapy and doing good. But, for me it was my friends,family and my therapist that helped me. I dont give credit to anyone else. Im now looking into school to become one because I have lived that life and its hard and stereotypes make it 3 times worse. Tell her she is a great Mom she will appreciate it. I hope this helped. Take care and just you writing this letter shows your a great friend.

J.