20 answers

Four Year Age Difference Between Kids

Hello ladies,

I am currently pregnant with number 2 who will be four years and two months younger than DS. I am looking for mama's out there who have children about four years apart. How did you like it? Can you give me some pros and cons? I guess I'm just a little worried about the age difference....I would have preferred about 3 years but things don't always work out the way you want them to! Thanks!

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My boys are 4 years and one month apart and I love the age gap! My oldest was a "big boy" when his brother was born and could help out with taking care of the baby. I had 4 years with the oldest and b/c my oldest is pretty independant I get some quality time with the youngest. My little guy adores his big brother and is his little shadow and although he complains occasionally the oldest relishes in it :)
The one con I find is that my little one is growing up faster than his brother did. Does that make sense? At 2 my oldest loved Sesame Street and Elmo but my now 2 y/o likes Bakugans and football b/c that's what his big brother is into.
I think the age gap is nice b/c my oldest has a sense of needing to "take care" of his little brother and is very protective of him when we are in groups or with cousins, etc.

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter is 5 y/o and I am 3 months along with my second. This seems like a match made in heaven. My daughter is pretty much self sufficient - if she had to be, 100% potty trained, about to be in her own room and bed, and going to kindergarten. She's been very loving and helpful to me in the past when I was a Nanny or Babysitter and she's excited about a new sibling.

The age difference couldn't have worked out better!! Each of my children will have 'one on one time' with their Mommy.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

My boys are 4 years and one month apart and I love the age gap! My oldest was a "big boy" when his brother was born and could help out with taking care of the baby. I had 4 years with the oldest and b/c my oldest is pretty independant I get some quality time with the youngest. My little guy adores his big brother and is his little shadow and although he complains occasionally the oldest relishes in it :)
The one con I find is that my little one is growing up faster than his brother did. Does that make sense? At 2 my oldest loved Sesame Street and Elmo but my now 2 y/o likes Bakugans and football b/c that's what his big brother is into.
I think the age gap is nice b/c my oldest has a sense of needing to "take care" of his little brother and is very protective of him when we are in groups or with cousins, etc.

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter is 5 y/o and I am 3 months along with my second. This seems like a match made in heaven. My daughter is pretty much self sufficient - if she had to be, 100% potty trained, about to be in her own room and bed, and going to kindergarten. She's been very loving and helpful to me in the past when I was a Nanny or Babysitter and she's excited about a new sibling.

The age difference couldn't have worked out better!! Each of my children will have 'one on one time' with their Mommy.

1 mom found this helpful

My girls are 4y5m apart, now (almost) 8.5 and 4 years old. When the baby came along, my older was a "big" girl--potty trained, talking, sleeping through, etc. and was able to prepare and help with the baby. Through the years they have grown very close and are best friends, but also fight quite a lot now that they are a bit older. However, their fights are about very sibling-y things--if she's going to do that then I'm going to do this!, she's copying me! (which is also a game they play), why can't I have what she's having!, I only want to play with whatever you're playing with!--those kind of things. My older one teaches the younger SO many things, reads to her, helps her with everything and the younger one loves her sister to death. I know that the fights they have now they will grow out of, and they will cycle into new and different disagreements as they get older, but the bond they have will last forever.

My husband and I are ready to try for #2 in the next few months and are hoping to have our little ones around 4 yrs apart. Think about it...
- 1 on the potty 1 in a diaper
- 1 set of braces at a time
- 1 college tuition at a time
- "big boy" who may understand having a new baby a little bit better

Maybe it's just our rationalization, but we agree that this is a good age span!

My sister and I are 4 years apart and didn't play together a whole lot when we were little. It's a big gap in some ways. But, that meant that we each had a lot of 1:1 in our very early years with our mom since she was in school when I was born.

You can't change the difference so just try to only listen to the positives in their age difference!

Well I am four months along with #2 and dd will be almost five when the baby is born in July. I am looking forward to being able to spend all that special one on one time with the baby that I got to spend with my dd. DD will be in school full time so I will just have the baby during the day which I think is great. Also I know my dd will be a big help and more than anything she is old enough to understand more, is not completely self-centered like a toddler, and is looking forward to being the "big" sister---that has its privileges =) I think the best thing you can do is realize that this time around you may need to be a little more go with the flow. With dd I was very strict with schedules and nap times, but this time I plan to be a bit more flexible. I will need to be attending things for my older child, so baby will need to adjust to that--I guess the baby will learn to sleep on the go lol!

My kids are 6 years apart and I love it! There was (and sometimes still is) some jealousy from the older one because the baby gets more attention, but now that they're older (3 and 9), it's easier because they can chat and work things out for themselves better.
My next one will be at least 4 years younger than my youngest and it's not how I planned it either, but I know they'll be fine. My siblings and I are 23, 25, 28, 34, and 36 and we all love each other to pieces. :)

My kids are 5 years apart and so far I think it is wonderful. I used to worry too, but I relaxed and just enjoy watching them together. My son who is 6 now has the impulse control to not do anything rash when his sister (1 yr) is acting like a toddler! They just love each other. She adores him and wants to copy everything he does. He just loves her and is very proud to show off his little sis to his friends. They play "chase" around the house, he pulls her in her wagon, he helps her to do things, and she is always giving him hugs, which he loves! I have time alone with her when he is at school and I take her to the toddler activities around town in the mornings. We can put her to bed at 7 and then have an hour of time with just our son each evening which he thinks is special bc he thinks he staying up late. There are pros and cons to every age gap!

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