Four-year-old Waking up at Night

We just went through this with our 4.5 yr old. He'd been waking up over night for almost 2 yrs, and we finally took him to a sleep doctor.
Nothing was physically wrong with him, so it was clearly behavioral.

So, we wound up at a sleep specialist.

She had us totally change his routine (had been the same since he was an infant).
For us, it was no TV after dinnertime, only books after tub, no sugar after dinner, and an earlier bedtime. He now goes to bed at 7:15.
She also had us get an alarm clock that tells him when it's OK to get out of bed (the whole clock lights up green). He can't get out of bed before then...and it's actually worked.

It took about a week for him to adjust, but I can honestly say we've had more nights sleeping all the way through, an no more night terrors, than anything else for the last 2 mos.

Based on what we experienced...both the doctor and the specialist would tell you to get rid of the night lights. She needs to sleep in a dark, quiet, cool room.

She does phone consults, if you'd like her information. It's $125...and for us, it was worth every penny. She knows her business!

Both my kids did this around age 3. I just told them they could come in, but not wake us up. They slept on the floor on my side of the bed. I did NOT make it cozy for them. They only brought in their blanket or pillow or stuffed animal. One of them only did it for a couple weeks the other was a couple months. But that way, we all got to sleep and they eventually just grew out of it and stayed in their own beds. They are 13 and 10 now and are very good sleepers. Good luck!

It's a stage but here are some ideas that might work for you.

My child does not like the dark so we use nightlights even though my
husb was against it. Hey it helps my son sleep. I do get those extra
bright ones though. Also, a Dream Lite has helped immensely. I've
even given ones to my neices. You can set the timer on it to go off in
15 mins.

Btw, maybe try 2 nightlights instead of 4.

Also, wether young kids understand death or not, they still know that
something sad has occurred although not quite what it was so they do not know how to process it.

Losing pets can be traumatic too. My SD was off on her sleep for 2 mos when that happened to her 1st dog. She was not attached to my 3 dogs so when they passed so she didn't mourn them at all.

They need to grieve, be given extra comfort & hugs throughout the day and right before bedtime.

If you don't want to walk her back to her bed (I'm not a fan of the locked doors either & the baby gate doesn't sound like it will work), then maybe put a sleeping bag down on the ground next to your bed or at the foot of the bed. Tell her if she wakes up in the middle of the night and is scared, she can very quietly walk into your room & climb into the sleeping bag but she needs to be quiet and not wake you. I am not really a fan of this idea b/c I think it will be harder to keep her out of your room so only use this as a very last resort.

When you read books before bedtime, make sure there isn't the slightest scariest thing in the content.
Hang in there as this should pass soon.

Could you allow her to have a sleeping bag in your room. Tell her not to wake anyone up, but to just get in the sleeping bag on the floor and go back to sleep.

She can even bring the petal with her.

I'd just let her get in bed with me and get some sleep. But I realize there are people who don't care to do that.

Here are the things I'd think on.

She's hungry because she's about to have that last preschool growth spurt. She needs a lot of calories right now and she'll go back to her normal way after she does her growing thing. Give her a high protein and carbohydrate snack not too long before bedtime.

She's had a turn around in her brain and suddenly she does not need as much sleep as you are trying to get her to do.

She is truly afraid, hence the sleep pattern with the kiddo sleeping in my bed so we can get some sleep.

No suggestions, but you're not alone. One of my granddaughters did this for a little while when she was about that age. She didn't complain that she was scared, but there she was, up and ready! Her parents finally laid down some night-roving rules: no leaving the house (there were extra locks on the doors for a while just in case she "forgot"), no turning anything on, no waking up her sisters, no sleeping late the next morning. What she did at 3 a.m. she had to do quietly and on her own. During this time she came to our house to visit, and said, cheerfully, "Gran, don't worry if I get up in the middle of the night and walk around." I asked, "Why do you get up in the middle of the night and walk around?" and she replied, "I like to see how everything looks in the dark." (Oh, and happy birthday to your night owl!)

My 4-yr old did the same thing for a few months. I remember thinking, but he's 4! I thought I would get some sleep by now! Haha!

Anyway, I disagree with several comments about making her a bed in your room. I think that is just encouraging her to come and sleep with you, which is clearly not what you want.

When my son would get up, I would not talk to or engage him, at least if I knew there was nothing really wrong. I severely limited our interaction. I would take him back to his bed, tuck him in and leave the room. At the most I would say, it's time to sleep. Eventually he realized getting out of bed was getting him nowhere and he stopped.

I also have the yellow to green light (from One Step Ahead) and swear by it! My kids get up when it's green and not a moment sooner (even if they have to pee, they go and get back in bed).

I also agree that it's just a phase and will get better. Consistency is important. Furthermore, I remember bribing him a bit too. I think it was 3 days of not getting up in the middle of the night and he got a toy or treat or something along those lines. My kids respond well to rewards and the behavior continues even after their prize. Good luck!