For Fun-does How Your Man Dress Really Matter?

Yep it matters! While I am not mean if he needs a hair cut or shave, shower, mouthwash, I tell him straight up....Whether we girls are paying attention or not...men do like women to do their best to take care of themselves....The same standard should apply as well.

I think it is normal for guys to be a bit less hygienic than us gals. If it bothers you, hop in the shower and invite him to come along sometimes:) If it were me I wouldn't make a big deal about it if that was all that was going on. Now if he was not going to work, sleeping a lot, doing nothing at home but plopping on the couch, then I would actually be concerned about depression or something. But if it is just a matter of slobbing around a bit, I personally wouldn't worry about it.

Mine has always been a redneck since day one. We are comfortable with not shaving everyday, and guilty of staying in pj's all wknd.
If you are finding it a turn off for you, maybe inviting him into a "playful" shower may resolve your issue ;)

Of course you shouldn't drop it!!

You are not being shallow at all. You are supposed to have sex with this man. He should at the very LEAST be showering. And it really hurts to kiss a scratchy face.

You have every right to bring this up to him, and show him the posts from the moms if you have to. You can't control how he dresses, maybe, but he and his clothes should be clean.

Um, sorry, but what you describe is really smelly and is even concern for possible depression.

Self care is one of the first things that goes when s/o looses interest in their surroundings and self.

My questions:
Does he work outside the home? IF so, does he go to work like that?
What climate do you live in? NV can be very hot, but dry....so doesn't he smell?
Where did he learn these habits?
Is he aware that you are bothered?

It's just the pits when these behaviors happen AFTER marriage, b/c the odds of your ability to effectively make a difference for the better decrease. It's also one thing if you're out camping and roughing it, or it's a vacation and you're just totally relaxed. But what you describe is clearly diff.

Have you had a serious heart to heart chat with him, a serious I need your complete attention about this issue NOW and let him know that for many reasons you would so appreciate a more consistent effort on his grooming.

FYI, with close to 20 years of marriage for us, my husband showers daily, clean underwear daily, I like it when he does not shave on the weekends - it feels great having his stubble rubbed on my body. But there is no way I would make love to an unkempt man.

Another mama here asked a bathing question about her friends kids being filthy all the time. I'll try to find and send you the link. Otherwise you can look it up, but I don't think the title tells all.

Here's the other bathing link:
http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/17404380212703133697

It's a very different set of circumstances...but the answers are great!

On the one hand, it's nice if my husband has some pride in his personal appearance. On the other hand, I don't expect him to doll up in a 3 piece suit everyday.
We've been married 21 years - and we've seen it all - dress up Christmas parties, weddings, and we've been sick (he was very kind to hold my hair out of the way when I was throwing up). I was not a pretty sight for quite awhile after having our son, and he's kind of grungy if he's been working on the cars, cleaning out the garage, tilling up the garden or cutting down trees. He's not a slob, but after shaving every day for work, he'll sometimes take a break from it on the weekend.
What ever you guys have got going for you,
you have to love each other for your true selves, warts and all.
And every one of us has our share of warts.
I don't think your husband is doing anything particularly disgusting.
If you want, get him several pairs of the shirts/pants he tends to wear for several days in a row, switch them out and wash them on the sly.

My husband is the same clean shaven, well dressed man I met 23 years ago. On weekends, if we are going out in the evening, he'll skip the morning shave and shave late in the afternoon instead.
We'll have been married 21 years in December. He showers every day. He shaves every day. He runs 4 - 5 times a week.
If my spouse suddenly stopped taking care of himself, I'd have him at the doc's office finding out what was wrong.
LBC

he got comfortable with you. :) he doesn't have to dress to impress anymore its normal. me personally I like the unshaven over the shaven beards just drive me nuts. :)

YES it matters!!!!! I don't care so much about the shaving, but the clothes and the showering are icky! My husband is a night showerer, but on Saturdays he showers in the morning. So he goes all day Saturday and all day Sunday with out a shower. It's gross. I can smell him. He doesn't smell bad, he just doesn't smell all clean and fresh. He likes to sleep in a t-shirt and then wear it to work the next day. I think it's gross. Again, it's not that he smells, it's just a dirty shirt. He would gladly wear ripped jeans and t-shirts to the store. I refuse to go anywhere with him unless he looks presentable. In my opinion our personal hygiene shows a lot about us. I want my family to look neat and clean.
Personally, I think I would say something to him.

Welcome to my world. My DH works with concrete, he wears work clothes everyday unless we are going to a wedding or party, etc. And by work clothes I mean jeans with stains and holes and patches, and ripped shirts. Since its hunting season here in MN he also refuses to get a jair cut or shave his face. It looks like Im married to a homeless man. I have asked him plenty of times to let me cut his hair or shave his face and I get the same answer "its hunting, I cant shave til its over or its bad luck" ! When we first met he was always dressed in nice jeans and shirts with no holes, but when you get comfortable with someone I guess things change. My DH does shower everyday though, but he doesnt brush his teeth in the morning and that bothers me. I would just try to ignore it and stop bothering him, most likely he wont change anyways, just like my DH.

i'd be a bit put out at this, i must say. my dh sometimes skips shaving on weekends, but he never goes a day without a shower. it's a tough spot for you, though. if you push it to the point of nagging, he may just go silent and inexorable. it's probably better to go in the opposite direction, be subtly less available in all ways when he's a bit funky, and engaged and dynamic (and..er....interested) when he's spruced up.
there's a degree of manipulation in my suggestion that honestly makes me a little uncomfortable. but if direct communication isn't doing the trick, it beats adding disgust and resentment into the relationship.
khairete
S.

I would sweetly mention how much you love it when he smells good and looks clean shaven. Pay some extra attention to him. When he smells or looks bad dont seem so interested. After all, how would he like it if you were smelly and scruffy?? I'm not suggestion you do this but think about it and if you have to, ask him.

i wouldn't care too much as long as he's not discusting, like not changing underwear every day...sometimes it takes a week for my husband to shave, but he knows i HATE him not shaving, so i've told him i will not kiss him with the fuzz cause it makes ME itch and red if i do, so he knows he has to keep it cut if he wants any of that with me. my husband also wears the same clothes 2 or 3 days in a row, but his motto, i get all gross in sweaty ne ways, so it helps save on the laundry costs. as long as he doesn't wear it around me, i'm cool (he has a clean pair of clothes he changes into after his shower when he gets home)

Well for me it doesn't really matter as long as he doesn't stink. He does shower everyday but he does not shave everyday. He actually can't shave everyday. He breaks out something fearse when he shaves. It doesn't bother me. I like it that way. Cause when he shaves and it starts to grow in it scratches me. The only time that he will wear the same pants as the day before is when he is working on a car or mowing the lawn. Why put on clean clothes is you are just going to get nasty dirty anyway. He does shower right after he does these things and puts on clean clothes. And when we go out he does dress nice and when he puts on Polo man he smells good!! He showers in the morning and might skip it if he wakes up too late but will shower when he gets home. But that is far and inbetween. But if we had a very busy week we will sometimes just lounge around on the weekends. Nothing wrong with that. Try setting out clean clothes for him everyday and see if he takes the hint.

My husband doesn't shower every day, but he doesn't smell at all! Most men probably do, but he can go three days and not even smell. But he does take a shower about every other day. He does shave every day. He also sometimes wears clothes a few days in a row, if they aren't dirty. That's the frugalness in him - saves on washing clothes and wear and tear on clothes. He doesn't wear the same clothes to work, but when he gets home, he puts on shorts and a t-shirt and will wear that a few days in a row. Doesn't bother me. If your husband disgusts you, you need to tell him gently, and keep on it and maybe he'll change it.

Unless he is working out or has a job that is causing him to get funky, 4 days a week for a shower is fine. And if the clothes look clean and don't smell, who cares if he wears them more than once.
I would address the shaving though. If he wants a beard or goatee, then he should stop shaving and just keep it groomed nicely. If not, then he needs to shave everyday.
If on the other hand he is dirty and smelly, then you've got something to beef about! LOL

My husband finally QUIT shaving (call it shave-itis after shaving 7 days a week for 10 years in the military). He goes from a full, well-groomed beard to a goat-tee (Is that what it's called?) depending on his mood but I really like him better with it!

He showers EVERY morning and sometimes at night depending on how his day goes (as a federal ageant, there are days where he has to go dumpster diving for a case or sit in on an autopsy--those days he better strip in the garage!!!) and because he wears suits to work and jeans only four hours a day after he gets home he will wear them for two or three days as well.

No problem here. BUT....the bottom line here is what you consider to be attractive and if he's not meeting that then you need to have a tactful conversation about it with him.

my husband is a professional biz owner so is in dress clothes every day, and clean shaven. he doesn't shave on the weekends, which i love! i like that he looks relaxed, easy going and sexy, i call him my lumberjack! anyway, i think you need to talk to him or you will be getting divorced, it's as simple as that. you NEED to be attracted to your mate. you will accept it only for so long and then it will REALLY start to bother you to the point that you may not be able to come back from it. so tell him you think hes sexy when he's clean shaven, clean teeth and breath and clean clothes on. PROVE it to him and hop on him when he's like that...that will definately give him motivation! kiss him right after he's brushed his teeth and say...mmmm...yummmy...rub your hands on his face and say, hey sexy...he'll start to get the hint!!!

We all need down time, My Hubby loves when I do my make-up and ware dress clothes, but I like to be comforatable. I like him to be well dress, clean shaven and not cranky I don't get that everyday either, so we appriciate it all that more when we do get dress up for eachother. and we do it just for eachother.

My husband also works w/ concreate. He drive the truck, so he is always in cut off shirts that are stained, everything is stained, yuck.

My husband is clean but he had the hem of his brand new jeans altered, once, and he made them too short. He wore them around anyway, Lol! . I told him that he looked like a special needs person with those too short pants. Mens pant hems should be slouching over their shoes. Now, I make him try his new pants on and I measure exactly how much length needs to be taken off.

Asking that your husband shower every day is NOT asking too much at all. Maybe this is how he was raised? I know people who only bathe their children 2 - 3 times a week and I find that equally disgusting. My son will soon be 4 and we have been bathing him daily ever since his umbilical cord fell off (of course there have been a handful of times when we skipped his bath because we were traveling and arrived home after 10pm). The excuse I hear from parents is that there is not enough time for a daily bath but I am sorry, that is a bunch of bs. When we are pressed for time, I will soap him up and rinse him off. He's in and out of the bath/shower in less than 2 minutes. Your husband can do the same. You need to be honest with him and let him know it bothers you.

I totally like it BETTER when my hubby is better groomed. That being said there are days I slack off in the grooming department so I don't expect him to do something I am not 100% on top of myself. I do make sure to flirt with him a bit more and compliment more when he does look nicer. Then it happens more often. =0)

The shaving thing I think is fine although might limit certain things...but not showering is SO NOT okay...a shower every day is required in my book. And wearing the same clothes in the same week seems like you're probably wearing dirty clothes. I guess there's no harm in wearing a pair of jeans of something like that again, but shirts should be new each day.

Good luck! I've been married seven years and my guy still grooms!

-M