I recently posted a 'poll' regarding how much your toddler/preschooler sleeps. I got so many responses - thanks! But, I forgot to ask, does your 2-3 year old awake in the middle of the night? Mine still does, frequently. My husband thinks there is something 'wrong' with our son because he still wakes up in the middle of the night almost every night. He, for the most part, just cries out a little, and then just goes right back to sleep, but sometimes he wakes up crying and needs me to come back in and pat him to sleep, or get him ice water, or read a book, or whatever. I can't tell if he really needs me or if he is just trying to gain some control. I really want to move him to a toddler bed (he's still in his crib and doesn't try to get out), but with all his night wakings I am worried about never getting any sleep myself!! He's almost three and I've got a 5-month old, who by the way, is a better sleeper than he is. Anyway, are others of you dealing with this? What have you done that has been helpful?
My oldest started sleeping through the night at 18+ months.
That was over a year ago and every so often, she still wakes and needs milk. She does talk and sometimes cry out in her sleep. That's just how she is. When she's talking or crying out (as in 2-3 seconds of ahhhhh), we just listen. If she keeps going, we go to her and meet her needs. In general, that's maybe 1-2x/month. You son sounds typical to me.
My daugther is 3 and she does wake up usually once a night to go to the bathroom. I help her, get her back in bed. She asks me to lay with her for "5" mins, which I sometimes do. She usually falls back asleep immediately. We moved her from a crib to a regular bed for 6 months now and honestly, she has gotten out about 3 times. I told her that it is safer for her to stay in bed and ask me to come to her.
I make any night time encounter comforting, yet brief. Reminder her that it is night time and everyone is asleep. And pretty much leave. Sometimes I lay with her but never for more than a few minutes. If she needs water, I give her that, but I won't sing, or read or tickle her back, etc. It sounds mean, but I am tired and don't want her to think it a reward to wake up.
My daughter does cry out in her sleep a lot. I found that if I just go in, it disrupts her and I end up having to spend more time. So, I stopped going in unless the crying continues. more often then not, she just falls back asleep or was having a dream and I don't have to go in.
Ask him what is wrong, they should be able to voice a little bit on why they woke, or cried out. Try not to suggest anything because that may only put ideas in his head... could simple say was it a dream or do you hurt anywhere.
My daughter has a nightmare one to two times a week between 1 year and 3 years, by 2 she was able to voice that she was dreaming that she was falling, I asked how and she said just falling nothing was around her like a BIG hole and she never landed (woke up before hand). I would reassure her that mom and dad were always there for her, she would go back to sleep shortly. She is now 3 1/2 years old and maybe once a month this would wake her up but we have gotten into the habit of praying and saying sweet dreams which seems to reassure her that she is not alone even though we are not in the room with her.
Sometimes she would say her legs hurt, which I am pretty sure are growing pains because this would also happen around the time she eats everything in sight & never seems full. In this case I would message her legs for a minute or two and she would say she felt better and would go to sleep.
Other times it might be noises but shortly after 3 years she stopped crying or screaming out because of sounds or lack there of. We would always let her know that we were always there for her... actually switching to a big bed helped with this because she felt more in control that she could come by us if really scared (which she never has done since she switched to a big bed). Now switching to a bed helped us but may not work the same for everyone.
Good to hear I'm not alone. I have a 19month old that also doesn't sleep at night. She wakes up every night and same situation as yours. When she wakes up, she no longer wants to be in the crib, so we have to either rock her, read a book, put some TV on until she falls back asleep. Sometimes, it can take upto 3hrs to get her back down. This behavior started happening once she started teething at around 12months and hasn't changed since. I did talk to her pediatrician and after complaining about it to him for 7months, he finally referred us to a sleep specialist to see what is causing her to wake up. We have an appointment next month, so we'll see what happens. I can totally relate to you and working a full time job with just 3-4hrs of sleep.. it's rough!!!
I answered your original question too, and said my son gets 12-13 hours of sleep I believe. Afterwards I was thinking maybe I should go back and add that he does still wake up in the night, probably half the time. Mine is in a regular bed, so he is able to come in my room.
My opinion is that this is normal. Not ideal, but there is nothing "wrong" with your son. He hasn't learned to put himself back to sleep yet. We are working on that with mine, but because my husband travels a lot, I am skeptical that it will happen easily for us. I also do not think your son actually "needs" anything either. He just can't go back to sleep and needs your help to do so. What you need to work on with him to teaching him to self soothe. Do you have to rock him or pat him to sleep? Getting him to fall asleep on his own is crucial to getting them to sleep through the night. My son used to go to sleep on his own and stay asleep, but when my husband started going out of town, it all went out the window. I have finally gotten him to put himself to sleep again, but the staying asleep didn't come with it like last time. I think the big boy bed contributes to that, because he can just get up.
Try getting the book No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley. That is going to be my next step personally. I have had it recommended by several people. I am guessing since you do get up with him that cry it out isn't something you are comfortable with. Her methods do not require you to let them cry. I used her book for infants and babies to get my son to sleep through the night the first time around, so that is why it is my first choice this time too. Hope that helps.
I did read the original question but didn't answer since my son is 5 and isn't a toddler anymore :) But, I will say that when he was 2-3, he slept about 10 hours at night and took about a 2 hr nap in the day. He began sleeping through the night at 12 weeks old but occasionally would wake up at night just like anyone does. I moved him to a regular bed at 2 1/2 and it worked out great, he never got out of bed by himself. He stopped napping right after he turned three and pretty much has kept with the 10 hour at night sleep from then until now. Occasionally he'll sleep 11 hours at night (like last night for instance).
Totally normal for your son to occasionally wake at night and need you. But, if it is a lot, then he needs to learn to self sooth himself a little more. Does he have a lovey or a stuffed animal he can cuddle with? And if he just needs a small drink or a back rub, no problem, but I would NEVER be reading to him in the middle of the night. That is sleep time, not reading time... reading time is a day time thing. If he is getting you to read to him, then that is him trying to keep you in there and keep your attention. You should try and give him the least amount of attention in the middle of the night. Like I said, I believe it is fine to need a little cuddle or back rub or whatever but never more and the less, the better. If you keep paying a lot of attention to him when he wakes then you'll be doing this for years to come, keep it simple and quick and let him learn to sooth himself. You can quickly reasure him he is fine and then let him know you'll be back in a minute to check on him etc. Eventually, he'll learn to fall back asleep on his own.
Totally normal. No control issues. My son wakes sometimes just like yours, and so do a lot of others that I've heard from other moms. When you start to read a little on sleep cycles, you can see how he might be being in a light sleep state at the same time that his body gets thirsty or has to pee, and it may wake him up. If he wakes up, he may be disoriented and need some comfort. Nothing wrong with that, it's healthier to let him know you're there for him and help him relax. I remember sleepwalking as a child and it was terrifying to wake up somewhere else. I wish I would have had a gentle nurturing parent help me get back to sleep. Also he has a very active imagination at this age, and that may be contributing to vivid dreams that wake him up. If he watches TV, you may want to cut that off, at least in the several hours before bed.
My two were the same way. Our daughter was still getting up multiple times a night. Nothing stopped the crying other than going in to see what was wrong. It didnt matter what we tried, nothing worked. She just was a "terrible" sleeper. There was nothing wrong with her, she just didnt sleep as soundly as others. My son slept much better than her though he didnt sleep through the tight consistantly until he was 18 months old...
I know it sounds like forever, but you just have to work through it. Eventually they sleep. Now 5 and 3, my 3 year old sleeps through the night, but my 5 year old still gets up a few nights a week to go to the bathroom.
P.S. one thing we did do with our poor sleeper was let her have a sippy of water in bed with her. It didnt help with keeping dry at night, but she was still in pullups then and it helped if she needed a drink of water, she didnt need to call mommy and daddy...
When my son was your son's age he would wake up and cryout and it was usually due to growing pains. A little rubbing and he was back to sleep. You might want to ask him if his little legs hurt, just to make sure it's not that.
I know I'm late with the poll but wanted to add my two cents about some kids need lots of sleep.
From age 2-5 my son took an afternoon nap about 2-3 hours. His bedtime was 7p and he was up at 5-6(his body clock was always early). He needed 13-14 hours of sleep. He at age 11 is just now going to an 8:30 bed time on school nights and he gets up at 7a (10 1/2 hours).
S.
From my experience, if you go in there to console your toddler, then he will be much more likely to keep waking to get your attention. I have also read that earlier bed times can help children stay asleep all night. Also, I would suggest leaving any toddler in a crib as long as they will stay in one. It will be a battle any time you change to something new but you should try and put the struggle off as long as you can. This way he may be more developmentally ready for the transition.
My daughter will be 3 at the end of May and she does not wake during the night. Both of my boys, however are 4 and 6 and they will still occassionally wake. Not sure if it's a difference in gender but that's what happens at our house. :)
My daughter is 26mon. and for the most part sleep all night. She was out of her crib by 18 months cause she could get out of it, she was a good sleeper. But when she moved to a toddler bed she would wake up many times a night and most of the time it was cause she rolled out of bed so I would go in put her back and she would go right to sleep. Then about 22 months we put her in a twin and she had no more problems, I think it was because she had the room to move around. Most of the time when she gets up now its cause she can not find the bink. ( yes I know she is 26 months and still has one but I am working on it.) Maby he is getting up cause the crib is just to small for him? My daughter is tall so I know she would not beable to be in one still. Its going to be a little hard when you do put him in a big boy bed but it will only last a few weeks. Good luck.
That's so completely normal. I would pat him back to sleep or get him water, but I would cut out reading books, I don't think that's necessary in the middle of the night. My 3 year old still wakes up occasionally, but most nights he sleeps through til 6:30 or 7:00 am.
99% of the time when mine woke up, he was hungry. Typically about 1am which is an hour before MY bedtime, so it worked out just fine. The other 1% would be growing pains, nightmare, or a noise (or lack thereof) that woke him.
I guess I missed the earlier poll, but thought I would give my two cents. My 25 month old son sleeps from 8-7, so about 11 hours. He also takes a 1-2 hour nap, so 12-13 hours total. My son will occassionally wake up during the night. I can hear him whimper but then he will go right back to sleep. We just moved him to a full sized mattress on the floor and he has transitioned well. I haven't really had to wake up and/or get out of bed to check on him. But the other morning he did wake up about 6 and played for an hour all by himself in his room.
On the other hand, my sister's two children (2 and 3) still wake up occassionally to the point to where she has to go check on them. So you are not alone. Good luck.
No, mine doesn't wake up. I wouldn't say that there is anything wrong with your son. You just need to change the response you have when he does wake up.
Go in, tuck him back in and leave the room. Don't engage by reading a book or getting him water, etc. Right now he's trained that it's okay to need all that in the middle of the night. I know you will feel harsh by going in, tucking him back in and leaving with hardly saying a word. But once he realizes that nothing is going to happen when he cries out, it will seem less attractive to do so.
My youngest just turned 3 this month and over the last half year he has gotten better about waking up at night and maybe does it once a week now (and needs milk and a cuddle to go back to sleep). My 4 year old will still wake up occasionally for milk and a cuddle too, but not as often. I think they will just grow out of it eventually, although I will occasionally wake up to use the bathroom or get a drink of water, so maybe not!
