77 answers

First Time Mom Breast Feeding Advice

Hello All, I love this site. Thanks to my Co worker, she showed this to me last week. I've been reading all the postings and now have one of my own...

I am 27 weeks pregnant, with my first little boy Ryan. I really would like to try to have him naturally, and breastfeed after he is born. Everyone (my family) seem to make it seem like having a baby naturally and breastfeeding are impossible!! They tell me all these horror stories, and I’m just so worried. My Mom had both my brother and I naturally, and she breast feed us for 6/8 months after. So I know its possible.. I am just wondering if there is any good advice out there to do, or advice about going back to work (4-6 wks after Ryan is born) because I don't plan on taking much time off and continuing breast feeding. The only person I know that breast feed was my Mom and she says she can barley remember (it was 21 and 25 years ago ;) . Any advice will be good.

Thank you for reading & responding.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I want to thank everyone for the great advice! I had my Son- Ryan on August 2, 2009. He was induced early on Friday and I had him Sunday morning- 29 hour labor. After being in labor for approx. 18 hours I opted for the epidural. Unfortunately after 6-7 tries they couldn’t get into my spine correctly (I am the 1 out of 100 people whose spine doesn't separate! Lucky me).. They ended up doing a spinal tap & that worked well. I felt no pain, labor was a breeze after 4 pushes he was out. I did feel the contractions they were just more mild. I ended up getting a spinal headache after the labor and had to have ANOTHER procedure done as a patch to the whole in my spine. That wasn’t fun!

I tried several times over and over with multiple different lactation consultants + the help of my mother.. and my little stubborn boy would NOT latch on! He would when I used a shield, he would suck on each side for about 15 minutes each get frustrated and quit! So its been almost 2 months exactly that I’ve been pumping and he drinks from a bottle. On emergency only I keep formula around so he know what that taste like. But he doesn't like it! It feels really good to be able to give him breast milk. I do wish I could of bonded with him during feedings, but it just didn’t work out. I will try again with my next! Thanks again for all the help, I wanted to let everyone know what happened.

Featured Answers

Giving birth is one thing, but breastfeeding shouldn't be too difficult. Most people manage it just fine. And if you're having problems, there are plenty of people to consult.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D.,

I would recommend renting "The Birthing Story" produced by Ricki Lake and watching it with any of the nay-sayers you feel you need to get through to. (Close friends or relatives.) That might help them get over their fear and see where it comes from. Great documentary, made me cry tears of joy.

Hi-I have a 2 year old and wanted to breast feed no matter what. I had many problems. My advice is that if you have problems see a BCLC - Board Certifiied Lactation Consultation as soon as possible. They are extremely helpful, and the sooner you see one the better. I was able to overcome my difficulties after seeing one. Also, many people breastfeed without any problems at all - so hopefully that will be you!! Congrats!!

More Answers

Read up on the topic now while you have TIME. Then ask your OBGYN to recommend a good lactation nurse. Talk about non-hormonal birth control that won't affect your milk supply. Stock up now on breast shields - you may start leaking before baby is born. Get the cotton ones - the disposable ones stuck to my nipples and got all wadded up in my bra - gross! Also - at your maternity clothes store they should sell soothing ointments for your nipples. Your nipples will get chapped and hurt in the beginning.
Buy a pretty shawl or poncho or some of those Hooter Hiders so you can nurse without nasty old men oggling you.
I was induced 5 weeks early because my wiggly boy kicked a huge hole in the water bag. I went through labor without any pain meds but did get an episiotomy after pushing for 90 minutes because his heart rate was making the midwife nervous. I would reccomend a prenatal yoga class to learn relaxation and meditation techniques I credit yoga for my 7 hour labor from 0-10 - the hospital staff was amazed.
The episiotomy took forever to heal so next time I will fend them off - I think being induced made it harder to push - I just didn't get much of an urge so I pushed when they told me to.
Anyway, play it by ear and make sure you get a carseat and bassinet this week - just in case your kiddo is in a hurry too.
;)

2 moms found this helpful

Hi D.,

I had my first son with pain medication they gave me throught my IV and I was so out of it, I could barely keep my eyes open. My 2nd son was born au natural and I loved it! It was the greatest experience, yes painful, but to be so aware and alert of what was happening made the pain seem insignificant compared to the moment. I am now 34 weeks pregnant with my 3rd son and plan to have him natural as well.

I had to remind myself that I could get through anything and with that I was able to do it the 2nd time without medication. It is painful, but the contractions are only a few minutes and you have to continue to remind yourself that you can get through a few minutes of pain. As far as the actual delivery (pushing him out) I was okay with that, it was only the contractions leading up to the pushing which were painful.

As far as breastfeeding, I breastfeed and bottle feed my 1st son, solely breastfeed my 2nd son until 11 months, and will solely breatfeed my 3rd son for the first year of his life. With my first son I was slighlty overwhelmed and he starting biting me around 5 months and my milk supply started drying up around 6 months so he was bottle feed from 7 months-12 months. With my 2nd son he refused to take a bottle, and then was soley breastfeed until 11 months, but after I weaned him, I wished I would have nursed longer. I went back to work part-time 6 weeks after my son was born, I pumped during breaks and lunches and had to arrange my nursing scheudle to accomodate my work schedule so that way the baby was fed and full before I left. I worked close to home, so if I had an hour lunch I came home and nursed him or shorter lunches, I pumped while I ate my lunch to keep my milk supply up. We started rice cereal and baby food at 4 months, due to the fact that he refused to take a bottle. I breastfeed about every 3-4 hours depending on when I was working or not.

It is all possible (natural birth) my mom had all 3 of us kids natural and it was something that I wanted to do as well. It doesn't mean that it is the correct way, there are all kinds of ways to have a baby and no which way makes you a better mom or not, it is what you do with the time once the baby is here that counts and the love that you give them.

Congratulations and good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D.,

I know you've gotten a lot of advise, and with 2 little ones with me right now, I don't have time to read them all. Congrats on your pregnancy and I'm glad you have decided to breastfeed. I'm a member of a play group and probably 95% of them have breastfed their kids and had them naturally (sometimes not by choice). So it is definitely possible.

When I was pregnant with my first son, I had all the intentions of breastfeeding him, but it didn't work that way. We had a horrible time trying to 'make him' breastfeed, but he wouldn't latch on. After weekss of trying and worrying if he was getting enough to eat, I had to face the fact that it just wasn't going to work. I decided to pump and supplement with formula because I wasn't giving enough milk. I felt like the worst mother ever not being able to feed my son the way I wanted and everyone said it was the best way to feed your babies.

Also, when he was born, I ended up having to have a c-section because his head was too big and he was 'stuck'(for lack of a better word) and wasn't going to go any further.

I had the same feeding problem with my second son, but I didn't wait so long before deciding to just pump and supplement. I just wanted to share my story a bit because it shows that things don't always work out as we plan. My boys are very happy and healthy and doing great. I plan on having another baby, and will try again to breastfeed, but I understand that it may not happen. That's OK...as long as they are healthy and happy! Just relax(as much as possible) and try to enjoy this time, because babies grow so fast!

Good luck and God bless.

1 mom found this helpful

Both are definitely possible! Look at your mom! I wanted to go natural and even got a doula. However, I ended up asking for the epidural. Don't feel too disappointed if you need pain meds, especially if you have a prolonged labor. Many many women go natural though - how? I don't really know.
Breastfeeding is difficult in the beginning but by 2 months it was not painful and I felt such a close bond with my son doing it. I am a big advocate. I thought it would be hard to pump at work but I was able to keep it up until my son was 10 months.
The only thing I'd like to draw your attention to is that by 4 to 6 weeks you may not be fully healed. I went back at 12 weeks and was a bit sore still walking around the office. Best of luck to you! If you have to work you have to. Congrats on baby Ryan!!!!!!!!!!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D.!

Congratulations on your growing family! What a beautiful time of pregnancy you are in. Your stepsons must be having soooooo much fun watching & feeling your belly move :O) This will really help "ease" the transition of a blended family.......been there :O)

Breast feeding advice...........well, as a new mom I wanted to do "the best thing" for my newborn son, too. I committed to breastfeeding immediately and it was a lovely bonding experience. Especially for a new mother. HOWEVER, breastfeeding is not for everyone, and I don't want you to feel like a "failure" if you choose that it's too diffuclt to continue. I would definitely try it, but if for whatever reason it's not for you, then it's not for you. Your son will be just fine with formula :O) I nursed for the first 3 months, as I read that was the most important for my baby. That was a huge commitment for me. It's an absolutely beautiful experience, and it can be very hard for some. Only you will know when it's time ;O)

Delivery......I think we all PSYCH ourselves out before delivery. It's normal to be afraid of the "unknown". We always ask LOTS of questions because we believe it helps us be prepared for that big day :O) BUT.... when your day actually comes, your own motherly instincts will automatically kick-in and it will all come very naturally. Delivery is not a contest, I would vote for the epidural ;O) Don't feel like you have anything to prove to anyone, so don't let your decisions be influenced. Same goes with allowing anyone in the deliver room. The choice is yours :O)

OK, that was fun reminiscing down Memory Lane :O) Good Luck to you, D., and welcome to Mamasource!

~N. :O)

1 mom found this helpful

D.,

I bet you are overwhelmed with the amount or responses. But, like you I wanted a natural birth and to BF right away. I had my baby last June and I am still breastfeeding. I went back to work 3 months after she was born. I will tell you what I did - I invested in a REALLY good breast pump (don't go cheep, it is worth the investment) Becasue you will need to pump when you are away from your baby. Plus you want to keep your milk production flowing. Another thing - I wanted to go natural on my birth - the nurse I had (not so brite) told me I had another 2-6 hours of HARD labor before I was going to have her - so I thought to myself and said hell I am not this strong I guess and I opted for an Epi. Well by the time they got to me and put it in I was lying on my side waiting for them to put the cathader(sp) in at that moment is when my little girl was crowning - needless to say they couldn't put it in and I had her 8 pushes later. So you never now how things will go - had they checked me before the Epi I certainly would not have gotten one. Also, had I known that the amount of pain and pressure I was feeling was right when she was coming I could have told myself to hang in there and I would have had her naturally. So I guess what I am sharing with you is to be open - go with the flow. I breast feed her right after she was cleaned up and given back to me - she latched on with ease. Lucky for me! don't be frustrated if it doesn't happen for you right away - One piece of GREAT advice I got was DO NOT GIVE UP - Stick with it and don't worry!!!!

Good Luck and Congratulations - You sound like you will be a fantastic mother!!!!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D.--It is NOT impossible to have a natural birth and breastfeed for as long as you want! You can do it; I know lots and lots of people who do. It's important to educate yourself and surround yourself with people who are into natural birth and breastfeeding, so you can have the kind of encouragement and support you are looking for. Here are some suggestions for how to do that.

First, get yourself some great natural birth and breastfeeding books if you haven't already. Books by Dr. Sears and Ina May Gaskin tend to be the favorites in the natural birth community.

Second, get in touch with your local natural-birth/breastfeeding community. Your local homebirth midwives and doulas will have information on any groups, meetups, stores, and community centers in your area. The homebirth community is your best resource for natural birth even if you plan a hospital birth, so don't let the "home" part keep you away. Google a local doula, call her and ask her how to get started.

Third, get in touch with your local La Leche League and go to a meeting or two. They welcome pregnant moms who just need a little exposure to regular old breastfeeding, and you can meet lots of other breastfeeding moms and other support people there. Be sure you have the phone number of an ICBLC (certified lactation consultant) before you have your baby, just in case you need to call someone for help after your birth.

Fourth, join online communities that share your interests. Mamasource is great but it's pretty solidly mainstream; you need groups that are focused on breastfeeding and natural birth to support your plans. Also, the internet is great because it's open 24/7! I would suggest creating a (free) LiveJournal account and joining the natural birth and breastfeeding communities here: http://community.livejournal.com/breastfeeding/profile and http://community.livejournal.com/naturalbirth/profile

Others have found the mothering.com forums useful. I'm sure there are other online groups as well.

You can do this; thousands and thousands of us do. Best wishes to you and your family!

1 mom found this helpful

Don't get to caught up in what people tell you about what happened to them. I found that the bad stories come out because people don't want you to be unprepared. And if your plan doesn't happen the way you had planned, move on from it. My plan was like yours, natural birth, no drugs, but the baby stopped breathing and her heartbeat slowed way down and I had to have a c-section to save her. I felt as if I was cheated out of my beautiful birth experience. But in the long run I realize that the most important thing was what was in my arms. In the end, the way she came into the world didn't matter. Write your birth plan, and don't let the nurses give you drugs if you don't want them, but listen to your Dr and trust your gut feelings. I knew something was wrong. Keep trying to nurse even if it seems like it will never work, but in the end no matter what happens the job of mom starts once the baby is here in your arms. You don't "fail" if the plan doesn't work out the way you expect. Many many many smart, healthy, well adjusted people were raised on formula and or born c-section. :)

1 mom found this helpful

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