First Grader Concerns

People aren't born knowing the precise ideal way to behave in every situation. Kids spend their childhood learning these things through trial and error. All you can do is keep communicating and handling things as they come up. You can also point out and praise good behavior whenever you can. He's going to make some mistakes along the way. Without more examples, it's hard to know what you mean - but right now it doesn't sound like anything you should be worried about.

One of the worst things we can do as parents is to judge our child's every move, every word. It's this nit-picking which can create disharmony within the family.

Be proud that your child shares his thoughts & actions with you. Open communication is imperative when dealing with kids. & the best way to improve on your child's decision-making process is to model the desired behavior. If you don't want him to be a "name-caller", then don't do it yourself! When he approaches you with an update on his behavior, try to not show judgement....but simply offer another choice - one which you would have chosen.

As Margie M. said.....Sunday School, Scouts, etc are all beneficial to children. Find a positive outlet to channel his thoughts & energy.....& he'll be a more productive, thoughtful, caring individual! Hope this helps!

he sounds pretty wonderful to me.
if he hadn't intuited that what he did was mean, he wouldn't have brought it to you. he was seeking guidance. you gave it to him. he's going to apologize. that rocks.
it would be nice to say it's 'normal' for all first graders to be considerate, kind and empathetic. it's not true. of course i'm sad for the little girl who got called stupid, but it's something almost all littles will encounter at some point. we as moms think it will ruin their self esteem forever, but it probably won't.
keep those doors of communication open. obviously you are doing a great job, he isn't afraid to come to you, he's not worried that you're going to over-react and fly off the handle. at 15 he'll STILL make some wrong choices and be a butthead at times. it's a long long learning curve. just make sure he still feels safe to come to you as a sounding board, and as his example.
khairete
S.

If you feel he is hurting other kids feelings in or causing some bits of trouble contact the teacher and find out! If she has nothing to add and you are trusting your gut then keep talking to him on a daily basis and set the example. Be worthy of imitation in the eyes of the child.
Get involved in some volunteer work. He make card for the old folks hiome and drop them off or you can go together to help out at VFW hall, he needs to see that everyone needs a turn at kindness. Good Luck!

Keep leading him and showing him what the right choices are. Get him involved in a Sunday School or youth group program, like Iwanas, Cub Scouts, etc. Keep talking to him and letting him know you are listening. He needs you to be there and not condemn everything he does, show him how to make it better when he makes a bad choice.
Make punishments fit the crime, has he hurt someone, have him wrote an apology, has he not handed in homework, have him go to the teacher with you and apologize and bring in the not turned in work, even if she won't accept it have him do it anyway. (upper elem to middle school age), has he hurt the dog, take him to the pound and show him what happens to dogs that are hurt by their owners, then make it his job to feed the dog, you will have to remind him daily.

If it's any consolation my 6 year old would tell me when he wronged someone or made a bad choice. We would fix it and move on. At 12-13 he owned up to his foibles in middle school and told me why he did certain stupid things, we talked and ironed them out. At 17 he sat in my living room and cried because all his friends were having sex and doing drugs but he couldn't let himself do it. He is now 21, in the Navy has not ever done pot and only had one beer in high school.
That boy was suspended every year until 8th grade for idiocy, and we did punish, a lot, but I always sat down and talked to him and gave him my time to let him and me understand why he was being such dumba$$.

I think it sounds pretty normal for this age with other children. Children learn to properly socialize doing actions like this. It's called peer pressure, and and this is a great time and opportunity for him to learn to make the wiser choice than to go along with the crowd. Just be thankful that he is able and willing to share them with you. If you start to react to harsh, he'll learn to keep it to himself and you won't even know about it unless you hear it from the offended.
He probably knows better but is in a pickle on feeling the need to be accepted by his peers. Build his confidence and help him to do the right thing.
C.

Since this is the holiday season you can show him how it is so important for everyone to care about each other and help when they can. My first grade son went through his toys and donated a bag to the other kids in his class. Go through your old clothes that are too small or unwanted and donate those to people who need the help. Participate in a food drive. You can always find a giving tree and help them. Just remember to emphasize that people feel so good about themselves after helping each other. Everyone needs help once in a while! We can usually talk lots to kids but until they see kindness and generosity in action it does not have the same effect.

Based on this example, I am not sure what the problem is...Are you serious?

What I mean is, he is what, 7?? You are doing the right thing by talking with him but what he is experiencing is normal. Its your job to teach him that things like namecalling are not right and hurtful. Are you worried he is mean? Or that he is a follower?

He seems pretty 'normal' to me. Continue to talk with him about the right way to build frienships and act towards others. It's a hard concept, even for many adults, so just keep at it b/c it will take years. It's very hard to have your own mind in 1st grade. You want to be accepted and often kids join the bandwagon of behavior, sometimes it's something good and sometimes it isn't. I would talk to his teacher and see if she notices any red flags. It seems from this post that she probably wouldn't. I'm sure she deals with these situations in the classroom the best she can as well. At this point, i wouldn't be concerned over escalation.

Ask the teacher what (s)he thinks. Perhaps it can be addressed as a general discussion about what is bullying, and how to act if it happens. Our school has a "zero tolerance" policy and even witnessing bullying and doing nothing about it is considered being part of the bullying. There is also a formal program in which teachers get trained called "open circle". I think 2x per week they sit in a circle, like for story time, and they go over issues kids might face, from a guide book or else kids questions. My daughter had waited for the swing for a long time and as soon as she got on as a 1st grader, a 4th grader said after she counted to 10 my daughter had to get off and give her a turn. I mentioned it to the teacher who then as a general discussion brought up "play ground rules" and the role of the playground monitors, etc. There was a closed box where kids could put in questions and they will be addressed anonymously.
But it sounds like you are addressing how he is making others feel, and how hard it is NOT to agree with a friend even when you think that friend is wrong and you want to keep that friend. Difficult to do as an adult, let alone a 7 year old!

There's a marvelous little book that can help you learn to handle all sorts of childrearing issues with aplomb – How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish. When parents make a positive, empathetic connection with their children, the child is empowered to solve many problems himself. By the time you finish each chapter, you'll be equipped to put the lessons to work in your own family. I can't recommend this gem highly enough.

Honestly, I don't see anything serious H.. These things happen at school all the time, and kids learn everyday about socialization and socializing. It is very good that he lets you know what happens; so, keep encouraging that communication and close interaction with you. Repeat, repeat and repeat about the way he should behave at school and with friends. remind him about magic words and that there is nothing wrong with make mistakes, the important thing is to say sorry and make better choices, but again, it is nothing to worry about in my opinion. Kids are exposed to so many things at school and everywhere...it is part of life..Just give him always guidance and values, and for what I read, it seems you are doing a very nice job with him.