First Day of School and Already a Problem...

Bless your heart! My son also started his very first day of school recently and I was so sad. I felt like I was giving my son to the world and he would no longer be mine. I know what it is like to worry that others will not see how special your child is, and know that they are a wonderful child even when they do something wrong. The way you handled the situation with your daughter was perfect. This a new experience for her even if she has been in daycare before, she needs time to adjust. I am sure that your daughter didn't turn into a mean bully wanting to hurt other children just because she started school. After some time she will become adjusted and learn the new rules of school. I think the real issue here is how hard it is to send your child away knowing that the people at school don't have a relationship with your child, so thru one bad act they might classify your child as a "problem child". Just keep a constant discussion going with the teacher and your daughter, as you already seem to be doing. At the school that my son attends I am not even allowed inside the school without an appointment, so I have not had the oppurtunity to talk to his teacher and find out how he is adjusting. So you are lucky that you have open communication. Hang in there!

i applaud your support of the teacher. as a child of two teachers, i too see the blame placed on the teachers rather than the child. kudos for being a good parent and talking to your child about her behavior. having said that, it will get easier. the first couple of weeks are usually the most trying for kids, especially when they're just starting. it takes awhile to get into the school routine, learn all the rules, learn and still meet and play with new friends. hang in there :)

Dont over-react. This was her first day of school and she and all of the other children are excited and revved up. I think the talk that you had with her was just right...no need to get unhappy...just explain to her what you expect of her. Have a talk with her teacher...tell her that if it continues to be a problem that you definitely want to be the first to know. She/he will appreciate the fact that you are concerned and want to work with the school.
relax...I have a feeling it will be just fine!!! Help her enjoy this new experience.

You just described most of my middle boys pre-k year and Kindergarten.

Most teachers can be stern enough to handle the problem, plus removal from the classroom during fun times is a big deterrant. My best advice is to wait until you've had this action go on for a week or more. Do as you did yesterday, Don't get upset. Stay as unemotional as possible when talking to her about it. However don't repeat that she might not be able to go back either because some kids like that option.

If you still feel like being Proactive then each time you want her to do something give her a choice between a good outcome and a bad outcome. You have a choice, get away from my computer and go play with your toys OR I'll put you in time out for touching my computer. Give her 5 seconds to decide. Then warn her, If you don't make the choice on your own then I'll will make the choice for you and put you in time out.

The other thing is advocate for your child. Make sure her reaction was a defensive move.

My son was left on the bus one morning and that triggered a whole series of events in his mind and body that really messed up his ability to control his actions. His teacher from that point on wasn't as stern with him. She also made special concessions during group activities because he just had social problems. I think this contributed to his inability to settle into a different teacher's class last year.

Last summer we had him enrolled in a Personal Space Safety group at Family and Children's Services. But it hasn't helped my boy.

We've rewarded good behavior, had special therapy sessions and explored other parenting styles but we finally decided to medicate him.

It takes a years worth of actions before you have to take that step though.

The administration of the school really pushed medicating for months before I observed in class and realized the wild child I saw was not the one I have at home. But I believe the school set me up. When he would misbehave he wouldn't sit in time out without causing a disturbance so the administration allowed him to be removed sometimes by force from the classroom for hours at a time. Soon G-man preferred not having the pressure of other students around him. I was given a choice then home school, keep him home for another year or seek a medical solution. I took him to a child psychiatrist then in the same group whom he had seen when dealing with his abandonment and other issues.

Well I praise you for your support for the teacher. Working in a school I see many parents siding with their child. (my Johnny...no way!) You are definately starting off on the right foot with the talk you had with her. Continue to be firm with your expectations! Good Luck!