For those moms out there who are for schedules, I have a question for you! When you're trying to keep the feeding schedule (Which I read has a direct influence on sleep pattern) and when it's not time for your baby to eat yet, and he thinks it is.... what do you do? I'm talking when he won't keep a pacifier in his mouth, either. We're really working on the schedule thing with him, and it seems to be helping his night sleep for the most part.
Oh, and how do you handle the crying? Last night, he woke up after 2 hours of sleep and was crying. I did well for about 15 min., but then doubted myself and got him to feed him, and he wasn't hungry! So, I immediately put him back in his crib to show him that it is sleep time, and if he's not eating, he's sleeping in his crib. Well, I let him cry for a half hour after that, and then it was getting closer to the time he ate so I got him and fed him. We can't wrap him either because he gets too hot, and wakes up soaked with sweat. So, I think he would have slept longer that first stretch, but he wasn't wrapped.
It's just so hard being a mom for the first time. It's so hard to stay in control of him. I'm doing better about not giving in, but it's just so hard!
I specifically asked for advice from moms who put babies on schedules. I have talked to several women who believe in getting babies on a routine from the beginning. So, I'm sorry to the ones who are "heartbroken" for a baby to cry. But, we have different ideas on parenting. Why do you think there are books out there specifically teaching parents on how to get babies on a routine from the start? (Yes, it does involve a baby crying). Go figure. There are different parenting styles. Not one is right. Everyone has to do what is right for them.
OMG...It is super hard being a first time mom. I'm experencing the same thing you are....I don't know what to do because he's so small (7 week) to hang on to the pacifier. I honestly just give in because he's hungry. My baby acts like I haven't fed him in days. Now, what I'm experencing is that he doesn't want to sleep. If it's not one thing is the other. I feel so drained.
Well H. seems alot of people have negative things to say about schedules but I am one who is for them. Once my daughter turned two months old I decided to expand her feeding time from 2 to 3 hours apart. It's been kinda tough but we're doing better. She will get fussy anywhere from an hour to a half an hour before her next feeding time so I just try to keep her mind off it as much as I can. Your arms may get very sore but walk around with him and show him things (mine loves to look at pictures, the fish tank, different lights and shadows in the house, ect.) and as your doing it talk to him and tell him what each thing is and does. Also for this may sound odd but she stops crying when I do "airplane" with her. You know...just hold him up superman style. Be careful though. If her can't hold his head up well yet. Oh and also...there were a few days that she was extremly fussy. The doctor said she was going through a growth spirt and to feed her when she wanted and it would go away in a few days. And it did, we're back on track now. Well hope this help. Good luck.
it is hard (staying in control), but you can do it! you didn't say how old your son is. keeping a schedule is great for both parent and child, but it takes time for everyone to learn the schedule. hang in there.
i had the same problem with my youngest son. i would feed him at 8pm and put him to bed, and he would awake at 10pm. i would feed him (even though he shouldn't be hungry, and i am nursing). and he got into a bad pattern of waking up after 2 hours. so what i finally had to do was let him cry it out at night. i wouldn't feed him until at least 5 hours had passed. (i called it baby boot camp.) he was also 4months old, so i added one serving of rice cereal at dinner time...which i think helped.
the crying is hard to ignore, but ignore it. if you go in there, he has won. you need to win. take a shower, listen to music, watch a movie, etc...
as far as wrapping him, is there a way you can make the room cooler?
it will pass. my youngest son is now 7mo., and he's sleeping from 8pm to 7am with one feeding around 5am.
hope this helps. if not, i hope it was an encouragement.
Babies and children thrive on routine. They like to know what to expect....even at a very young age. It won't hurt your baby to cry either. Just keep doing what you are doing now. I missed how old your baby was, but I know that once they are a few months old and a pretty good weight they don't need any middle of the night feedings. Since he takes a pacifier don't wake him to feed him....if he wakes let him fuss and give him the pacifier. Don't offer to feed him at all. It takes no time at all and he will be sleeping all night. I can relate to the sweaty baby. That's how my daughter was....we couldn't swaddle her at night either. Just stay with it and it will pay off in the end. If you jump to feed him every time he whimpers you are just creating a habit for him. He will think he has to have that to go to sleep. He needs to learn to soothe himself....even if that's w/a pacifier.
I think people need to know how old your baby is. I saw that you posted something on Feb. 18 about your 7 week old. Is your baby this young? If so crying it out is not recommended. Letting a newborn cry for 30 minutes is not effective. At this age schedules aren't appropriate. Sleeping and feeding on demand are best. Your baby will start to show you their schedule at around 3-4 months of age. You mention showing him it is sleep time and not feeding time....if he is as old as I think he is he is simply too young to understand this. Yes these strategies will be great when he is much older but he isn't there yet. I know I sound harsh but it breaks my heart to think of a newborn crying for 30 minutes!! You cannot stay in control of your baby or your infant or your toddler. As a former type A person you have to learn, and I did, to let go and relax. Go with your instinct....if you think he is hungry feed him, if you want to hold him, hold him, if it is upsetting to hear him cry don't let him. Also don't believe that all babies should be sleeping through the night at 4 months etc. Not all babies are alike. I would recommend that you speak to your ped about what is realistic at this age in terms of scheduling, sleep, and feeding. Again I know I sound harsh but newborns should not be crying it out and the majority of mothers will agree with me. Good luck and know that you are trying your best! It is really hard to have a newborn!!!
H.,
I'm going through the same thing right now. I thought we were pretty loose about a schedule, but when I tried to change it, my daughter clearly let us know she wasn't ready for it! There is a lot of controvery as to who's advice you follow: Baby Wise (Ezzo), Healthy Habits (Weissbluth), Dr. Sears, Ferber, etc. so don't let anyone bully you with their personal opinion. I'll share my experiences with you so you can take what you like and leave the rest. My daughter at 3-4 months did well with a 3-hour feeding schedule. She's gone from 4 oz within 3 hours (at 1 week, yes I know very young but she kept losing her birth weight) to 6 oz. around every 3 hours (at 4 months). Ultimately, I try to get in 32 oz per 24 hours and she is doing great on the weight and height charts. It's not so much the feeding that has helped but enforced naps. We let her sleep when she seemed tired but she always fought her naps except in the swing or car. She was cranky more than I'd like but she would sleep through the night. I thought that's the kind of baby I had. After reading Weissbluth, I've been on the alert to put her down at pre-tired signals, because tired signals are too late. I've been trying to do this within 2 hours of each wake up. I also have been putting her down earlier for the night. It has really worked. Sleep does beget sleep. If they're hungry, by all means feed them but you can tell if a baby wants company vs. a baby wants food in the middle of the night. If its the former, I've done the graduated extinction method and it took a week to kick in.
H.,
My best advice to you would be to pick up a copy of the Baby Book by Dr Sears. In fact, I have an extra copy and if you wanted to read it you could have it and pass it along. Email me if you would be interested. ____@____.com
A lot of what you're asking very much depends on how old your baby is and I didn't see you mention that.
If your baby is younger than 6 months a solid schedule and "crying it out" at night is not realistic. Babies younger than 6 months feed on demand because that's what their body needs.
If your baby is older than 6 months starting a schedule is a good idea. I can't speak for formula fed babies, but my breastfed daughter still eats every 3 hours and solids 3 times a day (breakfast-lunch-dinner) and has biter biscuits throughout the day as snacking and to help with teething. By 6 months your baby is also ready to start self soothing at night and should be able to sleep all night. If our daughter wakes up at night we'll let her chatter which eventually leads to crying. We'll go in and soothe her then tuck her back in and turn on the mobile. If she stays under the blanket she'll go back to sleep. Other times she'll stand up or sit up and we'll go back in and tuck her back in.
I feel like a schedule is really more for mom than baby. Babies don't know what a schedule is. They only know what they need and when. If your baby is crying at night he needs something...fed, changed, cuddled, etc. I understand needing somewhat of a "schedule" so you know about when things will happen, but I prefer to call it more of a pattern than a schedule. For instance when my daughter was about 5-6 months old she was on a eat, play, sleep, eat, play, sleep pattern. It wasn't at the same time every day but I knew and she knew the "pattern" so she would lay down for naps well. If your son is just a few months old, it kind of sounds like he is, I think you should just attend to his needs. Babies don't understand why they have to "cry it out".
I saw your response, and I am very sorry if I offended you. I was just trying to offer my advice and maybe another approach for you to look at. I realize there are many different parenting styles and sometimes you can use several. But just so you are aware...the "cry it out" method should not even be used until 4-6 months of age, not 7 weeks.
"Ferber says you can teach your baby to soothe himself to sleep when he's physically and emotionally ready, usually sometime between 4 and 6 months of age. He recommends following a warm, loving bedtime routine and then putting your baby in bed awake and leaving him (even if he cries) for gradually longer periods of time. Putting a child to bed awake, says Ferber, is crucial to successfully teaching him to go to sleep on his own."
