To make a long story short, we brought our now 4 year out (who was 3 at the time) to see a dentist since her molars apparently had come in without enamel. They need to do crowns on those teeth. Since she has asthma, they could not do any gas. We brought her to this well respected dentist in town and he said he would do 1 at a time for 4 month. Well each time my daughter would scream and cry and we (her parents) had to help hold her legs and arms. It was just horrible. After realizing going through this 3 times and finding out that my daughter had more problems with her teeth (they say this is from her acid reflux as a child) we switched dentists and the new one indicated she needed to be sedated in the hospital. We did this and thank god we did because she had to have 5 crowns, 3 root canals, 2 fillings and 1 sealant (all on her baby teeth). I am shocked at how bad her teeth are and pray her adult teeth are better. The hospital visit wasn't a problem. Now they had to just take a look at the work they did and she doesn't want to even open her mouth for a dentist, the chair scares her, then going in scares her...everything scares her (for good reason). Now that her teeth are fixed we are brushing and flossing them (as we did before) to be sure nothing else happens (as best we can) but this child will need to go back for cleanings and she is terrified. How do I get her over it? I wish I could erase our experience at the first dentist but I can not. I want to take it all back. What can we do to get her over this fear?
Just wanted to add that both dentists WERE pediatric dentists!
My son is also terrified of dentists. He takes a something like a Valium before he goes in and that helps. Sometimes I have 2 give him 2, if he is really wound up and scared. Dentists do not realize what damage they do when they scare these little ones especially with horrible teeth. My son is constantly having to have work done because of his biological mother's poor prenatal diet and lack of prenatal care.
E. G.
If she is afraid of the chair, talk to your dentist to see if there are other options. My DD just had to have two of her primary teeth extracted b/c her permanent teeth did not disolve the roots as they normally do. She did ok with the first, but fought having the second one extracted for almost 45 minutes. He had numbed her gums, but the roots were still so long that she felt alot of uncomfortable pressure. She jumped out of the chair & refused to get back in. Finally to make her more comfortable, he turned the tv to where she could watch from my lap, sitting in a chair while he was able to do the procedure from there. Maybe until your daughter becomes more comfortable, your dentist can be more accomidating and allow her to lay on you, sit with you, etc? Its definitely worth asking!
We have always used a pediatric dentist too. My 6 year old does not mind going at all and will let them do whatever they need to, although he's never had any problems. On the other hand, my 4 year old has always hated the dentist and for no reason. When he goes for cleanings, they just try to do the best they can and they don't fight him or try to push him. He had the same problem with his molars and just went through conscious sedation last week to have 2 crowns and 2 fillings put in. (I was told that kids just get bad teeth sometimes, but since the permanent teeth grow at a different time, they should not have the same problems. I've heard it could also be from antibiotics which my son took several as a baby before he got ear tubes.) Anyway, the dentist said he would go ahead and do a good cleaning while he was sedated since he fights them so much at the regular check ups. He still did not do well...much better, but he fought them as much as he could under the circumstances. He never went to sleep during the procedure and finally took a nice long nap when we got home. After he woke up, he told me he didn't want to go to sleep there so he kept moving to try to stay awake. He just really doesn't like going. At regular check ups, the dental hygienists are usually pretty good with my son and try to talk to him and distract him while they are cleaning his teeth. I would expect your dentist and the hygenists would be used to this with other kids too and would know how best to handle it. You could try using some sort of reward at first to coax her into it, but I think it may just take time for her to get comfortable going again. Maybe after going to this new dentist for a few visits, she'll realize that she won't have a horrible experience like she had before and will loosen up.
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This is exactly why I stand on a soap box and YELL out loud for parents to choose pediatric denitsts. I am so sorry for your childs experiences. You are going to have issues for the rest of her life. You will need to just give her drugs to calm her down and after she gets enough confidence in the new dentist she may feel more at ease. Good for you finding another way to deal with the serious dental needs of your child.
As a child I had bad teeth and my parents just didn't take me to the dentist regularily. I have horrible teeth now as an adult and to get dental work done I go to the oral surgeon, get knocked out, and get the teeth pulled.
These are a couple of my worst experiences. I had an abscess in my front tooth in high school The dentist held me down and drilled my tooth with me yelling it wasn't numb yet. I had my wisdom teeth out and the dentist used his forearm to accidentaly keep rubbing my breasts during the initial visit while he examined me, then I had to be in the room with him by myself wile knocked out...I was terrified. Still am, even just cleaning them.
Find the best pediatric dentist you can...NO ADULT DENTIST! My youngest had a bad experience as a child...she's now 16 and I still have to have her gassed. Best dentist I found was a ped dentist that was probably 4 ft tall ..bless her heart but she had everything a kid could want ..from video games on the ceiling that they could play while she worked their teeth to any disney movie that they could fall into before she got there.
I am sorry about what you had to go through with the first dentist. It is not understandable how they did not recommend sedating her in the first place! It is horrible!
I would first calmly talk with her like she is an adult about what happened with the first dentist, acknowledge that her fear is normal, say you are sorry and promise her that it will not happen again (and make sure it doesn't happen again, of course). It should be clear in her mind that it is all over. Finished. Ditto.
Then do not talk about the subject for some time (unless she brings it up). Let her forget about it.
Then when it is time to go to the dentist again, make it sound like this is a completely different experience. Maybe call it the "tooth doctor" or "mouth cleaning specialist" instead of dentist, etc. And make it sound like this is a routine extension of brushing/flossing out teeth (not related to any dentist's work). It may help to take her to a different dentist as well.
Maybe having a special buddy will help also? A toy with teeth whose teeth will also get cleaned, and who will come along?
I fully support the previous two answers. Your daughter can get past this but only if you are able to manage your anxiety over this. You must forgive yourself. You did not intentionally put your daughter through this and immediately put an alternative plan into place after that first experience. Acknowledging the validity of her fears is important but you also want to give her the opportunity to work through them. Phobias are the most easily treated conditions. You can use a process of desensitization through pictures and role playing but first you must develop a matter of fact approach to this process. She will take her lead from you. If you are overwhelmed by guilt you won't be able to hide your anxiety. You did what you thought was best and made appropriate and necessary changes when you learned it wasn't. That's what good parenting is about.
