Establishing Infant "Schedule"

I would totally stay away from Babwise. I have a million reasons I will be happy to share, if you would like me to. Just google Babywise, and you will realize all the negative aspects of it that are out there. I would recommend reading the no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantly. It will help you a ton. I used to have to nap with my son too, but used her strategies, and now I don't have to. I never once let him cry either, and he's a tough little man!!! Good luck!

I read the book On Becoming Babywise about eating and sleeping schedules and it recommends nursing them and then feed them their baby food or rice cereal all in the same sitting. I followed it's guidelines, but loosely, as I felt it was a little too rigid. I didn't like having a kid cry and cry. But there's balance, because I needed my sleep too. Anyways, do what works for you, but here's my schedule that worked great for me when my daughter was that age. It has 3 naps and 5 nursings with 3 solid feedings that line up with normal mealtimes:

7 or 7:30 Baby wakes and nurses, then eats rice cereal
9:30 Baby naps until 11
11:00 Baby wakes & nurses & immediately has babyfood for lunch
12:30 Baby naps (I did it this way so her nap overlaps a little with my toddler's nap so I get a little break. I put her down right before me and the toddler eat lunch because it's less stress to have her down while I prepare and eat lunch.)
3:00-ish Baby wakes and nurses (no babyfood this time. Maybe some baby cracker puffs as a snack--the kind that dissolve)
5:00 Baby naps (this is the nap I'm trying to get rid of)
6:00 Baby wakes and nurses, then eats babyfood or rice cereal
8:00 Baby goes to bed with cuddling and story and song
9:00 I wake baby up for one last nursing without food, and then put her right back down to bed unless she's so smiley I can't resist playing a little with her. I'll eventually merge this and the 6:00 nursing and just nurse her once at 7:00-ish before bedtime and then not have to wake her up again after that.

So I tried to line up the solid foods with normal mealtimes to make that transition easier when she gets older and so she can sit at the table now with the rest of us when we eat. I like a schedule because I plan outings around it and have a pretty good idea when my kids will be well-rested and fed, so they won't be grumpy.

It sounds like you're doing exactly the right things for sleeping and napping. Babies can have really early evening bed times, and unfortunately that usually means waking up really early, too! But, they then take a nap 1 1/2 to 2 hours later, so you can both sleep again. That's exactly what my 6 1/2 month old still does. I think it's very hard to get them on a set schedule this early. Even when you start to get a routine down, they change. A lot of moms have told me the dependable schedule does not start until they are at least one year old or older.

My baby gets tired every 2-2 1/2 hours and I just look for the signs - eye rubbing, crankiness, screetching, etc. She's been on the same "schedule" since she was about 4 months old. Go to bed for the night between 6 and 7 pm, then wake to nurse (a lot!) then wake up between 5:45 and 7:00 am, depending on the light outside, how good her sleep was during the night, etc. Then a nap 1.5 to 2 hours later. Then hopefully naps every 2-2 1/2 hours for about 1 hour, but those can vary from 1/2 to 1 1/2 hours. That's about it. She has just started to nap for 2 hours in the last couple of days, which might be corresponding to her being more active.

I hope this helps!

Totally love using the Babywise method.
T

M M,
I just got this today from BabyCenter, and I remembered your plea for help! BTW...I really enjoy getting updates from BabyCenter periodically. They help me figure out my babies' needs and development patterns.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_naps-the-basics_###-###-####....

I need to start by saying that every baby is born with an internal clock and a metabolism. Lots of people think they need to get their kid on a hard fast schedule because it "helps" them establish a good metabolism/circadian rhythm.
That said, I think the schedule you guys are on now is fine for a 5 month old. You may WANT your son to take longer naps/shorter naps, but it just may not be what his internal clock is like. Our son was doing the really late nap thing too, but it only lasted a couple of months.
Your son will vary his schedule depending on growth spurts and any illness he may be fending off. And to not let him sleep when he needs to in order to grow or fend off germs may lead to grumpiness or the very illness his body is trying to fight.
As hard as it was with both our kids to let their bodies do the deciding when it comes to eating and sleeping, it has paid off greatly. Our son is almost 1 and has only ever had one virus. Our daughter, 2, has not been sick in over 1.5 years.
As far as his feeding schedule, it seems about right. Our son, like I said, is almost 1 and he still will take milk every 2.5 hours some days. Have you started solids yet? If you want to space out nursing, try some solids once or twice a day.
Good luck. Enjoy the summer with your kids! By the way, sorry if I sounded abrupt. I just feel strongly about the "crying it out" method. Mothers sometimes mention how hard it is to hear their babies cry when they are letting them cry it out and I think there is a reason we mothers hate the sound of a baby's cry. We're programmed to respond to our babies' cries because they are communicating with us. If we ignore their cries, we are ignoring our instincts and ignoring the needs of our children. :) But it sounds like you aren't doing that.

It sounds like your schedule might change in the fall when you go back to work part-time again...so I might hold off on nudging your son's naturally chosen schedule in any direction just yet, saving your efforts for the details that benefit both of your the most.
My daughter did the "wake up early then nap 2 hours later" thing. It was a phase that passed by soon enough. It may be gone by the fall. (It is well documented in a lot of babies, by professionals as well.)
sleeping longer when you are nearby are well-known attachment parenting benefit. Enjoy it!
I am an ex-public school teacher. I have known of many teachers (women) who said they would work full-time after their babies were born, but simply would/could not. These young years can not be repeated; it is best to really be around for your kids emotional/psychological health! Part-time work is the only work outside the home I would ever consider.
As teachers, one thing we were never taught enough about (in working with our students) is the importance of attachment...it goes way beyond the formative years. It is behind the lack of student cooperation, student violence (even subtle types) and much depression.
See the title: Hold onto Your Kids: Why parents need to Matter More than Peers....for your future happiness in parenting...and maybe for your future students! Our society and the schools are missing the mark, they do not even show much signs of looking in the right place for the solution.

We learned about baby sleep needs and schedules from "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau". It seems to me to be a very intuitive, common sense approach. I was uncomfortable with Babywise, it just did not feel right, but this one did.

Hope this works for you!
D.

Hi M,
At five months old, my son took usually three naps a day, anywhere from a half hour to two hours at a time, and I would just watch him for tired signs and then do one of the things that always helped him go to sleep: take him for a drive, a ride in the stroller, or a walk in the sling or wrap. Feeding was on demand but he usually ate just after and just before a sleep. He'd go to sleep for the night anywhere between 8 and 10 at night, cluster feeding until he was deeply asleep. Basically, we were pretty unpredictable with time, although we followed a fairly predictable pattern. I finally decided that my son was ready for a bit more of a schedule at 11 months. By that time he was napping twice a day. I picked 9am and 2pm as good times since they were convenient for me and common nap times for him, and instead of waiting for him to show tired signs, I'd just go ahead and nurse and then do the sleep-inducing thing. It worked a treat and he was very happy with it. I also started putting him to bed at 7pm, with a dinner-bath-breast-book-brush routine and then a walk in the sling. He slept to between 6 and 7 am just the same as he had been doing with a later bedtime. He started complaining at being put in the sling or stroller at nap time and taking longer to fall asleep, and shorter naps, about a week ago, and so I just put him onto a 1-nap "schedule" and he's happy again. I nurse on demand as well as trying to get solids into him whenever he seems interested, but again, the nursing falls into fairly predictable time slots around sleeping: just after breakfast, just before and after (or in the middle of) his nap, and after his bath before bed are the rule, with extras when he feels like it. Mine, too, seems to sleep longer when I'm sleeping next to him, and that is also how I usually manage to keep him in bed longer in the mornings! I quite like the excuse to have a siesta! Perhaps even your 3-year-old would be happy to come and lie alongside you and have a quiet cuddle at afternoon nap time? I hope that this info is of some use to you!

Hi MM. Try the Baby Whisperer book! It saved my life when I had my first son. It is wonderful and teaches you how to establish a routine for both you and your infant to follow, rather than a rigid schedule. You'll love it!
~M.