Dr. Advised Me to Wean 18 Mo Old to Promote Weight Gain

Updated on February 22, 2012
I.X. asks from San Clemente, CA
21 answers

weight gain has been a problem for my youngest from her very first week of life. We were nearly at the 20 lbs mark at 16 mo, but now she is down to just over 17 lbs (she is a bad eater, but last week also had stomach flu). My pediatrician says in his 30 years experience that he thinks weaning is the best method to get her to eat more food. I have weaned her day time feedings but not morning/night (Breast fed not formula, i offer cows milk in the day but she has little interest in cows milk). I dread weaning for a variety of reasons, but am not altogether apposed. 24 mo is probably how long I would have gone if we did not have this issue. Does any one think weaning is a wise choice? Did your toddler (not baby) gain after weaning? Obviously this is not about BF vs. formula since she is a year and a half old. Thanks.

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

When I weaned my daughter at age 2 she did eat more but did not gain weight... Kid lost fat and got taller.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

In my unprofessional opinion, I think weaning is a good choice. She needs to eat more solids to gain weight and she won't do that while she BF.

Good luck. Sorry you have had this decision thrown on you!

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

I'm not sure that makes sense because breast milk is higher calorie than almost any solid food. Perhaps up the fat content of her day time meals - cook all veggies in olive oil, add butter to pasta, etc. We had to do that with one of my daughters who was a very slow gainer. But our pedi told me to keep up the breast milk as long as I could since it was such an amazing source of nutrients.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

That is the biggest crock of stuff I've heard today. What is he prepared to do if, heaven forbid, she loses weight once you cut out the calories she's gaining by nursing? Oops, sorry, now she's really in a bind and you can't go back to nursing to fill in the nutritional gaps.

Personally, I'd find a pediatrician who is supportive of nursing beyond infancy. This guy isn't.

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

weaning her from breast feeding or bottled formula? Breast feeding NO, not entirely, formula yes. If Breast then add more daily foods, have her snack more often. IF its formula, cut that out completely, get on whole milk, Its time to find her something she will eat and digest better than what it is your giving her. Promote variety eating, and think about carbs. Dont turn to junk food to bribe her to eat. Use pasta's with cheeses if she likes this. Stay away from tons of meat, but try lentils, rice, and other bland yet satisfying healthy foods. I had/still have troubles with my 5 year old eating as light as a bird.

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S.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Personally, I think if you have already weaned her during the day the problem is not you breast feeding. Have you tried giving her more calorie-dense foods? If she eats scrambled eggs make sure you cook them with some butter or oil, give her whole fat dairy, add avocado and/or nut butters to smoothies, make her guacamole, cream soups, cheesy mac and cheese, even ice cream, if she eats veggies make sure you add a little fat when you cook them. Breast milk is not low-calorie, it has more calories per ounce on average than whole milk. I agree that she has other nutritional needs, but I'm wondering if her current weight loss is a result of you weaning her during the day. Did the two events coincide with one another? Are we only talking about 2 feedings per day or are you nursing her all night long too? I don't think 2 feedings each day are causing her to not eat food, but you have to follow your instincts as a mom.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Curious. Breastmilk is more nutrient dense than cow milk and she's been sick and might need the immunity boost. Rather than wean her entirely, I'd keep going and make sure her meals include good food - make sure she's eating more than bread and berries. If at this point you are ONLY nursing first thing and nighttime, then it's not about nursing vs food daytime anyway.

My DD is tiny. She's 3.5 yrs old and not 35lbs yet. At around 18 months, the pediatrician looked at me and said, "We're seeing genetic predisposition here." But DD grows and develops and is fine. I would look for ways to supplement her nursing with solid food, but I personally think that the breastmilk is going to offer her more than empty calories in puffs or other finger food she might eat without it. Offer her opportunities to eat. My DD has breakfast, a mid-morning snack, lunch, an afternoon snack, dinner and sometimes a nighttime snack. Little meals that keep her going through the day.

My DD is not a big cow milk drinker. I flavor it with a little strawberry quik and I offer her cheese, yogurt, and other forms of calcium/dairy. DD loves her vanilla yogurt. They also make yogurt with veggie in them if that will help your DD get a bigger boost. Or as someone else said, make her scrambled eggs with whole cream.

Now, since she's already daytime weaned you might not want to go back to offering daytime nursings and that's fine. I would just not be quick to quit nighttime and morning since she seems to need it and you're not quite ready. Weaning can be a gradual process. My DD weaned at 2.5 and that was good for us. Night was the last to go.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

I'm not sure. I think that I might try giving her some heartier foods, and also maybe limiting the amount of time at her breastfeeding sessions - especially her morning one. Her night time one shouldnt really impact how much she eats during the day.

Does she seem to be energetic, happy, alert, etc.? Other than her being small, does there seem to be any other developmental issues?

Has your doctor been really supportive of breastfeeding up to this point? Do you really trust his judgement?

If your daughter seems otherwise fine, I guess I would just work on her eating habits during the day. If she seems unhealthy in any other way, I would listen to the doctor and wean - getting rid of the morning one first and then the evening, if necessary.

Sorry, mama! I hated weaning my babies.

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E.J.

answers from Lincoln on

I had to wean my son at 9 months b/c of weight and developmental delays. I know they say breast is best, but there are times when they need more. My son needed a high calorie formula which I had to mix in bulk. That's something I couldn't hide calories in was my breast milk. I'd say at this age it's getting close to weaning time anyway. Other beverages such as whole milk and pediasure can have calories that sneak in, so I can see why they told you that you should. The most important thing is healthy weight gain for their developing brains and bodies. Best of luck!

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S.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wouldn't wean. My daughter was in the 75th percentile in ht and 25th percentile in weight (Sorry, I forgot all the numbers). I used to make her oatmeal with whole cream to fatten her up. Make her scramble eggs with butter. Avocado was one of her favorite fruits. If she doesn't like milk, give her yogurt and cheese. MIL used to say, "I swear every time I turn around you're feeding that child." Feed her frequently with nutritious fat food. She'll eventually gain weight. My daughter is closer to 50th percentile in weight now(5 yrs old). I didn't wean her until she was close to 3. As long as she is following her growth curve, she's fine.

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★.O.

answers from Tampa on

I would not wean simply because with nursing, you know she's getting at least some major nutrition... even if you wean her, doesn't mean she will suddenly get an amazing appetite, but in fact means she'll be missing out on the nutrients she used to get with breastmilk. I'd try to increase nursing and maybe see a specialist about texture aversion and nutrition...

My daughter did NOT gain weight with a quickness after weaning, she simply has a long lean petite frame.

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E.H.

answers from Orlando on

I would not wean her from being breast fed. What you could do is try to give her breakfast and for snack, breast milk--full of antioxidants and it will even help to boost her immune system! She doesn't need that much at this point, but give it to her more as a dessert and less as a meal. I would listen to your doc about how much calcium she needs in the form of cheese/dairy/yogurt/cottage cheese with peaches/googurts/etc. so she can get her calcium needs met via other ways other than milk. I would breastfeed though, to supplement and look at it more like a vitamin than a meal, at this point, if that makes sense.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I would talk to a lactation consultant, because honestly, a lot of doctors just don't get breastfeeding. It wasn't as common 30 years ago as it is now. You may need to replace a nursing with "real" food, gradually reducing the daytime nursings between now and 24 months, but that doesn't mean you have to completely wean right this second. A super gradual wean is a great thing and will keep you from experiencing pain. Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

The fact that your daughter weighs as much as she does is probably due to the fact that you ARE breastfeeding her. She's not eating solid foods for one reason or another as much as you'd like but she's still getting all of her nutrients through your breastmilk.

What the doctor should be looking at is how healthy she is. Is she happy? Is she active? How are her fine motor skills? How's her speech? Is she sick a lot? Does she have a lot of health problems? How about genetics? Are you or her dad petite?

Not all babies are chubby and robust. There's a reason that there are babies in the average of 50-75%-tiles... because there are babies that are much larger and babies that are much smaller. And that doesn't mean she's not getting enough nutrition.

I would offer her more opportunities to snack. Maybe she's a grazer and doesn't like having large amounts of food placed in front of her. I would probably have healthy snack foods readily available for her at any time so that when she asks she can have them.

See how she likes eggs and other naturally fatty foods, not necessarily dairy. I would talk to a nutritionist in conjunction with getting support from La Leche League for breastfeeding support. If you want to nurse her until she's two and your daughter is willing, then there's absolutely no reason at all to wean her. None.

Please don't wean her. She's getting fat, calories, and nutrition from the best source right now until you can find foods she likes to supplement your breastmilk. She'll have a lifetime to eat "more adult" foods. You have time to work on this. The fact that she lost weight from being ill should have been taken into account by this doctor, and is no reason to wean but is EVERY reason to keep her on the breastmilk. She needs it more than ever after an illness.

K.L.

answers from Chicago on

This is an interesting question. My daughter has always been on the lean side-worries my hubby! She was breast fed until she was 3. Even now she is 4 1/2 and still so skinny. If she only gets am and pm feedings, though, I don't really see how that would make her not eat enough. Some kids are just painfully thin when little. I was. If I were you I would do two things before officially weaning. #1 It's always a good idea to get a second opinion where breastfeeding is concerned when you have a doc who says wean. Second opinions are GOOD. #2 I would go to a La Leche League meeting and see what those women say. They have TONS of experience with this stuff and they are so kind and helpful. Good luck! (And way to go with the extended nursing!)

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Is your pediatrician generally an advocate of breastfeeding or is he more old school (thinks anything after 12 months is not beneficial, etc.)?

I would check with La Leche for a second opinion, and wouldn't make any decision until she's had a few weeks to gain some weight following the stomach bug. If you're only breastfeeding in the morning and at night, I don't really see a connection between that and being small. Are you and your husband just petite people? Perhaps you can work more calories into the little that she does eat - things like full-fat dairy, avacado, butter or olive oil on things, nuts/peanut butter (if you've introduced those already) etc. can provide a lot of calories and good fats.

FWIW, my youngest didn't hit 20 lbs until he was 18 or 20 months old (I forget which). Healthy as a horse, just small and slender and still is (he hit 40 lbs a month before turning 6). I nursed him at night and in the morning until he was past his second birthday.

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A.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I understand your concern, I would be hesitant to stop breastfeeding as well. I'm sure in the back of your mind it is comforting that, even when she doesn't eat well during the day, she's getting nutrition from the breastmilk 2x a day. Plus, it's something you can fall back on, for example, did she nurse more when she was sick? If you stop nursing, and dry up, you won't have that as an option if you need it.

I wonder if I will be in the same boat as you in a few months. You can check out my last post, my DDs weight is a huge concern for me. She just turned 1 and is in the 3rd percentile for weight at 16lb,12oz ( she was up to 17lb,2oz but then got sick with the flu and then an ear infection right before our appointment).

Our ped instructed us to go to a "Feeding Clinic", where we meet with a nurse, diatition, nutritionist, and a speech therapist and come up with a plan to keep her weight going up. We have the added problem of a possible dairy intolerance, as well as a strong gag reflex for larger or new textures of food. She also completely lost interest of finger foods while she was sick, it was a huge step backwards.

Could you see if you have anything similar to a feeding clinic in your area? And maybe ask you ped if you could do that instead of weaning, and ask the feeding clinic their opinion of weaning?

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B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Frankly I doubt the breastfeeding is for nutritional substinance at this point. It is more comfort. I don't think eliminating it is going to give the desired result because I doubt she's getting much calories from it.

Has your daughter followed along the same growth curve her whole 18months? Did he take into account the stomach flu? Has he always been against bfing? I think you need to get a second opinion or change to a new pediatrician entirely.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

All 3 of my kids are "small" for their age. The older two aren't even on the growth chart--never have been. My youngest is in the 5%ile. As long as your daughter is following her own growth curve, then the numbers don't really matter. My 6.5 year old is 36lbs; my almost 4 year old is 28lbs; and my 19 month old is 21lbs. I am petite, so I think it is genetics.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

It sounds like it is time, esp if your doc thinks it is contributing to her not wanting to eat actual foods.

I would also see what people eat when they are looking to gain weight in a healthy manner to see if you can modify them for her to eat, unless the doc gave you a list of things already. Don't make either of it a big deal - allow her to eat off your plate as well, when my son was being picky I just didn't bother to make him a plate, I would eat in the living room or bring it by his room when I checked up on him and he would get nosey and start to eat off my plate, then I would offer to make him one too. Once it became obvious that he wanted his own plate I would fix one for him and one for me put his in the microwave and then pull it out when he wanted it - now, he eats when he is called to eat and what I tell him to eat.

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

It does not sound to me like your breastfeeding is causing her to eat less. I think you need a second opinion. My daughter is almost 2 and a half and weighs almost 25 lbs. She is tall and skinny and is a toddler who is just not too interested in sitting and eating for very long. At 16 months she was having 2 bottles a day. Just before turning 2 we stopped all bottles. She did not have any significant weight gain after that and she did not start eating much more. I just do not see how you stopping breastfeeding is going to cause your daughter to suddenly eat better...it is not like she is breastfeeding all day long in place of meals.

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