My son had ptosis in both eyes also. The doctor was very concerned about his head posturing and so he had surgery to correct it in April 2006 just before his second birthday. I'm not really sure I understand what the second surgery you mentioned is for.
If you decide on a second opinion, my son's Dr. is wonderful. I don't know where you live, but it may be worth a drive if you are close enough to Erie.
I'll try to answer as many questions as I can and I can email you pictures of my son before and after the surgery if you are interested in seeing them. Anyway, the surgery took about 45 minutes and went so well. You really need to prepare yourself for how your daughter will look immediately after the surgery. The best way to describe it is a really surprised look. Her eyes will be open very wide and she will not be able to close them. My son recovered very quickly, he was running around and playing like nothing happened that night.
You will have to put ointment in her eyes and on the incisions a few times a day for a couple of weeks. You can buy the ointment at any drugstore and we still use it occasionally when Josh's eyes get dried out. It was a few of weeks before he started to sleep with his eyes closed again, (mostly closed anyway). They close a little more everyday for the first couple of weeks after the surgery. My son still sleeps with his one eye open, but only a sliver. The crease in his eyelids gets a little red and irritated occasionally so we just put some of the ointment on his eyes at bedtime and the redness is usually gone by morning. Other than that we have had no problems at all. You can't even see the scars anymore and he has very fair skin.
Josh was a preemie so his development was behind already, but the surgery made a huge difference. He could see things he couldn't see before, he speech really took off, and you could tell his balance and motor skills really improved.
I hope I answered at least some of your questions. Feel free to ask anything and I can send those pictures if you want.