Hey there from Arlington Texas! I am at the end of my Psychology degree and what have I learned about boys for $50,000? Absolutely nothing, Ha! It is all about personality, totally. My friends have girls that are tom-boys and they jump around and can be as rowdy as any football playing boy. We are a Christian family and I have done my best at raising my kids with manners, responsibility, good citizenship etc My kids ages now are 27,25, 19, 15 and 12. Two different marriages and totally different personalities in husbands. First husband was very strict (was a lifer in military from the age of 18) he is laid back, quiet, very debatable, very career minded. The kids I had with him came out, one very intelligent girl who got honors on everything w/o studying. Even graduated University with honors, she is an English major. She was very shy and introverted.She was like the perfect child, no correction needed. The other child did not get perfect grades, but he is very artistic and creative, very big socializer, matter of fact only went to school to socialize and had gobs of friends.He was very quiet and never jumped around the house, never really had to correct him etc He later got into short filming after graduating and him and his younger brother made a short film that later got accepted at the New York short film festival and the two of them along with some of the actors, producer got to fly to New York and stay for a week and got invited to a invitation only short film party. It was a great learning experience. He never was interested in college but did take a few classes here and there. He is just so talented in writing scripts and directing that we love him for who he is. He was a very responsible young man, worked at the movie theater for 8 years from the age of 16 and later became Manager of filming. He would actually build the films. Now for the last 3 boys.
Wow! Where do I start, my life would never be the same, their dad would of been labled ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Behavior in todays world. He was really overly active and in trouble for a lot of things when he was young.
Okay, first child by second husband is 19 now, but when growing up was an escape artist, from the age of 5 would roam out of the yard and take off from us and go on exploring adventures, police would pick him up over 30 times between the ages of 5 and 11. The last time they picked him up he was walking along the freeway as he forgot how to get home but knew the exits on the freeway so decided to walk along the freeway and somebody called it in to Police that there was a young boy walking along the freeway. He would roam to our uptown and visit all the shop owners and talk with them and explore the whole town, some of them put him to work at 12 sweeping floors and filing because he showed up everyday to talk to them, they said he was more dependable then some of their employees, ha! That was a music store and we could never figure out why he always went there as we are not a big musical family at all. Well, after many days of crying and thinking the Police were going to tell me that they found my son dead somewhere, God protected him, and he grew up safe and sound, he never liked school and got out and got his GED. Moved to downtown Portland to live in a high rise with his older brother, got into music, wrote songs, sings, and is recording his own album, he sings for audiences of about 200 and did an Autism event to raise money where he was the warm up for a Japanese band and walked out on stage to 1000 people and almost fainted, he said!! He sings and writes folk music, I guess he sounds like another singer that passed away at an early age, he has been asked to be signed on by producers but they want to control him and his music and he won't give in to that, music is an art to him, he says he would never sell out to someone and let them dictate his music, his writings or what he wears as an image. He edited the film for his older brother at the age of 15. He made good money by the age of 16 editing music for bands earning sometimes $1500 for 4 hours work. A few bands would fly him to where they were so he could work in their studio and edit their music. He never got in much trouble as a kid, one time is all. He ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time at the age of 15 once and he was with a kid that had a big mouth and some kids decided to fight with them but because my son was the shortest of the group, they decided to jump him more than the taller ones and he ended up with a hemorrhaged eye and broken nose. All the dad could say of the kid that assaulted him was ,"boys will be boys", you should teach your kid to fight and than he wouldn't get beat up. I couldn't believe his response as a grown up. This son is very thin, very manner-able, shy, loves to dress up with a tie and all, been in sales since 16 and looks like a model. He never was a rowdy kid in the house but as he got older would get his younger brothers in a head lock from time to time. Sit on them etc
Next child, boy, current age 15. We called him the angel baby as he never cried, even when sick, he was always at peace, he was not like any child I had ever seen and I had seen and helped raise many children having 3 licensed daycares. He was very shy, quiet, stayed to himself, never caused any trouble. As he got older some would say he is in touch with his feminine side or in Portland they would call him metro sexual. He never cared what anyone thought, he liked what he liked and moved on, he would often pick out pink for items in his room etc and for his first debit card he picked out Hello Kitty, the people at the bank said he was egocentric, he likes to cook, he is very sensitive and can cry easily. He is into debate about many subjects, he dyed his hair from blonde to black as he thinks he is more sexy that way! He draws Manga art and loves the Furry festivals where people make their own fur animal costumes and is saving up for someone to make him one for $400. He says he will entertain people at his nephews birthday party for free for all the little kids to enjoy. Is he different, yes, can he be high energy,not really but can run around the house real wild occasionally and often will pick on the younger brother. Does not like school except to socialize. Plans on taking the test to challenge the state and get his diploma early, very knowledgeable about things but hates sitting in a chair all day at school. They say he does excellent on tests but never does homework, he sees no point in homework, to him it is a waste of time! Plans on moving back to Portland Oregon where we are all from to go share an apartment with kids he grew up with in the fall as he will be 16. He has suffered from some depression after moving him to Texas away from all his childhood friends so his therapist thinks him moving back to the area where he is most happy will be good for him. Over all he is a great child with a very unique personality.
Last but not least is our 12 year old, this one is like what someone else described on here as a tornado wrapped in a hurricane!! He is labeled ADHD by todays standards. He would do things spontaneously since the age of 4. Was put on medication when he kept running in front of cars by the age of 6, the meds slowed him down and made him think before acting. This child liked school till about 5th grade and didn't like it after that but mainly because the kids were so wild in school and with the transfer to Texas, there were certain bully kids that would pick on him and do mean things to him so we pulled him out to home school him as he was starting to hate school and we didn't want him to ever stop loving to learn. I love education and learning, I just think the public schools are getting out of control depending on where you live, they are a lot worse here in the South than in Portland Oregon, a different breed of kids all together. This one will go to church with me and sit in the congregation with us, he does not like kid classrooms, most kids do not understand him as he is very intelligent and has studied electronics, electricity and engine rebuilding since the age of 6. They normally have no clue what he is talking about. His birthday request was for an external hard drive!! He has rebuilt computers, TV's and wired up surround sound by the age of 8. When he was little he would often play with locks on doors for hours on end. When we tried to buy him a toy that had like 6 locks on it to play with, he simply said ---that is stupid! He wanted the real thing to play with, now at the age of 12, he is a computer wiz. Before pulling him out of school he would fix all the teachers computers and projectors at the school when they would stop working for them, they were amazed at what he knew. He does come from a long line of Engineers with his great grandpa once an Aerospace Engineer and designed the waffle cone for the space shuttle and won honor awards for that. He nearly cut off the top part of his finger about 2 months ago but the doctors saved it. He nearly gets hit by cars many times as he is not looking. He totally wears us out, when we can't figure out electronic problems, he simply says, step aside please so we can fix this and move on! I believe God has something special in the future of this little boy and he has many guardian angels that watch over him daily to keep him safe. He is totally adventurous, loves exploring, can be a thrill seeker, worries over other peoples safety, very moody, temperamental, very high energy and can bike 20 miles round trip at a time with his dad. Can be very crazy in the house which is when we throw him outside or he has to give us one of his electronics to settle him down. He can go from 6 am till 1 am if you let him. I have worried and cried many times for this ones safety also as he can be a wanderer like the 19 year old and talks and knows everyone. I worry about his safety constantly but he is very street wise and since I also have a criminal justice degree he is well versed on never letting someone get you into a car, if they do you have a 75% chance of not coming through alive so he knows you do what ever you have to to stay out of that car. This child alone makes up for 5 kids!! I am very worn out from him and his high energy and pray God will give me the energy to stay up with him till he is 18 and ready to leave the nest.
What does it all mean, it is all personality!! All of them were raised the same way but yet vary so differently. Some are hyper and rowdy at home, some were quiet, no matter what we get so many compliments how polite they are at other peoples homes, the 19 year old has really good manners and proper etiquette, we get a million compliments on him, he always opens the doors for women of all ages. They are all different and we love them all and when it is all done and said, we can sit back and say, wow, we did something right, didn't we? Let kids be kids and don't cookie cut children or live vicariously through the children. I see many kids put into sports that don't even like sports but their dad had a dream of being a baseball or basketball star etc. Maybe put them in it for a chance to see what it is like and than ask them, do you like it or would you like to do something else and if they are male and say I want to try ballet, don't stereotype them and say, oh my God---he must be gay, let him take a ballet class or cooking class or whatever interests them, let them discover who they are not whom we want them to be!! God Bless and have many happy adventures raising children.
wears all of us out