Do You Have a Parenting "Motto" to Live By? JFF

Don't sweat the small stuff. I try to remember this when I'm getting upset about the house always being messy or upset about kids, hubby, etc....

Do the work now so that you can do what you want in life and not what you have to, You can choose a career and not a job.

They hear this when they say I forgot my homework or to do this chore......Work hard so that you can play harder.

GIVE ME A REASON!

I always try to find a little humor in no matter what happens. It really works to keep the stress and headaches away. My Mom always said, "Behind every cloud there is a silver lining." Also, "for everything bad that happens, something good happens."

Never underestimate your child.

Follow your child's lead.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart.

Follow your mommy heart and Brain.

If you have done your best. No Regrets!

Choose your battles....

My husband still hasn't grasped this concept! My daughter is 8 and I have another on the way. So far it's worked for me!

I was not put on earth to be your friend. I am your parent, & if all goes well, then we'll be friends.

It's important to me to be the parent....I cannot abide by parents who put friendship with their child before teaching life skills...such as common courtesy & basic obediance.

& I'm known as the marshmallow thrower....so there is always fun at our house. That is our reward for being good parents!

Parent according to your child's needs, not your wants.

I see so many parents who use disciplinary tools that aren't really working with their child because they:

want their children to like them
want to fit in with other parents
are holding on to some idealistic vision of parenting

god gave us this day... we're making the most out of it!

First do no harm. :)

#1: Well....I haven't killed one of them, yet.

Sounds awful, really, but it's more during the times when I doubt myself or my choices, or when my husband questions me about ridiculous things like, "Are you sure the fingerpaint is non-toxic." This is usually followed by my saying, "Well, Mark, I must have SOME KIND of experience reading the labels, because I haven't killed one of them, yet."

#2: The chores won't move to someplace else that does them faster.

In other words, they will wait. There are only so many hours in a day and my hands to their 10, so if the dishes don't get washed they won't go on strike. They will wait for me to get to them, just like everything else does.

Got teenagers? Tie a rope around them and hang on, its going to be a bumpy ride.

This is on my email signature:

Teenagers for sale: takeover payments=D

I ditto "Choose your battles". I'm a mother of 5 children, all 10 and under. If I didn't tell myself this, I feel like I would be a "griper" about everything. :)

Don't sweat the small stuff and it's (almost) all small stuff.

Never compare your child to another child.

Always have a Plan B.

I cant tell you how many times I've told my oldest - "I am not your friend. I have plenty of friends." Of course, now she's 19 And she's my best friend in the world. That was my motto when I was making an unpopular decision or not going out of my way to be liked by her.

Her motto for me was "mommy fixes everything." From broken dolls and flat tires, all the way up to broken hearts and broken heels...mommy fixes everything.

Life is short, play hard.

I remind myself this when I am busy cleaning and my oldest wants to ride bikes and I tell him I need to get this done and I look in his eyes and see the disappointment and hurt. I can clean later.
Or when my little tugs on my shirt while I am at the computer paying bills and smiles and says "chase me, mama". The bills can wait.

Don't run from the rain dance in it!
I love when you see parents holding their kids football style and running for the car where the kids would probably love to splash right in the puddle=)
Also sing like noones listening, and dance evn if you look like you're having a siezure. These are the things I need to listen to myself since i'm self conscience=)

Darius Rucker song, "it won't be like this for long". Has a double meaning. Whether it's a good day or bay day, it won't be long before your child grows up.

I am not their friend (yet) I am their parent. The Friendship will come later.

"I am not your friend - I am your mother!"
"One day at a time."
"They are only little for a little while."

I use it on the kids as well as myself a lot.."You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit"! =)

Kids are just small adults...seeing everything for the first time. Dont expect them to get it right the first or even second time....Shoot, they still know mommy is a work in progress......

The room for error is way bigger then you think.

Take nothing for granted...because it could be gone tomorrow.

...I could go on...I have a note book full of quotes...that I turn to often for motivation....and most are things I encourage my kids to live by as well.

Wise people should talk more:)

If they hurt themselves, they won't do it again ;)

For some reason, the one that pops out of my mouth a lot when the kids were younger is...."Don't get your panties in a wad."

And honestly, I must have heard it so often, that I just repeated it to my own children and it was not until I was potty training my first did I truly understand the deeper meaning of this simple statement....that if you wait to the last minute and then have to hurry up to get something done, you will not be prepared. Hence, your panties are twisted and in a wad when you are trying to go to pee, and you wouldn't stop playing to take care of yourself. And therein lies the root of many problems.

This too shall pass.... You can't have rainbows without storms.... This isn't my teen, it is an alien cloned to look like my wonderful child!

When I lost my 22 year old son last year in a car accident, I found some things don't pass, some rainbows are harder to see and I am glad we made it through the teens. What advice I would give to all mothers out there is never ever say something that you don't want to be the last words they hear from you. While I didn't have that trouble with my son, his wife and him had split up and was saying horrible things to each other all week and now his wife has to deal with the guilt of it. As a mother, we all have those times that we lecture or get after them, you have too, but remember to always say "I love you" afterwards.

That gives me one more motto I use to tell the kids "I love you with all my heart, it is the behavior I don't like" Live by "Correct the behavior, not the child" Instead of saying "I can't believe you are so bad" You say "that is such bad behavior, you are a better person then that" My kids were never called a brat or anything like that, even when their behavor was bratty.

That is a good motto from your grandma. I always say to be educated about important topics and get reliable information so you can make the best decision for your child and your family. YOU know your child best.

I may only have this moment... so make it count.

Sort of a live for today, or if I don't teach her in this moment I may never get the opportunity. So, even if we are busy... I always try to take time to have that discussion, go for ice cream, tuck her into bed, have the actual discussion that will formulate her future thought process instead of just "cuz I said".

Everything is fixable...IF yoy let me help you.

The four year old now repeats this back to me during his melt-downs after school. We're still adjusting to afternoon 4-K.

To me, this kind of goes hand-in-hand with "I'm not your friend, I'm your mother", but mine is, "You don't have to like it, you just have to do it." It works for me as well as the kids. Sometimes I don't necessarily WANT to go to a dance practice or a baseball game, but it's part of my job as the mama. And I never particularly WANT to punish my kids, but sometimes it's needed. At the same time, they never WANT to do their homework or their chores, but they just have to get it done, period. It's the way of the world & I believe the sooner you fully embrace it, the happier you'll be throughout life. You're not going to particularly like everything, but there are still things you need to do, for yourself, for your schooling, for your spouse, for your kids, for your parents, for your boss, the list goes on & on & on. Embrace it & be happy.

We have 2. We live by them as well and I believe they are part of the reason we are as successful as we are. I has a lot to do with attitude, etc.

#1 NEVER, EVER GIVE UP

#2 FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION

When our son was first born it was "babies don't know best" So now he's 2 but it's still really the same maybe "toddlers don't know best" We have to protect our kids and help them in life...cause maybe we don't know the best either, but they REALLY don't!! :)

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Or as my dad was fond of saying, Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

I used to tell my daughter when she was being particularly oppositional, "If you REALLY want to have an attitude contest, just remember, mine is bigger and I've had it longer."

Don't panic!!!!!!!!!!!!

In response to so and so's mother let's them. That is because other people's mothers are nicer than yours.

Also, in response to spills. Don't freak out, nothing could be worse than tripping down the stairs with a full plate of spagetti! I did this at my Mom's when I was a teen and it was legendary, think spagetti on the cieling catastrophic!.

"Too much of anything is no good"

"The harder I work, the luckier I get"

"Making mistakes is OK because the more you try, the more you learn."

"GO PLAY OUTSIDE!" (and don't come back until the street lights come on) :)

The only one I can think of is one I use when I need to give my 5-year old daughter medicine and she doesn't want to take it. I got it from our family doctor when I asked her how to get DD to take her medicine when she was about 3 years old. She explained that she's not above holding a child down to make them take their medicine, if they're not willing to cooperate, and this is what she told me to think in my head -

"I'm bigger than you, I'm stronger than you and I'm smarter than you."

It's not something I say out loud to my daughter, but it works wonders for me when I just think it. Although, there are times that I'm not so sure I'm smarter than her. lol

Honesty & talking it out is what works for me. Every since my son was born 6/3/09, I have talked to him like he knew what I was saying. So now when I want to beat him for the bag of flour he has decorated the kitchen with or my makeup tht is all over him & the house. I talk. It's like when you get a chance to rant to a friend and feel btr. He hears why I'm upset, what has to be done to clean it up & learns verbal skills. Doesn't work for everyone but hey, I'm lovin it.

"Pick your battles", and I use this for my kids and my husband! LOL

Dont sweat the small stuff!!

When things get stressful then thats what I tell myself and everything is easier.

I am good and only good can come to me and thru me.

I find myself repeating one of my mother's phrases to my children all the time.
"There's a time and a place for everything, this is not the time or the place for that."
I guess the curse worked - "I hope when you grow up you have kids that act just like you so that you can experience what I go through." LOL!

not a motto, but part of the song - 'mama said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this mama said...mama said, mama said' ;-) It was part of a commercial too, around the time my 2nd baby was born a couple months ago, so it must have stuck with me. I find myself singing it to me/him quite often, especially when I'm exhausted.

At least I don't have triplets, at least I don't have triplets, at least I don't have triplets.... (My twins are almost three!)

well there are a few-
Because I am the Mom
It all comes out in the wash
Walk it off..

Number one rule in our house
* Respect * for myself, for my daughter, for everyone we come into contact with, for property

even in anger

"Don't cry over spilled milk" (AKA... don't freak out about every little thing)
"This too, will pass"
"Take a deep breath and count to 10"
"Good things come to those who wait"
"Namaste: I see the light within you, as there is a light also within me"
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"
"Pick your battles"
"No matter what happens, what matter's is that we love one another"
"Those who pout, go to time out!"
"I am bigger n' meaner than you! that's why!"

And from TV:

"Please and thank you, they're the secret of the Nile
Please and thank you get's you practically anything you want with a smile" (backyardigans)

"Don't, Don't, Don't bite your friends"- Yo Gabba Gabba

and my mother's motto, passed on from "thumper"
"If you can't say ANYTHING nice, don't say anything at all"

Can you tell I have a 2 year old...? maybe I will have a lot more timeless words of wisdom to live by when the problems are bigger than "gimme a cookie!" "NO!"

My mom also used to tell me;
"never say anything about someone you wouldn't want to say to their face"
"If you break the rules, you are in trouble, if you break the rules and then LIE about it, you're in double trouble"
"Even if you grow taller than I am, I can still bloody your kneecaps"
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it..."
(but I have yet to use any of those...)

LOL
-M.

"pick your battles" That's huge for me. Do I want to fight with him about his choice of clothes, hair, shoes, toys? Nope. Rather save the fights for something bigger like safety, girls, drugs. I don't want to be that mom that is always hovering and "no no no-ing" their kid. I want to say yes about the stuff that doesn't really matter and "no" about the big things.
L.