Dealing with Pregnancy After Miscarriage

Hi B.. I'm feeling your pain. I had a miscarriage the first time I tried getting pregnant, and then when I got pregnant again, I was completely paranoid. It is the worst feeling in the world being afraid of getting bad news again. The only thing I can say to make you feel better is that I had a successful pregnancy right after I miscarried, so think positive!!! And keep telling yourself that stress is not good for your body and so the more your strees the more strain on your pregnancy. This should motivate you to be more positive, if anything. Otherwise, I know it's hard not to think negative, as we humans have a tendency to remember the bad things a lot better than the good. In fact, I was so paranoid all throughout the pregnancy that I ended up buying a baby heart monitor and listened to it at home every few days. But you have to stay positive for your own good, or you will go insane! you WILL have a wonderful pregnancy this time!!! Good luck!!!

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B.,

I am in your shoes right now. I have a 19 month old daughter and had a miscarriage in August. I was petrified of getting pregnant again because it was so hard getting over the loss and I was so afraid it would happen again.

I am 8 weeks along, but have been nervous since the day I found out. My doctor told me that it is completely normal. She too had suffered a miscarriage and she assured me that nothing she or anyone else said would make me feel better until I am holding my baby in my arms 9 months from now. She did say the first trimester is the most difficult.

I wish that miscarriage was not the deep dark secret that everyone keeps. There are so many women in your shoes, many who don't talk about it because it is something not talked about. What keeps me encouraged is how many people I know who have had a miscarriage and gone on to have beautiful children. As one friend said, "I had the child I was meant to have. If the pregnancy I lost came to full term, I wouldn't have my beautiful daughter."

Good luck and keep the positive thoughts that this is the child you are meant to have.

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I know exactly how you feel. I had a miscarriage before I had my daughter. I was a wreck when I was finally pregnant with my daughter. I worried about everything. There is no easy way to get over it, and it is totally normal to be nervous. Only time makes it easier. Just try to take a deep breath, and tell yourself that this is a different pregnancy, and everything will be okay. FYI - I wound up giving birth to a beautiful, healthy girl the next time I was pregnant.

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I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks along, a couple of years ago. It was devastating even though I wasn't that far along. We then conceived Brendan just a few months later (he's 20 mos now) and I remember feeling the same way you do. It was hard to get attached to him because I felt like something may happen.

Just be open with your feelings, talk to your husband or a close friend. That's what got me through. There's really not much you can do physically to prevent another miscarriage, and try to relax. A happy, healthy Mom will harbor a happy, healthy baby. :)

Congratulations!!
L.

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I had many, many mc's including a late term loss so I was a basketcase during my last pregnancy. Breathing exercises, mediation and yoga helped A LOT. I also spent time visualizing my baby growing and I visualized her birth. Nobody thought that I would ever carry to term but I did and now have a lovely daughter!! Nothing will totally remove the worry but you can do things to manage your stress. Those techniques also come in handy as you adjust to being a new mom!

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I know how you feel but I don't know how to tell you not to worry. I had a miscarriage in July 2007 and conceived again October 2008. I am now 14 weeks pregnant and pray all the time for the health and well being of my baby. I went and saw my OB right away, had blood work done and saw an endocrinologist for a thyroid problem. I take my thyroid meds when I should and had to be put on Progesterone for low levels of that too. I take all my meds when I'm suppose to, becareful of not picking up too much or over doing it and as I get further into the pregnancy find it does get better. I have a 8yo and 2 1/2 yo at home so there is always something that has to be done but get the husband to lug the heavy stuff for me. Get your blood work, follow up with the doctor and take 1 day at a time. Pray often and talk to friends, family, husband who ever when you find your focusing solely on the negatives and what ifs. God Bless. I know I'm not much help but know your not alone. A.

I was also parnoid after my friend had one when she was 5 months. So I quit my job at 4 1/2 months and stayed home for the rest of my pregnancy. I was blessed to have my family help me out with my bills. But the best advice I can give to you is to pray to your higher power and ask that he protects the baby while in your womb and that everyting goes smooth.

First sit yourself down and give yourself permission to breathe...in with your nose out with your mouth until your body actually feels relaxed....no thoughts about anythig is allowed during this...just focus on your breathing. Then have a good talk with yourself to stop being so hard on "You". Because all this stress you are causing yourself is harmful and negative....and it's effecting everyone around you encluding your son and continue breathing.

Slow down....Do one day at a time....Focus on what you are doing...what is in front of you althrough your day. Take joy in what you are doing, find the humor that's all around you. Eat a healthy diet and go for walks. Sit yourself down again and breathe everytime you feel the stress or a negative thought comes to mind....follow your breathing...

Buy colorful flowers for your desk at work...get together with your friends, do lunch, buy a small gift for someone and watch their joy in recieving it. Buy that something new you've been wanting to have but been putting off getting. Join a support group...a pilates class...something new that would hold your focus that you will enjoy. Play your favorite music...sing, hum, dance along with it. Take that man in your life away for a romantic weekend and focus on him..

Life is good, you need to focus on the happy, the good, the joys, the beauty in it all and begin to breathe and live again..

I have never been in your shoes - but had high-risk pregnancies (due to having a stroke! all is fine now though).

My suggestion is that you know that you are your own best advocate. YOU control the situation. If you don't want to feel anxious, then do things that make you feel better and healthy about your pregnancy. Whether it's indulging in a smoothie, ice cream (yummy!) or massages or prenatal yoga, breathing exercises...

I'm sure there's support groups if you feel that it would be beneficial to you.

Hang in there!!
A.

You can't be paranoid - easier said than done. It will be what it is no matter how anxious you are or aren't. With the exception of truly abusing your body and health (which I know you aren't - I mean with drugs, alcohol, etc) - it really will be what it will be. If it results in miscarriage - it's not your fault. But, if it is all fine - enjoy the pregnancy and all the things that come with it. You don't know anything for sure at this point - go with the moment - that is the most important. Right now - enjoy the pregnancy and be with that moment - stay focused on the present moment - not what may or may not happen that you have no control over. Oh- one other thing - I am in your shoes. I know exactly how you feel. Just remember - you can't change it. Enjoy the fact that, right now, you are never alone - no matter where you are and focus on the joy of it all.

You're going to worry the whole first trimester! Most of us do, even if we haven't experienced your loss. The good news for you is that it's pretty rare for someone to have multiple miscarriages if they've already had a full term baby, unless there's a medical issue. If you're healthy, then you'll probably be fine!

But there are no guarantees, of course. So all you can do is rest, take care of yourself, enjoy your 18 month old (tantrums and all!), and ask your hubby to be extra good to you. Go get a massage, take a nice (not too hot) bath, eat that yummy dinner your husband made for you and thank him profusely when he does the dishes, too... :)

Good luck, and send us an update when you hit the second trimester!!!

Hi B.,

I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Although I have never experienced a loss such as yours, I have been dealing with the stress of infertility over the past year and a half. The emotions have been very difficult for me to deal with. I found Jennifer Bloome's website below:
http://www.anjionline.com/index.php

I receive her free newsletter and have used some of her free MP Guided meditations and they have helped me tremendously. She has some specifically for preventing miscarriage and creating a healthy pregnancy. I think the mind body connection is very real and can be so important for fertility and pregnancy. Any positive visualization or meditation would probably help you. You can even make up your own, but check out the website and maybe you will find something there that can help too.
I wish you all the best and I send you my prayers.
B.

The likelihood of having a second miscarriage in a woman who has already had full term pregnancy is quite minimal. Try to pamper yourself as much as you can! I would focus on being healthy, try preparing some new healthy meals, exercise, give yourself a facial, pedicure, do things for you -- make time for you! If you are tired, nap. If you need to get a sitter to rest and relax, then do it! Try to keep the stress minimal as we know stress can cause many problems with your body and pregnancy!!!

Best of Luck!

I found out I was pregnant after returning from a trip to Asia, having had several vaccines and having taken anti-malarial pills, all of which you are not supposed to have or take while pregnant. As you can imagine, I freaked out and started to worry about every little thing. Then I realized that the stressful environment I was creating with every worry was probably worse for my baby than the drugs. So I let go of it all. I took a little undisturbed time to lie down on my bed, hands on my belly, and talked to my unborn child. I told my baby that I realized that I could not make any of the decisions and I was not in control. I told my baby that Baby had to do what was right for Baby and I would be OK either way, and I loved Baby and would support Baby, whatever that took. I know this sounds totally hokey, but from that moment on I didn't worry. At all. I did what was within my power--ate well, took my pre-natal vitamins, exercised. But the things I couldn't control, like whether or not I would carry the baby to term and whether or not there would be any long term health problems, didn't stress me out anymore.

My son is now 6. He is healthy, strong, bright, and the light of our lives. I hope this helps!